egg donation
How Many Babies Have Been Born Via Donor Eggs?
The use of donor eggs has become increasingly popular in recent years as more and more couples struggle with infertility or genetic disorders that prevent them from conceiving naturally. We know that using donor eggs can greatly increase the chances of success for an infertile couple. But how many babies have actually been born via donor eggs? Let’s dive in.
The use of donor eggs has become increasingly popular in recent years as more and more couples struggle with infertility or genetic disorders that prevent them from conceiving naturally.
We know that using donor eggs can greatly increase the chances of success for an infertile couple. But how many babies have actually been born via donor eggs? Let’s dive in.
How donor eggs work
Donor egg IVF involves fertilizing a donated egg with sperm from the intended father or a donor. The resulting embryo is then transferred to the uterus of the intended mother or a gestational carrier. Donor egg treatment may be necessary for a variety of reasons, including advanced maternal age, premature ovarian failure, a genetic disorder that may be passed down to the child, or for gay dads who also need a gestational carrier.
Before beginning treatment, the intended mother or gestational carrier will undergo a series of medical tests to ensure that their uterus is healthy and ready for pregnancy. The intended father or donor will also undergo testing to evaluate the quality and quantity of their sperm. Once the donor egg has been fertilized, the resulting embryo is monitored for a few days to ensure that it develops normally. At this point, some families opt to do preimplantation genetic screening (PGT). The embryo is then transferred to the uterus, where it will hopefully implant and begin to grow into a healthy baby.
The first donor egg baby
The first successful human egg donation took place in 1983 when an Australian woman with premature ovarian failure was able to conceive using a donated egg. The next year, the first American child was born via egg donation in Southern California. Since then, the practice has become increasingly popular, and the use of donor eggs has become an essential part of modern fertility treatments.
Donor egg births in the United States in 2021
While it's hard to know the exact number of egg donation cycles each year, we can get a good estimate through the Society for Reproductive Technology (SART), which tracks data for nearly 400 US clinics annually.
In 2021 there were over 20,000 IVF transfers using donor eggs at SART-reporting clinics. That is up 19% from the previous year. Of those transfers:
- Fresh donor eggs: 1,383
- Frozen donor eggs: 3,088
- Thawed embryos: 16,279
These transfers led to nearly 10,000 births. Which means 1 in 373 births in the United States in 2021 were thanks to donor eggs.
Donor egg births around the world
Donor egg usage is not limited to the United States. While there’s no way to get the exact number of donor egg cycles globally, we can get a sense of the magnitude by looking at data from the International Committee for Monitoring Assisted Reproductive Technologies (ICMART). ICMART collects data from 2,971 clinics in 79 countries, and found that there were 161,139 egg donation transfers in 2018.
The use of donor eggs is more common in countries and regions with better access to IVF, and where legal, cultural, or religious beliefs make the use of donor eggs more acceptable. Plus, the use of donor eggs in IVF may be underreported in some countries, as not all countries require procedures to be reported to regulatory agencies.
An estimate of the number of babies born via egg donation
There have been hundreds of thousands, if not more, children born through egg donation around the world since 1983. And while we wish someone was keeping a perfect tally, unfortunately all we can do is gather data from disparate sources. Here’s what we know:
- More than 70,000 donor conceived children have been born in the UK since 1991. The total number of babies born via egg donation in 2019 was 1,327, up 88% from 2009.
- In Australia and New Zealand, there were 3,316 IVF cycles performed using donor eggs (or embryos) in 2017 with 727 live births reported.
- In China, from 2013 to 2016, there were 1,642 donor egg cycles at 327 reporting fertility clinics, according to The Chinese Society of Reproductive Medicine (CSRM).
- In 2017, there were a total of 28,377 donor egg cycles reported in Europe, according to the European Society of Human Reproduction and Embryology (ESHRE).
Innovations in donor egg IVF
In addition to traditional donor egg treatments, there are now several newer technologies available that may help improve the success rates of donor egg treatment. For example, PGT can be used to screen embryos for genetic disorders before they are transferred to the uterus. This can help ensure that only healthy embryos are transferred, increasing the chances of a successful pregnancy.
There are also new methods of egg freezing that may help increase the availability of donor eggs. In the past, egg freezing was only recommended for women who were undergoing chemotherapy or other medical treatments that could damage their eggs. Today, however, more and more women are choosing to freeze their eggs for social reasons, such as delaying pregnancy until later in life. This has led to an increase in the availability of donor eggs, as more women are choosing to donate their frozen eggs to help others conceive.
At Cofertility, our program is unique. After meeting with hundreds of intended parents, egg donors, and donor-conceived people, we decided on an egg donation model that we think best serves everyone involved: egg sharing.
Here’s how it works: our unique model empowers women to take control of their own reproductive health while giving you the gift of a lifetime. Our donors aren’t doing it for cash – they keep half the eggs retrieved for their own future use, and donate half to your family.
We aim to be the best egg-sharing program, providing an experience that honors, respects, and uplifts everyone involved. Here’s what sets us apart:
- Human-centered. We didn’t like the status quo in egg donation. So we’re doing things differently, starting with our human-centered matching platform.
- Donor empowerment. Our model empowers donors to preserve their own fertility, while lifting you up on your own journey. It’s a win-win.
- Diversity: We’re proud of the fact that the donors on our platform are as diverse as the intended parents seeking to match with them. We work with intended parents to understand their own cultural values — including regional nuances — in hopes of finding them the perfect match.
- Baby guarantee. We truly want to help you bring your baby home, and we will re-match you for free until that happens.
- Lifetime support: Historically, other egg donation options have treated egg donor matching as a one-and-done experience. Beyond matching, beyond a pregnancy, beyond a birth…we believe in supporting the donor-conceived family for life. Our resources and education provide intended parents with the guidance they need to raise happy, healthy kids and celebrate their origin stories.
We are obsessed with improving the family-building journey — today or in the future — and are in an endless pursuit to make these experiences more positive!
What are the chances of pregnancy with donor eggs?
Using donor eggs can increase your chances of success. Around 53 percent of all donor egg cycles will result in at least one live birth. This percentage varies depending on the egg donor, recipient body mass index, stage of embryo at transfer, the number of oocytes retrieved, and the quality of the clinic. To get a better idea of your chances with donor eggs, talk to your fertility doctor who should be able to give you a better idea of your chances given your specific case.
At every age, the chances of birth with donor eggs is better, but those who benefit the most from donor eggs are women over 35 and those with low ovarian reserve. In fact, about one-quarter of women over 40 who succeeded with IVF did so through the use of donor eggs.
Becoming a parent via donor eggs
If you are looking to use donor eggs to build your family, we’d love to help. Cofertility is a human-first fertility ecosystem rewriting the egg donation experience. Our Family by Co platform serves as a more transparent, ethical egg donor matching platform. We are obsessed with improving the family-building journey — today or in the future — and are in an endless pursuit to make these experiences more positive. Create a free account today!
IVF after 40: Should I Use My Own Eggs or Donor Eggs?
For women who are in their 40s and considering IVF, a common question arises: should I use my own eggs or donor eggs? In this article, we’ll review valuable insights and information to help you make an informed decision on your IVF journey.
In recent years, advancements in reproductive technologies have given hope to many individuals and couples struggling with infertility. In vitro fertilization (IVF) in particular has enabled more people to become parents and grow their families. Some estimate that there have been over eight million babies born via IVF (including my own!). And 1 in 8 IVF cycles are estimated to involve eggs retrieved from a donor.
For women who are in their 40s and considering IVF, a common question arises: should I use my own eggs or donor eggs? In this article, we’ll review valuable insights and information to help you make an informed decision on your IVF journey.
How successful is IVF with your own eggs at 40?
Unfortunately, as we age our fertility naturally declines, and this decline becomes more significant after the age of 35. By the age of 40, a woman's ovarian reserve (the number and quality of eggs she has) is often diminished. Consequently, the success rates of IVF using a woman's own eggs decrease with age.
According to the Center for Disease Control (CDC) Assisted Reproductive Technology (ART) data, the live birth rate per IVF cycle for women over 40, using their own eggs, is 7.6%. This means that out of every 100 IVF cycles, only 7-8 result in a live birth.
While age plays a huge role in your chances of success, there are other factors that influence IVF outcomes including overall health, previous pregnancies, sperm health, the quality of the clinic, and the quality of the embryos. It is important to have realistic expectations when considering IVF with one's own eggs at the age of 40. A fertility doctor should be able to give you an idea of your chances of success with a proper fertility evaluation.
Should I try IVF with my own eggs or go straight to donor eggs?
Deciding whether to try IVF with your own eggs or proceed directly to donor eggs is a deeply personal and complex choice. Several factors should be taken into consideration, including your age, ovarian reserve, overall health, previous fertility history, and emotional readiness.
For those in their early 40s with a good ovarian reserve and no underlying fertility issues, attempting IVF with your own eggs may be a reasonable option. A fertility doctor can evaluate your specific circumstances and provide guidance based on their expertise.
On the other hand, some people want the fastest and most likely path to a healthy pregnancy and healthy baby. Especially if your journey has already been long, hard, and expensive, the decision to use donor eggs may bring renewed hope.
If your ovarian reserve is significantly diminished, or if previous attempts at IVF have been unsuccessful, using donor eggs may offer a higher chance of success. Donor eggs come from egg donors who have passed rigorous screening including ovarian reserve, reproductive health, general health, and genetics. This can increase the chances of achieving a successful pregnancy and live birth.
What is the success rate of IVF with donor eggs?
Donor egg IVF has the highest success rate of any fertility treatment. This means that donor eggs can drastically increase your chances of success! Around 53 percent of all donor egg cycles will result in at least one live birth. This percentage varies depending on the egg donor, recipient body mass index, stage of embryo at transfer, the number of oocytes retrieved, and the quality of the clinic.
At every age, the chances of birth with donor eggs is better, but those who benefit the most from donor eggs are women over 35 and those with low ovarian reserve. In fact, about one-quarter of women over 40 who succeeded with IVF did so through the use of donor eggs.
The chart was made using the SART Patient Predictor for an average woman (5’4”, 150 lbs) with diminished ovarian reserve. As you can see, the chances of live birth after one donor egg cycle is 54% for recipients under 40, and only goes down slightly after this.
What is the risk of miscarriage with donor eggs?
The short answer is that using donor eggs decreases the risk of miscarriage for most women. Especially for those who experienced previous miscarriages due to chromosomal abnormalities. Because egg donors are young (under 33) and medically cleared, outcomes with donor eggs are better than outcomes with a patient’s own eggs.
Age is a significant factor in miscarriage risk. As women age, the quality of their eggs decreases, and the risk of chromosomal abnormalities increases, which can lead to miscarriage. By using younger, healthier eggs from a donor, the risk of chromosomal abnormalities is significantly reduced.
