egg sharing
Will I Regret Donating My Eggs?
In this article, we will explore the various factors that can influence the decision to donate eggs and the potential emotional and physical effects of egg donation.
Egg donation is a generous act that can help people struggling with infertility build their families. It is a decision that requires careful consideration and understanding of the process and potential implications involved.
One question that often arises in the minds of prospective donors is whether they will regret their decision to donate their eggs. In this article, we will explore the various factors that can influence the decision to donate eggs and the potential emotional and physical effects of egg donation.
Deciding to donate your eggs
Egg donation is not for everyone. And the decision to donate eggs is a deeply personal one, often driven by the desire to help a family struggling to conceive. Many donors find it rewarding to know that they have helped someone else fulfill their dream of having a child.
In addition to those struggling with infertility, there are other groups of individuals who may need the help of an egg donor. For example, cancer survivors who have undergone chemotherapy or radiation therapy may have reduced fertility or premature menopause. By using donor eggs in IVF, these individuals can have a chance at conceiving and starting a family.
Additionally, LGBTQ+ couples or individuals who wish to start a family may need the help of an egg donor. We work with a lot of gay dads, for instance, who need a donor egg to create an embryo that can be carried by a surrogate. By donating your eggs, you have the potential to help individuals and families of all kinds achieve their dream of starting a family.
What the research says about egg donation regret
Unfortunately, there aren’t a ton of studies published on egg donors. But looking at the few studies that do exist, it appears as though egg donors are generally happy with their decision and usually do not regret it. Let’s dive in:
Study: Egg donation--the donor's view [1]
Who: 113 egg donors in the UK
Findings: 95% had no regrets concerning their donation, and 72% would donate again
Study: Gamete donors' satisfaction [2]
Who: 165 egg donors in Sweden
Findings: 85.9% were satisfied with their overall experience of being an egg donor
Study: Emotional and relational aspects of egg-sharing [3]
Who: 48 egg-sharing donors (similar to our Split program, where donors keep half the eggs retrieved)
Findings: 83.3% would donate again and only 2.1% regretted their decision to participate
Study: A comparison of the attitudes of volunteer donors and infertile patient donors on an ovum donation programme [4]
Who: 20 anonymous volunteer (unpaid) donors
Findings: 90% would donate again
Anecdotally speaking, donors we work with at Cofertility are grateful for the opportunity to donate their eggs and keep half of the eggs retrieved for their own future use, for free.
Physical risks and side effects of egg donation
Egg freezing is considered a safe procedure. It is a low-risk (but not zero risk) procedure. In a single egg freezing cycle, the risk of a serious adverse event is under 2.5%. Severe ovarian hyper-stimulation syndrome (OHSS) accounts for the majority of complications, occuring in 0.1-2% of cycles. The risk of other acute complications, including pelvic infection, intraperitoneal hemorrhage, or ovarian torsion, is even smaller (<0.5%). This data is from a group of egg freezers; you can imagine the number would be even lower for egg donors who have gone through more rigorous health screening in advance of the retrieval.
That being said, many women do experience minor side effects – like bloating, constipation, nausea – from the medications and egg retrieval.
Emotional effects of egg donation
The emotional effects of egg donation can vary from person to person and can be influenced by several factors, including your expectations and understanding of the experience. Many donors find the experience rewarding and fulfilling, knowing that they have helped someone else start or expand their family. However, some donors may experience more complicated feelings about it. This is why our donors undergo psychological screening – to ensure they are mentally prepared.
It is important to have a strong support system in place during the egg freezing and donation process. This can include friends, family, and healthcare providers who can provide emotional support and guidance. If you freeze your eggs through Cofertility, you’ll be connected with a cohort of others freezing their eggs at the same time. We offer an online support group, and our entire team of experts will be behind you the entire time.
At Cofertility, you have a say on who your eggs go to
Some agencies downplay the magnitude of the impact you are making as an egg donor. Bringing a new human into this world is a HUGE deal! We believe donors should have a say in where their eggs go. This is why, with Cofertility, you get to opt-in to any match. You’ll get to learn a little about the family, even meet them virtually (if you’d like), and decide if you want to move forward. You also get to specify your communication preferences up front, giving you real options in the process.
Bottom line
If you are considering egg donation, it is essential to find a reputable and trustworthy egg donation agency. An agency that values the well-being and autonomy of donors is crucial to a positive egg donation experience. When researching agencies, look for those that prioritize your safety, provide comprehensive medical care, and offer supportive services to donors. Find an agency that will treat you with respect, dignity, and professionalism throughout - and beyond - the donation process.
At Cofertility, we are striving to be the best place to be an egg donor (or what we call, a Split Member). We offer a supportive and transparent process that empowers donors to make informed decisions about their egg donation journey. With our innovative approach, donors get to keep half of the eggs retrieved, plus storage for 10 years, entirely for free.
We believe that every donor deserves to have a positive and empowering experience, and we are committed to making that a reality. That’s why Cofertility was named one of the Best Egg Donor Programs by Egg Donor Connect.
Interested in egg donation with Cofertility? You can start by taking a short quiz to see if you’re eligible for our Split program. We’re appreciative of your desire to help another family and are excited to be on this journey with you.
Sources:
- Byrd LM, Sidebotham M, Lieberman B. Egg donation--the donor's view: an aid to future recruitment. Hum Fertil (Camb). 2002;5(4):175-182. doi:10.1080/1464727022000199082
- Skoog Svanberg A, Lampic C, Gejerwall AL, et al. Gamete donors' satisfaction; gender differences and similarities among oocyte and sperm donors in a national sample. Acta Obstet Gynecol Scand. 2013;92(9):1049-1056. doi:10.1111/aogs.12156
- Gürtin ZB, Ahuja KK, Golombok S. Emotional and relational aspects of egg-sharing: egg-share donors' and recipients' feelings about each other, each others' treatment outcome and any resulting children. Hum Reprod. 2012;27(6):1690-1701. doi:10.1093/humrep/des085
- Power M, Baber R, Abdalla H, Kirkland A, Leonard T, Studd JW. A comparison of the attitudes of volunteer donors and infertile patient donors on an ovum donation programme. Hum Reprod. 1990;5(3):352-355. doi:10.1093/oxfordjournals.humrep.a137104
What Happens to My Eggs After Egg Freezing?
Egg freezing offers a chance to focus on other stuff now while planning for your future family. But how does it work, and what happens to your precious eggs once they are safely frozen?
As women, we are often tasked with making complex decisions about our bodies, our health, and our future. Among the myriad of choices, one of the most significant is the decision of whether or not to freeze our eggs. But once you've made the decision and plan to go through the process, you now may be wondering, "What exactly happens to my eggs after I freeze them? Where do they go? How long can they remain frozen?"
Egg freezing, also called oocyte cryopreservation, offers a chance to focus on other stuff now while planning for your future family. But how does it work, and what happens to your precious eggs once they are safely frozen? Let's delve into this fascinating, sometimes bewildering world of fertility preservation.
The egg freezing process: a quick recap
Before we venture further, let's refresh our understanding of the egg freezing process. It starts with hormone injections that stimulate your ovaries to produce multiple eggs. These eggs are then retrieved through a minor surgical procedure, and once retrieved, they are immediately frozen in a state-of-the-art laboratory. Following the retrieval and freezing process, your eggs are stored in a secure and carefully monitored cryo-storage facility.
Egg freezing and preservation
Vitrification is a newer and more effective method of freezing eggs that has largely replaced older methods such as slow freezing. With vitrification, eggs are quickly frozen using a high concentration of cryoprotectants and then plunged into liquid nitrogen for storage. This process creates a glass-like state that preserves the eggs in a nearly perfect condition. In fact, vitrification ensures a very high rate of survival of the eggs, typically 95% or above.
Compared to slow freezing, which can damage the eggs and reduce their viability, vitrification has a higher success rate of producing healthy embryos for later use. It has become the preferred method of egg freezing for most fertility clinics and has allowed more patients to successfully preserve their fertility.
If you have any doubts about your clinic, you can ask them what type of method they use for egg freezing. It's important to do your research and choose a reputable fertility clinic with experience in vitrification if you're considering egg freezing.
Long-term storage and monitoring
Once the eggs are frozen, they are stored in liquid nitrogen. Some clinics keep those frozen eggs stored at an onsite lab, but in most cases they are shipped to an offsite facility. As soon as you’re ready to use them, they can be safely shipped back.
