egg donors
Why Egg Donor Age Matters (And Why It Doesn't)
ge, there is an ideal age range to optimize for a successful cycle. In this article, I'll share what you need to know about how the age of the egg donor impacts your chances of success. We'll look at the biological factors that influence egg quality, explore recent research that challenges common assumptions, and discuss other important considerations beyond age. By understanding these factors, you'll be better equipped to make an informed decision when selecting an egg donor for your family.
I'm often asked by intended parents about the ideal age for egg donors. They want to know how much the age of the egg donor matters when it comes to donor egg IVF. Should they focus on finding a donor in her 20s? Is early 30s okay? While there isn’t a perfect age, there is an ideal age range to optimize for a successful cycle.
In this article, I'll share what you need to know about how the age of the egg donor impacts your chances of success. We'll look at the biological factors that influence egg quality, explore recent research that challenges common assumptions, and discuss other important considerations beyond age. By understanding these factors, you'll be better equipped to make an informed decision when selecting an egg donor for your family.
The sweet spot for egg donor age
The best age range for donor eggs typically falls between 21 and 34 years old. Here's why:
Peak fertility
From a purely biological standpoint, women in their early 20s through early 30s are generally at the height of their reproductive health. During this time:
- Egg quality is typically at its best
- The risk of chromosomal abnormalities is lower
- Ovarian reserve is usually more robust
Emotional readiness
Donors in their mid-20s to early-30s are also more likely to be emotionally prepared to become an egg donor than younger women. This is a huge decision, and it’s important that egg donors understand the impact of their donation and can confidently follow through on the procedure. Here’s what we mean by emotional readiness:
- Making informed decisions about donation
- Understanding the long-term implications of the process
- Reliably following medical protocols
Donor age vs AMH
As long as an egg donor is between the ages of 21-34, her AMH level will be more predictive of success than her age. AMH is an excellent predictor of ovarian response, and your fertility doctor will use the egg donor’s AMH levels (amongst other biomarkers) to determine the drugs and dosages during the procedure.
Younger donor eggs may not always be better
While the conventional wisdom often leans towards younger donors, recent research has provided some interesting insights that challenge this assumption:
A study focusing on infertility patients using donor eggs found that the chances of live birth were actually 13% lower for cycles using donors under 25 years old compared to those using donors aged 25 to 29.
An older but extensive study involving 3,889 fresh donor egg cycles revealed that donors aged 30 to 34 had a higher incidence of live birth than both younger donors (under 30) and older donors (over 34).
These findings suggest that the relationship between donor age and successful outcomes is more complex than simply "younger is better."
The good news is that the number of eggs retrieved - for donors at any age - is predictable. When you find a donor profile that resonates with you, your fertility doctor can help determine if she’s a good candidate.
Age limits in practice
American Society for Reproductive Medicine (ASRM) suggests that egg donors be at least 21 years of age at the time of donation. Most clinics and agencies like Cofertility follow this suggestion to ensure the donor is mature enough to understand the procedure and follow through on the commitment.
While there is no legal maximum age to become an egg donor, ASRM recommends that donors be under the age of 34 and most clinics follow this guideline. At Cofertility, we require our Split program members to be 33 or under.
Factors beyond age
While age is a significant factor, it's not the only consideration when selecting an egg donor. Other important aspects include:
1. Overall health: A donor's general well-being can impact egg quality
2. Family medical history: This can provide insights into potential genetic factors
3. Lifestyle choices: Habits like smoking or excessive alcohol consumption can affect egg quality
4. Fertility indicators: Measures like AMH levels and antral follicle count offer more precise fertility information
5. Fit for your family: Most importantly, you’ll want to find a fit that feels right for your family.
All the donors at Cofertility are pre-qualified. Read more in How does Cofertility Screen Egg Donors?
The bottom line
While the biologically optimal age for donor eggs is generally between 21 and 34, the "best" age can vary depending on individual circumstances and priorities. At Cofertility, we carefully screen all potential donors, ensuring that regardless of age, they meet high standards for health and fertility.
Remember, the goal is to find the right donor for your family. Our team is here to support you through this process, providing the information and support you need to make an informed decision.
Choosing an egg donor is a big step in your family-building journey. By understanding the role that age plays in egg quality and donor suitability, you're better equipped to navigate this complex but rewarding process. We wish you the best of luck!
Read more:
Cofertility’s Fresh Vs. Frozen Egg Donation Program: Which is Right for Me?
If you’re embarking on the donor egg IVF journey as an intended parent, one of the first decisions you'll face is whether to do a fresh or frozen egg donation cycle. At Cofertility, we offer both options, each with its own unique advantages.
If you’re embarking on the donor egg IVF journey as an intended parent, one of the first decisions you'll face is whether to do a fresh or frozen egg donation cycle. At Cofertility, we offer both options, each with its own unique advantages. But before we dive into the specifics of our fresh and frozen egg donation programs, it's important to highlight a few key aspects of the Cofertility model and experience that remain constant, regardless of which path you choose.
First and foremost, every donor at Cofertility participates in our unique egg sharing model. Instead of receiving cash compensation, Cofertility donors complete a split cycle in which they keep half of the mature eggs retrieved, and donate the other half to intended parents. This means that our donors aren't motivated by financial compensation, but rather by the opportunity to help your family today alongside their own future family building goals. It's a win-win situation that ensures our donors are genuinely committed to the process and aligns their interests with those of intended parents.
Secondly, no matter which program you opt for, you'll be protected by our Baby Guarantee. While the scope of the guarantee varies with fresh versus frozen, know that everyone on our team is deeply committed to helping you achieve your dream of parenthood, and this guarantee reflects that commitment. We truly want you to go home with a baby, and we're willing to stand behind that commitment.
Third, regardless of the program you choose, you’ll have the option to decide between having a disclosed or undisclosed relationship with the egg donor. You can also meet with the donor in either program, though the timing of that meeting varies based on whether you go fresh or frozen.
With these promises in place, let's explore the specific features of our fresh and frozen programs to help you determine which path might be the best fit for your family-building journey.
Cofertility’s frozen egg donation program
Matching with a donor in our frozen egg donation program offers several benefits that make it an attractive option for many intended parents.
Increased certainty
A significant advantage of matching with a donor in our frozen program is the increased certainty it brings to the egg donation process. When you match with an egg donor who is available for a frozen cycle, she has either completed her retrieval or has completed most or all of her medical screening and will be starting her cycle soon. With things like genetic testing results and psych clearance in hand, this means fewer unknowns and a smoother path forward.
But what does this mean for you in practical terms? It means less waiting, less anxiety, and more confidence in the process. You'll know from the start that your chosen donor has met all medical requirements to donate, reducing the risk of last-minute surprises or disappointments. This can be particularly reassuring for intended parents who have experienced setbacks in their fertility journey and are seeking a more predictable path forward.
Speed
If time is of the essence in your family-building journey, matching with donors participating in our frozen program might be a great fit. Since the time-consuming screening process is either complete or well underway, the period from matching to cycling can be significantly shorter. This is particularly beneficial if you're eager to transfer embryos as soon as possible.
Consider this: with a fresh egg donation cycle, you might wait one to three months for your donor to complete all necessary screenings and synchronize her cycle with yours. When you match with a donor in our frozen program, you could potentially be ready to create embryos within days of matching. For many intended parents, especially those who feel that time is of the essence, this acceleration of the process can be a game-changer.
Baby Guarantee
Perhaps one of the most compelling aspects of working with Cofertility is our unprecedented Frozen Baby Guarantee. Unlike traditional egg banks that might offer a blastocyst guarantee, we go a step further with a live birth guarantee. This means if the frozen eggs you receive do not result in a live birth, we'll replace them with an equivalent number of eggs from a new donor for $0. You won't have to pay for any screening or retrieval fees again, the only costs you’d need to pay are the additional shipping and fertilization expenses at the clinic. This guarantee covers the entire cost of the match, providing you with peace of mind and financial protection.
Essentially, we're sharing the financial risk of the egg donation process. This can provide immense peace of mind, knowing that your investment is protected and that we're committed to your success.
Cofertility’s fresh egg donation program
While matching with a donor from our frozen egg donation program offers significant advantages, matching with a donor from our fresh egg donation program also has its own unique benefits that many intended parents find appealing.
Fresh egg embryo creation
One of the primary advantages of fresh egg donation is the ability to create embryos immediately upon egg retrieval. Some doctors prefer to fertilize fresh eggs vs. previously frozen eggs. This is because it could potentially lead to a higher number of healthy embryos, as it eliminates the need for egg thawing, a process that can sometimes result in the loss of some eggs.
Every egg is precious in this process. So while freezing techniques have advanced significantly in recent years, with vitrification there's still a 5% chance that some eggs may not survive the thawing process. With fresh eggs, you're working with eggs in their most viable state, potentially increasing your chances of creating healthy embryos.
Local cycles and continuity of care
When you match with a donor from our fresh egg donation program, you have the option of having that donor cycle at your clinic under the care of your own doctor. If you've already established a strong relationship with your fertility team, this ensures continuity throughout the entire process, from egg retrieval to embryo transfer.
This continuity can be incredibly valuable. Your fertility team already knows your medical history, understands your specific situation, and has likely built a rapport with you. Being able to continue working with them through the egg donation process can provide an added layer of comfort and familiarity during what can be an emotionally charged time.
Additionally, having the egg retrieval performed at your local clinic means you have more control over the process. You can be present (if you choose) on the day of the retrieval, adding to the sense of involvement and connection to the process.
A chance to meet the donor before the match is official
With either program, you’ll have the option of having a disclosed or undisclosed donation and can choose to meet the donor if that’s something both parties are interested in.
However, if you’re interested in matching with a donor from our fresh program, you’ll have the unique opportunity to potentially meet with the donor before she begins her cycle as part of our mutual matching process. This can be a meaningful experience for intended parents who value this personal connection from the outset.
For some intended parents, meeting the donor before the retrieval can help solidify their choice and create a sense of connection to the process. It can be an opportunity to express gratitude, ask questions, or simply put a face to the generous individual who is helping to make your dreams of parenthood a reality.
It's important to note, however, that this meeting is entirely optional. We understand that every intended parent and egg donor has different comfort levels when it comes to donor contact, and we respect whatever level of interaction you prefer.
Making your decision: it's all about finding your perfect match
Ultimately, for many intended parents, the choice between our fresh and frozen programs often comes down to finding the right donor. Both programs have their merits, and the best choice for you will depend on your specific circumstances, preferences, and the connection you feel with potential donors.
If you're open to either journey, we recommend exploring both options. You might find that you connect deeply with a donor in our fresh egg donation program, or you might discover that the perfect donor for you has already completed her cycle as a part of our frozen egg donation program.
Consider your priorities:
- Is time a critical factor for you? If so, frozen egg donation might be your best bet.
- Do you feel strongly about using fresh eggs? Then fresh egg donation could be the way to go.
- Is the ability to meet your donor before the retrieval important to you? With donors in our fresh egg donation program, you could have this opportunity.
- Are you looking for the highest level of financial protection? The Frozen Baby Guarantee might be particularly appealing.
At Cofertility, we're committed to supporting you through every step of your journey, regardless of which program you choose. Our team is here to answer your questions, address your concerns, and help you navigate this important decision.
Remember, this is your journey. Trust your instincts, ask questions, and don't hesitate to reach out to our team for guidance. We're here to help you navigate these decisions and find the path that feels right for you.
In the end, whether you go fresh or frozen, what matters most is the family you're building and the love that will fill your home. That is the most beautiful outcome of all. Your future child won't care whether they came from fresh or frozen eggs – they'll just be thrilled to be part of your family.
So take a deep breath, trust in the process, and know that with Cofertility by your side, you're one step closer to holding your baby in your arms. We’ve got hundreds of incredible donors on our egg donation platform who would love to help you make your dreams of parenthood a reality.
An Intended Parents Guide to Fresh Egg Donation with Cofertility
Everything you need to know about matching with a donor in Cofertility's fresh egg donation program, including the donation, screening, and retrieval process.
At Cofertility, we believe that everyone deserves the ability to build the family of their dreams. Part of this is ensuring intended parents have access to different options for working with an egg donor, including both fresh and frozen egg donation. In this guide, we’ll walk you through everything you need to know about working with a donor in our fresh program.
If you’re interested in learning more about our options for frozen egg donation, click here.
An overview of fresh egg donation
Our unique egg sharing model provides intended parents with an alternative to cash compensation for egg donation. At Cofertility, our donors always go through a split cycle in which she keeps half of the eggs retrieved for her own future family planning and donates half to your family.
The key difference between fresh and frozen egg donation with Cofertility is the point at which the donor completes her screening and egg retrieval. With fresh egg donation, the screening and retrieval process is started after you match with the donor.
Rest assured, we complete preliminary screening for donors prior to listing them on our platform, so all donors have been pre-qualified to move forward with egg donation per ASRM, FDA, and standard egg donation guidelines. Initial screening includes:
- Confirming the donor's age is within ASRM guidelines. All donors on our matching platform are 21-33 years old.
- Reviewing the donor’s personal medical history, including lifestyle, chronic conditions, mental health, and reproductive health, in line with ASRM, FDA, and standard egg donation guidelines.