Furthermore, the donor egg IVF process involves extensive screening of the donor to ensure that she is in good health and has a low risk of genetic disorders. This can further reduce the risk of miscarriage, as genetic disorders can be a significant contributor to pregnancy loss.
Pros and cons of using donor eggs vs. your own eggs
Let’s go over some of the advantages and disadvantages of using donor eggs for IVF.
The pros of using donor eggs include:
- Better egg quality: Eggs from donors tend to have better genetic quality, potentially reducing the risk of chromosomal abnormalities and genetic disorders.
- More embryos: A medically cleared egg donor is likely to lead to more embryos, often giving families more options, including gender selection.
- Increased success rates: Donor eggs come from young (under 33), healthy donors, which can improve the chances of successful fertilization, implantation, and pregnancy – getting a baby in your arms sooner.
The challenges of using donor eggs include:
- Emotional considerations: Using donor eggs may bring up complex emotional issues, such as feelings of loss, grief, or concerns about genetic connections. It is important to seek counseling or support to address these emotions.
- Financial costs: Using donor eggs adds an additional expense to the IVF process.
Find an amazing egg donor at Cofertility
At Cofertility, our program is unique. After meeting with hundreds of intended parents, egg donors, and donor-conceived people, we decided on an egg donation model that we think best serves everyone involved: egg sharing. We didn’t invent the concept of egg sharing, but we are the first to take it national (and even global!).
Here’s how it works: our unique model empowers women to take control of their own reproductive health while giving you the gift of a lifetime. Our donors aren’t doing it for cash – they keep half the eggs retrieved for their own future use, and donate half to your family.
We aim to be the best egg sharing program, providing an experience that honors, respects, and uplifts everyone involved. Here’s what sets us apart:
- Baby guarantee. We truly want to help you bring your baby home, and we will re-match you for free until that happens.
- Donor empowerment. Our model empowers donors to preserve their own fertility, while lifting you up on your own journey. It’s a win-win.
- Diversity: We’re proud about the fact that the donors on our platform are as diverse as the intended parents seeking to match with them. We work with intended parents to understand their own cultural values — including regional nuances — in hopes of finding them the perfect match.
- Human-centered. We didn’t like the status quo in egg donation. So we’re doing things differently, starting with our human-centered matching platform.
- Lifetime support: Historically, other egg donation options have treated egg donor matching as a one-and-done experience. Beyond matching, beyond a pregnancy, beyond a birth…we believe in supporting the donor-conceived family for life. Our resources and education provide intended parents with the guidance they need to raise happy, healthy kids and celebrate their origin stories.
At Cofertility, the average number of mature eggs a family receives and fertilizes is 12. Some intended parents want to do two egg retrievals with the donor which is definitely possible. We also ask each of our donors whether they are open to a second cycle as part of the initial application — many report that they are!
You can see how many eggs are retrieved in the first cycle and go from there. If, for any reason, the eggs retrieved in that round do not lead to a live birth, our baby guarantee will kick in and we’ll re-match you at no additional match deposit or Cofertility coordination fee.
We are obsessed with improving the family-building journey — today or in the future — and are in an endless pursuit to make these experiences more positive. Create a free account to get started today!
How much do donor eggs cost?
The cost of egg sharing can vary depending on the fertility clinic and the specific program. However, in general, a donor egg journey with Cofertility will cost around $26,700.
This includes:
- Match deposit: $500
- Cofertility’s Coordination Fee: $6,500
- Administrative fees: ~$5,700
- Medical expenses associated with the donor’s screening and retrieval: can vary by clinic but are typically around $14,000
For a more detailed breakdown, view our pricing page.
While cycle administrative fees are non-refundable, our one-time Cofertility Coordination Fee comes with a baby guarantee. This means that if anything happens that prevents you from a live birth, we’ll re-match you at no additional Cofertility fee until you bring your baby home.
Summing it up
While IVF with one's own eggs can still offer a chance of success after 40, the use of donor eggs can significantly increase the chances of achieving a successful pregnancy and live birth.
Deciding between using your own eggs or donor eggs for IVF is a deeply personal choice that may be weighing on you. If you are hesitating to use donor eggs, we highly recommend connecting with a parent or support group of others who have walked down this path. We have never met a parent through egg donation who has regretted their decision. A fertility psychologist who has experience in this area can also provide guidance.
Ultimately, the goal is to make an informed choice that aligns with your desires, values, and the best chances of achieving a healthy pregnancy and fulfilling parenthood. Wherever you land, we wish you all the best.
Read more:
Does Donor Egg IVF Increase Chances of Twins?
Does donor egg IVF increase the chances of conceiving twins? In this guide, I’ll dive into the essentials of donor egg IVF, its odds for success, the chances for twins, and the potential risks associated with multiples.
The world of fertility treatments is a rapidly-evolving landscape, teeming with options, intricacies, and promises of renewed hope for LGBTQ+ families as well as those struggling to conceive. Among these treatments, donor egg in vitro fertilization (IVF) has become an increasingly common path, with a substantial 12% of all IVF cycles in the U.S., over 16,000 a year, involving eggs retrieved from a donor.
But does donor egg IVF increase the chances of conceiving twins? In this guide, I’ll dive into the essentials of donor egg IVF, its odds for success, the chances for twins, and the potential risks associated with multiples.
What is donor egg IVF?
IVF with donor eggs is a medical procedure where eggs are collected from a donor, fertilized in a laboratory with the intended father's or a donor's sperm, and the resulting embryo is then implanted in the uterus of the intended mother or a gestational carrier.
This process may be an option for women with diminished ovarian reserve, repeated IVF failure, infertility due to recurrent miscarriage, or those who carry genetic disorders that they do not want to pass on to their children. It is also an option for LGBTQ+ families and single males.
Donor egg IVF typically involves several steps: the selection of an egg donor, extraction and fertilization of the donor eggs, and transfer of the embryo(s). To learn more about the process, check out this article.
What are the odds of getting pregnant with donor eggs?
Success rates for donor egg IVF are often more promising compared to traditional IVF. At Cofertility, the average number of mature eggs a family receives and fertilizes is 12. Some intended parents want to do two egg retrievals with the donor which is definitely possible. We also ask each of our donors whether they are open to a second cycle as part of the initial application — many report that they are!
Around 53 percent of all donor egg cycles will result in at least one live birth. This percentage varies depending on the egg donor, recipient body mass index, stage of embryo at transfer, the number of oocytes retrieved, and the quality of the clinic.
At every age, the chances of birth with donor eggs is better, but those who benefit the most from donor eggs are women over 35 and those with low ovarian reserve. In fact, about one-quarter of women over 40 who succeeded with IVF did so through the use of donor eggs.
The chart was made using the SART Patient Predictor for an average woman (5’4”, 150 lbs) with diminished ovarian reserve. As you can see, the chances of live birth after one donor egg cycle is 54% for recipients under 40, and only goes down slightly after this.
The advantage is primarily due to the utilization of eggs from younger donors, typically between the ages of 21 and 34.
It’s important to remember that your age when you get pregnant is not as important as the age of the eggs with which you get pregnant. The success of egg donation depends on many factors, but is not considered to be related to the age of the recipient.
Chances of twins with donor eggs
One question we get a lot is the likelihood of conceiving twins with donor egg IVF.
According to the CDC, in 2021 live births from donor egg IVF had a slightly higher chance of twins compared to IVF with a patient’s own eggs.
- General population: 3.2%
- IVF with patient’s own eggs: 5.2%
- Donor egg IVF: 6.0%
- Donor embryo IVF: 7.4%
But as you can see from the data above, IVF (regardless of whose eggs are used) is associated with higher chances of twins.
How does that work? First, the chances of an embryo splitting and becoming monozygotic twins (aka identical twins) is 2.25 times higher with IVF than with unassisted conception.
But twins after IVF are usually due to a patient having more than one embryo transferred to the uterus, making them dizygotic twins. When IVF was just starting out, there was no genetic testing and fertility doctors would transfer multiple embryos at one time. This led to a multiples rate of over 20% for those who underwent IVF. Nowadays, as technology has advanced, single embryo transfers are the norm, and the incidence of twins has gone down drastically.
Can I transfer two donor egg embryos?
The transfer of two embryos is an option in some fertility clinics, and it often increases the chances of pregnancy. However, it's important to consider the associated risks, benefits, and guidelines.
The American Society for Reproductive Medicine (ASRM) recommends that clinicians and patients carefully discuss the number of embryos to be transferred, considering factors like maternal age, embryo quality, and the patient's individual medical situation. In some cases, transferring two embryos may be a viable option, while in others, a single embryo transfer may be the preferred route to minimize the risk of multiples,
Risk of pregnancy with multiples
While the prospect of twins may be appealing to some, there are increased risks associated with multiple pregnancies. Twin pregnancies are associated with higher rates of preterm birth, low birth weight, and maternal complications such as gestational diabetes and preeclampsia.
- Preterm birth, defined as delivery before 37 weeks of gestation, occurs more frequently in multiple pregnancies. Preterm infants may face an array of health challenges, including respiratory distress syndrome, infections, and long-term developmental issues. These risks underscore the importance of careful monitoring during pregnancy and specialized neonatal care following birth.
- Low birth weight, often linked to preterm birth, is a common occurrence in twin pregnancies. Infants born with low birth weight are at increased risk for health problems both immediately after birth and later in life. Challenges may include difficulties with feeding and temperature regulation, as well as potential long-term developmental delays.
- Other complications from twin pregnancies due to added stress on the mother's body can lead to an increased risk of gestational diabetes and preeclampsia, a condition characterized by high blood pressure and damage to organs such as the liver and kidneys. Other potential complications may include an increased likelihood of cesarean section (C-section), excessive bleeding during childbirth, and higher rates of postpartum depression.
You should understand these risks and engage in thoughtful, well-informed planning and decision-making with your fertility doctor if you are considering the transfer of multiple embryos in donor egg IVF.
The bottom line
Donor egg IVF represents a beacon of hope for many aspiring parents. With its relatively high success rate, more and more families are turning to donor eggs to build their family.
However, the decision to pursue this treatment—and whether to transfer one or two embryos—requires careful consideration of the odds, potential risks, and individual medical circumstances. Consulting with fertility doctors, understanding the available scientific data, and considering personal preferences and ethical considerations will equip you to make informed choices on your journey towards parenthood. We wish you all the best!
Learn about egg sharing
At Cofertility, our program is unique. After meeting with hundreds of intended parents, egg donors, and donor-conceived people, we decided on an egg donation model that we think best serves everyone involved: egg sharing.
Here’s how it works: our unique model empowers women to take control of their own reproductive health while giving you the gift of a lifetime. Our donors aren’t doing it for cash – they keep half the eggs retrieved for their own future use, and donate half to your family.
We aim to be the best egg sharing program, providing an experience that honors, respects, and uplifts everyone involved. Here’s what sets us apart:
- Human-centered. We didn’t like the status quo in egg donation. So we’re doing things differently, starting with our human-centered matching platform.