In either case, the frozen eggs' care doesn't end at storage. They are monitored regularly to ensure the liquid nitrogen levels remain constant, and the facility's temperature control and security systems are working correctly. A well-maintained facility prioritizes meticulous record-keeping, tracking the storage duration and any other pertinent details about each egg.
Cofertility members can take advantage of our partnership with TMRW Life Sciences, a fertility technology company that has developed the world's first automated solution for storing and managing frozen eggs and embryos.
TMRW's technology platform digitally identifies, tracks, monitors and stores patients' frozen eggs and embryos with safety, accuracy, efficiency and transparency. TMRW's platform sets a new standard of care by reducing potential points of failure by 94% compared with manual systems.
So what is TMRW doing differently?
- Digital labeling - instead of handwritten labels, TMRW uses digital labeling and RFID tracking. With this tracking system, clinics always know exactly where your eggs and embryos are and can easily find them when you’re ready to use them.
- Automated management - instead of relying on manual processes, TMRW has a new fully-automated digital system that helps eliminate 94% of potential failure points
- Real-time inventory - TMRW has gone the extra mile by creating a 24/7 cloud-based monitoring system with real-time inventory updates to provide new levels of safety, transparency, and peace of mind.
- Active monitoring - TMRW provides 24/7 digital monitoring (thousands of daily checks!) and expert human oversight to identify potential issues before they become a problem.
Will my eggs survive the thaw?
Several factors can impact the success of egg thawing, including your age when the eggs are frozen, the number and quality of the eggs, the technique used to freeze the eggs, and the quality of the clinic’s laboratory.
The quality of the eggs is also a crucial factor in egg thawing. Good quality eggs have a higher chance of survival and fertilization. However, even with good quality eggs, there is no guarantee of success, and the process may need to be repeated to achieve pregnancy.
If and when you decide to use them
When you decide the time is right to use your frozen eggs, they are thawed in the lab using a warming solution.
But keep in mind that thawing is just the first part. The eggs will then need to be fertilized with sperm and grown into embryos. The surviving eggs are then fertilized using a process called intracytoplasmic sperm injection (ICSI), where a single sperm is injected directly into each egg.
After fertilization, the resulting embryos are monitored for a few days as they begin to develop. The most viable embryos are then transferred to your uterus in a procedure similar to a pap smear. If successful, the embryo implants in your uterus and grows, leading to pregnancy.
Generally, the younger you are when freezing your eggs, the better the chances of success. Eggs frozen in your late 20s or early 30s have a higher chance of survival and successful fertilization compared to those frozen in your late 30s or 40s.
If you decide NOT to use them
What if, down the line, you decide not to use your eggs, or you have more than you need?
One study of egg freezing patients at UCSF found that 89% believed they would be glad they froze their eggs, even if they never used them to conceive a child. So if you don't end up needing your frozen eggs down the line, there are a few options for what to do with them.
- Keep them in storage. Most storage facilities offer long-term storage options (our partnership with TMRW includes plans up to 10-years long), allowing you to keep your eggs frozen for as many years as necessary. This may be a good option if you're not yet ready to use the eggs but want to keep them as a backup plan.
- Donate the eggs to someone else who may need them. Egg donation is a process of donating eggs to another person or couple who needs them, such as LGBTQ+ families or those suffering from infertility. This can be a wonderful gift for those who may not be able to have a child otherwise. If you go through our Split program, you will have already been cleared as a donor and can easily donate these additional eggs. If you’re not part of the Split program but think you may be interested in this down the line, talk to your doctor as they may be able to do some additional donor-related screening during your egg freezing process.
- Dispose of them. If you decide that you no longer need your frozen eggs and don't want to continue storing them or donate them, simply request that they are disposed of by the clinic or storage facility.
- Donate to science. Many research studies rely on donated eggs to investigate new techniques and treatments for infertility. Ask your clinic if this is an option.
Emotional considerations
Aside from the practical aspects, it's important to acknowledge the emotional journey involved in egg freezing. It's normal to feel a mix of emotions – relief, hope, anxiety, or even sadness. Know that these feelings are common and valid. Don't hesitate to seek support, be it from a trusted friend, family member, a professional counselor, or the Cofertility community.
Summing it up
The journey of your eggs from freezing to potential future use is complex and exciting, underscored by sophisticated science and meticulous care. Deciding to freeze your eggs can be an empowering choice, giving you autonomy over your fertility and future family planning. Knowing what happens to your eggs after freezing them can provide comfort and clarity as you navigate your fertility journey.
In the end, egg freezing is an investment in your future, offering an opportunity to expand your family when the time is right for you. It's a testament to the advancements in reproductive science and a tool for you to take control of your fertility. Trust in the process, seek support when needed, and above all, know that your choices are valid, and your feelings are heard. After all, the journey to parenthood, in whatever form it takes, is a voyage of hope, love, and extraordinary potential.
If you’re ready to freeze your eggs, we’re here to help. Reach out or learn more about our Freeze program.
Read more:
How to Support Your Partner Through the Cofertility Split Program
If you are part of Cofertility’s Split Program, or even donating your eggs elsewhere, this is a helpful guide to share with your partner.
If you are part of Cofertility’s Split Program, or even donating your eggs elsewhere, this is a helpful guide to share with your partner.
At Cofertility, we are on a mission to support individuals and families across different phases of the fertility journey. Our work transcends the boundaries of traditional fertility care, forging connections that breathe life into the dreams of thousands of families, both today and the future.
Through our unique Split Program, we've had the privilege of working with many egg freezers and donors, and know the experience varies widely. We've witnessed joy, apprehension, hope, and triumph, and we've come to recognize that the process of egg sharing is multifaceted and profound. Our journey with these remarkable individuals has not only exposed us to the wide spectrum of emotions and decisions, but has also underscored the indispensable role of a robust support system throughout the journey.
Becoming an egg donor presents a multitude of emotional, physical, and ethical considerations. How, then, can friends, family, or significant others support a Split member during this journey?
In the following guide, we hope to share the insights we've gathered, offering a pathway for those seeking to support a loved one through this journey.
Understand the process
It’s helpful for you to understand the logistical and medical process your partner or loved one is going through. Here are a few guides to get up to speed:
- What's the Egg Retrieval Process Like?
- Everything You Need To Know About Egg Freezing Medication
- The Ultimate Guide to the Split Program
- Disclosed vs. Undisclosed Egg Donation: How Should I Choose?
- What are the Side Effects and Risks of Egg Freezing?
Offer assistance
The Split members' journey with egg freezing will require numerous medical appointments for ultrasounds and bloodwork. Your presence at these appointments can provide a reassuring sense of companionship.
But the most important task is being their reliable ride home from the egg retrieval procedure (in fact, it’s required that they do not drive after this procedure). This might be a clinic near home or you may be asked to travel with your partner to a clinic near the intended parents (if this is the case, travel expenses for both of you will be covered).
Once they get home, ensuring they have the things they need to be comfortable—whether it's a favorite blanket, soothing tea, or just your comforting presence—can make a significant difference in their experience. These thoughtful actions underscore the human connection at the heart of this medical process, turning what could be a solitary journey into a shared experience of empathy and care.
Egg freezing is considered a safe procedure, and complications are rare. But you should know the red flags. If you notice any of the symptoms below, report them to the healthcare provider asap:
- Temperature above 101 F
- Severe abdominal pain or swelling
- Severe nausea or vomiting that doesn’t go away
- Heavy vaginal bleeding (soaking through a pad in an hour; some light bleeding is normal)
- Difficulty urinating, or painful urination
- Fainting or dizziness
Help with the shots
The first step in the egg freezing process is to stimulate the ovaries to produce multiple eggs to be retrieved. This is done with the use of fertility medication, administered in the form of injectable hormones over 10-12 days.
Helping your loved one with these required injections is huge. This is not a task for everyone, and it's completely understandable if it falls outside your comfort zone. If you do have the capacity and willingness to assist with administering the shots, your help would undoubtedly be appreciated.
However, even if you prefer not to take a hands-on role, your presence while they give themselves the shot can still make a meaningful difference.
Simply keeping them company, offering words of encouragement, or offering a little treat (chocolate?) or surprise after each shot can transform an intimidating necessity into a shared moment of support and connection.
Respect the decision
Friends, family, and partners should respect the donor's autonomy in this deeply personal decision. Recognize that this choice belongs solely to the person making it, and it may reflect a multitude of considerations, both practical and emotional.