- Reviewing the donor’s biological family’s medical history, inclusive of evidence of genetic disorders, cancer history, and other conditions and illnesses, in line with ASRM, FDA, and standard guidelines.
- Collecting and reviewing past egg donation history with outcomes, if applicable.
- AMH testing via blood draw. All Cofertility donors are required to have an AMH level of 2.0 or higher.
Upon confirming a mutual match between you and the donor, additional screening will be initiated to include:
- Antral follicle count (AFC) assessment
- General health examination
- Genetic carrier screening
- Psychological screening
Once the donor completes the necessary screening and receives your doctor’s approval to move forward as a donor, you’ll enter into a legal agreement directly with the donor. From there, the egg retrieval process will begin.
Considerations for fresh egg donation
Both fresh or frozen egg donation can be great options, depending on your individual goals and what you’re looking for at this point in time. There are several reasons intended parents may choose to pursue fresh egg donation with Cofertility.
Fresh embryo creation
One of the main perks of fresh egg donation is that embryos can be created immediately upon retrieval, rather than being created from previously-frozen eggs. This could potentially lead to more healthy embryos being successfully created, since the thawing process can lead to a loss of some eggs.
Local cycles
Additionally, working with a donor in our fresh program allows for the opportunity to have the donor cycle at your clinic, potentially even with your doctor. If you have already established a great relationship with your doctor and their team, this can ensure continuity throughout the entire process.
Meeting the donor pre-retrieval
While both programs allow you to meet with the donor (and both allow for disclosed or undisclosed donations), with fresh egg donation, you can meet with the donor in advance of her completing her retrieval cycle.
Finding the right donor
Ultimately, the most important thing is that you feel great about the donor who you match with. If you’re open to either journey, it might just be a question of finding the right donor and then accommodating whichever program she’s in.
Our Baby Guarantee
We’re truly committed to helping families grow — that’s why we’ve built one of the most parent-friendly programs out there, inclusive of our Baby Guarantee.
While some agencies require you to pay extra to guarantee a set number of embryos, Cofertility’s Baby Guarantee is built into our fees upfront. That means from the second you place a hold on a match, you're covered by this guarantee, which states that if anything outside your control happens during the process that prevents you from bringing your baby home, we will re-match you for free, as many times as it takes.
What does this mean, exactly? If you match with a donor who doesn’t pass screening, we’ll rematch you. If the donor’s egg retrieval does not result in any mature eggs, we’ll rematch you. If no healthy embryos are created, we’ll rematch you. If no embryos result in a live birth, we’ll rematch you. In other words, we’re in this together, and we’re committed to helping your family grow.
How it works
We understand how daunting the process of looking for an egg donor can be. Our team works tirelessly to ensure that the process of finding your perfect match is as straightforward and as positive of an experience as possible. If you are interested in matching with a donor participating in our fresh egg donation program, here’s how the process works:
- Create a free account: Simply answer a few questions about what you’re looking for to get immediate access to our donor matching platform at no cost. From there, you’ll be able to view profiles for the hundreds of donors that are available to match with families like yours. All donors listed on our platform are available for fresh donation unless noted otherwise in the “About this donor” section of her profile.
- Find your match: When you find a donor with whom you’d like to match. Just press the “hold this match” button at the top of her profile. From there, you’ll be directed to pay your $500 match deposit, which will immediately remove the donor from the platform so no other intended parents can match with her while we confirm details with all parties.
At any time, you can also schedule a free consultation with a member of our team so that we can help you find your match.
- Mutual match confirmation: Shortly after you place a hold on a match, you’ll be assigned a dedicated Member Advocate who will be with you through the process end-to-end. Your Member Advocate will reach out to set up a kickoff call, during which you’ll go over the details of the process and confirm your match preferences. At the same time, the donor will go through the same process, to ensure a mutual match all around.
Additionally, if both parties are interested, we can facilitate a virtual or in-person meeting between you and your donor. This can be done on- or off- camera and with or without names revealed, in order to accommodate both disclosed and undisclosed matches.
- Donor screening and retrieval: Once the match is confirmed by you and the donor, we’ll get started on coordinating the donor’s in-person screening. This can be done either at your clinic (you’ll be responsible for paying for the donor’s travel expenses) or at a clinic local to the donor. Once all screening results are in and we receive approval from your doctor, you’ll work with an attorney who will draft a legal agreement between you and the donor. Once there’s legal clearance, the donor’s retrieval cycle will be scheduled.
- The split and embryo creation: On the day of the donor’s retrieval, the mature egg yield will be split evenly between both parties (if there is an odd number of mature eggs retrieved, you will receive the “extra” egg). The donor’s portion of the eggs retrieved will be immediately frozen and put into long term storage. Most intended parents choose to create embryos immediately upon retrieval, but you’ll also have the option to freeze unfertilized eggs, if preferred.
Post-embryo creation, what happens next is entirely up to you. Some intended parents opt to complete a fresh embryo transfer, while others may decide to freeze and store embryos for later use. Some intended parents choose to complete PGT on their embryos prior to implantation, while others may not. Some intended parents plan to carry the pregnancy themselves, while others are working with a gestational carrier. In any case, we’re passionate about creating an egg donation experience that is anything but transactional, and we are here to help make the process as seamless as possible — from embryo creation, to pregnancy, birth, and beyond.
Pricing
With a fresh cycle, you can expect to pay the match deposit, Cofertility’s Coordination Fee, and a range of expenses to various third parties involved in the process, including lawyers, genetic counselors, and your clinic. We break this down in more detail on our pricing page.
Conclusion
At Cofertility, we know there’s no one-size-fits-all approach to growing your family with donor eggs. We’re proud to offer our unique no-cash compensation egg sharing model for both fresh and frozen donation to give intended parents as many paths as possible to grow their families. To create a free account and get instant access to our donor matching platform, click here. We can’t wait to be part of your journey.
An Intended Parents Guide to Frozen Egg Donation with Cofertility
Everything you need to know about matching with a donor in Cofertility's frozen egg donation program, including the process, benefits, our frozen Baby Guarantee, and more.
At Cofertility, we believe that everyone deserves the ability to build the family of their dreams. Part of this is ensuring intended parents have access to different options for working with an egg donor, including both fresh and frozen egg donation programs. In this guide, we’ll walk you through everything you need to know about working with a donor in our frozen egg donation program.
If you’re interested in learning more about our options for fresh egg donation, click here.
An overview of frozen egg donation
Our unique egg sharing model provides intended parents with an alternative to cash compensation for egg donation. At Cofertility, our donors always go through a split cycle in which she keeps half of the eggs retrieved for her own future family planning and donates half to your family.
The key difference between fresh and frozen egg donation with Cofertility is the point at which the donor completes her screening and egg retrieval. The donor’s screening, and in some cases the screening and retrieval process, is completed in advance of matching.
Donors in the frozen egg donation program will undergo the same rigorous screening process as those in our fresh egg donation program. All donors have been pre-qualified to move forward with egg donation per ASRM, FDA, and standard egg donation guidelines. A preliminary screening for donors includes:
- Confirming the donor's age is within ASRM guidelines. All donors on our matching platform are 21-33 years old.
- Reviewing the donor’s personal medical history, including lifestyle, chronic conditions, mental health, and reproductive health, in line with ASRM, FDA, and standard egg donation guidelines.
- Reviewing the donor’s biological family’s medical history, inclusive of evidence of genetic disorders, cancer history, and other conditions and illnesses, in line with ASRM, FDA, and standard guidelines.
- Collecting and reviewing past egg donation history with outcomes, if applicable.
- AMH testing via blood draw. All Cofertility donors are required to have an AMH level of 2.0 or higher.
At the time a donor in our frozen egg donation program is listed on our platform, they will have also already completed or are in the process of completing additional screening that includes:
- Antral follicle count (AFC) assessment
- General health examination
- Genetic carrier screening
- Psychological screening
Considerations for frozen egg donation
Both fresh or frozen egg donation can be great options, depending on your individual goals and what you’re looking for at this point in time. There are several reasons intended parents may choose to pursue frozen egg donation with Cofertility.
Quicker process
Matching with a donor in our frozen program can provide a unique opportunity to move forward with your family-building plans faster, as frozen eggs can be fertilized or shipped to your clinic immediately or as soon as the cycle is complete. Time from match to cycle can be a lot faster with frozen since the screening – which is what takes the most time – is already completed. If you’re looking to transfer embryos ASAP, matching with a frozen donor can help make that happen.
Added certainty
Because a frozen donor has completed most or all of her medical screening in advance of matching, it brings a little more certainty to the process. With screening results in hand, you’ll have more certainty over whether a donor is the right fit for your family building goals from the outset which can help alleviate some of the speed bumps or heartaches that may come with a fresh donation journey. Every frozen match is also guaranteed to have a minimum of at least 6 frozen eggs.
Generous guarantee
The pricing model of the frozen program allows us to put our Baby Guarantee on the entire cost of the match. Whereas traditional egg banks may offer a blastocyst guarantee, we offer a live birth guarantee. If the frozen eggs that you receive do not lead to a live birth, we’ll replace those with an equivalent number of eggs for $0. You don’t have to pay for any screening or retrieval fees again.
Finding the right donor
Ultimately, the most important thing is that you feel great about the donor who you match with. If you’re open to either journey, it might just be a question of finding the right donor and then accommodating whichever program she’s in.
Our Baby Guarantee
We’re truly committed to helping families grow — that’s why we’ve built one of the most parent-friendly programs out there, inclusive of our Baby Guarantee.
As highlighted above, Cofertility’s signature Baby Guarantee goes above and beyond what traditional egg banks offer. If, for any reason outside your control, the frozen eggs that you receive do not lead to a live birth, we’ll rematch you with a new donor for $0. That means all of the medical expenses of the second cycle are covered and the only costs you’d need to pay are the additional shipping and fertilization expenses at the clinic.
If you rematch with a donor who has more frozen eggs available, you will be responsible for covering the difference in cost.
How it works
We understand how daunting the process of looking for an egg donor can be. Our team works tirelessly to ensure that the process of finding your perfect match is as straightforward and as positive of an experience as possible. If you are interested in matching with a donor participating in our frozen egg donation program, here’s how the process works:
- Create a free account: Simply answer a few questions about what you’re looking for to get immediate access to our donor matching platform. From there, you’ll be able to view profiles for the hundreds of donors that are available to match with families like yours.
Donors participating in our frozen program will have a note in the “About this donor” section of their profile.
- Find your match: When you find a donor with whom you’d like to match. Just press the “hold this match” button at the top of her profile. From there, you’ll be directed to pay your $500 match deposit, which will immediately remove the donor from the platform so no other intended parents can match with her while we confirm details with all parties.
At any time, you can also schedule a free consultation with a member of our team so that we can help you find your match.
- Match kickoff: Shortly after you place a hold on a match, you’ll be assigned a dedicated Member Advocate you will be with you through the process end-to-end. Your Member Advocate will reach out to set up a kickoff call, during which you’ll go over the details of the process and confirm your match preferences.
- Donor screening and retrieval: When you match with a donor in our frozen egg donation program, the donor’s screening and retrieval is either complete or well underway.
- The split and embryo creation: On the day of the donor’s retrieval, the mature egg yield is split into two even cohorts (if there is an odd number of eggs retrieved, the “extra” egg will be in the donated half). Both the eggs that the donor keeps and the ones that she donates will be immediately frozen and stored. The donated portion of the eggs will be stored at our clinic partner where the retrieval is done and can be shipped to your clinic or thawed and fertilized on site.
The number of eggs that you receive will vary based on the donor’s cycle outcomes and the total cost of each match varies based on the number of frozen eggs included. Some donors in our frozen egg donation program will have already cycled and the outcomes will be known, while others may not have completed their cycle just yet and there will be some uncertainty around the number of eggs that she’ll retrieve. If you match with a donor who hasn't completed her cycle yet and she retrieves a number of eggs that's not in line with your family building goals, you can put the funds paid towards another match in the frozen program.
What happens next is entirely up to you. You can ship frozen eggs to your clinic, where they’ll be thawed and fertilized. You can also work with the clinic where the retrieval took place, thawing the eggs and creating embryos onsite. Some intended parents choose to complete PGT testing on their embryos prior to implantation, while others may not. Some intended parents plan to carry the pregnancy themselves, while others are working with a gestational carrier. In any case, we’re passionate about creating an egg donation experience that is anything but transactional, and we are here to help make the process as seamless as possible — from embryo creation, to pregnancy, birth, and beyond.
Pricing
With the frozen program, you’ll pay a single lump sum fee that covers all of the costs involved in the donor’s retrieval cycle. This includes:
- Cofertility’s Coordination Fee
- All expenses associated the donor’s screening
- All expenses associated with the donor’s medication and retrieval
The number of eggs that you receive will vary based on the donor's cycle outcomes and the total cost of the match varies based on the number of frozen eggs included. The full cost breakdown can be found on our pricing page.
Conclusion
At Cofertility, we know there’s no one-size-fits-all approach to growing your family with donor eggs. We’re proud to offer our unique no-cash compensation egg sharing model for both fresh and frozen donation to give intended parents as many paths as possible to grow their families. To create a free account and get instant access to our donor matching platform, click here. We can’t wait to be part of your journey.