- Donor empowerment. Our model empowers donors to preserve their own fertility, while lifting you up on your own journey. It’s a win-win.
- Diversity: We’re proud about the fact that the donors on our platform are as diverse as the intended parents seeking to match with them. We work with intended parents to understand their own cultural values — including regional nuances — in hopes of finding them the perfect match.
- Baby guarantee. We truly want to help you bring your baby home, and we will re-match you for free until that happens.
- Lifetime support: Historically, other egg donation options have treated egg donor matching as a one-and-done experience. Beyond matching, beyond a pregnancy, beyond a birth…we believe in supporting the donor-conceived family for life. Our resources and education provide intended parents with the guidance they need to raise happy, healthy kids and celebrate their origin stories.
We are obsessed with improving the family-building journey — today or in the future — and are in an endless pursuit to make these experiences more positive. Create a free account to get started today!
Egg Donor IVF: What You Need to Know
Using donor eggs can sometimes be an overwhelming process, and there are many things that you may not be aware of until you start the process. In this article, I will lay out some things that you should know about using donor eggs.
Using donor eggs can be a life-changing experience for couples struggling with infertility. For many, it is the best way to achieve a successful pregnancy and start a family. However, using donor eggs can sometimes be an overwhelming process, and there are many things that you may not be aware of until you start the process. In this article, I will lay out some things that you should know about using donor eggs.
If you’ve done IVF before, you know the drill
IVF can be broken down into three phases:
- The retrieval phase, where the eggs are matured and extracted
- The embryo phase, where eggs are fertilized and monitored in the lab
- And the transfer phase, where an embryo is transferred to the uterus of the intended mother or gestational carrier
With donor eggs, the egg donor undergoes the retrieval and then her job is done. The eggs are then fertilized with the sperm of the intended father (or a sperm donor) and grown for three to seven days under the careful eye of a trained embryologist. At this point, some families opt to do genetic testing. Once the embryo is ready, the intended mother, or a gestational carrier, takes over to carry the pregnancy to term.
Unless your doctor has determined that it is impossible or dangerous for you to safely carry a pregnancy, you can absolutely undergo IVF and get pregnant with donor eggs.
Choosing an egg donor is a huge decision
Finding an egg donor can be a challenging and time-consuming process, and rightfully so! You want to ensure that you find the right match that you feel good about. When choosing a donor, it's essential to consider factors such as physical traits, medical history, and personality. At Cofertility, we have hundreds of pre-qualified donors ready to be matched. You can create a free account to begin your search.
Medical screening of the donor will help increase your chances of success
Donors are screened for various genetic and infectious diseases before they can donate their eggs. This screening process is designed to ensure that the donor is healthy and that there is minimal risk of passing on any genetic or infectious diseases to the recipient or the baby. Additionally, their ovarian reserve is tested to help ensure that they are likely to produce enough mature eggs. The screening definitely adds time to the process, but is intended to help increase your chances of success.
You’ll need a lawyer who specializes in third-party reproduction
There are state-specific legal considerations to be aware of when using donor eggs. It's essential to have an iron-clad legal agreement in place that outlines the terms of the donation and the rights and responsibilities of all parties involved. No clinic will accept a patient and egg donor without this contract in place. If you work with Cofertility, we will help ensure you and your donor have expert lawyers drafting this contract.
Donor eggs can increase your chances of success
Around 53 percent of all donor egg cycles will result in at least one live birth. This percentage varies depending on the egg donor, recipient body mass index, stage of embryo at transfer, the number of oocytes retrieved, and the quality of the clinic.
At every age, the chances of birth with donor eggs is better, but those who benefit the most from donor eggs are women over 35 and those with low ovarian reserve. In fact, about one-quarter of women over 40 who succeeded with IVF did so through the use of donor eggs.
The chart was made using the SART Patient Predictor for an average woman (5’4”, 150 lbs) with diminished ovarian reserve. As you can see, the chances of live birth after one donor egg cycle is 54% for recipients under 40, and only goes down slightly after this.
At Cofertility, the average number of mature eggs a family receives and fertilizes is 12. Some intended parents want to do two egg retrievals with the donor which is definitely possible. We also ask each of our donors whether they are open to a second cycle as part of the initial application — many report that they are!
You can see how many eggs are retrieved in the first cycle and go from there. If, for any reason, the eggs retrieved in that round do not lead to a live birth, our baby guarantee will kick in and we’ll re-match you at no additional match deposit or Cofertility coordination fee.
It might get emotional
Using donor eggs can be an emotional journey for intended parents. It can create feelings of loss, sadness, anger, and possibly even shame. You may feel a deep sense of grief over not having a genetically linked child. Give yourself space to express your feelings and time to process this loss. Avoidance and distraction can only be helpful for so long. Allow yourself to sit with your feelings. Give yourself permission to move forward at your own pace.
Remember, DNA is a small part of who we are. All human beings are 99.9 percent identical in their genetic makeup and nurture plays an enormous role in who we become and who we bond with.
It will be expensive
IVF alone is expensive, and then there’s donor eggs. The total cost can end up being tens of thousands of dollars, depending on the clinic, the egg donor, and if your insurance or employer covers any of it.
Know this: our donors aren’t doing it for the money. At Cofertility, our donors freeze their eggs for free in exchange for donating half of the eggs to your family. This saves families tens of thousands of dollars on donor compensation.
You won’t regret it
Ask anyone who has had a child, born with or without some type of assistance, and they will all tell you the same thing: parenting is the greatest - yet hardest - thing they have ever done. It doesn’t matter how the child came into their lives, the role and relationship of parent and child is the same.
When working with parents who had donor conceived children, their only real regret was they wished they had done this sooner. They wished they had let go of their preconceived notions that a baby who looks like them or who shares their genes is the only way to be a parent. That bringing a child into their lives using alternative methods means the child won’t see them as their real parent, or that they will not bond. Read more in Will I Regret Using Donor Eggs?
In summary
Using donor eggs can be an excellent option for couples struggling with infertility. It's important to be aware of the various factors involved, including finding a donor, medical screening, legal considerations, success rates, emotional impact, cost, and talking to your child. With the right support and information, using donor eggs can be a positive and fulfilling experience, leading to the creation of a loving and happy family.
Egg Donation and Blood Types
When it comes to egg donation, you may be wondering if the blood type of the egg donor matters. While it is not necessary for the donor to have the same blood type as either parent, it’s helpful to understand how blood types work.
When it comes to egg donation, you may be wondering if the blood type of the egg donor matters. While it is not necessary for the donor to have the same blood type as either parent, it’s helpful to understand how blood types work. In this article, we’ll review the blood types, how they are inherited, and when blood type matching matters.
What are blood types?
Blood types are determined by the presence or absence of certain antigens, or proteins, on the surface of our red blood cells. Blood types include A, B, AB, and O. Blood type A has the A antigen, blood type B has the B antigen, blood type AB has both A and B antigens, and blood type O has neither A nor B antigens.
Within each blood type, there is a positive or negative (A+, A-, and so on). The positive or negative sign next to the blood groups is known as the Rhesus (Rh) factor. Rh factor is independent of blood type. It is determined by the presence or absence of a specific antigen on the surface of red blood cells. If a person has the Rh antigen, they are Rh-positive. If they do not have the Rh antigen, they are Rh-negative. Most people, about 85%, are Rh-positive.
According to the San Diego Blood Bank, the average distribution of the blood types in the United States are:
- O Positive (O +): 38%
- O Negative (O -): 7%
- A Positive (A +): 34%
- A Negative (A -): 6%
- B Positive (B +): 9%
- B Negative (B -): 2%
- AB Positive (AB +): 3%
- AB Negative (AB -): 1%
How is a child’s blood type determined in egg donation?
A baby's blood type is determined by the combination of genes inherited from the egg and sperm. Each passes on one of their two ABO alleles to the child. The combination of these alleles determines the baby's blood type. For example, if the egg donor is type A and the biological father (or sperm donor) is type B, the baby could be type A, type B, type AB, or even type O.
Unless both the egg donor and intended father have blood type O, in which case the baby would definitely be type O, you would need a blood test to determine the baby's blood type.
But remember how we said everyone also has an Rh factor, that plus or minus after the letter? A child inherits one Rh allele from the egg donor and one from the intended father. If both are Rh-positive, then the child will be RH-positive. If both are Rh-negative, then the child will be Rh-negative. If one is Rh-negative and the other is Rh-positive, then the child could be either.
Does the egg donor determine the blood type of the child?
The blood type of a child is determined by the combination of genes inherited from the egg and sperm. Each contributes one of two possible alleles (versions) for each gene that codes for the blood type. The Rh blood group system is determined by another gene on chromosome 1 that has two alleles: D and d. The D allele codes for the RhD protein, and the d allele codes for no Rh protein.
While the egg and sperm decide the genetic makeup of the child, they do not have control over the specific alleles that the child inherits. That is determined by the process of meiosis, which randomly selects which sperm or egg cell will fertilize the other.
What is Rh incompatibility?
Rh incompatibility occurs when a pregnant woman (either an intended mother or gestational carrier) who is Rh-negative carries a baby who is Rh-positive. Her immune system may recognize the baby's Rh-positive blood cells as foreign and produce antibodies against them. This can cause her immune system to attack and destroy the baby's red blood cells, leading to a condition called hemolytic disease of the newborn (HDN). HDN can cause serious complications for the baby, including anemia, jaundice, brain damage, and even death.
It’s important to know if you’re at risk for HDN. But the good news is that HDN can be prevented by administering a medication called Rh immunoglobulin (RhIg) or Rhogam to the mother or gestational carrier during pregnancy, which helps prevent her body from making antibodies against the baby's blood cells.
If you or your gestational carrier are Rh negative, consult with your doctor about choosing a donor who is Rh positive.
Is it possible for a child to have a different blood type than both of its parents?
Yup! As you can see in the chart shared above, there are many cases where a child would have a different blood type from their biological parents. For instance, if the egg donor was blood type A and the intended father was type B, the child could be blood type O.
Why would someone want an egg donor with the same blood type?
There are a couple reasons someone might want an egg donor with a specific blood type.
First, they may want to avoid rare blood types in the rare situation that the child would need a blood transfusion. Blood transfusions can only be given to individuals with compatible blood types. For example, if someone with blood type A receives a blood transfusion from someone with blood type B, their body may react negatively and cause serious health issues. Remember though, unless both the egg donor and intended father are type O (in which case the only option is for the child to be type O), there is no guarantee that a child will be the same blood type as one parent.
Second, blood type can also play a role in pregnancy and childbirth. If a mother or gestational carrier is Rh-negative and the baby is Rh-positive, the mother's body may produce antibodies that attack the baby's red blood cells, which can lead to a condition called hemolytic disease of the newborn. However, this is treatable and not a reason to pass on an egg donor.