Respecting this decision requires acknowledging your partner's autonomy and avoiding any attempts to influence or question her choice. Supporting her means listening without judgment, asking thoughtful questions to understand her perspective, and reassuring her of your support.
Research shows that egg donors are generally happy with their decision and the vast majority do not regret it (in one study of an egg sharing program, only 2.1% regretted their decision to participate). And anecdotally speaking, donors we work with at Cofertility are grateful for the opportunity to donate their eggs and keep half of the eggs retrieved for their own future use, for free.
Concerns and curiosity are natural, but they must be handled with delicacy and empathy. Being there for her doesn't mean agreeing with her on every point but rather offering a safe space where she can express her feelings and thoughts freely.
Empirical studies on autonomy and healthcare decisions reinforce the importance of respecting individual choices, particularly those concerning one's body and reproductive rights. In the context of egg donation, this principle becomes paramount, reflecting the ethical, emotional, and personal dimensions of the choice at hand.
Celebrate the achievement
Egg freezing and donation can be an expression of personal values, a decision that encapsulates a woman's beliefs, or simply an achievement that deserves acknowledgment and celebration.
Celebrating this achievement can take many forms, from simple words of congratulations and admiration to more elaborate expressions of support. It might mean throwing a small celebration, writing a heartfelt letter, or finding another personal way to convey pride and gratitude.
Celebration does not necessarily mean a public declaration but rather an authentic and personal acknowledgment of the strength, courage, and compassion embodied in the decision itself. The act of recognizing and honoring this choice can create a shared moment of joy and connection, strengthening the bonds between the donor and those closest to her.
In summary
Through our work with hundreds of donors, we've learned that the path is never solitary, nor should it be. The role of friends, family, partners, and significant others in this process cannot be overstated.
From understanding the technical aspects of the process to being a comforting presence during medical appointments, offering assistance with injections, respecting personal choices, and celebrating the decision, the support system surrounding a donor becomes an integral part of the experience. These connections not only ease the logistical and emotional challenges but transform the process into a shared journey that's imbued with empathy, respect, and love.
Our commitment to supporting individuals and families remains unwavering. By fostering a robust network of support and sharing our insights, we hope to make the journey not only more approachable but also more meaningful. The dreams of creating and nurturing life are collective ones, and we at Cofertility are honored to be part of these intimate and extraordinary stories.
How to Talk to Your Family About Donating Your Eggs
If your family is unfamiliar with the egg donation process, they may have numerous questions and concerns. Some of the most common questions revolve around the medical risks involved, potential contact with the intended parents (IPs), and the timeline of the whole process. Here's a guide to help you address these concerns.
Donating your eggs is an extraordinarily generous act. As an egg donor, you have the potential to help a family struggling with infertility or a same-sex couple realize their dreams of parenthood. But the decision to donate eggs is not one to be taken lightly, and it's natural to want the support and understanding of your family as you embark on this journey.
If your family is unfamiliar with the egg donation process, they may have numerous questions and concerns. Some of the most common questions revolve around the medical risks involved, potential contact with the intended parents (IPs), and the timeline of the whole process. Here's a guide to help you address these concerns.
Should I tell my family I’m an egg donor?
While there is no right answer, one thing is for certain, your decision to donate is yours and yours alone, and so is your decision to tell them… or not. This means you are the one who can best make this decision.
So when thinking through this decision, it is helpful to think about the relationships you have and what you feel comfortable telling those close to you. How supportive will they be about your decision? Do you feel afraid they might criticize you or not understand why you would want to do this, or try and talk you out of it? What is your fear or concern about telling, and how do you think this information will impact your relationships?
Read more in Should I Tell People I'm Donating My Eggs?
Common questions family members may have
What is the medical risk?
Egg freezing is considered a safe procedure. In a single egg freezing cycle, the risk of a serious adverse event is under 2.5%. Severe OHSS accounts for the majority of complications, occuring in 0.1-2% of cycles. The risk of other acute complications, including pelvic infection, intraperitoneal hemorrhage, or ovarian torsion, is small (<0.5%). That being said, many women do experience minor side effects – like bloating, constipation, nausea – from the medications and egg retrieval. Side effects are typically mild and short-lived.
Egg donation requires a series of hormone injections to stimulate the ovaries into producing multiple eggs during a single cycle. You can assure your family that these medications are prescribed under the careful supervision of a fertility doctor.
The egg retrieval process itself is a minor surgical procedure done under sedation, so you won't feel anything during the procedure. Post-procedure discomfort is typically minimal and can be managed with over-the-counter pain relievers.
You can remind your family that all steps of this process are carefully monitored by experienced fertility doctors who prioritize your health and safety above all.
Will egg donation impact your ability to have kids in the future?
Egg donation, which is the same medical procedure as egg freezing, won’t lower your egg reserve and it won’t affect your chances of getting pregnant naturally when you’re ready to do so. In fact, participating in our Split program – where you freeze your eggs for free when donating half to another family – can actually increase your chances of having a baby down the line because you are preserving younger eggs.
Who are the parents that need donor eggs?
Many types of families need egg donors to grow their family, including people facing infertility, LGBTQ+ couples, cancer survivors, women with age-related fertility decline, and more.
Sharing more about the family you are matched with can help humanize the experience.
What will your relationship be like with the intended parents?
The level of contact with the intended parents is highly dependent on the agreement you reach beforehand. Some arrangements are undisclosed, with no information exchanged between you and the IPs. Other arrangements are disclosed, allowing varying degrees of communication and contact, such as the exchange of letters or even face-to-face meetings.
Your choice about the type of relationship you wish to have with the IPs is up to you, and you should assure your family that you will make the choice that feels right.
What are the legal implications?
Understanding the legal rights and obligations associated with egg donation is important. You can let your family know that before the egg donation process begins, you will sign a legal contract that outlines the rights and obligations of all parties involved. This includes an agreement to relinquish all parental rights to any children born from the donated eggs.
All donors are given independent legal representation – at no expense – to explain the contract and ensure all your interests are protected.
How does Cofertility work?
Cofertility’s Split program offers women a chance to both freeze their own eggs and donate half the eggs to a family who cannot conceive otherwise. Every expense associated with the egg freezing procedure — medications, supplements, travel if necessary, insurance, and 10 years of storage — are completely free of charge.
Cofertility assigns a Member Advocate to each donor to support her throughout the entire journey. They’ll be there every step of the way as appointments get scheduled and plans for the cycle are made. No question is too small for Cofertility’s Member Advocate team. Plus, Split members have support of our entire community of others going through the same process.
How many babies are born via egg donation each year?
The exact number of babies born via egg donation each year can be difficult to determine due to variations in reporting standards worldwide. However, according to data from the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), about 12% of all in vitro fertilization (IVF) procedures in the United States involve the use of donor eggs. This suggests that thousands of babies are born each year thanks to egg donation.
How much time will it take?
Egg donation isn't a quick process, but the timeline can vary depending on several factors, including your menstrual cycle and the matching process with intended parents. The process begins with an application, followed by a screening process, which can take several weeks.
Once approved and matched with the IPs, you'll start the ovarian stimulation process, which takes about two weeks. This involves daily hormone injections to stimulate the ovaries. The egg retrieval procedure is scheduled once the eggs are mature, typically after 10-14 days of stimulation. Following the retrieval, you will have a brief recovery period, usually a day or two, to allow any minor discomfort or side effects to dissipate. You will know immediately how many eggs were retrieved and frozen for your own future use.
In total, from match to recovery, the process can take anywhere from two to four months.
Final thoughts
Your family's concerns and questions about your decision to become an egg donor are understandable. They want to ensure your safety and wellbeing, and these are valid concerns.
As you discuss the process, remind them of your reasons for making this choice and assure them of your commitment to understanding and minimizing the risks involved. Encourage them to accompany you to a medical consultation if possible, to provide them an opportunity to hear information directly from professionals, and to ask any questions they may have.
Your act of egg donation could bring immense joy to a couple longing for a child. It's a profound decision, and having your family's understanding and support will undoubtedly make the journey smoother.
Decoding the Lexicon of Egg Donation: A Guide for Egg Donors on the Continuum of Disclosure
Understand the various terms used within the realm of egg donation, and pros and cons of each type of disclosure status.
At Cofertility, we pride ourselves on guiding our members through the journey of egg donation, ensuring a supportive, transparent, and ethical process for all parties involved. One aspect of this process involves helping our members understand the various terms used within the realm of egg donation, and pros and cons of each type of disclosure status.
Each relationship is unique and depends on both the desires of you and family, as well as what’s best for any future donor conceived children.