What the Recent Supreme Court Ruling in Alabama Means For Donor Egg IVF
Understand the far-reaching effects of the recent Alabama Supreme Court ruling on donor egg IVF. Learn about the legal ramifications, implications for fertility care, and discover resources available to those affected.
This article was last updated on March 1, 2024. The Alabama Supreme Court ruling is a quickly unfolding situation. Be sure to consult official news sources or legal experts for the most up-to-date information and guidance.
On February 16th, 2024, the Alabama Supreme Court ruled that frozen embryos can be considered children under state law, a ruling that sent shockwaves through the reproductive health community and raised widespread concerns regarding its potential impact on fertility care. Several of the state’s in vitro fertilization (IVF) clinics have since paused services, and lawmakers, doctors, and patients are raising concerns about the far-ranging impacts of the ruling on healthcare and reproductive technology.
While there’s still a great degree of uncertainty, in this article, we'll delve deeper into the implications of this significant legal shift, exploring how it specifically impacts donor egg IVF procedures. Additionally, we'll explore what resources may be available to those affected by this ruling and provide insights on how you can engage in advocacy efforts to address these challenges.
What is the Alabama court case about?
The recent ruling by the Alabama Supreme Court was the result of a lawsuit filed by three couples who underwent IVF treatment at a fertility clinic in Alabama. Following successful IVF procedures that resulted in the birth of healthy babies, the couples, like many undergoing such treatments, had additional embryos preserved by the clinic which was located inside of a hospital.
However, in December 2020, a patient at the hospital gained unauthorized access to the fertility clinic's cryo-preservation unit and mishandled the frozen embryos, resulting in their destruction. This tragic incident led the plaintiffs to file lawsuits against both the fertility clinic and the hospital where it was located.
One of the lawsuits centered around the application of Alabama's Wrongful Death of a Minor Act. Initially dismissed by the trial court, which ruled that embryos in vitro did not qualify as minors under the act, the case was escalated to the Supreme Court of Alabama. The Alabama Supreme Court diverged from the trial court's stance. They asserted that the Wrongful Death of a Minor Act applied to all unborn children, regardless of their location—in utero or in vitro—at the time of the incident. By deeming the in vitro embryos as persons under the law, the court allowed the couples to proceed with their lawsuit, seeking punitive damages for what they perceived as the wrongful death of their children.
What are the implications for Alabama fertility patients?
The recent ruling by the Alabama Supreme Court does not explicitly impose any bans or restrictions on IVF procedures. However, legal experts suggest – and we’re already seeing in practice – that the decision may create confusion regarding the legality of certain aspects of IVF within Alabama.
For context, data from the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention indicates that approximately 2% of babies in the United States are conceived using assisted reproductive technology. Among the various treatments available, IVF stands out as the most commonly utilized method. IVF is a complex procedure that begins with a stimulated cycle wherein a woman undergoes hormone injections to prompt her ovaries to produce numerous eggs. These eggs are then harvested and united with sperm, giving rise to embryos that undergo incubation for development.
After a few days, the embryos undergo assessment, with only the most viable ones selected for transfer into the woman's uterus. The goal is for the transferred embryo to implant successfully, leading to a healthy pregnancy and ultimately the birth of a child. Any surplus high-quality embryos from the stimulated cycle are typically cryopreserved for potential future use. Not all harvested eggs are suitable for fertilization and not all embryos may be deemed suitable for transfer. Subpar-quality eggs, abnormally fertilized embryos, and embryos displaying poor quality are routinely discarded as part of the process.
The crux of the matter in the recent ruling lies in the classification of embryos as persons under Alabama law. This designation has already raised significant questions regarding the permissible usage and storage of embryos by fertility clinics. In essence, the interpretation of Alabama law equates the legal protection of frozen embryos to that of living children. Under this interpretation, individuals who inadvertently or intentionally destroy a frozen embryo in Alabama could potentially face severe penalties, including manslaughter or murder charges.
This ruling has the potential to significantly disrupt access to fertility care as it may introduce additional regulatory burdens in an already complex medical landscape and could potentially drive up procedural costs. Although the extreme of the financial implications remains unclear, factors such as additional storage fees and liability expenses may further contribute to the rise in expenses.
On top of existing clinics closing, the ruling might lead to a reduction in IVF providers in the state. Even if clinics reopen, fertility doctors may be hesitant to practice in or relocate to Alabama. In light of the perceived risks tied to freezing or destroying embryos within this legal framework, fertility clinics across the state are already proceeding with caution, opting to restrict their IVF services, including retrievals and cryopreservation. Consequently, patients are already finding themselves compelled to seek treatment outside of Alabama, a situation that might intensify if clinics can’t get back to operating at full capacity.
How does this affect donor egg IVF?
Egg donation itself is not in as much legal limbo as eggs are not considered fetuses under current law. However, given the end goal of fertilizing and transferring the donor eggs, the ruling of course affects the donor egg IVF process.
Donor egg IVF encompasses several stages, including egg retrieval, fertilization, and subsequent embryo transfer to the intended parent's or surrogate's uterus. This ruling may necessitate procedural changes in IVF, potentially influencing the number of embryos created and transferred per cycle. Moreover, frozen embryo transfers are commonly utilized in donor egg IVF for preimplantation genetic screening. The ruling could introduce additional regulations or restrictions on the use of frozen embryos.
Many individuals and couples pursuing donor egg IVF have already been through lengthy, challenging, and expensive fertility journeys. This is particularly true for LGBTQIA+ individuals and couples who often depend on donor egg IVF to grow their families. In short, the Alabama Supreme Court only introduces more complexity and potential hardship to a landscape that’s already fraught with challenges. Regardless of where someone is in this family-building journey, this ruling has the potential to alter their trajectory.
What resources are available to those impacted and how can I get involved?
In response to these challenges, several organizations have stepped up to support individuals and families in Alabama.
Cofertility's storage partner, TMRW Life Sciences, is offering one year of free cryostorage for frozen eggs and embryos to patients who live in Alabama and who wish to move their embryos to TMRW’s biorepository in NYC.
Conceive is offering a free one-month membership to Conceive Premium for anyone in Alabama. Conceive Premium provides invaluable assistance and guidance throughout your fertility journey by offering 24/7 support from fertility nurses, peer coaching, community forums, and more.
Furthermore, there are various ways individuals can get involved with advocacy efforts aimed at supporting Alabama families and protecting IVF access across the country. You can show your support for organizations that fight to uphold reproductive rights and ensure equitable access to fertility treatments like the American Society for Reproductive Medicine (ASRM) and RESOLVE, the National Infertility Association. To stay in the loop, sign up for alerts from RESOLVE’s Advocacy Network and follow @resolveorg on Instagram.
Sharing personal stories through public channels like social media can help raise awareness and amplify the voices of those affected. You can also use easily-accessible, online forms to send a letter to Congress and encourage them to address the issue. Lastly, local support groups, such as RESOLVE peer-led support groups in Alabama, provide a supportive environment for individuals to connect with others facing similar challenges.
Cofertility’s position
We at Cofertility are deeply concerned about the recent verdict and have been monitoring the situation closely. Our team is diligently tracking developments and working with our legal and professional advisors in order to navigate any potential implications side by side with our members. We understand the importance of safeguarding the rights and interests of donors and intended parents alike.
We believe the decision to seek medical support in family planning is profoundly personal and should be guided solely by patients and their healthcare providers. We believe that access to safe and effective medical care should be available to all individuals on their journey to parenthood, regardless of their location.
As a proactive measure until the law becomes clearer, we are temporarily suspending the facilitation of retrievals in Alabama where legislative uncertainty or restrictions pose potential risks to our members. We are also actively engaging with any intended parents in Alabama to assess their specific situations and explore potential paths forward. We’re focused on providing these members of our community with comprehensive support and guidance as they navigate these challenging times. If you are a Cofertility member and have any questions, concerns, or would like to get in contact with our team to talk through the specifics of your situation and how we may be able to help, please don’t hesitate to reach out.
Does Using Donor Eggs Decrease the Risk for Miscarriage?
Infertility can be a challenging journey, especially when miscarriage happens. For those who have experienced pregnancy loss or failed IVF, your doctor may have brought up the use of donor eggs.
Infertility can be a challenging journey, especially when miscarriage happens. For those who have experienced pregnancy loss or failed IVF, your doctor may have brought up the use of donor eggs. Egg donation is when a woman who is medically cleared donates her eggs to be used by another woman (or gestational carrier) who cannot conceive with her own eggs. You may be wondering whether donor eggs can decrease the risk of miscarriage and increase your chances of bringing home a healthy baby. In this article, we’ll lay it all out.
Why do miscarriages happen in the first place?
Miscarriage, also known as pregnancy loss, is a devastating experience. It occurs when a pregnancy ends on its own before the 20th week of gestation. Miscarriage can happen to anyone, and it's estimated that up to 20% of pregnancies end in miscarriage. When a family suffers two or more pregnancy losses, it is called recurrent miscarriage.
There are many reasons why miscarriage can occur, and in most cases, it's difficult to pinpoint a specific cause. Here are some common reasons why miscarriage happens:
- Chromosomal abnormalities: The most common cause of miscarriage is chromosomal abnormalities. This means that the fetus has an abnormal number of chromosomes or a structural problem with a chromosome. These abnormalities are usually random events and not related to anything the parents did or did not do.
- Infections: Infections during pregnancy can cause miscarriage, especially if left untreated. Infections such as rubella, cytomegalovirus (CMV), and toxoplasmosis can be harmful to a developing fetus.
- Structural issues: Structural issues with the uterus or cervix can lead to miscarriage. For example, if the cervix is weak or incompetent, it may not be able to support the weight of the growing fetus, leading to premature delivery or miscarriage. Uterine anomalies, such as a uterine septum, can also increase the risk of miscarriage.
- Autoimmune problems: An overactive autoimmune system can mistake the fetus as a foreign object and attack it, causing miscarriage.
- Lifestyle factors: Certain lifestyle factors can increase the risk of miscarriage. These include smoking, alcohol use, and drug abuse.
Unfortunately in most cases, the exact cause of miscarriage is unknown, and it's not always possible to prevent it from happening. Read more about the common causes of miscarriage.
What is the risk of miscarriage with donor eggs?
The short answer is that using donor eggs decreases the risk of miscarriage for most women. Especially when those miscarriages were due to chromosomal abnormalities. Because egg donors are young (under 33) and medically cleared, outcomes with donor eggs are better than outcomes with a patient’s own eggs.
Women who use donor eggs tend to be older, and age is a significant factor in miscarriage risk. As women age, the quality of their eggs decreases, and the risk of chromosomal abnormalities increases, which can lead to miscarriage. By using younger, healthier eggs from a donor, the risk of chromosomal abnormalities is significantly reduced.
Furthermore, the donor egg IVF process involves extensive screening of the donor to ensure that she is in good health and has a low risk of genetic disorders. This can further reduce the risk of miscarriage, as genetic disorders can be a significant contributor to pregnancy loss.
What does the research say?
There is a paucity of research on donor eggs. But one 1997 study of 418 embryo transfer cycles among 276 egg donor recipients at one clinic found that:
- 36.2% got pregnant on the first try with donor eggs, and 29.3% had a live birth
- 87.9% got pregnant within four cycles and 86.1% had a live birth
This data did not differ for women of various ages of diagnoses. Another study from 1998 found that the miscarriage rate for donor eggs was 7.2% for women under 45 and 16.1% for women 45-50.
However, because these studies were 25+ years ago, and each included outcomes data from a single clinic, we can take it with a grain of salt. We’ve had incredible progress in fertility treatments over the last 25 years, including ICSI and PGT testing, and one would hope for even better outcomes today.
Why do donor eggs miscarry?
Donor eggs miscarry for some of the same reasons any pregnancy ends in loss. There could be implantation issues, or issues with the lining of the uterus or other factors that make implantation more difficult, increasing the risk of miscarriage. Or there could be other health issues such as hormonal imbalances, autoimmune problems, or structural problems like fibroids. Of course, there’s also just chance / luck which is sometimes not on our side.
While donor eggs can reduce the risk of certain fertility-related issues, it does not eliminate the risk of miscarriage entirely. Miscarriages are common, and it's important to work with your doctor to understand the potential risks and to receive appropriate care throughout the pregnancy.
How to reduce the risk of miscarriage with donor eggs
We recommend adopting a relaxed lifestyle and moderating physical activity after an embryo transfer. The most important factor in predicting successful implantation is the quality of the embryo and the optimal hormone environment in the uterus. After the transfer, the most important thing you can do is to take your medications as prescribed. You can rest assure that no other external factors will impact the outcome of your cycle (ie. high stress, specific foods, bumping your abdomen against a hard surface). If you have any problems with the injections, let your clinical team know as soon as possible.
Are donor egg pregnancies high risk?
Donor egg pregnancies may be higher risk, but more research is needed. One meta-analysis of 11 studies found:
- The risk of developing hypertensive disorders is nearly 4X higher for donor egg pregnancies
- The risk of having a cesarean section is 2.71X higher for donor egg pregnancies
- Preterm delivery is 1.34X more likely with donor egg pregnancies
Another study from Columbia University found that age doesn’t impact risk of complications, and that both older and younger women had similar rates of gestational hypertension, diabetes, cesarean delivery, and premature birth. When undergoing IVF, your doctor will give you an idea of your specific health risks and how to help reduce the risk of complications.