Third, some parents may want to increase the chances of their child having (or not having) a certain blood type. There is some evidence that certain blood types are more protective against certain health conditions like heart attacks, memory loss, and cancer.
Lastly, parents who do not plan on telling their child about their donor-conceived origins may want to have a child with similar blood type. Although this is your family and you get to decide how / if to tell your story, research has shown over and over the importance of openness and honesty in telling children their conception story and telling it early.
Is it better to find an egg donor who has the same blood type as myself?
So does blood type matter? It is not necessarily "better" to find an egg donor who has the same blood type as yourself. It’s helpful to know the blood type of the donor, but blood type doesn’t need to be a reason to choose a donor, and most parents have other attributes that are more important to them.
As mentioned above, having an egg donor who is the same blood type as the intended mother or gestational carrier can help reduce the risk of Rh incompatibility between the baby and the intended mother, which can cause serious complications for the baby if not treated. However, blood type matching is not necessary for egg donation, and many successful pregnancies and healthy babies are born from egg donation despite not having a blood type match.
Ultimately, the decision of whether to find an egg donor with the same blood type as yourself should be made in consultation with a fertility doctor, who can provide more information and guidance on the risks and benefits of blood type matching in your specific situation.
Cofertility is a human-first fertility ecosystem rewriting the egg freezing and egg donation experience. Our Family by Co platform serves as a more transparent, ethical egg donor matching platform. We are obsessed with improving the family-building journey — today or in the future — and are in an endless pursuit to make these experiences more positive. Create a free account today!
What to Do if Your Culture or Religion Doesn't Believe in Egg Donation
Religion can be a great source of comfort and solace during the most difficult of times, but it can also impact help seeking behavior, especially when it comes to fertility treatment.
Religion can be a great source of comfort and solace during the most difficult of times. Religion has been implicated in reduced mortality, expedited recovery from illness, and improved mental health. It can encourage healthy lifestyles, provide social support, and provide meaning to life. But it can also impact help seeking behavior, especially when it comes to fertility treatment. Religiosity has been associated with greater concerns about infertility treatment, which, in turn, decreases the likelihood of help seeking (i.e IVF, egg donation etc).
Religion and assisted reproductive technology (ART)
The use of donor gametes to create embryos can ignite some serious debate in many faith circles. Some faiths say fertility treatments go against their beliefs and should not be used, even if it means someone will never become a parent otherwise. Meanwhile, other religions have no issues with it at all, as long as certain “rules” are followed.
A Pew Research study conducted in 2013 asked people living in the United States about the moral acceptability of using in-vitro fertilization to have a family. One-third said it is morally acceptable, 12% said it was morally wrong, and 46% said it was not even a moral issue. The survey found modest differences in opinion among social and demographic groups, including religious groups, about the moral acceptability of IVF.
But for many religious people their religious beliefs strongly inform their understanding of fertility and parenthood. Procreation can be an important tenet of a religion along with prescribed roles for the male and female partner when it comes to parenthood. So what if you want a family and the only way that family can be created is through egg donation? And what if you are someone who holds strongly to their faith - a faith that carried you through troubled times - only to discover that very faith does not give you its blessing to have the family you have prayed for?
What if you are someone who holds strongly to their faith - a faith that carried you through troubled times - only to discover that very faith does not give you its blessing to have the family you have prayed for?
How do I navigate making a decision?
You want to adhere to the teachings of your religion and at the same time you also have a very strong desire to have a child. What should you consider when deciding how you want to proceed so you can feel good about your decision? How can you find a way to remain connected to your beliefs even if your choice is different from what is taught by your religion?
Give yourself permission to imagine different options
Play your life tape forward and really imagine how it feels to go against your beliefs in order to achieve pregnancy. Now imagine how it feels to stay strong in your beliefs and never be a parent. Discuss these options with your partner. Write them down in a journal and come back to them in a few weeks. Does one evoke a bigger emotion? Does one feel better than the other? There is no right or wrong and there is no judgment - you are allowed to imagine and really think through your different options.
Speak to trusted members of your community.
Speak to respected and trusted members of your faith community. Ask questions to fully understand what your religion’s expectations are regarding parenthood and regarding ART and IVF and donor eggs. What are your expectations? Do they match or are they very different?
If they are different, would you ever make a decision to pursue donor egg IVF that isn’t sanctioned by your religious teachings? If yes, how would your community support you? Would you be ostracized? What does it mean to be against these teachings? If you would never go against the teachings, then how can your religion provide guidelines about living child free? Would you be able to find peace regarding infertility from your religious teachings? Studies have shown that infertile women with higher levels of spiritual well-being reported fewer depressive symptoms and less overall distress from their infertility experience because of the support from their religious community.
Summing it up
Faith can be an essential aspect of a person’s life. Sometimes it is possible that not all tenants align. But that does not necessarily mean that you forsake your faith, nor does that necessarily mean you give up your desire for a family. It may mean digging even further and leaning even stronger into your faith. It may mean exploring all your different options by researching, talking, asking questions, and praying. All of these things can open doors and create alternative paths to parenthood that you may not have ever considered.
Adoption vs Egg Donation: How Do I Choose?
The path to parenthood can take many roads. There is no single “right way” to become a parent, so you may be debating which path is the right one for you.
The path to parenthood can take many roads. There is no single “right way” to become a parent, so you may be debating which path is the right one for you. Two options include egg donation or adoption. If you’re asking yourself “should I adopt or find a donor?” then this article is for you. Let’s delve into some of the pros and cons to see what feels best for you and your future family.
Egg donation
The first child born from egg donation was reported in Australia in 1983 and the first American child born from egg donation was in February 1984. Before this medical intervention, for most, adoption was the only path to parenthood. Egg donation opened the door for more people to become parents. With egg donation, those who are experiencing infertility, have high risks of passing on genetic disorders to their offspring, or have dealt with multiple IVF failures in the past, can have children.
Pros of using donor eggs
- You can fulfill your dream of raising a child and becoming a parent.
- Donor egg IVF has high success rates, allowing childless people / couples to start a family.
- The opportunity to have a child with a biological relation to the father and biologically related siblings.
- If you are biologically female and plan on carrying the pregnancy, you can still experience delivery and nursing.
Cons of using donor eggs
- It can take a long time to find a donor that you connect with.
- It can be expensive, though with our Family by Co platform, we’ve removed cash compensation for donors from the equation. Instead, our members freeze their eggs entirely for free when giving half of the eggs retrieved to your family.
- Loss of a genetic tie to the mother.
- Fear about telling your child and other people in your life
- There are no guarantees that an embryo will be created.
Adoption
Adoption is the legal process through which a person assumes the parenting responsibilities for someone else's biological child. The concept of adoption exists across cultures and countries and may be traced all the way back to 6th century AD Roman Law. During this time, if the family patriarch did not have a male heir, an heir could be adopted. This was important for the Romans because by adopting one another’s sons, the nobility ensured the wealth would stay within a few families. In the United States, the first modern adoption legislation, the Adoption of Children Act, was passed in Massachusetts in 1851. This act required judges to determine that adoptive parents had “sufficient ability to bring up the child” and that “it is fit and proper that such adoption should take effect.” Today, adoption can take many forms - open, semi-open, domestic and international.
Pros of adoption
- You can fulfill your dream of raising a child and becoming a parent.
- You get to share your love with a child that may otherwise not have had the best opportunities in life. Studies have shown that adoptive children are less likely to abuse drugs or alcohol and more likely to graduate from high school and go on to college than those who remain in foster care. They are also more likely to have successful careers and strong relationships.
- Because you are helping birth parents who may have not otherwise been able to care for the child, the parents can feel at peace knowing their child will be loved and taken care of.
Cons of adoption
- It can take a long time - anywhere from 9 to 12 months - to find an adoption opportunity.
- It can be very expensive. For domestic infant adoption the cost can be anywhere from $40k to $70k and up.
- The birth parent has a right to change their mind. Depending on the state, that may be anytime while pregnant or up to 30 days after the adoption.
- Since most adoptions are open, there is a chance that the birth parent may want to be a part of the child’s life, and that may be difficult for some adopting parents.
- Different states have different laws on who can become an adoptive parent based on age, sexual orientation and even religious affiliation.
Embryo donation
Embryo donation is typically not the first choice for most couples starting infertility treatment, but if you have not been successful with traditional infertility treatment using your own eggs and/or sperm, or are having problems finding a donor, this is a great viable option.
Pros of embryo donation
- You can fulfill your dream of raising a child and becoming a parent.
- Because the embryos are already created and readily available, you can get started whenever you are ready.
- Can be less expensive than egg and sperm donation and adoption.
- You can still experience pregnancy, delivery, and nursing.
- There won’t be a genetic imbalance if only one partner uses a donor.
Cons of embryo donation
- Embryo donation is technically an adoption. Because you may not have all the medical history of one or both the donors, it can potentially introduce some unpredictability into the genetic makeup of the family.
- Although readily available, because it is an adoption, it can still sometimes take a long time to match with an embryo.
- There are no guarantees that an embryo transfer will be successful and result in a pregnancy and delivery.
Which one is right for me?
The decision to use medical intervention to conceive a child or to go through an adoption agency to start a family is an extremely personal one. As you can see above, all paths come with their own set of unique challenges. The best thing you can do is become educated in all your options. Get second and third expert opinions. Seek out legal counsel and ask questions. No one but you can make this decision, but whatever decision you choose, know that you are not alone. Many have walked down these roads to have their family and none of them would have done it any other way.
What Parents via Egg Donation Want You To Know
We spoke to several parents who conceived their children via donor eggs to learn more about their experiences and what they want others to know.
In vitro fertilization (IVF) using donated eggs, or donor egg IVF, has revolutionized the way people approach family building. For many individuals and couples, it offers an opportunity for one parent to have a biological connection where it may not have been possible otherwise.
We spoke to several parents who conceived their children via donor eggs to learn more about their experiences and what they want others to know.
The decision to use donor eggs
For most parents who conceived via an egg donor, the decision to use this approach comes after much reflection and research. Many report trying other methods, including fertility treatments, before turning to donor egg IVF.
While the process of using donor eggs can be daunting, many parents report feeling a sense of relief once they made the decision. "It was like a weight was lifted off our shoulders," says Megan*, a mother of two via donor eggs. "We had been trying for years with no success, and once we made the decision to use donor eggs, it was like a weight was lifted off our shoulders. We finally had a plan in place."
The emotional rollercoaster of donor egg IVF
For parents who use donor eggs, the emotional journey of IVF can be intense. There can be a range of feelings involved, including grief, loss, guilt, and anxiety. This is especially true for those who experience a failed cycle or miscarriage.
"I wish I had known just how emotional it was going to be," says Sarah, a mother via donor eggs. "I went into it thinking it was just a medical procedure, but it's so much more than that. You're creating a life, and it's emotional and intense. It's important to have a support system in place."
