What To Expect At Your Match Meeting: A Guide For Intended Parents

Meeting the person who may help you build your family can bring up all kinds of emotions—excitement, nervousness, hope, and maybe even a little uncertainty about what to say or how it will go. In Cofertility’s Split program, your Match Meeting is a chance to connect with the egg donor who may be donating half of her eggs while freezing the other half for her own future use. It’s not a formal interview; it’s a conversation between two people who’ve been thoughtfully matched and are now getting to know each other.

In this guide, we’ll walk through what typically happens during a Match Meeting, how to prepare, and how to approach the conversation in a way that helps everyone feel comfortable. While every meeting is unique, most follow a familiar rhythm—starting with introductions, then moving into shared interests, questions, and perspectives on the process ahead. Our goal is to help you feel grounded and supported every step of the way.

What’s a Match Meeting?

A Match Meeting is a casual video or phone call between you and the Split member you’ve matched with. These meetings can last from 30-60 minutes and are facilitated by your Cofertility Member Advocate, who will guide the discussion and make sure everyone feels at ease.

The meeting is designed to give both parties a chance to connect beyond written profiles. You’ll get to hear a bit about what brought her to Cofertility and egg sharing, and you’ll have the opportunity to share your own background and what led you here as well. Some people talk about their hobbies, career paths, or family life. Others open up about their hopes for the process, what they’re nervous about, or how they feel about potential future contact.

While these meetings are optional, most intended parents and donors choose to participate, and many tell us that it helped deepen their connection and gave meaning to the match.

Preparing for the meeting

You’ve already reviewed the donor’s profile and spoken with your Member Advocate about why the match may be a good fit. The Match Meeting is an opportunity to bring that profile to life. Think about what aspects of her story stood out to you, and consider what you’d like her to know about you and your family in return.

It’s okay if you’re feeling a little anxious. Many donors feel the same way—everyone wants to make a good impression, and everyone hopes the conversation will feel natural. The good news is: it usually does.

A few ways to prepare:

• Choose a quiet, private space for the call
• Test your Zoom or phone setup in advance
• Make sure you are comfortable with the display name as it will be visible to all participants.
• Consider 2–3 questions you’d like to ask her
• Think about what you feel comfortable sharing about your own story

Your Member Advocate will be there the whole time to guide the flow of conversation and can help navigate any moments of uncertainty or silence.

What to expect during the meeting

The call will begin with brief introductions. Your Member Advocate will often start with a few light prompts to ease into the conversation—like where you’re all calling from, your favorite weekend activity, or what drew you to Cofertility.

Once the conversation starts, it usually flows naturally. Some people click right away over shared interests or life stages. Others take a little longer to warm up, which is also completely normal.

Here’s what’s typical:

• The meeting lasts between 30–60 minutes
• The tone is conversational, not clinical
• Both parties are encouraged to share and ask questions
• The Member Advocate ensures balance and comfort

If you find yourselves really connecting and need more time, your Member Advocate may offer to schedule a second meeting so the conversation doesn’t feel rushed. It isn’t uncommon for intended parents and donors to schedule another meeting a bit further into the match to reconnect, especially after major milestones like medical clearance or finalizing the legal agreement, as the shared goal of the retrieval cycle approaches.

Common topics of discussion

Each Match Meeting is unique, but there are themes that come up often. Some meetings are more emotional, especially if fertility struggles are still fresh. Others feel light, optimistic, or even funny. All of these are valid.

Topics often include:

• What brought each of you to Cofertility
• What excites the donor about egg sharing
• Hobbies, education, or work
• Hopes or goals for the match
• Perspectives on future contact or updates

You don’t need to prepare a script—but it can help to think ahead about how you’d answer a question like, “What does this process mean to you?”

Making the most of your meeting

Good conversations usually happen when both people feel seen and respected. You don’t have to share every detail of your fertility history unless you want to, and you don’t need to try to “win someone over.” Just be yourself.

It’s okay to feel vulnerable. Many donors report feeling more connected to the experience when they hear a bit about the people they’re helping. If it feels comfortable to share, it can add meaning to the match.

You might ask:

• What made you interested in freezing your eggs?
• What stood out to you about the Split program?
• Is there anything you’re excited or nervous about?

And remember: pauses in conversation are totally fine. That’s what your Member Advocate is there for—to keep things moving and make sure everyone feels supported.

What happens after the meeting

Once the meeting ends, you’ll have some time to reflect. You don’t need to decide anything on the spot. Your Member Advocate will check in with you and the donor separately the next day to hear how each of you felt about the call.

If both parties feel good about moving forward, you’ll begin the next steps—clinic coordination, medical screening, and legal documentation. If either side doesn’t feel it’s the right fit, your Member Advocate will guide you through what comes next.

Next steps:

• Reflect on how the conversation felt
• Ask follow-up questions if anything’s unclear
• Let your Member Advocate know how you’d like to proceed

Frequently asked questions

Do we need to talk about our fertility history in detail?
No. You’re welcome to share what feels meaningful to you, but you’re not expected to go deep into your medical background unless you want to. Many donors are open and curious, but respectful of your privacy.

What if I feel emotional during the meeting?
That’s okay. It’s normal to feel a range of emotions—hope, sadness, relief, even gratitude. You’re meeting someone who may help change your life. We’ve seen tears, smiles, and everything in between. Your Member Advocate will support you through all of it.

What should I wear?
For video calls, something that makes you feel comfortable and confident. It’s not a formal meeting—casual or business casual works well. Just aim for something you’d wear to a relaxed coffee with a new acquaintance.

Can I ask about her background or family?
Yes, but keep it conversational. Many people talk about where they grew up, their values, or plans for the future. If there’s something specific you’re curious about and not sure how to ask, your Member Advocate can help guide you. It can be helpful to reach out to your Member Advocate ahead of the call so they can help you gently frame the question, or even find a way to work it into the conversation naturally.

What if we don’t feel aligned?
If something feels off or you’re unsure, that’s okay. Match Meetings are designed to confirm alignment, not to pressure anyone into moving forward. If you decide not to continue with the match, we’ll support you in finding the right fit. We want each match to be as fulfilling as possible for all parties.

Summing it up

Your Match Meeting is a meaningful step in the egg sharing process, but it’s also just a conversation. No one expects perfection—just honesty, curiosity, and openness. Many intended parents tell us this meeting helped them feel more grounded and hopeful about what’s ahead.

Whether the conversation is light or emotional, whether you’re talkative or more reserved, what matters most is that you show up as yourself. Your Member Advocate is there to guide you, and Cofertility is here to support you through every step that follows.

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