What is the success rate of IVF with donor eggs?
Here’s some good news: donor eggs can drastically increase your chances of success! Around 53 percent of all donor egg cycles will result in at least one live birth. This percentage varies depending on the egg donor, recipient body mass index, stage of embryo at transfer, the number of oocytes retrieved, and the quality of the clinic.
At every age, the chances of birth with donor eggs is better, but those who benefit the most from donor eggs are women over 35 and those with low ovarian reserve. In fact, about one-quarter of women over 40 who succeeded with IVF did so through the use of donor eggs.
At Cofertility, for those who match with a donor in our fresh egg donation program, the average number of mature eggs a family receives and fertilizes is 12. The number of eggs retrieved varies by patient and cycle, but can be predicted by a donor’s age, AMH, and antral follicle count, all of which will be known to you after the donor’s initial screening. Qualified candidates have an ample ovarian reserve for both their own needs and sharing. Egg share donors also often work closely with a fertility doctor to determine, based on their own medical history, the optimal number of eggs needed for their own future family-building goals. Should it make sense for the donor, they may choose to pursue a second egg-sharing cycle to maximize the chances of success for everyone.
Matching with a donor in our frozen program can provide the opportunity to move forward with your family-building plans faster, as frozen eggs can be fertilized or shipped to your clinic immediately or as soon as the cycle is complete. Donors undergoing frozen cycles complete equally rigorous ovarian reserve testing. While the total number of frozen eggs available will vary based on the donor’s retrieval outcomes, every frozen match is guaranteed to have a minimum of at least 6 frozen eggs.
To learn more about these programs and the differences between them, click here.
Ready to move forward with donor eggs? We can help!
Cofertility is a human-first fertility ecosystem rewriting the egg freezing and egg donation experience. Our Family by Co platform serves as a more transparent, ethical egg donor matching platform. We are obsessed with improving the family-building journey — today or in the future — and are in an endless pursuit to make these experiences more positive. Create a free account today!
A Comprehensive Guide to Egg Sharing IVF
Egg sharing programs exist worldwide to help make fertility care more accessible. Egg sharing generally describes when a donor undergoes an egg retrieval, and the resulting eggs are split between the donor and the intended parent(s). The family receiving the donor eggs pays for the egg retrieval and all associated expenses.
Egg sharing programs exist worldwide to help make fertility care more accessible. Egg sharing generally describes when a donor undergoes an egg retrieval, and the resulting eggs are split between the donor and the intended parent(s). The family receiving the donor eggs pays for the egg retrieval and all associated expenses.
In Cofertility’s Split program, donors can freeze their eggs for free when they donate half of the retrieved eggs to a family who can’t otherwise conceive. Families pursuing egg donation to build their family can match with an egg donor on our Family by Co platform.
Egg sharing programs provide an opportunity for egg donors to contribute to the fertility journey of others while also receiving a benefit for their own future family planning. In this guide, we will explore the concept of egg sharing and all the relevant information you need to know.
What is egg donation sharing?
Egg donation sharing is a process when an egg donor agrees to donate half of her retrieved eggs to another couple or individual undergoing IVF. In traditional egg donation, the donor's eggs are exclusively given to the intended parents. However, in egg sharing, the donor has the opportunity to use some of the eggs retrieved for her own future family planning.
Egg sharing IVF
Egg sharing IVF is similar to traditional IVF in that the retrieved eggs are fertilized in a lab with the partner's or donor sperm, and then transferred to the intended mother's uterus. In egg sharing IVF, the donor's half of the retrieved eggs will be used for the intended parents, and the other half will be reserved for the donor's own use. Sometimes donors keep their eggs frozen for years, and other times they have them immediately fertilized and turned into embryos.
Egg sharing pros and cons
Pro: more affordable
One of the biggest advantages of egg sharing is that it allows for more affordable access to IVF for intended parents. Additionally, egg sharing can be a good option for egg donors who want to help others and also want to have the option to use some of their eggs for their own family planning in the future.
Pro: less icky
Our unique model empowers women to take control of their own reproductive health while giving you the gift of a lifetime. Our donors aren’t doing it for cash – they keep half the eggs retrieved for their own future use, and donate half to your family.
Why is cash compensation problematic? A 2021 Harvard study found that 62% of donor-conceived adults felt the exchange of money for donor gametes was wrong, and 41% were troubled by the fact that money was exchanged around their conception. By allowing our donors to freeze their eggs as part of the process, our unique model honors everyone involved.
Pro: better for everyone involved
Our model empowers donors to preserve their own fertility, while lifting you up on your own journey. It’s a win-win.
Con: there are still risks
Egg freezing is considered a safe procedure. In a single egg freezing cycle, the risk of a serious adverse event is under 2.5%. Severe OHSS accounts for the majority of complications, occuring in 0.1-2% of cycles. The risk of other acute complications, including pelvic infection, intraperitoneal hemorrhage, or ovarian torsion, is small (<0.5%).
That being said, many women do experience minor side effects – like bloating, constipation, nausea – from the medications and egg retrieval.
Egg sharing criteria
Our team screens donors through a rigorous, multi-step process to ensure each person is qualified and prepared to become an egg donor, going above and beyond FDA and ASRM-recommended screening guidelines. Before donors can be listed on our platform, we review their personal and family medical history and collect information on their lifestyle and behavioral habits. Most importantly, we meet 1:1 with every donor to get at the core of who she is as a person — her values, her goals, her personality. This allows us to provide you with the most thoughtful match possible.
Once you move forward with a match, the donor will undergo a physical examination, psychological evaluation, and full genetic screen. Your doctor will review these results and give us the green light to move forward. We will also ensure that donors are screened for background and education checks.
What are the costs of egg sharing?
The cost of egg sharing can vary based on whether you opt for a fresh or frozen donation cycle as well as other factors like the fertility clinic or donor's location. Unlike traditional egg donation, donors in egg sharing programs do not receive cash compensation, which can reduce your overall expenses.
For a more detailed breakdown of Cofertility's pricing, including estimates, you can visit our pricing page. All of our pricing also includes our Baby Guarantee, our promise that if for any reason outside your control your initial match does not lead to a live birth, we’ll re-match you for free until that happens.
What the data says about egg sharing
There is limited data on the success rates of egg sharing compared to traditional egg donation. However, some studies have suggested that egg sharing may result in higher success rates because the donor's eggs are being used in her own treatment cycle, meaning she may be more invested in the outcome.
This study of 276 egg-sharing cycles concluded that egg sharing “provides a good opportunity for recipients and egg-sharing donors to achieve a live birth”. Specifically, the study found that by sharing (donating) their eggs with another family, the egg sharers did not reduce their chances of pregnancy and live birth.
“Those patients participating in an egg-sharing programme are providing a valuable resource of donor eggs,” the authors noted, “while not compromising their own treatment outcome or putting themselves at any additional risk of complications”.
At Cofertility, the average number of mature eggs a family receives and fertilizes is 12. Some intended parents want to do two egg retrievals with the donor which is definitely possible. We also ask each of our donors whether they are open to a second cycle as part of the initial application — many report that they are!
You can see how many eggs are retrieved in the first cycle and go from there. If, for any reason, the eggs retrieved in that round do not lead to a live birth, our baby guarantee will kick in and we’ll re-match you at no additional match deposit or Cofertility coordination fee.
Will I regret egg sharing?
Egg donors
While some egg donors report feeling a sense of pride and fulfillment from helping others build their families, others may experience feelings of regret or sadness. We have found that people who donate their eggs as part of an egg sharing program are less likely to feel regret.
In fact, egg share donors usually feel that egg sharing was a win-win solution for donors and recipients alike. One study found egg share donors are happy with their decision, and 83.3% would donate again. Only 2.1% regretted their decision to participate.
Donor egg recipients
Ask anyone who has had a child, born with or without some type of assistance, and they will all tell you the same thing: parenting is the greatest - yet hardest - thing they have ever done. It doesn’t matter how the child came into their lives, the role and relationship of parent and child is the same.
When working with parents who had donor conceived children, we have found their only real regret was they wished they had done this sooner. They wished they had let go of their preconceived notions that a baby who looks like them or who shares their genes is the only way to be a parent. That bringing a child into their lives using alternative methods means the child won’t see them as their real parent, or that they will not bond.
Egg sharing programs near me
We work with families and egg donors around the world! Cofertility is unique in that we are clinic-agnostic, as long as the clinic reports outcomes to SART and has a CAP certified lab. Some clinics have specific requirements related to working with outside donors and have policies in place for how they handle those cases. If you already have a clinic in mind, reach out to our team and we can send a list of questions that we recommend you ask them before getting started.
Best egg sharing program
We aim to be the best egg-sharing program, providing an experience that honors, respects, and uplifts everyone involved. Here’s what sets us apart:
- Human-centered. We didn’t like the status quo in egg donation. So we’re doing things differently, starting with our human-centered matching platform.
- Donor empowerment. Our model empowers donors to preserve their own fertility, while lifting you up on your own journey. It’s a win-win.
- Diversity: We’re proud of the fact that the donors on our platform are as diverse as the intended parents seeking to match with them. We work with intended parents to understand their own cultural values — including regional nuances — in hopes of finding them the perfect match.
- Baby guarantee. We truly want to help you bring your baby home, and we will re-match you for free until that happens.
- Lifetime support: Historically, other egg donation options have treated egg donor matching as a one-and-done experience. Beyond matching, beyond a pregnancy, beyond a birth…we believe in supporting the donor-conceived family for life. Our resources and education provide intended parents with the guidance they need to raise happy, healthy kids and celebrate their origin stories.
We are obsessed with improving the family-building journey — today or in the future — and are in an endless pursuit to make these experiences more positive. Create a free account to get started today!
IVF after 40: Should I Use My Own Eggs or Donor Eggs?
For women who are in their 40s and considering IVF, a common question arises: should I use my own eggs or donor eggs? In this article, we’ll review valuable insights and information to help you make an informed decision on your IVF journey.
In recent years, advancements in reproductive technologies have given hope to many individuals and couples struggling with infertility. In vitro fertilization (IVF) in particular has enabled more people to become parents and grow their families. Some estimate that there have been over eight million babies born via IVF (including my own!). And 1 in 8 IVF cycles are estimated to involve eggs retrieved from a donor.
For women who are in their 40s and considering IVF, a common question arises: should I use my own eggs or donor eggs? In this article, we’ll review valuable insights and information to help you make an informed decision on your IVF journey.
How successful is IVF with your own eggs at 40?
Unfortunately, as we age our fertility naturally declines, and this decline becomes more significant after the age of 35. By the age of 40, a woman's ovarian reserve (the number and quality of eggs she has) is often diminished. Consequently, the success rates of IVF using a woman's own eggs decrease with age.
According to the Center for Disease Control (CDC) Assisted Reproductive Technology (ART) data, the live birth rate per IVF cycle for women over 40, using their own eggs, is 7.6%. This means that out of every 100 IVF cycles, only 7-8 result in a live birth.
While age plays a huge role in your chances of success, there are other factors that influence IVF outcomes including overall health, previous pregnancies, sperm health, the quality of the clinic, and the quality of the embryos. It is important to have realistic expectations when considering IVF with one's own eggs at the age of 40. A fertility doctor should be able to give you an idea of your chances of success with a proper fertility evaluation.
Should I try IVF with my own eggs or go straight to donor eggs?
Deciding whether to try IVF with your own eggs or proceed directly to donor eggs is a deeply personal and complex choice. Several factors should be taken into consideration, including your age, ovarian reserve, overall health, previous fertility history, and emotional readiness.
For those in their early 40s with a good ovarian reserve and no underlying fertility issues, attempting IVF with your own eggs may be a reasonable option. A fertility doctor can evaluate your specific circumstances and provide guidance based on their expertise.
On the other hand, some people want the fastest and most likely path to a healthy pregnancy and healthy baby. Especially if your journey has already been long, hard, and expensive, the decision to use donor eggs may bring renewed hope.
If your ovarian reserve is significantly diminished, or if previous attempts at IVF have been unsuccessful, using donor eggs may offer a higher chance of success. Donor eggs come from egg donors who have passed rigorous screening including ovarian reserve, reproductive health, general health, and genetics. This can increase the chances of achieving a successful pregnancy and live birth.
What is the success rate of IVF with donor eggs?
Donor egg IVF has the highest success rate of any fertility treatment. This means that donor eggs can drastically increase your chances of success! Around 53 percent of all donor egg cycles will result in at least one live birth. This percentage varies depending on the egg donor, recipient body mass index, stage of embryo at transfer, the number of oocytes retrieved, and the quality of the clinic.
At every age, the chances of birth with donor eggs is better, but those who benefit the most from donor eggs are women over 35 and those with low ovarian reserve. In fact, about one-quarter of women over 40 who succeeded with IVF did so through the use of donor eggs.
The chart was made using the SART Patient Predictor for an average woman (5’4”, 150 lbs) with diminished ovarian reserve. As you can see, the chances of live birth after one donor egg cycle is 54% for recipients under 40, and only goes down slightly after this.