Genetic connection: the pros and cons
One of the most significant considerations for parents who use donor eggs is the lack of genetic connection between the parent and child. While some parents report feeling a sense of loss or grief around this fact, others find that it is not a significant issue.
"I was worried about the genetic connection at first," says Chase, a father of two via donor eggs. "But now that they're here, it's not something that I think about very often. They're our children, and that's what matters."
Another consideration is how to approach the topic of donor eggs with the child. Many parents choose to be open and honest about their child's conception, while others wait until the child is older to broach the subject.
"There's no right or wrong way to approach it," says Lisa, a mother of one via donor eggs. "But the important thing is that you approach it."
Navigating societal stigmas
Despite the increasing prevalence of donor egg IVF, there can still be societal stigmas and misconceptions surrounding the procedure. Some parents report feeling judged or misunderstood by others, including family members.
"I wish people understood that it's not something we did lightly," says Jennifer, a mother of one via donor eggs. "It was a difficult decision, and it's not something we take lightly. We wanted to have a family, and donor eggs gave us that opportunity."
Moving forward: advice for other parents
For parents who are considering using donor eggs, the advice from those who have gone through the process is invaluable. Here are some tips and recommendations to keep in mind:
- Seek support: Whether it's from a therapist, support group, or loved ones, having a support system in place can be incredibly helpful.
- Educate yourself: Do your research and learn as much as you can about the process and what to expect.
- Be open and honest: Whether it's with your partner, family, or child, being open and honest about your journey can help foster a sense of understanding and acceptance.
- Don't be afraid to ask for help: IVF can be expensive and overwhelming, but there are resources available to help offset costs and provide guidance.
In the end, the decision to use donor eggs is a personal one that requires careful consideration and reflection. However, for those who embark on this journey, the rewards can be immeasurable.
As Kamala, a mother of twins via donor eggs, says, "I wouldn't change a thing. Our children are our world, and we're so grateful for the opportunity to have them in our lives. They are ours."
*Names have been changed
Cofertility is a human-first fertility ecosystem rewriting the egg freezing and egg donation experience. Our Family by Co platform serves as a more transparent, ethical egg donor matching platform. We are obsessed with improving the family-building journey — today or in the future — and are in an endless pursuit to make these experiences more positive. Create a free account today!
Five Parents Share What They Wish They Had Known Before Pursuing Donor Eggs
Donor egg IVF has become an increasingly common option for those who face obstacles in their journey to conceive. LGBTQ+ families, those who experience fertility challenges, and individuals with genetic disorders are among the many who benefit from using donor eggs. We spoke to five parents who used donor eggs to conceive their children, and asked them what they wished they had known before starting the journey. Here’s what they had to say.
Donor egg IVF has become an increasingly common option for those who face obstacles in their journey to conceive. LGBTQ+ families, those who experience fertility challenges, and individuals with genetic disorders are among the many who benefit from using donor eggs.
We spoke to five parents who used donor eggs to conceive their children, and asked them what they wished they had known before starting the journey. Here’s what they had to say.
"I wish I knew that genetic connection doesn't define love"
The realization that genetic connection does not define the love between parent and child (or any two relatives for that matter!) is a significant one that many parents through egg donation come to embrace. While it can be a difficult concept to grapple with initially, the love and bond that develops between parent and child is not contingent upon shared DNA. The experience of raising a child through donor eggs can be just as fulfilling and meaningful as any other parenting journey, and the love between parent and child can be just as strong and deep.
Tiffany and James* struggled with infertility for years before turning to donor eggs. Tiffany admits that she initially worried about the lack of genetic connection with her child, but quickly realized that it didn't matter. "The moment I held my son in my arms, I knew that genetics didn't define the love I have for him," she says. "He's my child, no matter how he was conceived."
"I wish I knew that it's okay to grieve the loss of genetic connection”
For the Smith family, the decision to use donor eggs came after years of failed fertility treatments. While they’re overjoyed to have her twin daughters, Sarah says she wishes she had allowed herself more time to grieve the loss of genetic connection. "I was so excited to just move forward and finally have a baby, I didn’t give myself time to grieve," she says. “It wasn’t until years later when I finally started seeing a therapist that I realized I had underlying insecurities and grief that I needed to process.”
“I wish I knew that everyone comments on your child’s features, whether your child is genetically related to you or not"
Rachel and her husband now have two children - one biological and one donor-conceived. Rachel shares that one of the most surprising things she's encountered is how people always try to ask where certain traits come from. "It doesn't matter if your child is genetically related to you or not - people are always trying to find similarities," she says. "I never realized it until I had a donor-conceived child, but people are constantly asking where certain traits come from, from height to personality to hair color" Rachel advises other parents to embrace the unique traits and qualities of each child and not worry too much about what others think. "At the end of the day, every child is a miracle and a blessing," she says.
"I wish I knew there is absolutely no shame in using donor eggs"
"I wish I knew there is absolutely no shame in using donor eggs," says Liz, a mother of two donor-conceived children. Liz went through several rounds of IVF before deciding to use donor eggs. "At first, we felt like we were going too far to have a child," she says. "But once we made the decision to use donor eggs, we realized that there was no shame in doing what was best for our family." Liz urges other parents considering donor eggs to remember that their decision is a personal one, and that there is no one-size-fits-all solution to fertility struggles. "There is no right or wrong way to start a family, as long as there is love and commitment," she adds.
"I wish I knew that it's important to talk about the process with your child"
For Rohan and his husband, using donor eggs to conceive their daughter was a no-brainer. However, as their daughter got older, they realized the importance of talking openly and honestly about the process with her. "We didn't want her to find out later and feel like we had kept something from her," Rohan says. "So we started talking about it early on and she's grown up knowing that she was conceived with help from a donor."
Using donor eggs to conceive can be a complicated and emotional process, but these parents have all found their own unique ways of navigating it. Whether it's acknowledging the loss of genetic connection or celebrating the love and connection they have with their child, each of them has a story to tell about their journey to parenthood. And their stories offer a reminder that there's no one "right" way to build a family.
Cofertility is a human-first fertility ecosystem rewriting the egg freezing and egg donation experience. Our Family by Co platform serves as a more transparent, ethical egg donor matching platform. We are obsessed with improving the family-building journey — today or in the future — and are in an endless pursuit to make these experiences more positive. Create a free account today!
*Names have been changed.
Nature vs. Nurture: What Parents Via Egg Donation Need to Know
When it comes to the development of a child, the age-old debate of nature vs. nurture comes into play. While genetics (nature) play a significant role in a child's development, environmental factors and upbringing (nurture) also have a significant impact. This debate can be particularly relevant for intended parents via egg donation who may have questions about what traits their child may inherit from the egg donor and how environmental factors may affect their child's development.
When it comes to the development of a child, the age-old debate of nature vs. nurture comes into play. While genetics (nature) play a significant role in a child's development, environmental factors and upbringing (nurture) also have a significant impact. This debate can be particularly relevant for intended parents via egg donation who may have questions about what traits their child may inherit from the egg donor and how environmental factors may affect their child's development. In this article, we'll explore the science behind nature vs. nurture and what parents via egg donation need to know.
The science behind nature vs. nurture
The debate of nature vs. nurture has been ongoing for centuries. Nature refers to the genetic makeup of an individual, including physical characteristics, personality traits, and behaviors. Nurture, on the other hand, refers to the environmental factors that can influence a person's development, such as upbringing, education, and life experiences.
Both nature and nurture play a role in a child's development. In fact, many experts now believe that it's not a matter of nature vs. nurture, but rather how the two interact and influence each other. For example, a child may have a genetic predisposition to a certain trait or behavior, but whether or not that trait is expressed can depend on environmental factors.
What parents via egg donation need to know
For parents via egg donation, it's important to understand that while genetics do play a role in a child's development, the environmental factors that a child is exposed to can also have a significant impact. Here are some key things to keep in mind:
- Genetics: While a child conceived through egg donation will not share genetic material with one or both parents, they will still inherit genetic traits from the egg donor. It's important for parents to understand the genetic history of the egg donor and any potential health risks or conditions that may be passed on. If you work with Cofertility, we require all donors to undergo genetic testing.
- Epigenetics: Environmental factors in the womb and early childhood can influence how genes are expressed. This is known as epigenetics, and it can play a significant role in a child's development. For example, a child may inherit a genetic predisposition to a certain condition, but whether or not that condition is expressed can depend on environmental factors.
- Upbringing and environment: Environmental factors such as upbringing, education, and life experiences can have a significant impact on a child's development. Parents via egg donation should take an active role in creating a supportive and nurturing environment for their child. This can include things like providing a stable home environment, engaging in regular family activities, and providing opportunities for education and socialization.
- Communication: It's important for parents to communicate openly and honestly with their child about their origins. Children conceived through egg donation may have questions about their genetic background and it's important for parents to be prepared to answer these questions in an age-appropriate way.
The importance of nurture
The parents who raise, love, support, and care for a child play a crucial role in shaping who they become as adults. Whether biological or non-biological, both parents' contributions are invaluable. For non-biological parents, feeling confident and secure in their parental role is especially important to effectively support their donor conceived child. This includes being available to address any challenges their child may face and honoring their curiosity about an unknown genetic family. By walking beside their child, non-biological parents can help foster a strong sense of identity and belonging in their child, regardless of genetic connections.
Is the baby biologically yours if you use an egg donor?
If you use an egg donor, the baby will not be biologically related to you, as the genetic material comes from the donor. However, you may be able to still carry and deliver the baby. And certainly they will be your child! The impact you will have by caring for this child and loving this child will shape who they become.
One study found that children in egg donation families rated their relationships with their mothers as higher in warmth and enjoyment than did children in IVF families. The authors concluded “It is possible that having waited so long to have their children, egg donation mothers are especially committed to parenthood when their children do arrive”.
What we can learn from adoption
Our learnings about nature vs nurture in adoption can teach us a great deal about egg donation. In adoption, we see that genetics are only one piece of the puzzle in shaping a child's life, as environment and upbringing play a significant role as well. Similarly, in egg donation, genetics from the donor play a role in the child's biological makeup, but the environment in which they are raised and the relationships they form also significantly impact their development.
Similarly, the experience of being donor-conceived can be compared to that of being adopted in terms of identity formation. Donor-conceived children may have questions and curiosity about their genetic heritage and biological roots. In adoption, we have learned that open communication about a child's origins and creating a supportive and accepting environment for their identity formation is crucial to their emotional well-being. The same is true for egg donation: it’s important to be open and honest with your child about their origin story.
Overall, the learnings from adoption reinforce the importance of a supportive and loving environment for children, regardless of genetic connections. In egg donation, it is essential to prioritize communication, openness, and honesty in discussing the child's origins and supporting their identity formation.
Bottom line
While the debate of nature vs. nurture may never be fully resolved, it's clear that both genetics and environmental factors play a significant role in a child's development. For parents via egg donation, it's important to understand the genetic and environmental factors that can impact their child's development and to take an active role in creating a nurturing and supportive environment for their child. By doing so, parents can help promote healthy gene expression and ensure that their child has the best possible chance for a happy and healthy life.