This guide is meant to aid you in making informed decisions that align with your personal beliefs, comfort level, and the best interest of any potential donor conceived children.
Let’s dive into the terms:
- Anonymous egg donor: an outdated term used to describe someone whose identity is not shared with the family. In today’s age of social media and genetic testing, we think “anonymous” is a misnomer.
- Non-anonymous egg donor: an outdated term used to describe when an egg donor and intended parents have each other’s contact information.
- Known egg donor: usually used to describe an egg donor who knows the intended parents, like a family member or friend.
- Unknown egg donor: an egg donor that does not know the intended parents, and vice versa.
- Disclosed donation: the intended parents and egg donor exchange contact information and communicate directly. This does not mean they have an ongoing relationship, just that they have the names of one another.
- Undisclosed donation: the intended parents and egg donor do not exchange contact information.
- Open ID: the intended parents and egg donor do not exchange contact information, but the egg donor agrees to have her identity disclosed to the child born from her donation once the child reaches a certain age, typically at 18 years.
- Identity-release: another term for open ID.
The fallacy of the "anonymous" egg donor
Back in the day, egg donations were often declared "anonymous," meaning the identities of the egg donor and the intended parents were kept secret from each other. However, the concept of total anonymity seems antiquated in an era of advanced genetic testing and omnipresent social media. So, if someone promises you complete anonymity, treat that claim with skepticism.
Read more about why we don’t believe in anonymous egg donation.
Disclosed and undisclosed egg donation
Disclosed and undisclosed are the terms we prefer to use at Cofertility to describe the two types of disclosure agreements possible.
In a disclosed donation with Cofertility, you and the family will exchange contact information and can communicate directly. We highly encourage this model as it promotes transparency and aligns with feedback from donor-conceived community.
In an undisclosed donation, you do not exchange contact information and only communicate via Cofertility. Although we recommend disclosed donations, we respect the individual's choice for undisclosed donation after understanding the potential implications for donor-conceived child.
Regardless of your donation disclosure status being disclosed or undisclosed, you may choose to meet the family during the matching period without exchanging contact information.
The scope and degree of communication in a disclosed donation (both during and post-match) is what both parties make of it and can be outlined in your legal agreement. Communication can range from sharing an annual holiday card to direct, regular communication between you and the family.
Your disclosure status does not necessarily dictate the relationship with the family or child. For instance, you may opt for a disclosed donation, where you share contact information, but decide against maintaining regular communication.
Undisclosed egg donation with Open ID
For those who choose an undisclosed donation, open ID (sometimes called identity release) is an option. This model allows any child resulting from the donation to receive your contact information once they reach a certain age, typically 18 years.
This option safeguards the child’s right to learn about their genetic history, should they wish to. The open ID agreement is often structured based on the comfort and consent of all parties involved and takes into consideration the best interest of the donor conceived child.
Disclosed egg donation arrangement has varying degrees of interaction
Here are a couple of questions you might consider asking yourself in defining your preferences for a disclosed donation:
- How do I feel about the possibility of the intended parent’s future child reaching out to me when they turn 18 or another age?
- Do I envision myself forming a lasting connection with the intended parents and their child, or am I more comfortable with a limited interaction?
- Am I open to receiving or sharing updates, and if so, what frequency feels right to me?
- What boundaries or personal limits do I want to establish regarding communication and relationship with the intended parents vs. their child?
- Can I envision scenarios where my level of involvement might change over time?
You don’t have to have all of the answers. It is only natural that your needs and preferences will evolve with time. To help you gauge your current preferences, consider the following scenarios illustrating a disclosed donation at various degrees of engagement.
Lower engagement scenarios:
- Medical updates only: You are comfortable with exchanging contact information but agree with the intended parents not to send or receive any social updates. The intended parents can reach out directly with any medical/health questions, and you agree to inform the family of any new medical information that arises.
- Occasional updates: You and the intended parents agree to exchange occasional updates through email, letters, or text. An example of this is receiving an annual holiday card. This approach maintains a sense of connection without imposing an ongoing commitment.
Moderate engagement scenarios:
- Virtual check-ins: You and the intended parents opt for occasional video calls, perhaps once or twice a year. This allows for more personal interaction and a chance to see the child's growth, fostering a stronger bond while keeping the relationship primarily digital.
- Scheduled visits: You and the intended parents might agree to an in-person visit, perhaps once every few years, providing an opportunity for face-to-face interaction.
Higher engagement scenarios are rare, and generally occur between donors and families with a pre-existing relationship. That being said, in some cases, if you (and the parents) want more involvement, it is possible.
The power of choice: respecting cultural preferences & unique circumstances
While we advocate for disclosed or undisclosed open ID donations, we respect the cultural needs and unique circumstances of those who prefer undisclosed donations. At Cofertility, we strive to connect egg donors with research and experts, aiding in informed decision-making, and respecting cultural considerations.
Understanding these terms and the principles behind them can make your journey through egg donation smoother and more transparent. We are here to support and guide you, ensuring a process that honors all parties involved.
Learn more about becoming an egg donor:
Want to Donate Your Eggs? Tips on Talking It Over with Your Partner
If your partner is unfamiliar with the egg donation process, they may have numerous questions and concerns. Some of the most common questions revolve around the medical risks involved, potential contact with the intended parents (IPs), and the timeline of the whole process. Here's a guide to help you address these concerns.
Donating your eggs is an extraordinarily generous act. As an egg donor, you have the potential to help a family struggling with infertility or a same-sex couple realize their dreams of parenthood. But the decision to donate eggs is not one to be taken lightly, and it's natural to want the support and understanding of your family as you embark on this journey.
If your partner is unfamiliar with the egg donation process, they may have numerous questions and concerns. Some of the most common questions revolve around the medical risks involved, potential contact with the intended parents (IPs), and the timeline of the whole process. Here's a guide to help you address these concerns.
Should I tell my partner/boyfriend/spouse I want to donate my eggs?
While it is absolutely within your right to keep this information private, there are considerations that might sway you toward opening up about it.
First, it may be hard to hide. The egg donation process involves medical appointments, injections, and potentially some down time after the egg retrieval. It could become difficult to keep these aspects concealed, especially if you and your partner share many aspects of daily life. From a practical standpoint, hiding the process may add unnecessary stress or complications.
Second, you might want their support. Sharing the decision with your partner can foster open communication and enable emotional support throughout the process. It provides an opportunity for your partner to understand your motivations and to be part of the experience, even if only as a listener or a helping hand.
Your partner's reaction to this decision might also provide valuable insights into the relationship's dynamics. If the response is dismissive, excessively critical, or unsupportive, it may be a red flag that prompts further reflection on compatibility and shared values. Conversely, a supportive partner's response can strengthen the relationship, building deeper trust and empathy.
While there is no right answer, one thing is for certain, your decision to donate is yours and yours alone, and so is your decision to tell them… or not. This means you are the one who can best make this decision.
Read more in: Should I Tell People I'm Donating My Eggs?
Common questions partners may have
What is the medical risk?
Egg freezing is considered a safe procedure. In a single egg freezing cycle, the risk of a serious adverse event is under 2.5%. Severe OHSS accounts for the majority of complications, occurring in 0.1-2% of cycles. The risk of other acute complications, including pelvic infection, intraperitoneal hemorrhage, or ovarian torsion, is small (<0.5%). That being said, many women do experience minor side effects – like bloating, constipation, nausea – from the medications and egg retrieval. Side effects are typically mild and short-lived.
Egg donation requires a series of hormone injections to stimulate the ovaries into producing multiple eggs during a single cycle. You can assure your partner that these medications are prescribed under the careful supervision of a fertility doctor.
The egg retrieval process itself is a minor surgical procedure done under sedation, so you won't feel anything during the procedure. Post-procedure discomfort is typically minimal and can be managed with over-the-counter pain relievers.
You can remind your partner that all steps of this process are carefully monitored by experienced, board-certified fertility doctors who prioritize your health and safety above all.
Will you be freezing eggs or embryos and why?
If you’re in a relationship with a biologically male partner, they may be wondering if you are going to freeze embryos or eggs.
While it’s true that thawing success rates can be slightly higher for embryos than eggs (at a 95% survival rate vs 90% for eggs), the downside is that once an egg is fertilized with sperm, there’s no going back, so freezing eggs instead of embryos will give you more options down the line.
We know, this might be a little bit of an awkward one to bring up with your partner, but it might come up at some point, so the best you can do is be prepared with the facts.