What is the risk of miscarriage with donor eggs?
The short answer is that using donor eggs decreases the risk of miscarriage for most women. Especially for those who experienced previous miscarriages due to chromosomal abnormalities. Because egg donors are young (under 33) and medically cleared, outcomes with donor eggs are better than outcomes with a patient’s own eggs.
Age is a significant factor in miscarriage risk. As women age, the quality of their eggs decreases, and the risk of chromosomal abnormalities increases, which can lead to miscarriage. By using younger, healthier eggs from a donor, the risk of chromosomal abnormalities is significantly reduced.
Furthermore, the donor egg IVF process involves extensive screening of the donor to ensure that she is in good health and has a low risk of genetic disorders. This can further reduce the risk of miscarriage, as genetic disorders can be a significant contributor to pregnancy loss.
Pros and cons of using donor eggs vs. your own eggs
Let’s go over some of the advantages and disadvantages of using donor eggs for IVF.
The pros of using donor eggs include:
- Better egg quality: Eggs from donors tend to have better genetic quality, potentially reducing the risk of chromosomal abnormalities and genetic disorders.
- More embryos: A medically cleared egg donor is likely to lead to more embryos, often giving families more options, including gender selection.
- Increased success rates: Donor eggs come from young (under 33), healthy donors, which can improve the chances of successful fertilization, implantation, and pregnancy – getting a baby in your arms sooner.
The challenges of using donor eggs include:
- Emotional considerations: Using donor eggs may bring up complex emotional issues, such as feelings of loss, grief, or concerns about genetic connections. It is important to seek counseling or support to address these emotions.
- Financial costs: Using donor eggs adds an additional expense to the IVF process.
Find an amazing egg donor at Cofertility
At Cofertility, our program is unique. After meeting with hundreds of intended parents, egg donors, and donor-conceived people, we decided on an egg donation model that we think best serves everyone involved: egg sharing. We didn’t invent the concept of egg sharing, but we are the first to take it national (and even global!).
Here’s how it works: our unique model empowers women to take control of their own reproductive health while giving you the gift of a lifetime. Our donors aren’t doing it for cash – they keep half the eggs retrieved for their own future use, and donate half to your family.
We aim to be the best egg sharing program, providing an experience that honors, respects, and uplifts everyone involved. Here’s what sets us apart:
- Baby guarantee. We truly want to help you bring your baby home, and we will re-match you for free until that happens.
- Donor empowerment. Our model empowers donors to preserve their own fertility, while lifting you up on your own journey. It’s a win-win.
- Diversity: We’re proud about the fact that the donors on our platform are as diverse as the intended parents seeking to match with them. We work with intended parents to understand their own cultural values — including regional nuances — in hopes of finding them the perfect match.
- Human-centered. We didn’t like the status quo in egg donation. So we’re doing things differently, starting with our human-centered matching platform.
- Lifetime support: Historically, other egg donation options have treated egg donor matching as a one-and-done experience. Beyond matching, beyond a pregnancy, beyond a birth…we believe in supporting the donor-conceived family for life. Our resources and education provide intended parents with the guidance they need to raise happy, healthy kids and celebrate their origin stories.
For those who match with a donor in our fresh egg donation program, the average number of mature eggs a family receives and fertilizes is 12. The number of eggs retrieved varies by patient and cycle, but can be predicted by a donor’s age, AMH, and antral follicle count, all of which will be known to you after the donor’s initial screening. Qualified candidates have an ample ovarian reserve for both their own needs and sharing. Egg share donors also often work closely with a fertility doctor to determine, based on their own medical history, the optimal number of eggs needed for their own future family-building goals. Should it make sense for the donor, they may choose to pursue a second egg-sharing cycle to maximize the chances of success for everyone.
Matching with a donor in our frozen program can provide the opportunity to move forward with your family-building plans faster, as frozen eggs can be fertilized or shipped to your clinic immediately or as soon as the cycle is complete. Donors undergoing frozen cycles complete equally rigorous ovarian reserve testing. While the total number of frozen eggs available will vary based on the donor’s retrieval outcomes, every frozen match is guaranteed to have a minimum of at least 6 frozen eggs.
To learn more about these programs and the differences between them, click here.
We are obsessed with improving the family-building journey — today or in the future — and are in an endless pursuit to make these experiences more positive. Create a free account to get started today!
How much do donor eggs cost?
The cost of egg sharing can vary based on whether you opt for a fresh or frozen donation cycle as well as other factors like the fertility clinic or donor's location. Unlike traditional egg donation, donors in egg sharing programs do not receive cash compensation, which can reduce your overall expenses.
For a more detailed breakdown of Cofertility's pricing, including estimates, you can visit our pricing page. All of our pricing also includes our Baby Guarantee, our promise that if for any reason outside your control your initial match does not lead to a live birth, we’ll re-match you for free until that happens.
Summing it up
While IVF with one's own eggs can still offer a chance of success after 40, the use of donor eggs can significantly increase the chances of achieving a successful pregnancy and live birth.
Deciding between using your own eggs or donor eggs for IVF is a deeply personal choice that may be weighing on you. If you are hesitating to use donor eggs, we highly recommend connecting with a parent or support group of others who have walked down this path. We have never met a parent through egg donation who has regretted their decision. A fertility psychologist who has experience in this area can also provide guidance.
Ultimately, the goal is to make an informed choice that aligns with your desires, values, and the best chances of achieving a healthy pregnancy and fulfilling parenthood. Wherever you land, we wish you all the best.
Read more:
Egg Sharing: Will I Get Enough Eggs?
In this article, we’ll aim to answer that question by exploring the concept of egg sharing, discussing factors that contribute to egg yield, looking at the average number of embryos created, and share how Cofertility can help you realize your dream of growing your family.
Egg sharing programs have become an increasingly popular option for families pursuing donor egg IVF. But if you only get half of the eggs retrieved, will that be enough for a baby?
In this article, we’ll aim to answer that question by exploring the concept of egg sharing, discussing factors that contribute to egg yield, looking at the average number of embryos created, and share how Cofertility can help you realize your dream of growing your family.
What is egg sharing?
Egg sharing is a model where egg donors get to keep half of the eggs retrieved for her own future use, instead of cash compensation.
Why is cash compensation problematic? A 2021 Harvard study found that 62% of donor-conceived adults felt the exchange of money for donor gametes was wrong, and 41% were troubled by the fact that money was exchanged around their conception. By allowing our donors to freeze their eggs as part of the process, our unique model honors everyone involved.
At Cofertility, we exclusively work under the egg sharing model, which we call Split, because we think it’s better for everyone involved – the intended parents, the egg donor, and ultimately the donor-conceived child. Egg sharing empowers donors to preserve their own fertility, while lifting you up on your own journey. It’s a win-win.
Read more in Six Reasons Why Egg Sharing is a Better Egg Donation Model for Intended Parents
Will I get enough eggs in an egg sharing model?
One common question from individuals considering egg sharing is whether they will receive an adequate number of eggs to achieve a successful outcome. A 2003 UK study of egg sharing amongst IVF patients found that participating in an egg sharing program did not compromise the chance of achieving a pregnancy or live birth for the egg sharer or the recipient.
There are several factors that can influence the number and quality of eggs retrieved, such as:
- Donor's ovarian reserve: Even more important than age in predicting egg retrieval outcomes is ovarian reserve, which refers to the quantity of eggs. A higher ovarian reserve indicates a larger pool of eggs available for retrieval and sharing. One way to determine ovarian reserve is an antral follicle count that is done by a doctor. Another biomarker for ovarian reserve is anti-müllerian hormone (AMH). At Cofertility, we only work with egg donors with an AMH over 2.0 ng/mL, to increase the chances of sufficient egg yield.
- Donor’s overall health: The overall health of the egg donor can play a significant role in the number of eggs available for sharing. Donors who maintain a healthy lifestyle, including being a non-smoker, have better reproductive health. Our donors go through rigorous screening to ensure and get medical approval to ensure they are a good egg donation candidate.
- Response to stimulation protocols: Fertility clinics use stimulation protocols involving hormonal medications to stimulate the ovaries and promote the development of multiple mature eggs. The response of the donor's ovaries to these medications can vary, affecting the number of eggs that can be retrieved for sharing.
- Hormone stimulation: Fertility medications, such as follicle-stimulating hormone (FSH), are administered to the donor to stimulate the growth and maturation of multiple eggs within the ovaries. The dosage and duration of hormone stimulation are tailored to each individual to optimize the number of eggs produced. The exact drugs and dosages chosen will impact the outcome, as well as the donor’s adherence to the prescribed medications.
- Ovarian monitoring: Regular monitoring through ultrasounds and blood tests is essential during the stimulation phase. These monitoring sessions help fertility specialists track the growth and development of follicles (fluid-filled sacs containing eggs) and adjust medication dosages if needed. Close monitoring ensures the timely retrieval of mature eggs.
As you can see, many of these items are related to the egg retrieval cycle itself, where outcomes can be influenced by the quality and expertise of the clinic and fertility doctor. Learn more about finding a good IVF clinic.
At Cofertiltiy, those who match with a donor in our fresh egg donation program, the average number of mature eggs a family receives and fertilizes is 12. The number of eggs retrieved varies by patient and cycle, but can be predicted by a donor’s age, AMH, and antral follicle count, all of which will be known to you after the donor’s initial screening. Qualified candidates have an ample ovarian reserve for both their own needs and sharing. Egg share donors also often work closely with a fertility doctor to determine, based on their own medical history, the optimal number of eggs needed for their own future family-building goals. Should it make sense for the donor, they may choose to pursue a second egg-sharing cycle to maximize the chances of success for everyone.
Matching with a donor in our frozen program can provide the opportunity to move forward with your family-building plans faster, as frozen eggs can be fertilized or shipped to your clinic immediately or as soon as the cycle is complete. Donors undergoing frozen cycles complete equally rigorous ovarian reserve testing. While the total number of frozen eggs available will vary based on the donor’s retrieval outcomes, every frozen match is guaranteed to have a minimum of at least 6 frozen eggs.
To learn more about these programs and the differences between them, click here.
How many embryos can I expect from an egg sharing round?
One 2015 study of 647 frozen donor eggs found that just three donor eggs would yield a little over one genetically normal embryo on average while nine donor eggs would be expected to yield three to four euploid embryos on average.
Keep in mind, these are just averages. Everyone’s experience is different and may be higher or lower than this.
Our Baby Guarantee
While some agencies require you to pay extra to receive any form of a guarantee, Cofertility’s Baby Guarantee is built into our pricing. We want to help you bring your baby home, and we'll re-match you for free until that happens.
This means that if at any point along your egg donation journey, something out of your control prevents you from bringing your baby home, we'll re-match you for free or we'll offer you a full or partial refund if you do not move forward with another donor.
Read more about our Baby Guarantee.
Cofertility - striving to be the best egg sharing program
We aim to be the best egg sharing program, providing an experience that honors, respects, and uplifts everyone involved. Here’s what sets us apart:
- Baby guarantee. We truly want to help you bring your baby home, and we will re-match you for free until that happens.
- Donor empowerment. Our model empowers donors to preserve their own fertility, while lifting you up on your own journey. It’s a win-win.
- Diversity: We’re proud about the fact that the donors on our platform are as diverse as the intended parents seeking to match with them. We work with intended parents to understand their own cultural values — including regional nuances — in hopes of finding them the perfect match.
- Human-centered. We didn’t like the status quo in egg donation. So we’re doing things differently, starting with our human-centered matching platform.
- Lifetime support: Historically, other egg donation options have treated egg donor matching as a one-and-done experience. Beyond matching, beyond a pregnancy, beyond a birth…we believe in supporting the donor-conceived family for life. Our resources and education provide intended parents with the guidance they need to raise happy, healthy kids and celebrate their origin stories.
We are obsessed with improving the family-building journey — today or in the future — and are in an endless pursuit to make these experiences more positive. Create a free account to get started today!
Does Donor Egg IVF Increase Chances of Twins?
Does donor egg IVF increase the chances of conceiving twins? In this guide, I’ll dive into the essentials of donor egg IVF, its odds for success, the chances for twins, and the potential risks associated with multiples.
The world of fertility treatments is a rapidly-evolving landscape, teeming with options, intricacies, and promises of renewed hope for LGBTQ+ families as well as those struggling to conceive. Among these treatments, donor egg in vitro fertilization (IVF) has become an increasingly common path, with a substantial 12% of all IVF cycles in the U.S., over 16,000 a year, involving eggs retrieved from a donor.
But does donor egg IVF increase the chances of conceiving twins? In this guide, I’ll dive into the essentials of donor egg IVF, its odds for success, the chances for twins, and the potential risks associated with multiples.
What is donor egg IVF?
IVF with donor eggs is a medical procedure where eggs are collected from a donor, fertilized in a laboratory with the intended father's or a donor's sperm, and the resulting embryo is then implanted in the uterus of the intended mother or a gestational carrier.
This process may be an option for women with diminished ovarian reserve, repeated IVF failure, infertility due to recurrent miscarriage, or those who carry genetic disorders that they do not want to pass on to their children. It is also an option for LGBTQ+ families and single males.