More resources:
- Will My Baby Look Like Me If I Use an Egg Donor?
- Will a Donor Conceived Child Have My DNA?
- We Asked Four Donor Conceived People About Their Life, Here's What They Said
Cofertility is a human-first fertility ecosystem rewriting the egg freezing and egg donation experience. Our Family by Co platform serves as a more transparent, ethical egg donor matching platform. We are obsessed with improving the family-building journey — today or in the future — and are in an endless pursuit to make these experiences more positive. Create a free account today!
Best Children's Books on Infertility, Egg Donation, Embryo Donation, and Surrogacy
As families are built in different ways, it's essential to have age-appropriate books to help children understand the processes and the love that forms families. Below are children’s books that tackle infertility, egg donation, embryo donation, and surrogacy in ways that children can understand.
As families are built in different ways, it's essential to have age-appropriate books to help children understand the processes and the love that forms families. Below are children’s books that tackle infertility, egg donation, embryo donation, and surrogacy in ways that children can understand.
Best children’s books about infertility
"Wish" by Matthew Cordell
The book: Wish is about an elephant couple that embarks on a life together, with thoughts of children far away—at first. But as the desire for a child grows, so do unexpected challenges. And it's only after thwarted plans and bitter disappointment that their deepest wish miraculously comes true.
The author: Matthew Cordell is the acclaimed author and illustrator of the 2018 Caldecott winner Wolf in the Snow. He is also the author and illustrator of Trouble Gum and the illustrator of If the S in Moose Comes Loose, Toot Toot Zoom!, Mighty Casey, Righty and Lefty, and Toby and the Snowflakes, which was written by his wife.
Why we love it: Although this book does not specifically discuss egg donation, it beautifully illustrates the angst of waiting for a child, the fear that it may not happen, and the joy when the wish finally comes true. It will make any parent who struggled with infertility tear up!
"To the Moon and Back for You" by Emilia Bechrakis Serhant
The book: "To the Moon and Back for You" is a beautifully written and illustrated children's book that tells the story of a mother's journey through infertility, surrogacy, and the ultimate joy of becoming a parent.
The author: Emilia Bechrakis Serhant is a lawyer, philanthropist, and television personality, best known for her appearances on the Bravo reality television series "Million Dollar Listing New York." She wrote "To the Moon and Back for You" based on her own experiences with infertility and surrogacy, as a way to help other families who are going through similar struggles.
Why we love it: We love how "To the Moon and Back for You" offers a heartfelt and honest portrayal of the emotional journey that many families go through when facing infertility and surrogacy. The book's illustrations are gorgeous, and the message of love and perseverance is both uplifting and inspiring. It's a great resource for families who have gone through infertility and surrogacy or for those who want to teach their children about the many ways that families can be created.
I'm Very Ferris: A Child's Story about In Vitro Fertilization
The book: "I'm Very Ferris" is a heartwarming and informative children's book that follows the story of a little boy named Ferris who was conceived through in vitro fertilization (IVF). It explores the journey of Ferris' parents as they went through the process of IVF and the joy they felt when they finally had their baby boy.
The author: Tess Kossow is a mom who went through the journey of IVF herself. She wrote "I'm Very Ferris" as a way to help families who are going through the same struggles, and to celebrate the love and joy that comes with building a family through IVF.
Why we love it: We love how "I'm Very Ferris" celebrates the beauty of IVF and the strength and resilience of families who go through infertility. The illustrations are bright and colorful, and the writing is heartfelt and relatable, making it a great read for both children and adults. The message of hope and perseverance is both uplifting and inspiring, and the book is a great resource for families who want to teach their children about the many ways that families can be created.
Miracle by Jason Pinter
The book: When rabbits Merle and Pearl meet on one beautiful day, they know that they have found true joy. Yet while they couldn’t be happier with each other, there’s one teeny, tiny thing missing...a child of their own. Merle and Pearl dream of expanding their nest by bringing a baby bunny into the world, but they face unforeseen challenges along the way. Determined to make their dreams come true, Merle and Pearl will do whatever it takes to find their Miracle—even if it means going deep under the sea, trekking across vast desert sands, or rocketing far out into the stars.
The author: Jason Pinter is the bestselling author of the Henry Parker series, which have over one million copies in print worldwide and have been published in over a dozen countries, as well as the Middle Grade adventure novel Zeke Bartholomew: SuperSpy.
Why we love it: This book is a powerful testament to the power of unwavering love. This touching story is sure to resonate with many readers, making it a must-have and a must-read. After finishing this book, you'll find yourself holding your loved ones just a little tighter and cherishing each moment just a little more.
Best children’s books about egg donation
"A Tiny Itsy Bitsy Gift of Life, an Egg Donor Story" by Carmen Martinez Jover
The book: "A Tiny Itsy Bitsy Gift of Life" tells the story of a couple who are struggling to have a baby. They decide to use an egg donor, and the book explains the process in simple terms that children can understand. The book emphasizes the idea that even though the baby may not have the same genes as the parents, it will still be loved and cherished just as much.
The author: Carmen Martinez Jover is a clinical psychologist who specializes in infertility counseling. She has written several children's books about infertility and ART, including "A Tiny Itsy Bitsy Gift of Life." Jover is also the co-founder of a fertility clinic in Spain.
Why we love it: We love the colorful illustrations in this book, and the way it explains the egg donation process in a way that is easy for children to understand. The book emphasizes the importance of love and family, regardless of genetic relatedness, and it is a great resource for parents who are considering egg donation as a way to build their family.
"The Pea That Was Me: An Egg-Donation Story" by Kim Kluger-Bell
The book: "The Pea That Was Me" is a story about a couple who want to have a baby but cannot do so without the help of an egg donor. The book uses simple language and colorful illustrations to explain the egg donation process. It also emphasizes the importance of love and family, regardless of genetic relatedness.
The author: Kim Kluger-Bell is a clinical social worker who specializes in infertility counseling. She has written several children's books about infertility and ART, including "The Pea That Was Me." Kluger-Bell is also the co-founder of a support group for families who have used egg donation to conceive.
Why we love it: We love how this book explains the egg donation process in simple terms that children can understand. The illustrations are beautiful, and the book emphasizes the idea that love is what makes a family, regardless of genetics. It is a great resource for parents who are considering egg donation as a way to build their family.
"You Were Meant For Me" by Sheri Sturniolo
The book: You Were Meant For Me: Mom*Dad*Donor shows how the love and generosity of others can grow into the most wonderful gift. This book is a kid-friendly look into the unique ways that some families are grown and the journey of love that brings them together.
The author: Sheri Sturniolo is a Pediatric Registered Nurse and mother to a son and daughter—both born through the awesome gift of donors. Through her personal journey and experiences, Sheri hopes to offer a valuable tool to families searching for ways to make sense of their unique creation story. Sheri lives with her husband, son and daughter (both conceived through embryo adoption) in the San Diego area.
Why we love it: Using symbolism and sweet rhyming lyrics, You Were Meant For Me introduces the complicated topic of being born from sperm, egg or embryo donation, to a young child. By giving children the “pieces of the puzzle,” this book sparks their imagination and stimulates them to ask questions.
"Happy Together: an egg donation story" by Julie Marie
The book: Happy Together, an egg donation story uses clear language and cheerful illustrations to join Mommy and Daddy bear on the journey to fulfill their greatest wish of becoming parents. With help from a doctor, an egg from a special lady called a donor and Daddy’s seed, a baby grew in Mommy’s tummy and was welcomed with great joy.
The author: As a mother through egg donation, author Julie Marie found various paths to parenthood were underrepresented in children's literature. Julie wrote Happy Together to help parents share their special family building story with their child.
Why we love it: This tender book is a favorite amongst donor-egg parents, and it’s no surprise. The story is simple enough for even young kids to understand, yet it explains the process of donor eggs well.
“Daddy, What Is An Embryo?: A Tale of Egg Donation” by J.D. Quarles
The book: When Ruthie discovers frog eggs in their pond, her father finds the perfect moment to tell her the story of how she was conceived with the help of an egg donor, and how this amazing process helped bring her parents' dreams to life.
The author: After having his daughter at 46 years old, using both a surrogate and egg donor, J.D. Quarles wrote books in an effort to help his daughter understand the amazing process that brought her into this world. While watching his daughter's comprehension of this process develop, he decided to publish the books to help others in similar situations.
Why we love it: We love how "Daddy, What Is An Embryo?" takes a complex medical process and explains it in a way that is easy for young children to understand. The illustrations are beautiful, and the story emphasizes the idea that families come in all shapes and sizes. It's a great resource for families who have used or are considering using egg donation to conceive, as well as for families who want to teach their children about different ways of building a family.
Best children’s books about surrogacy
"The Very Kind Koala: A Surrogacy Story for Children" by Kimberly Kluger-Bell
The book: "The Very Kind Koala" tells the story of a kind koala who agrees to carry a baby for a couple who cannot do so on their own. The book explains the process of surrogacy in a way that is easy for children to understand. It emphasizes the idea that families come in all shapes and sizes and that what
The author: Kimberly Kluger-Bell is a clinical social worker who specializes in infertility counseling. She has written several children's books about infertility and ART, including "The Very Kind Koala." Kluger-Bell is also the co-founder of a support group for families who have used surrogacy to conceive.
Why we love it: We love the cute and colorful illustrations in this book, and the way it explains the surrogacy process in a way that is easy for children to understand. The book emphasizes the idea that love and family come in all shapes and sizes and that what matters most is the love that a family shares.
“The Kangaroo Pouch: A story about surrogacy for young children” by Sarah A. Phillips
The book: Oliver, a young kangaroo whose mother becomes a surrogate for the Bouncing-Hopalots and delivers their baby to them, narrates this heartwarming tale and shows what the gestational surrogacy process is all about from start to finish.
The author: Sarah A. Phillips is an author living in Illinois with her family and dog. She writes for children (and the young at heart) from picture books on up to young adult novels. Her first picture book, "The Kangaroo Pouch," was published in 2007 and due to its popularity worldwide, has gone on to be published in both French and Spanish.
Why we love it: The Kangaroo Pouch" is a beautifully written and illustrated book that celebrates the love and joy that comes with surrogacy. It's a great addition to any family's library and a must-read for anyone who wants to teach their children about surrogacy in a way that is compassionate and easy to understand.
"Sophia's Broken Crayons: A Story of Surrogacy from a Young Child's Perspective" by Crystal A. Falk
The book: "Sophia's Broken Crayons: A Story of Surrogacy from a Young Child's Perspective" tells a story of surrogacy from a young child’s perspective in a practical way that children can understand and grasp. A little girl by the name of Sophia is heartbroken after she discovers all of her crayons are broken. Sophia’s friend’s share their crayons with her as she experiences seeing her parents choose to give the gift of surrogacy to their friends.