Read more in:
Will egg donation impact your ability to have kids in the future?
Egg donation, which is the same medical procedure as egg freezing, won’t lower your egg reserve and it won’t affect your chances of getting pregnant naturally when you’re ready to do so.
In fact, participating in our Split program – where you freeze your eggs for free when donating half to another family – can actually increase your chances of having a baby down the line because you are preserving younger eggs.
Who are the parents that need donor eggs?
Many types of families need egg donors to grow their family, including people facing infertility, LGBTQ+ couples, cancer survivors, women with age-related fertility decline, and more.
Sharing more about the family you are matched with can help humanize the experience.
What will your relationship be like with the intended parents?
The level of contact with the intended parents is highly dependent on the agreement you reach beforehand. Some arrangements are undisclosed, with no information exchanged between you and the IPs. Other arrangements are disclosed, allowing varying degrees of communication and contact, such as the exchange of letters or even face-to-face meetings.
Your choice about the type of relationship you wish to have with the IPs is up to you, and you should assure your partner that you will make the choice that feels right.
Does this mean our future kids will have siblings out there?
Technically speaking, children born from your donated eggs would share a genetic link with you, as well as with any of your existing biological relatives. However, neither you nor your partner would have any legal or parental ties to these children.
A sentiment eloquently expressed by one of our egg donors to her boyfriend captures this nuance: “I view egg donation as an act of helping others realize their family dreams. The children born from my eggs will belong to their own families, not ours. While the connection may be biological, it isn't familial."
What are the legal implications?
Understanding the legal rights and obligations associated with egg donation is important. You can let your partner know that before the egg donation process begins, you will sign a legal contract that outlines the rights and obligations of all parties involved. This includes an agreement to relinquish all parental rights to any children born from the donated eggs.
How does Cofertility work?
Cofertility’s Split program offers women a chance to both freeze their own eggs and donate half the eggs to a family who cannot conceive otherwise. Every expense associated with the egg freezing procedure — medications, supplements, travel if necessary, insurance, and 10 years of storage — are completely free of charge.
Cofertility assigns a Member Advocate to each donor to support her throughout the entire journey. They’ll be there every step of the way as appointments get scheduled and plans for the cycle are made. No question is too small for Cofertility’s Member Advocate team. Plus, Split members have support of our entire community of others going through the same process.
How much time will it take?
The timeline can vary depending on several factors, including your menstrual cycle and the matching process with intended parents. The process begins with an application, followed by a screening process, which can take several weeks.
Once approved and matched with the IPs, you'll start the ovarian stimulation process, which takes about two weeks. This involves daily hormone injections to stimulate the ovaries. The egg retrieval procedure is scheduled once the eggs are mature, typically after 10-14 days of stimulation. Following the retrieval, you will have a brief recovery period, usually a day or two, to allow any minor discomfort or side effects to dissipate. You will know immediately how many eggs were retrieved and frozen for your own future use.
In total, from match to retrieval, the process can take anywhere from two to four months.
Will you get enough eggs to use in the future?
Being part of Cofertility’s program means you passed rigorous medical screening, including AMH and antral follicle count, and that our medical team and the doctor performing the egg retrieval believe you are a good candidate for egg sharing. This doesn’t guarantee that you will get a lot of eggs, but it is pretty predictable.
Furthermore, a UK study of egg sharing amongst IVF patients found that participating in an egg sharing program did not compromise the chance of achieving a pregnancy or live birth for the egg sharer or the recipient.
Summing it up
Your partner’s concerns and questions about your decision to become an egg donor are understandable. They want to ensure your safety and wellbeing, and these are valid concerns.
As you discuss the process, remind them of your reasons for making this choice and assure them of your commitment to understanding and minimizing the risks involved. Encourage them to accompany you to a medical consultation if possible, to provide them an opportunity to hear information directly from professionals, and to ask any questions they may have.
Your act of egg donation could bring immense joy to a family longing for a child. It's a beautiful decision, and having your partner’s understanding and support will undoubtedly make the journey even sweeter.
Read more:
What Does It Mean to Donate Your Eggs?
Egg donation is an incredible way for women to help others fulfill their dreams of parenthood — but you might be wondering, what does “egg donation” actually mean? The process involves several steps, and it’s important to have a rock-solid understanding of what’s involved before moving forward with donating your eggs.
Egg donation is an incredible way for women to help others fulfill their dreams of parenthood — but you might be wondering, what does “egg donation” actually mean? The process involves several steps, and it’s important to have a rock-solid understanding of what’s involved before moving forward with donating your eggs.
In this article, we’ll explore the intricacies of egg donation, why women choose to donate their eggs, dispel common myths about egg donation, and share more about how the Cofertility Split program is a unique approach to egg donation.
How egg donation works
Egg donation is a medical process in which a woman provides her eggs to assist another individual or couple in conceiving a child. This process can be a beacon of hope for those struggling with infertility, same-sex couples, or individuals who cannot use their eggs for various medical reasons, like cancer survivors.
The egg donation process, step-by-step
Screening and matching
As a first step, if you’re interested in donating your eggs, you can apply to Freeze by Co’s programs by answering a few quick questions about yourself. If you qualify, you’ll move on to the full application where you’ll provide some information about your family medical history, genetic background, and motivations for going through the process.
Once you’ve been accepted into Freeze by Co’s Split program — where you can freeze your eggs for free when you donate half of the eggs retrieved to another family who can’t conceive — you’ll immediately join our member community, where you can connect with others at the exact same point in the process, lean on each other, and learn from one another.
As you await your intended parent match, you’ll undergo some bloodwork at a local lab to get an idea of your potential ovarian reserve (or egg count) ahead of time. This helps give everyone the confidence that you’ll get enough eggs to share. Once you match with an intended parent, you’ll then undergo in-person medical and psych testing before moving on to legal contracts, your stimulation cycle, and retrieval.
Donating eggs is a big deal, and not to be taken lightly on either end — so these first screening steps are incredibly important!
Legal
Once you’ve entered into a match with intended parents and you’ve passed your initial physical screening, you will enter into a legal agreement with the intended parents. This document will lay out all specifics regarding your and the intended parents’ rights throughout the process. Specifically, it will note that by donating your eggs, you waive all rights to those eggs and are not considered the parent of any resulting embryos or children.
This contract also provides the opportunity to put into writing your preferences around disclosure and communication, and intended parents will do the same. Ultimately, this is a vital step throughout the process — and at Cofertility, we provide members of our Split program legal counsel to ensure they are represented fairly.
Stimulation and retrieval
Once you’ve been given the green light, you’ll begin your egg donation cycle. During your 10-14 day cycle, you’ll take injectable hormone medications daily to stimulate your ovaries to produce multiple egg-containing follicles. Frequent monitoring via quick blood tests and ultrasounds will ensure that your eggs are reaching peak maturity prior to retrieval. As the eggs mature, you may feel some bloating.
When the eggs reach maturity, a minor surgical procedure known as an egg retrieval is performed under sedation. A specialized needle is used to extract the eggs from your ovaries, and it’s a relatively quick procedure, and you’ll go home that day to get some rest. Your doctor will monitor you closely afterwards and check in after the procedure to ensure there are no complications.
Your half of the eggs will be frozen and safely stored for up to 10 years for free. The other half will go to the family you matched with.
Read more:
So, why would a woman donate her eggs?
There are many reasons why someone might donate her eggs, but the main rationale we tend to hear falls into a few main categories:
- Empathy and compassion: Many women choose to donate their eggs out of a desire to help others experience the joy of parenthood. They want to make a meaningful difference in someone's life and recognize the emotional struggles of those trying to bring children into the world, especially if they know someone first-hand who has faced family-building challenges.
- Ethical considerations: Many egg donors share a strong belief in reproductive autonomy, allowing individuals and couples to make choices about their family-building journey.
- Opportunity to freeze your eggs for free: Egg donation can also offer financial compensation to donors, though the exact amount varies by location and agency. Our Split program instead offers a unique approach, allowing women to freeze their eggs for free when they donate half the eggs retrieved to another family.
Facts and myths about egg donation
When it comes to egg donation, there’s a ton of misinformation out there — let’s dive into some of the big myths you may come across and dissect which ones are fact vs. fiction.
Can you still have kids after donating eggs?
Yes. Donating eggs does not affect a woman's ability to have children in the future. A stimulation and retrieval cycle involves such a small fraction of a woman’s total egg supply, which the body replenishes. That said, it's essential to consider your own family-building goals with a healthcare provider before becoming a donor — which is why we offer our Split program. Those participating in the program are able to preserve a bit of their own fertility while doing something amazing for another family.