Donor egg IVF typically involves several steps: the selection of an egg donor, extraction and fertilization of the donor eggs, and transfer of the embryo(s). To learn more about the process, check out this article.
What are the odds of getting pregnant with donor eggs?
Success rates for donor egg IVF are often more promising compared to traditional IVF. At Cofertility, for those who match with a donor in our fresh egg donation program, the average number of mature eggs a family receives and fertilizes is 12. The number of eggs retrieved varies by patient and cycle, but can be predicted by a donor’s age, AMH, and antral follicle count, all of which will be known to you after the donor’s initial screening. Qualified candidates have an ample ovarian reserve for both their own needs and sharing. Egg share donors also often work closely with a fertility doctor to determine, based on their own medical history, the optimal number of eggs needed for their own future family-building goals. Should it make sense for the donor, they may choose to pursue a second egg-sharing cycle to maximize the chances of success for everyone.
Matching with a donor in our frozen program can provide the opportunity to move forward with your family-building plans faster, as frozen eggs can be fertilized or shipped to your clinic immediately or as soon as the cycle is complete. Donors undergoing frozen cycles complete equally rigorous ovarian reserve testing. While the total number of frozen eggs available will vary based on the donor’s retrieval outcomes, every frozen match is guaranteed to have a minimum of at least 6 frozen eggs. To learn more about these programs and the differences between them, click here.
Around 53 percent of all donor egg cycles will result in at least one live birth. This percentage varies depending on the egg donor, recipient body mass index, stage of embryo at transfer, the number of oocytes retrieved, and the quality of the clinic.
At every age, the chances of birth with donor eggs is better, but those who benefit the most from donor eggs are women over 35 and those with low ovarian reserve. In fact, about one-quarter of women over 40 who succeeded with IVF did so through the use of donor eggs.
The chart was made using the SART Patient Predictor for an average woman (5’4”, 150 lbs) with diminished ovarian reserve. As you can see, the chances of live birth after one donor egg cycle is 54% for recipients under 40, and only goes down slightly after this.
The advantage is primarily due to the utilization of eggs from younger donors, typically between the ages of 21 and 34.
It’s important to remember that your age when you get pregnant is not as important as the age of the eggs with which you get pregnant. The success of egg donation depends on many factors, but is not considered to be related to the age of the recipient.
Chances of twins with donor eggs
One question we get a lot is the likelihood of conceiving twins with donor egg IVF.
According to the CDC, in 2021 live births from donor egg IVF had a slightly higher chance of twins compared to IVF with a patient’s own eggs.
- General population: 3.2%
- IVF with patient’s own eggs: 5.2%
- Donor egg IVF: 6.0%
- Donor embryo IVF: 7.4%
But as you can see from the data above, IVF (regardless of whose eggs are used) is associated with higher chances of twins.
How does that work? First, the chances of an embryo splitting and becoming monozygotic twins (aka identical twins) is 2.25 times higher with IVF than with unassisted conception.
But twins after IVF are usually due to a patient having more than one embryo transferred to the uterus, making them dizygotic twins. When IVF was just starting out, there was no genetic testing and fertility doctors would transfer multiple embryos at one time. This led to a multiples rate of over 20% for those who underwent IVF. Nowadays, as technology has advanced, single embryo transfers are the norm, and the incidence of twins has gone down drastically.
Can I transfer two donor egg embryos?
The transfer of two embryos is an option in some fertility clinics, and it often increases the chances of pregnancy. However, it's important to consider the associated risks, benefits, and guidelines.
The American Society for Reproductive Medicine (ASRM) recommends that clinicians and patients carefully discuss the number of embryos to be transferred, considering factors like maternal age, embryo quality, and the patient's individual medical situation. In some cases, transferring two embryos may be a viable option, while in others, a single embryo transfer may be the preferred route to minimize the risk of multiples,
Risk of pregnancy with multiples
While the prospect of twins may be appealing to some, there are increased risks associated with multiple pregnancies. Twin pregnancies are associated with higher rates of preterm birth, low birth weight, and maternal complications such as gestational diabetes and preeclampsia.
- Preterm birth, defined as delivery before 37 weeks of gestation, occurs more frequently in multiple pregnancies. Preterm infants may face an array of health challenges, including respiratory distress syndrome, infections, and long-term developmental issues. These risks underscore the importance of careful monitoring during pregnancy and specialized neonatal care following birth.
- Low birth weight, often linked to preterm birth, is a common occurrence in twin pregnancies. Infants born with low birth weight are at increased risk for health problems both immediately after birth and later in life. Challenges may include difficulties with feeding and temperature regulation, as well as potential long-term developmental delays.
- Other complications from twin pregnancies due to added stress on the mother's body can lead to an increased risk of gestational diabetes and preeclampsia, a condition characterized by high blood pressure and damage to organs such as the liver and kidneys. Other potential complications may include an increased likelihood of cesarean section (C-section), excessive bleeding during childbirth, and higher rates of postpartum depression.
You should understand these risks and engage in thoughtful, well-informed planning and decision-making with your fertility doctor if you are considering the transfer of multiple embryos in donor egg IVF.
The bottom line
Donor egg IVF represents a beacon of hope for many aspiring parents. With its relatively high success rate, more and more families are turning to donor eggs to build their family.
However, the decision to pursue this treatment—and whether to transfer one or two embryos—requires careful consideration of the odds, potential risks, and individual medical circumstances. Consulting with fertility doctors, understanding the available scientific data, and considering personal preferences and ethical considerations will equip you to make informed choices on your journey towards parenthood. We wish you all the best!
Learn about egg sharing
At Cofertility, our program is unique. After meeting with hundreds of intended parents, egg donors, and donor-conceived people, we decided on an egg donation model that we think best serves everyone involved: egg sharing.
Here’s how it works: our unique model empowers women to take control of their own reproductive health while giving you the gift of a lifetime. Our donors aren’t doing it for cash – they keep half the eggs retrieved for their own future use, and donate half to your family.
We aim to be the best egg sharing program, providing an experience that honors, respects, and uplifts everyone involved. Here’s what sets us apart:
- Human-centered. We didn’t like the status quo in egg donation. So we’re doing things differently, starting with our human-centered matching platform.
- Donor empowerment. Our model empowers donors to preserve their own fertility, while lifting you up on your own journey. It’s a win-win.
- Diversity: We’re proud about the fact that the donors on our platform are as diverse as the intended parents seeking to match with them. We work with intended parents to understand their own cultural values — including regional nuances — in hopes of finding them the perfect match.
- Baby guarantee. We truly want to help you bring your baby home, and we will re-match you for free until that happens.
- Lifetime support: Historically, other egg donation options have treated egg donor matching as a one-and-done experience. Beyond matching, beyond a pregnancy, beyond a birth…we believe in supporting the donor-conceived family for life. Our resources and education provide intended parents with the guidance they need to raise happy, healthy kids and celebrate their origin stories.
We are obsessed with improving the family-building journey — today or in the future — and are in an endless pursuit to make these experiences more positive. Create a free account to get started today!
Words Matter: Bringing Fertility Terminology Up to Date
In honor of National Infertility Awareness Week, we took a look at common terms related to infertility, pregnancy, and more — and some of them were pretty outdated.
Every National Infertility Awareness Week, we like to reflect upon the true meaning of “infertility awareness”. All year, we take every chance we get to increase awareness of infertility in an effort to provide proactive fertility education and de-stigmatize all paths to parenthood.
This is important because infertility can feel incredibly isolating due to lack of openness and understanding from the general public. While infertility does not discriminate, it often catches its victims off guard. Due to a lack of awareness (or just a lack of acceptance), we’re taught from an early age that getting pregnant is easy. In reality, this isn’t the case for everyone — one in four American couples struggle to conceive — and the additional stigmatization of infertility just kicks those suffering from it while they’re down.
We’re here to change that. Myself and my co-founders all experienced challenging journeys to build our families, and we know, first-hand, that words matter. So this National Infertility Awareness Week, we’re proposing a vocabulary overhaul when it comes to outdated and straight-up offensive fertility terminology.
Here are several fertility terms we commonly hear — in doctor’s offices, news articles, and more — that we think need to be replaced:
Fertility
- “Insurance policy” → optionality: when a woman decides to freeze her eggs, she's giving herself optionality should she experience fertility challenges down the line. While Cofertility’s mission with Freeze by Co is to enable more proactive, empowering egg freezing, we are always transparent about the fact that egg freezing is never an insurance policy.
- Poor sperm quality → sperm-related challenges: when a man experiences low sperm count or motility, or irregular morphology that may result in an unsuccessful fertilization or pregnancy. The same can apply to “poor egg quality,” and we support a similar change to reference egg-related challenges.
- Inhospitable uterus → uterine challenges: when uterine conditions, like endometriosis, cause difficulty getting or staying pregnant.
- Poor ovarian reserve → diminished ovarian reserve: when a woman’s egg count is lower than average for her age.
Egg donation and surrogacy
- Donor mother/parent → egg donor: the woman who donated her eggs to fertilize an embryo resulting in a child is an egg donor. The intended parents are that child’s parents, full stop.
- Surrogate mother → gestational carrier: Similar to “donor mother,” a gestational carrier, while doing an amazing thing (carrying the pregnancy of a transferred embryo using another woman’s egg) is not that child’s mother. Gestational carriers are incredible, but should not be confused with a child’s actual parents.
- Anonymous egg donation → non-identified egg donation: we believe anonymous egg donation is a thing of the past — not only can it have negative effects upon donor-conceived children, it’s also unrealistic with the rise of consumer genetic testing. The American Society for Reproductive Medicine (ASRM) recently recommended this lexicon replacement as well. At Cofertility, we discuss the concept of disclosure at length with all donors and intended parents. You can read more about our stance on “anonymous” egg donation here.
- Buying eggs → matching with an egg donor: No one involved in this process should feel like eggs are being bought or sold (that goes for the egg donor, the intended parents, and the donor-conceived person). Rather, working with an egg donor is a beautiful way of growing a family and should feel the opposite of transactional.
- “Using” an egg donor → working with/matching with an egg donor: An egg donor should feel like a perfect fit with your family and someone who should be respected, not “used”. Our unique model — where women can freeze their eggs for free when they donate half of the eggs retrieved to another family — honors everyone involved. Learn more here!
Pregnancy loss
- Spontaneous abortion → pregnancy loss: Honestly, this term is beyond cruel given what it describes — losing a pregnancy prior to 20 weeks.
- Implantation failure → unsuccessful transfer: When an IVF embryo transfer doesn’t result in a success, that doesn’t mean it — or your body — was a failure.
- Chemical pregnancy → early pregnancy loss: Calling a pregnancy “chemical” discredits what it actually is — a pregnancy. And losing it should be categorized as such.
Let’s hold ourselves accountable
During National Infertility Awareness Week, consider this our rally cry for evolved terminology around the #ttc process. We’ll plan to hold ourselves accountable, but beyond talking the talk, we aim to walk the walk.
Our goal is to make the actual family-building process more positive and accessible for anyone pursuing third party reproduction. With Family by Co, all egg donors give half of their eggs retrieved to intended parents and freeze the other half for themselves for free to preserve some of their own fertility for the future. This way, they’re able to give a life-changing gift, but also consider their own ambitions and lifestyle choices. We feel this is significantly more ethical than other donation options out there, and our intended parents love the transparent nature of our platform.
Let’s challenge each other to evolve the surrounding verbiage. Because the family-building process should feel as good as possible, in spite of challenges along the way.
Cofertility is a human-first fertility ecosystem rewriting the egg freezing and egg donation experience. Our Family by Co platform serves as a more transparent, ethical egg donor matching platform. We are obsessed with improving the family-building journey — today or in the future — and are in an endless pursuit to make these experiences more positive. Create a free account today!
Egg Donor IVF: What You Need to Know
Using donor eggs can sometimes be an overwhelming process, and there are many things that you may not be aware of until you start the process. In this article, I will lay out some things that you should know about using donor eggs.
Using donor eggs can be a life-changing experience for couples struggling with infertility. For many, it is the best way to achieve a successful pregnancy and start a family. However, using donor eggs can sometimes be an overwhelming process, and there are many things that you may not be aware of until you start the process. In this article, I will lay out some things that you should know about using donor eggs.
If you’ve done IVF before, you know the drill
IVF can be broken down into three phases:
- The retrieval phase, where the eggs are matured and extracted
- The embryo phase, where eggs are fertilized and monitored in the lab
- And the transfer phase, where an embryo is transferred to the uterus of the intended mother or gestational carrier
With donor eggs, the egg donor undergoes the retrieval and then her job is done. The eggs are then fertilized with the sperm of the intended father (or a sperm donor) and grown for three to seven days under the careful eye of a trained embryologist. At this point, some families opt to do genetic testing. Once the embryo is ready, the intended mother, or a gestational carrier, takes over to carry the pregnancy to term.
Unless your doctor has determined that it is impossible or dangerous for you to safely carry a pregnancy, you can absolutely undergo IVF and get pregnant with donor eggs.
Choosing an egg donor is a huge decision
Finding an egg donor can be a challenging and time-consuming process, and rightfully so! You want to ensure that you find the right match that you feel good about. When choosing a donor, it's essential to consider factors such as physical traits, medical history, and personality. At Cofertility, we have hundreds of pre-qualified donors ready to be matched. You can create a free account to begin your search.