The author: Crystal A. Falk is an attorney and mother of two children, both of whom were born via surrogacy. She wrote "Sophia's Broken Crayons" to help children understand and normalize the surrogacy process.
Why we love it: We love how "Sophia's Broken Crayons" handles the topic of surrogacy in a gentle and accessible way. The story is relatable and easy to follow, making it a great conversation starter for families who are navigating the complexities of assisted reproduction. The book also includes a helpful Q&A section at the end, which answers common questions that children may have about surrogacy. Overall, "Sophia's Broken Crayons" is a beautiful book that celebrates the love and connection between families, regardless of how they come to be.
Best children’s books about embryo donation
"Hope & Will Have a Baby: The Gift of Embryo Donation" by Irene Celcer
The book: "Hope & Will Have a Baby" is a heartwarming story of a couple named Hope and Will who want to have a baby but are having trouble getting pregnant. The book explains the process of egg donation in simple, child-friendly terms, and emphasizes that all families are different and that love is what makes a family.
The author: Irene Celcer is a clinical psychologist who specializes in infertility counseling. She has written several children's books about infertility and ART, including "Hope & Will Have a Baby." Celcer is also the founder of a support group for families who have used egg donation to conceive.
Why we love it: We love how this book explains the concept of egg donation in a way that is easy for children to understand. The illustrations are beautiful, and the book has a reassuring tone that emphasizes the importance of love and family. It is a great resource for parents who are considering egg donation as a way to build their family.
“Made With Love: The sweetest allegory for embryo donation and adoption” by Whitney Williams
The book: "Made with Love" is a beautiful and heartwarming allegory that explains the concept of embryo donation and adoption through the story of two cookie families as they go through the trials and tribulations of infertility on one side and the decision to donate extra embryos on the other.
The author: Whitney Williams is a Christian wife and mother to three boys, the youngest two of whom she and her husband adopted as embryos. She works from home for WORLD Magazine. She graduated from Baylor University in 2008 with a bachelor's in journalism.
Why we love it: We love how "Made with Love" presents the concept of embryo donation and adoption in a way that is easy for children to understand. The illustrations are beautiful, and the story emphasizes the idea that families are built on love and the desire to care for one another. It's a great resource for families who have used or are considering using embryo donation or adoption to build their families, as well as for families who want to teach their children about different ways of building a family.
“Remy's Blueprints: A (Double) Donor Conception Story for Mom/Dad Families” by Sharon Leya
The book: “Remy's Blueprints” is about an adorable kid named Remy who adores her Mommy and Daddy who are architects. It follows her adventure as she discovers how she was brought into the world.
The author: Sharon Leya is the author of the My Donor Story series, a series of children's books that lovingly explains donor conception, and uses simple language to illustrate the basic concepts of genetics.
Why we love it: Sharon Leya's book gently and lyrically explains the complex concepts of donor conception, genetics, and pregnancy in a way that helps children appreciate and love their unique origins. Through metaphors and a message of love, Leya guides young readers through a journey of understanding their conception and family building, offering a valuable resource for families who have used donor conception or for those who want to teach their children about different ways of building a family. Overall, Leya's book is a touching and informative read that helps children embrace the beauty of their own unique story.
Cofertility is a human-first fertility ecosystem rewriting the egg freezing and egg donation experience. Our Family by Co platform serves as a more transparent, ethical egg donor matching platform. We are obsessed with improving the family-building journey — today or in the future — and are in an endless pursuit to make these experiences more positive.
Create a free account today!
Epigenetics and Donor Eggs
In the context of third-party reproduction, epigenetics plays an important role in the development and growth of embryos, and can also have implications for offspring conceived through assisted reproductive technologies (ART) such as donor egg IVF. In this article, we will explore the concept of epigenetics and how it relates to the use of donor eggs in fertility treatment.
Epigenetics is a field of study that has gained increasing attention in recent years for its potential implications in various aspects of health and disease. In the context of third-party reproduction, epigenetics plays an important role in the development and growth of embryos, and can also have implications for offspring conceived through assisted reproductive technologies (ART) such as donor egg IVF. In this article, we will explore the concept of epigenetics and how it relates to the use of donor eggs in fertility treatment.
What is epigenetics?
Epigenetics refers to changes in gene expression that occur without a change in the DNA sequence itself. These changes can be heritable and can impact how genes are expressed throughout an individual's lifetime. Epigenetic modifications can occur in response to environmental factors such as diet, stress, and toxins, as well as during embryonic development. These modifications can affect the way that genes are expressed, leading to alterations in cellular function and potentially contributing to the development of certain diseases.
Epigenetics and donor eggs
In donor egg IVF, the genetic material from the egg donor is used to create an embryo that is implanted into the uterus of the intended mother or a gestational surrogate. This means that the resulting offspring will have a different genetic makeup than the intended mother, and therefore may have different epigenetic profiles as well.
Research suggests that epigenetic modifications can occur during embryonic development, and may be influenced by factors such as the age of the egg donor, the method of fertilization, and the environment in which the embryo develops. Studies have found differences in DNA methylation patterns, histone modifications, and gene expression profiles between embryos created using donor eggs and those created using the intended mother's own eggs.
What does this mean for children conceived through donor egg IVF? While it is still unclear what the long-term implications of these differences may be, we know the majority of children conceived through donor egg IVF are healthy and do not experience any adverse health effects related to epigenetic differences.
It begins in the womb
Epigenetics research has revealed that the quality of life inside the womb has a lasting impact on a baby's health. Scientists have found that the most significant influence on gene function occurs in utero, making a birth mother's womb the baby's first and most crucial environment. This underscores the importance of a mother's (or gestational carrier) lifestyle choices in shaping the overall health and well-being of the individual for the rest of their life.
Stress is a significant environmental factor that can influence your child's genetic expression. Managing stress and anxiety during pregnancy can significantly impact the way their baby's genes develop. To cope with stress, there are various relaxation techniques available, including group therapy, meditation, acupuncture, yoga, exercise, journaling, spending time with people you love, and doing things that bring you joy.
Epigenetics and early childhood
The idea that genes are “set in stone” has been disproven. We now know that early life experiences, such as stress, nutrition, and caregiving, can influence gene expression and ultimately affect a child's development on who they become.
These epigenetic changes can have long-term effects on physical and mental health, as well as cognitive and behavioral outcomes. The positive experiences you create for your child, such as responsive caregiving and supportive relationships, can also have positive epigenetic effects and promote healthy development.
"The positive experiences you create for your child, such as responsive caregiving and supportive relationships, can also have positive epigenetic effects and promote healthy development."
Will a donor egg baby look like me?
The answer is maybe. There is always a chance – whether genetic, adopted, or born through donor eggs – that a child won’t look like you. There’s also a chance that they will! I know plenty of genetically related children that look nothing like their mother or siblings. But I also know a lot of donor-egg children that look *exactly* like their mothers. In fact, I had no idea one of my closest friends used donor eggs to conceive her children until she confided in me when I began my donor egg journey.
Many families choose to match with a donor with similar physical features, especially for unique features like red hair, blue eyes, or being really tall. But keep in mind – picking a donor that looks like you in no way guarantees the child will look like you or the donor!
Ethical considerations
The use of donor eggs in fertility treatment raises a number of ethical considerations, particularly when it comes to the potential impact of epigenetic differences on offspring. While it is important for individuals and couples considering donor egg IVF to be aware of the potential implications of epigenetics, it is also important to recognize that the majority of children conceived through this method are healthy and lead normal lives.
Summing it up
Epigenetics is a complex and rapidly evolving field of study with important implications for fertility and reproduction. While the use of donor eggs in IVF can lead to epigenetic differences between offspring and their intended parents, the majority of children conceived through this method are healthy and lead normal lives.
Even if you use donor eggs or donor embryos, you play a vital role in the development of your baby. While genetics play a role, it's the interaction between genetics and epigenetics that shapes your baby into the individual they become. Don’t forget that you contribute more than you may realize to the growth and development of your child.
If you are considering using donor eggs, register for a free account and get instant access to our egg donor database.
Cofertility is a human-first fertility ecosystem rewriting the egg freezing and egg donation experience. Our Family by Co platform serves as a more transparent, ethical egg donor matching platform. We are obsessed with improving the family-building journey — today or in the future — and are in an endless pursuit to make these experiences more positive. Create a free account today!
What Matters More: The Age of My Egg Donor or the Womb?
As more and more families turn to assisted reproductive technologies to build their families, the question of age becomes increasingly important. For those using donor eggs or a gestational carrier (or both), the age of the person contributing to the pregnancy can have a significant impact on the chances of success. In this article, we will explore whether the age of the egg donor or gestational carrier matters more for the chances of a healthy pregnancy.
As more and more families turn to assisted reproductive technologies to build their families, the question of age becomes increasingly important. For those using donor eggs or a gestational carrier (or both), the age of the person contributing to the pregnancy can have a significant impact on the chances of success.
In this article, we will explore whether the age of the egg donor or gestational carrier matters more for the chances of a healthy pregnancy.
Does egg donor age matter?
The age of the egg donor is a crucial factor in the success of a donor egg IVF cycle. As females age, their egg quality and quantity decreases, which can lead to lower rates of successful fertilization, implantation, and live births. In general, “younger” donors have a higher chance of producing high-quality eggs that are more likely to result in a successful pregnancy.
This means that the average 28-year-old donor has a significantly higher chance of producing a successful pregnancy than a 45-year-old donor (and one of the reasons ASRM recommends that donors be under the age of 34). However, even with a younger donor, other factors such as the quality of the sperm used, the quality of the clinic, and the health of the person carrying the pregnancy can majorly impact the success of the cycle.
So what do we mean by “younger” egg donor? While ASRM recommends egg donors are between the ages of 21 and 34, the sweet spot seems to be ages 25-34. Not only for reasons of donor maturity, but also because research suggests better outcomes. One study found the chances of live birth among cycles using egg donors < 25 years was 13% lower for those using donors age 25 to 29. And another older but large study of 3,889 fresh donor egg cycles found that the cycles utilizing donors 30 to 34 years had a higher incidence of live birth compared to cycles with donors under 30 years, as well as donors over 34.
While many people gravitate towards younger donors under the assumption that they’ll retrieve more eggs, the good news is that the number of eggs retrieved - for donors at any age- is predictable. When you find a donor profile that resonates with you, your doctor will help determine if she’s a good candidate. All the donors at Cofertility are pre-qualified and most of them pass medical clearance upon match.
I’m carrying the pregnancy, does my age matter?
If you intend to carry the pregnancy, you may be wondering what matters more… your age or the egg donors age. For the most part, the age of your egg donor is more critical to success than your age at embryo transfer and pregnancy.
That’s because at every age, the chances of birth with donor eggs is better, but those who benefit the most from donor eggs are women over 35 and those with low ovarian reserve. In fact, about one-quarter of women over 40 who succeeded with IVF did so through the use of donor eggs.