Read more in Does Donating Eggs Affect Your Fertility?
Are donor eggs your baby?
Nope. Donor eggs are *not* babies. They are half of the genetic material used for the child of the intended parent(s), with the remaining genetic material coming from the sperm provider (the intended parent or a sperm donor). A donor's contribution is solely the eggs, not the full genetic makeup of the child. And, as mentioned above, as part of the process you’ll sign a legal agreement clarifying that you do not have rights to any embryos or children resulting from these eggs.
Will I experience psychological impact?
Yes — but in a good way! If screened and educated properly (this is a big “if”), anyone donating eggs should have full informed consent about the donation process and everything involved. All egg donors should undergo thorough psychological assessments and have access to counseling before, during, and after the process to ensure their emotional well being.
At Freeze by Co, our model removes cash compensation from the egg donation process (rather, enabling women in our Split program to freeze half of the eggs for their own future use for free). We’ve designed the program to provide Split members with the opportunity to not only preserve some of their own fertility future, but also help another family. This way, everyone involved can feel good about the journey.
Read more in Will I Regret Donating My Eggs?
Donating eggs through Cofertility's Split program
Cofertility's Split program is a unique approach to egg donation that distinguishes itself from traditional methods rooted in cash compensation and icky practices. Our program helps provide everyone — both the person freezing and donating their eggs and the intended parent(s) — with autonomy to grow their family, whether that’s today, or maybe some time in the future.
Members of our Split program get to keep half of the eggs retrieved, plus:
- Free storage of their own eggs in cryopreservation for up to 10 years
- Coverage of all medical costs for the egg donation process
- Connection to the Cofertility community for support all along the way and after too
- The ability to work with the intended parents to decide together what your relationship will look like
If giving your eggs to intended parents sounds like something you would like to do, you may be able to qualify for the free egg freezing process and have your donation process covered too.
Take our quiz to see if you qualify for our Split program today!
We believe that every donor deserves to have a positive and empowering experience, and we are committed to making that a reality. That’s why Cofertility was named one of the Best Egg Donor Programs by Egg Donor Connect.
Q&A with a Cofertility Split Member: “Helping Someone Who Wants to Be a Parent So Badly Is Truly Life Changing”
Cofertility is a human-first fertility ecosystem rewriting the egg freezing and egg donation experience. Our Split program allows women to freeze their eggs at no cost, when they donate half to a family that could not otherwise conceive. I had the privilege of sitting down with one of our Split members to delve into her personal journey—why she chose to freeze her eggs through our program, how she navigated the emotional toll, and the future she envisages for herself and her family.
Cofertility is a human-first fertility ecosystem rewriting the egg freezing and egg donation experience. Our Split program allows women to freeze their eggs at no cost, when they donate half to a family that could not otherwise conceive. We are obsessed with improving the family-building journey — today or in the future — and are in an endless pursuit to make these experiences more positive.
Today, I have the privilege of sitting down with one of our Split members to delve into her personal journey—why she chose to freeze her eggs through our program, how she navigated the emotional toll, and the future she envisages for herself and her family. By peeling back the layers, we seek to understand not just the practicalities but also the emotional and psychological nuances of this choice.
Why did you decide to freeze your eggs through Cofertility’s Split program? What were the factors that led to this decision?
I had considered donating my eggs a few times before I had heard of Cofertility, but it had never moved beyond it being an idea in my head because it never felt right. Most of the marketing I saw about egg donation focused on the monetary benefits, which I understood because it is an invasive procedure, but they never talked about where your eggs were going. It felt very impersonal and that I would have no control or say in where these eggs would go.
I had not considered it again until I heard about Cofertility on Instagram. When I first learned about the idea of helping a couple to conceive while also protecting your own fertility I thought it was genius and wondered why this wasn't an option already. My company does not have egg freezing benefits so egg freezing wasn't something I had been planning to do.
Cofertility's split option gave me an opportunity I hadn't even considered - egg donation that didn't feel as yucky and a chance to preserve my own fertility without a huge price tag. It really felt surreal that I would be able to freeze my eggs and not worry so much about a timeline to decide on kids.
What was the hardest part of the process?
Overall, I really felt that Cofertility made this process quite easy for me. Having a member advocate throughout the entire process was incredible, and not having that person switch or change made it really easy to build up the trust.
At the clinic I went to I saw various nurses and doctors, but my Cofertility member advocate stayed the same and that consistency was extremely impactful to my mental health throughout the process.
At the clinic I went to I saw various nurses and doctors, but my Cofertility member advocate stayed the same and that consistency was extremely impactful to my mental health throughout the process. Out of the entire process, I would say the number of appointments and the amount of time needed during the two-week hormone cycle was probably the hardest. Getting blood drawn multiple times a week, followed by doctors appointments, and all the waiting that comes with both does require time investment. I would try to make my appointments as early in the morning as possible to not interfere with my work, but giving yourself grace and flexibility for those two weeks is necessary. I am fortunate to have the flexibility at my job and work with a group of people that were extremely supportive of what I was going through, but if you are someone who is not used to the process it can feel like a lot of time out of your control.
Was there anything that you were nervous about, but ended up not being as bad as you thought?
I was most nervous about the shots going into it, but they ended up not being as bad as I had expected them to be. For the most part, the needles were much shorter and thinner than I expected and I was able to do all of the shots myself.
In fact, once I did my first one I felt a sense of pride and accomplishment for being able to do it. Cofertility had given me a goody bag when I started my cycle and the little ice pack was wonderful for any post-shot discomfort. I also tried to pair the shots with a treat for myself as a little reward... give myself a shot and have some chocolate, give myself a shot and watch a show I love, give myself a shot and do a little online shopping. This process was all new and different for my body so I tried to give myself grace and love throughout it!
Read about egg freezing shots in I'm Afraid of Needles; Can I Still Freeze My Eggs?
Did freezing your eggs affect your relationships or dating life in any way? How did you navigate these aspects during the process?
When thinking about the people I know who have gone through the egg freezing journey, they were all in different stages of their dating / relationship journey. Some were casually dating and not looking for anything serious, some had a new partner that they hoped would turn into something serious, and some were with a long-term partner but not ready to build their family further than that yet. I fall into that last category. When I decided to freeze my eggs with Cofertility, my husband and I had been together for 9 years and married for one. While we were very serious about each other, we weren't sure if or when we wanted kids, but we knew we didn't want them now. My husband was very supportive of the idea of freezing my eggs for our own future use, but I was curious how he would feel about me donating eggs to another family. When I brought it up to him he truly had less hesitation than I even had. His perspective from day one has been that it is my body and if I feel comfortable with the choice then he is here to support me. That position did not change throughout the process, and if anything he (similar to myself) felt more confident each day with the decision to "split" once we met the intended parents and got to know them more.
I feel very lucky to have had a supportive partner to go through this with and someone who trusted my choices 100%. I know this route is something that may take some partners time to digest and understand, but I think in the end the most important thing is that you, as the person freezing and donating your eggs, feel that this is right for you.
Read more in Want to Donate Your Eggs? Tips on Talking It Over with Your Partner
How did you manage the emotional and psychological aspects of freezing and donating your eggs?
Looking back, the opportunity to know the parents who I was donating the eggs to played a huge role in managing the donation emotionally and psychologically. When I first learned about Cofertility I wasn't sure if I would want to have a disclosed donation. I was worried about what that would mean and what that relationship would look like.
After learning more about egg donation, it was clear that there is no such thing as an anonymous donor due to the genetic testing that exists today. If I wanted to donate my eggs, I needed to be okay that the child(ren) that they created would be able to know who I am at some point in their life. This was something that I thought over for a while and researched how DCP (Donor Conceived People) felt about. I wanted to know that I was doing the right thing for the possible children that came from these eggs - my own and the intended parents'.
In the end I felt really good about my decision to have a disclosed donation. Knowing that both the intended parents and myself were on the same page on this built a foundation of care and immense respect for the other party.
In the end I felt really good about my decision to have a disclosed donation. Knowing that both the intended parents and myself were on the same page on this built a foundation of care and immense respect for the other party. I have always shared with them that I want to follow their lead on what feels right throughout the process and the years to come and they have been great communicators of what they want while respecting my choices as well. This relationship, along with the huge support from Cofertility, made the process really supportive of my mental health. I went into it wondering if the combination of doing something totally new, medications / hormones, and other life stress would be hard to handle, but I think the peace of mind that comes with preserving your fertility hugely outweighed any weight from those factors.