Medical screening of the donor will help increase your chances of success
Donors are screened for various genetic and infectious diseases before they can donate their eggs. This screening process is designed to ensure that the donor is healthy and that there is minimal risk of passing on any genetic or infectious diseases to the recipient or the baby. Additionally, their ovarian reserve is tested to help ensure that they are likely to produce enough mature eggs. The screening definitely adds time to the process, but is intended to help increase your chances of success.
You’ll need a lawyer who specializes in third-party reproduction
There are state-specific legal considerations to be aware of when using donor eggs. It's essential to have an iron-clad legal agreement in place that outlines the terms of the donation and the rights and responsibilities of all parties involved. No clinic will accept a patient and egg donor without this contract in place. If you work with Cofertility, we will help ensure you and your donor have expert lawyers drafting this contract.
Donor eggs can increase your chances of success
Around 53 percent of all donor egg cycles will result in at least one live birth. This percentage varies depending on the egg donor, recipient body mass index, stage of embryo at transfer, the number of oocytes retrieved, and the quality of the clinic.
At every age, the chances of birth with donor eggs is better, but those who benefit the most from donor eggs are women over 35 and those with low ovarian reserve. In fact, about one-quarter of women over 40 who succeeded with IVF did so through the use of donor eggs.
The chart was made using the SART Patient Predictor for an average woman (5’4”, 150 lbs) with diminished ovarian reserve. As you can see, the chances of live birth after one donor egg cycle is 54% for recipients under 40, and only goes down slightly after this.
At Cofertility, for those who match with a donor in our fresh egg donation program, the average number of mature eggs a family receives and fertilizes is 12. The number of eggs retrieved varies by patient and cycle, but can be predicted by a donor’s age, AMH, and antral follicle count, all of which will be known to you after the donor’s initial screening. Qualified candidates have an ample ovarian reserve for both their own needs and sharing. Egg share donors also often work closely with a fertility doctor to determine, based on their own medical history, the optimal number of eggs needed for their own future family-building goals. Should it make sense for the donor, they may choose to pursue a second egg-sharing cycle to maximize the chances of success for everyone.
Matching with a donor in our frozen program can provide the opportunity to move forward with your family-building plans faster, as frozen eggs can be fertilized or shipped to your clinic immediately or as soon as the cycle is complete. Donors undergoing frozen cycles complete equally rigorous ovarian reserve testing. While the total number of frozen eggs available will vary based on the donor’s retrieval outcomes, every frozen match is guaranteed to have a minimum of at least 6 frozen eggs.
To learn more about these programs and the differences between them, click here.
It might get emotional
Using donor eggs can be an emotional journey for intended parents. It can create feelings of loss, sadness, anger, and possibly even shame. You may feel a deep sense of grief over not having a genetically linked child. Give yourself space to express your feelings and time to process this loss. Avoidance and distraction can only be helpful for so long. Allow yourself to sit with your feelings. Give yourself permission to move forward at your own pace.
Remember, DNA is a small part of who we are. All human beings are 99.9 percent identical in their genetic makeup and nurture plays an enormous role in who we become and who we bond with.
It will be expensive
IVF alone is expensive, and then there’s donor eggs. The total cost can end up being tens of thousands of dollars, depending on the clinic, the egg donor, and if your insurance or employer covers any of it.
Know this: our donors aren’t doing it for the money. At Cofertility, our donors freeze their eggs for free in exchange for donating half of the eggs to your family. This saves families tens of thousands of dollars on donor compensation.
You won’t regret it
Ask anyone who has had a child, born with or without some type of assistance, and they will all tell you the same thing: parenting is the greatest - yet hardest - thing they have ever done. It doesn’t matter how the child came into their lives, the role and relationship of parent and child is the same.
When working with parents who had donor conceived children, their only real regret was they wished they had done this sooner. They wished they had let go of their preconceived notions that a baby who looks like them or who shares their genes is the only way to be a parent. That bringing a child into their lives using alternative methods means the child won’t see them as their real parent, or that they will not bond. Read more in Will I Regret Using Donor Eggs?
In summary
Using donor eggs can be an excellent option for couples struggling with infertility. It's important to be aware of the various factors involved, including finding a donor, medical screening, legal considerations, success rates, emotional impact, cost, and talking to your child. With the right support and information, using donor eggs can be a positive and fulfilling experience, leading to the creation of a loving and happy family.
Is there a Maximum Age for Egg Donor IVF?
Donor-egg IVF has the highest success rate of any fertility treatment. But is there an age limit for intended parents pursuing this path? Let's take a look.
If you're in your 40s or 50s and looking to grow your family, you may be considering IVF with donor eggs. In fact, according to the CDC, a substantial 12% of all IVF cycles in the U.S. involve eggs retrieved from a donor. Donor-egg IVF has the highest success rate of any fertility treatment. But is there an age limit for intended parents pursuing this path? Let's take a look:
Parent age and egg donor IVF
Age is one of the biggest factors in the ability to get pregnant. And even with IVF, the chances of success with our own eggs declines as we reach our 40s. The great part about IVF is that you can find out if an embryo is genetically normal (and thus less likely to miscarry) before you attempt a transfer. This can save time and heartache.
Data from the Society for Assisted Reproductive Technology (SART) shows the following chances of a live singleton birth using your own eggs via IVF:
- 38.3% for women 35-37
- 25.1% for women age 38-40
- 12.7% for women age 41-42
- 4.1% for women over 42
It’s important to remember that your age when you (or your gestational carrier) get pregnant is not as important as the age of the eggs. That means your chances of success getting pregnant, no matter your age now, is better with younger eggs. But how do you get younger eggs? For some lucky women, they can use eggs they froze years ago. But for most of us, getting younger eggs means turning to egg donation.
My age vs. my donor’s age: which is more important?
Studies show that your chances of success using donor eggs does not diminish in your 40s. So while getting pregnant with your own eggs may be unlikely, using donor eggs can greatly increase your chances of a successful and healthy baby well into your 40s and even 50s.
Many women in their 40s and 50s can carry a pregnancy when using donor eggs, although some need to use a gestational carrier for a variety of reasons.
Is there an age limit for IVF with donor eggs?
Technically, there is no age limit (legal or otherwise) in the United States for pursuing IVF with or without donor eggs. But ASRM discourages IVF for women older than 55, and some clinics set their own age limits for patients they will treat.
For women over 45 years old, ASRM advises:
- “Comprehensive” medical testing for cardiovascular and metabolic fitness to ensure the safety of the mother and baby during pregnancy
- Psychosocial evaluation to determine if support is in place to raise a child to adulthood
- Counseling patients on potential increased medical risks related to pregnancy
For families using donor eggs and a surrogate, ASRM would advise that the family undergo psychological evaluation to ensure the parents are equipped to raise the child at an older-than-average age.
Supporting mothers of all ages
There is no age limit for men having children and there is no maximum age for US domestic adoption – so why would we put an age restriction on mothers via egg donation? Generally, these restrictions are for her own health during pregnancy.
All pregnancies have risks, and pregnancy after 50 is no exception. One small study followed 45 healthy mothers ages 50-63 who used donor eggs, and found that 35% experienced pregnancy-related hypertension (high blood pressure), 20% experienced gestational diabetes, and 78% had a cesarean section. These numbers are higher than the general population.
But what if a gestational carrier (surrogate) carries the donor egg pregnancy? Then the argument turns to the ability to parent.
ASRM lays out some compelling arguments in favor of donor egg IVF for women over 45:
- Older people (grandparents) raise children all the time in our society, and successfully at that. So there’s no reason to think older parents wouldn’t have the physical and psychological stamina for raising children.
- Older men often have children, and there is no set age limit for males in IVF. So why create limits for women?
- Our society respects the rights of individuals to make reproductive choices regardless of age or life expectancy. For example, we don’t ban someone with a terminal illness from becoming a parent. So why stop someone else because of their age?
Benefits of having children later
Becoming a parent at an older age certainly has pros and cons, and is different for everyone. But here are some benefits to having children in your 40s and 50s:
- Financial security: older parents tend to have more financial freedom and savings, making the financial commitment of parenting less daunting.
- Emotional maturity: Older parents feel more ready and mature. In a study of older parents, 72% of mothers and 57% of fathers expressed that the emotional maturity associated with age provided a clear advantage to having children later in life.
- Smoother parenting: One study found that older maternal age was associated with fewer behavioral, social and emotional difficulties
- More life experiences: People who start families later in life have had more opportunity to check things off their bucket list – travel, work accomplishments, hobbies – and may not feel like parenting is as much a compromise in their lives. Plus, they have more to teach their littles!
Summing it up
There is no formal age limit for pursuing donor egg IVF, although ASRM discourages it for women over 55 and fertility clinics may set their own age limit. Anyone over 45 is recommended to undergo comprehensive medical testing, counseling, and a psychosocial evaluation. There are pros and cons to becoming a parent at any age, and these should be carefully considered when making the decision.
FAQ
What is “advanced maternal age” (over 35) “advanced reproductive age” (over 45)
Advanced maternal age is a not-so-great term used by the medical community to describe a potential pregnancy for women over 35. Advanced reproductive age refers to women over 45. Interestingly, there is no similar term for males trying to conceive at any age.
Am I too old to become a parent?
This is a question only you can answer. How is your health? Do you have a support system that could help raise the child if anything were to happen to you? Are you financially ready? These are questions any parent, at any age, should ask before building a family.
What is donor egg IVF?
Donor egg IVF is an IVF cycle that uses a young, medically-cleared woman's eggs, which are then fertilized and implanted into the uterus of the intended mother or gestational carrier.
How can I find an egg donor?
Our Family by Co platform serves as a more transparent, ethical egg donor matching platform. Create a free account today to get started!
Egg Donation and Blood Types
When it comes to egg donation, you may be wondering if the blood type of the egg donor matters. While it is not necessary for the donor to have the same blood type as either parent, it’s helpful to understand how blood types work.
When it comes to egg donation, you may be wondering if the blood type of the egg donor matters. While it is not necessary for the donor to have the same blood type as either parent, it’s helpful to understand how blood types work. In this article, we’ll review the blood types, how they are inherited, and when blood type matching matters.
What are blood types?
Blood types are determined by the presence or absence of certain antigens, or proteins, on the surface of our red blood cells. Blood types include A, B, AB, and O. Blood type A has the A antigen, blood type B has the B antigen, blood type AB has both A and B antigens, and blood type O has neither A nor B antigens.
Within each blood type, there is a positive or negative (A+, A-, and so on). The positive or negative sign next to the blood groups is known as the Rhesus (Rh) factor. Rh factor is independent of blood type. It is determined by the presence or absence of a specific antigen on the surface of red blood cells. If a person has the Rh antigen, they are Rh-positive. If they do not have the Rh antigen, they are Rh-negative. Most people, about 85%, are Rh-positive.
According to the San Diego Blood Bank, the average distribution of the blood types in the United States are:
- O Positive (O +): 38%
- O Negative (O -): 7%
- A Positive (A +): 34%
- A Negative (A -): 6%
- B Positive (B +): 9%
- B Negative (B -): 2%
- AB Positive (AB +): 3%
- AB Negative (AB -): 1%
How is a child’s blood type determined in egg donation?
A baby's blood type is determined by the combination of genes inherited from the egg and sperm. Each passes on one of their two ABO alleles to the child. The combination of these alleles determines the baby's blood type. For example, if the egg donor is type A and the biological father (or sperm donor) is type B, the baby could be type A, type B, type AB, or even type O.
Unless both the egg donor and intended father have blood type O, in which case the baby would definitely be type O, you would need a blood test to determine the baby's blood type.
But remember how we said everyone also has an Rh factor, that plus or minus after the letter? A child inherits one Rh allele from the egg donor and one from the intended father. If both are Rh-positive, then the child will be RH-positive. If both are Rh-negative, then the child will be Rh-negative. If one is Rh-negative and the other is Rh-positive, then the child could be either.
Does the egg donor determine the blood type of the child?
The blood type of a child is determined by the combination of genes inherited from the egg and sperm. Each contributes one of two possible alleles (versions) for each gene that codes for the blood type. The Rh blood group system is determined by another gene on chromosome 1 that has two alleles: D and d. The D allele codes for the RhD protein, and the d allele codes for no Rh protein.
While the egg and sperm decide the genetic makeup of the child, they do not have control over the specific alleles that the child inherits. That is determined by the process of meiosis, which randomly selects which sperm or egg cell will fertilize the other.
What is Rh incompatibility?
Rh incompatibility occurs when a pregnant woman (either an intended mother or gestational carrier) who is Rh-negative carries a baby who is Rh-positive. Her immune system may recognize the baby's Rh-positive blood cells as foreign and produce antibodies against them. This can cause her immune system to attack and destroy the baby's red blood cells, leading to a condition called hemolytic disease of the newborn (HDN). HDN can cause serious complications for the baby, including anemia, jaundice, brain damage, and even death.
It’s important to know if you’re at risk for HDN. But the good news is that HDN can be prevented by administering a medication called Rh immunoglobulin (RhIg) or Rhogam to the mother or gestational carrier during pregnancy, which helps prevent her body from making antibodies against the baby's blood cells.