The chart was made using the SART Patient Predictor for an average woman (5’4”, 150 lbs) with diminished ovarian reserve. As you can see, the chances of live birth after one donor egg cycle is 54% for recipients under 40, and only goes down slightly after this.
Studies show that your chances of success using donor eggs does not diminish in your 40s. So while getting pregnant with your own eggs may be unlikely, using donor eggs can greatly increase your chances of a successful and healthy baby well into your 40s and even 50s.
Many women in their 40s and 50s can carry a pregnancy when using donor eggs, although some need to use a gestational carrier for a variety of reasons. It’s important to note that carrying a pregnancy in your 40s and 50s does carry increased risks of pregnancy complications like. hypertensive disorders and gestational diabetes.
I’m using a gestational carrier (surrogate), whose age is more important?
If you need both an egg donor and gestational carrier, you may wonder how their age will impact the chances of success. As stated earlier, the recommended age range for an egg donor is 21-34, but the range for gestational carriers is broader at 21 to 45 years old.
While egg donation has its own set of criteria, the ideal gestational carrier is a healthy female between the ages of 21 and 45 who has had at least one successful term pregnancy, and has been medically and psychologically cleared.
If you are using a gestational carrier, the age of the gestational carrier is also an important factor to consider. But as long as she meets the criteria and has been medically cleared, whether she is 25 or 35 should not impact your chances of success.
Is there an age limit for IVF with donor eggs?
Technically, there is no age limit (legal or otherwise) in the United States for pursuing IVF with or without donor eggs. But ASRM discourages IVF for females older than 55, and some clinics set their own age limits for patients they will treat.
For females over 45 years old, ASRM advises:
- “Comprehensive” medical testing for cardiovascular and metabolic fitness to ensure the safety of the mother and baby during pregnancy
- Psychosocial evaluation to determine if support is in place to raise a child to adulthood
- Counseling patients on potential increased medical risks related to pregnancy
There is no official recommendation when it comes to the age of a male intended parent.
Summing it up
It’s important to remember that your age when you (or your gestational carrier) get pregnant is not as important as the age of the eggs that formed the embryo. The success of egg donation depends on many factors, but is not considered to be related to the age of the recipient.
While the age of the egg donor and gestational carrier can impact the success of the cycle, it is not the only factor to consider. Other factors such as the quality of the sperm, the caliber of the clinic, and any underlying medical conditions should also be taken into account. Ultimately, the best approach will depend on your individual circumstances, and a consultation with a qualified reproductive endocrinologist can help determine the best course of action.
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What is Donor Egg Grief and How Do I Know if I Have It?
Coming to terms that you need a donor egg to have a family can elicit all kinds of emotions. A major emotion that plays a big role during this process is grief. Grief is that deep, overwhelming sorrow that comes from loss. In this case, it is the anguish that comes from the death or loss of the dream - the dream of a genetic child. In this article, we’ll discuss grief and how it relates to being told you need an egg donor to conceive.
Coming to terms that you need a donor egg to have a family can elicit all kinds of emotions. A major emotion that plays a big role during this process is grief. Grief is that deep, overwhelming sorrow that comes from loss. In this case, it is the anguish that comes from the death or loss of the dream - the dream of a genetic child. In this article, we’ll discuss grief and how it relates to being told you need an egg donor to conceive.
What is egg donor grief?
In the late 60s, Dr. Kubler-Ross introduced a model for understanding the psychological reaction to loss. She described a cycle composed of denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. This model can also be applied to understand the concept of donor egg grief.
For those told that they will require the use of donor eggs to procreate, many of the stages described by Dr. Kubler-Ross can occur not only simultaneously but also repeatedly. Unlike the image above, the stages are also not always linear and do not have a specified time period.
The different stages of donor egg grief can occur during the initial diagnosis, during the decision-making process regarding moving forward or not and for some all the way until the baby is born. The good news is that grief is normal, it is expected, and it does pass. The clouds part and happiness and joy can once again take over.
The good news is that grief is normal, it is expected, and it does pass.
Signs that you have donor egg grief
Shock
Unless you have always known that you will require assistance to have a child, when you first learn about needing donor eggs, there is shock. That initial shock usually wears off pretty fast because we easily slip into denial.
Denial
Denial is a common defense mechanism used to protect oneself from the reality that a donor egg is needed. Some people are in such denial that they switch clinics thinking that they need a second opinion or that their clinic is incompetent. Denial is normal and can be important for processing difficult information. During this you need to really understand and educate yourself about why you need a donor egg. Find out about your diagnosis, Ask a lot of questions. And yes, it is okay to get a second opinion. Some find that delving into educating themselves serves as an escape from reality, which is natural. But when you start seeing that you cannot escape the fact, then anger begins to kick in.
Anger
Anger can come in many different forms. There may be anger at self for waiting too long, for not understanding how fertility works. There may be anger at the partner who does not have to surrender his genetics. There may be anger at friends or family who seem to so easily get pregnant. Anger is also a normal and natural response. During this time having an outlet, be it creative or physical, or whatever, is essential. Channeling that rage and letting it out allows you to walk the path toward healing.
Bargaining
In order to move on from anger and to get a semblance of control, many move into bargaining. This can look like, “I will focus solely on treatment and 100% on clean eating and living, and I will donate money to fertility causes, if I can try IVF one more time. I know this time it will work, this time will be different.” The truth is that bargaining is really a way to protect oneself from the painful reality of that lost genetic connection, to not want to believe that this diagnosis is true. So thoughts such as, “I probably wasn’t doing the hormone injections right. My doctor wasn’t giving me strong enough hormones.” are also part of the process.
Depression
If you start to feel persistent feelings of sadness, a loss of interest in things you once enjoyed, hopelessness, issues with sleep, and fatigue, you are entering the stage of depression. Now is the time for self-compassion which is the process of turning compassion inward. Now is the time to be kind and understanding and to give ourselves support and encouragement. Research shows that self-compassion can be a powerful source of coping and resilience as it can radically improve mental and physical wellbeing.
Acceptance
The last and final stage of donor egg grief is acceptance. This is recognizing the reality that if you are to have a family, a donor egg will be required. This is when the longing to be a parent outweighs the need to procreate and have a genetic link to a child. This is when you no longer struggle with the loss of that genetic tie and instead decide to focus on what it will be like to finally be a parent. This is when the old expectations of how you saw yourself becomes redefined. The definition of mothering, nurturing and family also changes and you start seeing a happy future once again. You start to realize that perhaps the best parts of you are not genetic, but things that were learned, nurtured and taught. And those are things you can and will pass down to your child.
We are here for you
Whether you choose to match with an egg donor through Cofertility or elsewhere, it’s important to find a reputable and compassionate agency that will treat you with respect and provide you with the resources and support you need throughout the process. Remember that you are not alone, and that there is hope for building the family of your dreams, even if it looks different than what you imagined.
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How Working With an Anonymous Egg Donor May Impact Your Child's Life
If you are considering conceiving with donor eggs, you may have questions regarding the different types of donation and how they may impact your child. But before you even begin your search for that perfect match, it is essential that you ask yourself a few questions. First, what is anonymous egg donation? Second, does true anonymity exist? Three, why do I want to work with an anonymous donor? Fourth and maybe most important, how will it impact my future child?
If you are considering conceiving with donor eggs, you may have questions regarding the different types of donation and how they may impact your child. But before you even begin your search for that perfect match, it is essential that you ask yourself a few questions. First, what is anonymous egg donation? Second, does true anonymity exist? Three, why do I want to work with an anonymous donor? Fourth and maybe most important, how will it impact my future child?
What is anonymous egg donation?
Anonymous or undisclosed donation is one where you do not exchange contact information with your donor. Although you will have access to photographs and demographic information, you will never meet or communicate directly with your donor. You may never know who this person is exactly or how their future may unfold. With an undisclosed donation, you could arrange to have the information available to your child down the road (this is sometimes called Open ID).
In contrast, with a disclosed donation you and your donor exchange contact information and communicate directly. This communication can be only for the duration of the medical protocol or it can continue for as long as you wish. This option keeps the door open for you or your child to reach out to the donor with questions and for you to learn about any changes to their medical history.
Does true anonymity exist?
It is important to understand that true anonymity can never be guaranteed. Because of the readily available at-home DNA testing, a child can easily discover their true origins. And now with changing laws and depending on where you live, anonymity may not even be an option. And because many people are active on the internet with social media and personal and professional profiles, it is not very difficult to find someone. Meaning not only could you find them, but they could also find you or your child.
Read more: Why We Don’t Believe in Anonymous Egg Donation
Why do I want to work with an anonymous donor?
Parents who want to have an anonymous donor typically say that they want to take this path because they believe anonymity will allow them to establish clear boundaries and to protect the mother–child relationship. They believe that having the donor in the picture may complicate the donor–child relationship and undermine the intended mother’s ability to feel secure in her role as mother.
Interestingly, studies have found that anonymity did not make a difference in how a mother felt about her identity or role as mother after the baby was born, even if she expressed both ambivalence and uncertainties about the non-genetic relationship with their child. In the end she still felt confident and secure in her identity as the child’s mother.
How will choosing an anonymous egg donor impact my future child?
Studies show that being open with the child born via donor about his or her conception is important for their identity formation. Donor conceived children are curious about their origins so matching with a known donor means that your child can have the knowledge they are seeking about their origins.
Donor conceived people have spoken about their experiences of being donor conceived and it is pretty apparent that knowing the donor, in some capacity, is very important to them. In a recent survey, 70% of donor-conceived respondents believed they were harmed by not knowing their donor’s identity, and 80% believed they had been harmed by not knowing their donor’s medical history.
Should I use an anonymous egg donor?
One major reason for choosing a known donor is information. And information can be powerful. Having more information about the donor specifically as it pertains to their medical history can help you be aware of any changes to the donor’s medical history in the future.
What are my options at Cofertility?
Most families we work with choose a disclosed relationship. In a disclosed donation with Cofertility, you and the donor will exchange contact information and can communicate directly.
In an undisclosed donation, you will not exchange contact information and only communicate via Cofertility. We highly encourage disclosed donations as we’ve met with the US Donor Conceived Council and heard from the donor conceived community that disclosed is best for the donor conceived child. However, if you choose to move forward with an undisclosed donation after learning about the potential implications for your child, we will honor that decision.
Summing it up
The decision to use an anonymous egg donor is a personal one that requires careful consideration. While anonymity may seem like a desirable option at first, it is important to remember that it may not provide long-term protection for the parent-child relationship, and could have lasting impacts on the child's sense of identity and well-being.
As a result, choosing a disclosed donor may provide more benefits in the long run, particularly when it comes to providing vital medical information and supporting a child's curiosity about their origins. Ultimately, it is up to you to weigh the pros and cons of different donor options and make an informed decision that best supports the well-being of their donor-conceived child.