What are your plans for the future regarding your frozen eggs? How do you envision incorporating them into your family-building journey, if applicable?
Right now, my husband and I haven't decided when we will start to build our family. In a perfect and easy world, we would have no trouble conceiving and the eggs I have frozen wouldn't need to be used, but I have seen for so many people I love this is not always the case. Whether we use the eggs to conceive all of our future children, conceive naturally at first then need to use the eggs for later children, or not use the eggs at all, it gives me so much peace of mind to know that they are there and we took this step to preserve my fertility. It is not an insurance plan, but it feels good to know that Cofertility opened a door for me that otherwise I likely would not have opened on my own.
Lastly, what advice would you give to someone who is considering freezing and donating their eggs? Are there any important factors they should keep in mind?
The biggest advice I would have is to really understand if you want your egg freezing journey to be something that happens and you are done with it or if you are open to something that will be a little part of you for your life.
What I mean by this is that if you freeze your eggs without donating you go through the process, the injections, and the retrieval and then you are done unless you one day need to use those eggs. When you freeze your eggs and donate half you go through that same process, but in the future there may be a DCP that reaches out to you once they are 18 to try to make a connection, or intended parents that reach out when they need additional family medical history, or maybe you have a closer relationship with the intended parents and you get annual cards with updates of the DCP.
No matter the case, there is a possibility that your involvement with egg donation does not end entirely when the eggs are physically donated. This was something I really thought hard about and found a lot of peace with. The process that Cofertility leads you through with speaking to a fertility counselor both alone and with the intended parents helped with that as well.
On top of the counseling, having a clear contract and great legal support (Cofertility also helps with recommending representation) gave me peace of mind that I knew and agreed to all boundaries in the donation.
I truly think egg donation is such a meaningful thing to do, helping someone who wants to be a parent so badly conceive is truly life changing and I am so grateful to Cofertility for giving me the opportunity to help out an amazing couple and also preserve my own fertility in the process.
Read more:
Your Egg Freezing Care Team
Here, we'll break down the different members of your fertility team and what services they provide, to help you understand who you'll be working with on your egg freezing journey.
When you're freezing your eggs, it can feel like you're navigating a maze of unfamiliar terms and unfamiliar people. Who are all these people? What do they do? And when should you see them?
Here, we'll break down the different members of your fertility team and what services they provide, to help you understand who you'll be working with on your egg freezing journey.
Your Primary Care Physician (PCP)
For some, the dialogue about fertility begins with a conversation with their Primary Care Physician (PCP). This medical generalist can provide an overview of the fertility landscape and may guide you towards specialized care if your situation calls for it.
Obstetrician-Gynecologist (OBGYN)
As a specialist in women's reproductive health, an Obstetrician-Gynecologist (OBGYN) can offer nuanced insight into fertility and hormonal health. Although not directly involved in the egg freezing process, their counsel is often a valuable stepping stone to more specialized care.
Reproductive Endocrinologist (REI)
An OBGYN with additional training in reproductive endocrinology, your REI is the main person overseeing your egg freezing journey. Specializing in the hormonal and medical intricacies of fertility, they oversee and perform the egg retrieval process. Many people start their egg freezing/donation journeys with an REI consultation.
Nurse Coordinator
An RN serving as a lynchpin in patient care, the Nurse Coordinator organizes patient education, scheduling, and medication management. Their role varies by clinic but invariably serves to harmonize the efforts of the entire fertility team.
Embryologist
The Embryologist also works at the fertility clinic and is the scientist who helps fertilize and grow your embryos! They are in charge of making sure your eggs get safely frozen.
Egg Freezing Agency, such as Cofertility
For those seeking an additional layer of service and support, Cofertility helps streamline your journey. We help you find a clinic, connect with others freezing their eggs at the same time, and fill the gaps not covered by a standard fertility clinic.
Financial Counselor
Navigating the costs of egg freezing can be daunting. A Financial Counselor specializes in demystifying this aspect, helping you explore insurance coverage and financing options.
Fertility Courier
Responsible for the logistical challenge of safely transporting your frozen eggs, the Fertility Courier is a specialized service provider you may never meet but will trust implicitly.
Cryostorage Facility
A cryostorage facility serves as the vault for your frozen tissue. Specializing in the preservation of biological material, these facilities are where your eggs will reside until you decide to use them. We have a partnership with TMRW where we have negotiated discounted rates for our members.
Genetic counselor
Being a carrier doesn't mean you have the condition, but it can still be concerning when your genetic testing reveals you have a genetic predispositions to certain conditions. Your genetic counselor helps you understand the implications of your carrier status. They can explain the risks, potential impacts on future children, and provide guidance on family planning.
Third-party reproductive (TPR) care coordinator
A clinic employee who works in the field of assisted reproductive technology (ART) and reproductive medicine. Their primary role is to facilitate and coordinate various aspects of third-party reproduction, which involves using donated eggs, sperm, or embryos, as well as gestational surrogacy.
If you participate in our Split program, there are even more people you will work with along the way
Our Split program offers women a chance to freeze their eggs for free when donating half of the eggs retrieved to a family who cannot otherwise conceive. If you qualify for the program and decide to donate half of your retrieved eggs, every expense associated with the egg freezing procedure — medications, supplements, travel if necessary, insurance, and 10 years of storage — are completely free of charge. We don’t even need a payment or credit card up front, as the family you match with covers all the expenses.
Member Advocate
At Cofertility, the Member Advocate serves as your personalized concierge, easing communication among all the parties above and ensuring a smooth journey from start to finish. A Member Advocate plays a crucial role in supporting you through the complex and highly regulated process of egg freezing and donation, helping you navigate the medical, emotional, and logistical aspects of preserving your fertility with compassion, evidence-based research and trustworthy guidance.
Fertility Psychologist
Emotional support is invaluable. We have a Fertility Psychologist on our team to support the psychological and emotional aspects of your journey, offering screening and therapeutic support.
Third-party Reproduction Lawyer
When you match with a family, you will work with a Fertility Lawyer to ensure that all agreements, from donor agreements to future use contracts, are conducted within the bounds of the law. We can help you find a lawyer with expertise in this space, which is entirely free to you.
It's important to note that not everyone needs the same team or the same services. Your path will be as unique as you are; tailored to meet your specific needs and circumstances. Never hesitate to ask questions or advocate for yourself; after all, this is your journey, and you deserve a team that not only supports but champions your reproductive goals. The most important person on your fertility team is you.
At Cofertility, we have a preferred network of partners across the country that can help with every aspect of your egg donation journey, from the legal contracts to the embryo storage. While reading this list can feel overwhelming, if you work with us, know that we can handle most every interaction.
What Kind of Families Do You Help When You Donate Your Eggs With Cofertility?
One of the most important aspects of egg donation is having a clear understanding of what happens to your eggs once donated, and what kinds of families you’ll help. Here, we outline several types of families that you may help when you choose to participate in our Split program.
So, you’re considering freezing and donating your eggs with Cofertility. This is exciting! Donating a portion of your eggs to another family who needs them in order to have children is an incredible decision. But it’s certainly not one to be taken lightly, so you’re doing the right thing by researching the process and considering all factors (and perspectives) involved.
One of the most important aspects of egg donation is having a clear understanding of what happens to your eggs once donated, and what kinds of families you’ll help. Here, we outline several types of families that you may help when you choose to participate in our Split program.
How does the Split program work?
Cofertility was founded on the principles of making egg freezing more accessible and empowering, while also helping grow families via egg donation. With our Split program, those who qualify are able to freeze their eggs completely for free (including up to 10 years of frozen egg storage!) when they donate half of the eggs retrieved to another family who can’t conceive. We consider our unique model a win for everyone involved, and a more human approach to egg donation.
Through the Cofertility Split program, once you’ve qualified, signed your program agreement, and undergone initial fertility testing, your profile will become available to match with intended parents on our Family by Co platform. These intended parents will be able to view your profile and hopefully connect with you, your values, and your motivations for donating a portion of your eggs — in which case, they’ll move forward with a match!
What is “egg sharing,” anyway?
Once you have matched with intended parents and undergone some additional screening for clearance purposes and industry guideline compliance, you’ll kick off your egg freezing cycle. Within this cycle, you’ll take 10-14 days of injectable medication that will stimulate your ovaries to mature as many eggs as possible. When the eggs have reached peak maturity, you will undergo a retrieval procedure under light anesthesia where the doctor will use a vaginal ultrasound to remove the eggs.