If you or your gestational carrier are Rh negative, consult with your doctor about choosing a donor who is Rh positive.
Is it possible for a child to have a different blood type than both of its parents?
Yup! As you can see in the chart shared above, there are many cases where a child would have a different blood type from their biological parents. For instance, if the egg donor was blood type A and the intended father was type B, the child could be blood type O.
Why would someone want an egg donor with the same blood type?
There are a couple reasons someone might want an egg donor with a specific blood type.
First, they may want to avoid rare blood types in the rare situation that the child would need a blood transfusion. Blood transfusions can only be given to individuals with compatible blood types. For example, if someone with blood type A receives a blood transfusion from someone with blood type B, their body may react negatively and cause serious health issues. Remember though, unless both the egg donor and intended father are type O (in which case the only option is for the child to be type O), there is no guarantee that a child will be the same blood type as one parent.
Second, blood type can also play a role in pregnancy and childbirth. If a mother or gestational carrier is Rh-negative and the baby is Rh-positive, the mother's body may produce antibodies that attack the baby's red blood cells, which can lead to a condition called hemolytic disease of the newborn. However, this is treatable and not a reason to pass on an egg donor.
Third, some parents may want to increase the chances of their child having (or not having) a certain blood type. There is some evidence that certain blood types are more protective against certain health conditions like heart attacks, memory loss, and cancer.
Lastly, parents who do not plan on telling their child about their donor-conceived origins may want to have a child with similar blood type. Although this is your family and you get to decide how / if to tell your story, research has shown over and over the importance of openness and honesty in telling children their conception story and telling it early.
Is it better to find an egg donor who has the same blood type as myself?
So does blood type matter? It is not necessarily "better" to find an egg donor who has the same blood type as yourself. It’s helpful to know the blood type of the donor, but blood type doesn’t need to be a reason to choose a donor, and most parents have other attributes that are more important to them.
As mentioned above, having an egg donor who is the same blood type as the intended mother or gestational carrier can help reduce the risk of Rh incompatibility between the baby and the intended mother, which can cause serious complications for the baby if not treated. However, blood type matching is not necessary for egg donation, and many successful pregnancies and healthy babies are born from egg donation despite not having a blood type match.
Ultimately, the decision of whether to find an egg donor with the same blood type as yourself should be made in consultation with a fertility doctor, who can provide more information and guidance on the risks and benefits of blood type matching in your specific situation.
Cofertility is a human-first fertility ecosystem rewriting the egg freezing and egg donation experience. Our Family by Co platform serves as a more transparent, ethical egg donor matching platform. We are obsessed with improving the family-building journey — today or in the future — and are in an endless pursuit to make these experiences more positive. Create a free account today!
We Asked Four Donor Conceived People About Their Life, Here's What They Said
Part of our work is honoring the unique experiences of the humans we are helping create. As such, we are constantly seeking input and advice from the donor-conceived. In this article, we share the unique perspectives of three donor-conceived adults. community.
Part of our work is honoring the unique experiences of the humans we are helping create. As such, we are constantly seeking input and advice from the donor conceived community.
Being donor conceived can mean different things to different people, as their experience is as varied and unique as any other child. Some people who were donor-conceived feel a strong sense of connection to their biological family, while others don’t even think about it. Some are curious about their genetic origins and seek out information about the donor, while others are not interested in learning more. Some people may struggle with questions about identity and family, while others may not feel that their donor conception has had a significant impact on their life. Overall, the experience of being donor conceived can be complex and nuanced, and can vary depending on their upbringing and the level of openness and honesty within their family.
In this article, we share the unique perspectives of four donor-conceived adults.
The respondents:
- Emma is a nurse, author, and donor conceived adult who has been vocal about her life experiences
- Jackson is a 30-something, donor conceived engineer in Florida
- Libby is a donor conceived small business owner from Massachusetts
- Melissa is egg donor conceived and the VP of Development at the US Donor Conceived Council
How did you find out you were donor-conceived?
Emma: I have always known that I was donor conceived or at least I have no memory of not knowing. My parents made a book about their long journey to create a family and how lucky they were to have me – we read the book as a nighttime story or whenever I wanted to from, I was 2-3 years old. This book meant that we don’t really know when I understood but we have drawings I made of egg and supercells from when I was 5 years old.
Jackson: I found out I was donor conceived in a funny way, actually. I was 17, about to graduate high school, and I was sitting at a Dairy Queen with my identical twin brother and we both got a Facebook friend request from the same person at the same time, so we thought that was really weird. We responded and asked how she knew us. She said she was our sister, and we didn't believe her - so we asked her the name of our parents. She got it right, so then we went home and asked our dad what this was all about. He then let us know that he was waiting until we were 18 (so a few months from then) to let us know, but they had used an egg donor/surrogate to conceive us after my mom had a number of late term miscarriages. I never felt any resentment towards any party involved (my parents, the egg donor, or the egg donor's children) but it was a bit jarring at the time and definitely weird for her to have reached out to us that way.
Libby: My moms were very transparent about a multitude of things as I grew up. While they couldn't always keep up with my speedily-moving brain and mouth, they tried their best and always explained things to me thoroughly. The first conversation I remember having about it was in first grade. We had to do some type of family tree assignment - and despite living in one of the most progressive towns at the time, I didn’t have anyone with two moms or two dads in my class. I felt alone and confused when I saw everyone drawing and talking about their mom and dad. I’m sure there were kids who had just one parent or another family member who had guardianship, but I was so focused on why my tree didn’t look the same.
When I brought my tree home, I had questions and they gave me answers in a developmentally appropriate way. I asked so many questions and they answered every single thing. They connected me with children in the area that were donor conceived or adopted. As time went on, I started to understand that families are families and that’s the end of that. It doesn’t matter what your family looks like, as long as there’s safety and love in it – “love makes a family” was said frequently in my home.
I started to understand that families are families and that’s the end of that. It doesn’t matter what your family looks like, as long as there’s safety and love in it – “love makes a family” was said frequently in my home.
I thought it was so cool that my donor was willing to help families, and I thought it was equally cool that I had more siblings! I would always wonder what they’d look like and how much we’d look alike. I didn’t think much about the donor as much as I did the siblings.
My two brothers had different donors than me, so we’d always ask our moms about the prominent features that each donor had. For legal reasons, they were unable to disclose much because they weren’t given much information, as the donor wanted to be an “identity release” type of donation – I would be able to make contact with him once I turned 18 if I wanted to. I didn’t have much desire for that though, I just wanted to know my siblings.
Melissa: My parents told my brother and me three weeks before I turned 22. It was so unexpected that at first, I thought they were playing a joke on us. My mother said that it had been on her mind all week and she just decided it was time to come clean, so after a long day of doing post-Christmas returns together she sat us down to break the news.
How has being donor-conceived impacted your life?
Emma: It has meant different things to me throughout life so far. Most significantly it has made me feel special, wanted, and extremely loved in my family. As a child I spoke a lot about it and tried to explain to people whenever relevant. Then I had a period where we talked a lot about features I have that might come from my donor. It was not in any negative way, more curious. As an adult I found out that I was lactose intolerant which I inherited from the donor. Before I started to share my story, my conception did not impact my adult life very much. Today it is a huge part of my life trying to create resources and sharing my experience for others to have some inspiration to navigate the difficult decisions of donor conception
Jackson: It really hasn't impacted my life in any way. After we found out we were donor conceived, we took a bit to process it and then moved on with life pretty much the exact same and went off to college. My mom is my mom, and I'm glad my parents were able to find a way to have us. We don't really ever talk about being donor conceived, but I will say there is some mystery around my medical history and if anything has popped up in the donor's family history since. I'm sure I could ask my parents to look into it if I really wanted.
Libby: Being donor conceived impacted my life because I am here, as cheesy as that sounds! My donor was able to help my moms have children and I will always be thankful for that. I’m so unbelievably proud of the family I have and I’m so happy to have expanded my family all across the US by connecting with my donor siblings. One of my donor siblings recently moved closer to me and we met in July of this year, and I consider her to be one of my best friends. I am incredibly passionate about inclusive, accessible, and affirming healthcare – including reproduction services – and being donor conceived is one of the driving forces behind that.
Melissa: Growing up, I spent years feeling like something was… off. Like I didn’t completely see myself on the maternal side of my family. When I first found out I was donor conceived, it was very surreal. I remember just driving around that night in a haze. In a lot of ways though, learning the truth made so much sense. It was almost a relief to know that I wasn’t crazy for feeling out of place my whole life. Nothing had been wrong with me. There was an explanation that entire time. But, it wasn’t a fix-all. There are certain day-to-day experiences that are unique to being donor conceived. Before I knew I was DC, I was unknowingly giving incorrect family medical history to all of my doctors. Between learning the truth and connecting with the donor, I had to tell so many doctors that I actually didn’t know anything about my maternal side. Luckily now I’ve successfully connected with the donor, but so many DCP don’t have that luxury either because they can’t find the donor, the donor has passed away, or the donor refuses to speak to them.
What’s your relationship like with the donor and their family?
Emma: I don’t know my donor. He was anonymous and I have never wanted to learn more about him, and I have never done any DNA testing. I think about him with gratitude but that is all I need so far.
Jackson: My twin brother and I are Facebook friends with a few of them, since that day at Dairy Queen. We had a few back and forth conversations with them but that's it. We're happy to let them loosely follow along our lives via Facebook but that's the extent I'm comfortable with. I haven't had the desire to meet them or the egg donor in person.
Libby: I do not currently communicate with my donor, but my oldest donor sibling reached out to him and he said he was willing to talk with us whenever. I connected with a majority of my siblings through Ancestry, oddly enough – some of those siblings had already talked with each other for awhile, and we would all just be added to the Facebook group chat once more of us popped up! We did lots of digging to find our donor (we had some information about where he went to school, the years he went, the fraternity he was in, what sports he played, and some other stuff – but no name). I felt like a detective trying to cross-reference the little information we had. Some of us feel differently about talking to the donor, which is completely understandable; so, we agreed to table it for a little while and revisit the idea at a later date. I feel indifferent about contacting him. I’m open to doing it but I don’t feel this burning desire.
Melissa: It actually took me three years to contact the donor. I dreaded the possibility that she might react poorly. I really didn’t want to be in a position where I was trying to delicately explain the harmlessness of wanting to just know who my own relatives are. Luckily though, I never had to do that. The donor was very receptive to contact. She even acknowledged on her own that it was her ethical duty to share her family medical history, and that I was probably much more surprised to learn I was donor conceived than she was to get a message from me. That validation was meaningful if only because it’s a rare experience for DCP [via anonymous donation]. Now, we talk occasionally over the phone; she lives far from me so we’ve never met in person. She has no siblings or children, which probably makes it easier in some ways. Since we’re both adults, there’s a hint of “what do we do now?” energy, but overall it’s a very civil acquaintanceship and it’s been really cool getting to see how many traits and quirks we share.
What would you tell an intended parent considering using donor eggs to conceive?
Emma: I would tell them to start talking to their child as soon as possible. I think this is very valuable for both parent and child. The parents as they get to rehearse and get familiar with sharing their story before the child starts to ask difficult questions. For the child so that they grow up knowing about their conception story. Research has shown that this is the best for the child and has also been very important to me and my relationship to my parents.
Jackson: Go for it! It's an incredible thing that can allow you to have the child you always wanted. I'd encourage them to have conversations with the children about being donor conceived at a younger age so it is something they intrinsically know as opposed to finding out at a Dairy Queen at age 17, but I don't think it has to be a requirement if that's not what you want to do as long as you are open and ready to having a conversation with them down the line.
Libby: Research the agency you’re considering to use! Find one that sits well with you. You deserve to feel heard and supported - not just by your loved ones, but by the professionals who will be assisting you throughout this journey. When it comes to egg donation – there are so many companies out there, but a lot of them come at a steep cost and lack psychological support. They feel very transactional because of that. Please be transparent and honest with your child(ren) when they start asking questions. Be willing to explore those feelings and questions with them, whatever they may be. There’s some wonderful children’s literature out there about being donor-conceived and it can help pique their curiosity at an early age. Connect with other families that have donor-conceived children. Remember that using donor eggs does not make you any less of a parent – and that your journey is beautiful and valid.
Melissa: Overall, I would urge all prospective parents to go with as little anonymity as possible. It really makes a world of a difference to a donor conceived person to have that access and information about their origins from day one. It’s also crucial that you listen to, and learn from, donor conceived adults. This especially includes the ones you don’t want to listen to. The industry that creates us is systematically flawed, so even if you love your children more than anything in the world, that won’t prevent them from having DC-related problems. Learning about the experiences of DCP will ultimately help you support your donor conceived children. Building a family with donor conception doesn’t stop when the baby is born. It will be a part of your family story for the rest of your life, and for the rest of your children’s lives.
Cofertility is a human-first fertility ecosystem rewriting the egg freezing and egg donation experience. Our Family by Co platform serves as a more transparent, ethical egg donor matching platform. We are obsessed with improving the family-building journey — today or in the future — and are in an endless pursuit to make these experiences more positive. Create a free account today!