As part of our egg sharing model, once their eggs are retrieved, our Split members will have half of those eggs immediately frozen and stored for free for up to 10 years (they can be removed from storage any time). The other half of the retrieved eggs will go to the intended parents and can be fertilized with their sperm of choice. If an odd number of mature eggs is retrieved, the additional mature egg will go to the intended parents.
Types of families you help when donating eggs with Cofertility
There are many types of intended parents who require egg donation in order to conceive and grow their families.
LGBTQ+ families
As the world has become more tolerant of diverse sexual identity and orientation, so too has it become more tolerant of the evolution of what a “family” looks like. For LGBTQ+ families, this acceptance has been incredibly meaningful in being able to live and grow their families freely. According to 2021 U.S. Census Bureau data, there are 1.2 million same-sex couple households in the US, and about 15% of these couples have children.
For gay dads in particular, egg donation plays a vital role in providing the ability for them to have biological children. Eggs shared via donation can be fertilized with sperm from one of the intended fathers, with a subsequent pregnancy carried via gestational carrier. Remember, children of gay dads don’t happen by accident; they are the result of lots of effort, motivation, and desire to become fathers. We’re proud to support this growing population of parents.
People struggling with infertility
Did you know that, according to the World Health Organization, 1 in 6 people worldwide face some sort of fertility challenge? With 1 in 4 pregnancies ending in a loss and 12% of women experiencing difficulties becoming pregnant or carrying a child to term, the prevalence of infertility has increased over time.
This not only indicates why the best time to freeze your eggs is now (like, right now), it also provides some context as to how (and why) some people may eventually decide to pursue egg donation. It may provide their only option for conception, or perhaps their timeline doesn’t allow trial-and-error of other fertility treatments and they’d like to save themselves the heartache and financial strain of pursuing other options. These intended parents are always incredibly grateful for help from egg donors in growing their families, because it often comes at the end of a long, winding road that involves lots of disappointment and false starts. Growing their family via egg donation is often filled with lots of hope.
Cancer survivors
Sadly, when a woman undergoes medical treatment as part of a cancer-fighting protocol, this can impact her fertility and family-building options down the line. And unfortunately, only in recent years have fertility preservation options become part of the standard conversation that cancer patients in their fertile years have with their doctors. Even today, this is something many cancer patients with ovaries may need to proactively bring up to protect their options for the future.
As a result, many female cancer patients have undergone treatment that, while lifesaving, has caused various forms of infertility. This may be due to resulting hormonal changes, or damage to eggs, ovaries, or uterus. In cases where these hopeful moms cannot use their own eggs to conceive, they need the help of an egg donor to create embryos that they themselves or a gestational carrier may carry.
Single dads by choice
At Cofertility, we support all types of families — and we pride ourselves on the fact that more than 10% of our intended parents are single men, regardless of sexuality. These intended parents have decided to pursue fatherhood on their own, but will need the help of an egg donor as well as gestational carrier in order to make that happen. To us, any person pursuing the option of taking on sole responsibility for a child is someone who really wants (and deserves) to be a parent. And they’re forever grateful to everyone who can help make that dream come true.
How to get started
If you’d like to move forward with participating in Cofertility’s Split program, where you can freeze your eggs for free when you donate half of the eggs retrieved to another family who can’t conceive, fill out this quick quiz to learn more about your options and see if you qualify. It only takes one minute!
I'm Interested in Donating My Eggs: Will I Be Anonymous?
Anonymity is often a primary question for potential donors as they may believe that anonymity to be a way to protect themselves from the emotional complexity that is egg donation. They may believe that by remaining anonymous they can avoid forming any type of relationship with the child or recipients thereby also potentially avoiding feelings of guilt, responsibility, or attachment. Or they may not want it to interfere with future relationships or their own family dynamics. While anonymity is no longer realistic, disclosed and undisclosed egg donation offers benefits and the chance for meaningful future connections.
Egg donation is a medical procedure where a woman donates her eggs to individuals or couples who are unable to have children using their own eggs. The egg donor undergoes a series of medical and psychological screenings and hormonal treatments to stimulate egg production. Once the eggs are mature, they are retrieved through a short surgical procedure done on an out-patient basis. The eggs are then fertilized with sperm (either from the intended father or sperm donor) and the resulting embryos are either transferred to the recipient's uterus (intended mother or gestational carrier) or frozen for later use.
Many times donors have seen first hand their own friends or family struggling with infertility. Witnessing this creates a desire to help and motivates them to donate their eggs. This act of giving can be deeply fulfilling on a personal level knowing that they are creating family trees or relationships (parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles, etc.) that might otherwise have never existed.
Anonymity is often a primary question for potential donors as they may believe that anonymity to be a way to protect themselves from the emotional complexity that is egg donation. They may believe that by remaining anonymous they can avoid forming any type of relationship with the child or recipients thereby also potentially avoiding feelings of guilt, responsibility, or attachment. Or they may not want it to interfere with future relationships or their own family dynamics. While anonymity is no longer realistic, disclosed and undisclosed egg donation offers benefits and the chance for meaningful future connections.
Donor anonymity
The traditional concept of anonymous donation prioritizes privacy and confidentiality for donors, the intended parents, and any resulting children. In traditional anonymous donation, there is no exchange of identifying information between the egg donor and the intended parents. If there is contact, it is very limited and is facilitated by the fertility clinic or agency.
But in recent years, DNA testing services, like 23andMe, have had a profound impact on egg donor anonymity. The ability to uncover genetic connections through these tests undermines the anonymity promised in traditional egg donation arrangements. Even if donors and recipients agreed to anonymity, individuals who were conceived using donor eggs may take one of these tests and uncover genetic connections to relatives, including their egg donor.
In the past, when anonymity was promised in egg donation arrangements, it was often based on the understanding that the identities of both the donor and the recipient would remain confidential and undisclosed to each other. However, as mentioned above, with the increasing popularity of direct-to-consumer genetic testing services, maintaining complete anonymity in egg donation is basically impossible. If an egg donation agency or egg bank promises anonymity, be very weary. They are not able to guarantee it due to DNA testing.
There is an increasing trend towards greater openness in egg donation arrangements in many countries, with increasing recognition of the importance of providing donors and offspring with the option for contact. For example, the United Kingdom has a regulated system for egg donation overseen by the Human Fertilisation and Embryology Authority (HFEA). Donors are required to provide non-identifying information that may be shared with offspring at the age of 18.
Disclosed and undisclosed donation
At Cofertility, we offer donors and the families they match with two general types of relationships.
In a disclosed relationship, the egg donor and recipient exchange contact information and can communicate directly. So, both the donor and the recipients are aware of each other's identities. The scope and degree of communication (both during and post-match) is what both parties make of it. This can range from occasional updates to ongoing relationships and involvement in each other's lives.
In an undisclosed relationship, identifying information is not exchanged and communication is facilitated through Cofertility. With an undisclosed donation, the donor and the family can choose to allow the donor-conceived child to receive the donor’s contact information when they turn a certain age (usually 18). This is called Open ID, an increasingly popular option.
Benefits of non-anonymous donation
Non-anonymous donation offers a more personalized approach. It provides donors and intended parents the opportunity to establish meaningful relationships and make informed choices based on mutual understanding and respect. This openness can offer opportunities for building positive relationships and can enable donors and intended parents to provide emotional support to one another throughout the donation process. This support network can be valuable in navigating the emotional complexities and challenges associated with egg donation.
Considerations for potential egg donors
The level of desired openness in egg donation is a personal choice and can vary significantly from individual to individual. Some individuals may prioritize transparency and openness in all aspects of their lives, including reproductive choices, while others may prefer privacy and discretion. Some may feel comfortable with potential future contact whereas others do not. Both are completely acceptable.
Summing it up
The concept of egg donor anonymity has evolved over time, with increasing recognition about the benefits of disclosure in egg donation. Initially, anonymity was commonly practiced to protect the privacy of all involved. However, as attitudes towards third party reproduction in general have shifted and advancements in technology have made maintaining anonymity difficult, there has been a growing trend towards disclosure and openness in egg donation. Every donor needs to prioritize their own comfort and values while understanding the positive possibilities of connection. It's essential for individuals considering egg donation to be aware of the potential risks and limitations regarding anonymity and to carefully consider the implications before proceeding with the donation process.
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