egg donors
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Can a Menopausal Woman Get Pregnant with Donor Eggs?
For many, the journey to parenthood is straightforward, but for others, it's a path marked by challenges and the need for medical intervention. Among these challenges, menopause has traditionally been seen as a definitive end to a woman's fertility. In this article, we answer the question, can a menopausal woman get pregnant with donor eggs?
In the world of reproductive medicine, the boundaries of what's possible are constantly being pushed further by advances in technology and science. For many, the journey to parenthood is straightforward, but for others, it's a path marked by challenges and the need for medical intervention. As a fertility doctor who has worked with countless patients over the years, I understand the desire to build a family, regardless of the obstacles that may stand in the way.
Among these challenges, menopause has traditionally been seen as a definitive end to a woman's fertility. In this article, I’ll answer the question, can a menopausal woman get pregnant with donor eggs?
Understanding menopause and fertility
Menopause is a natural biological process marking the end of a woman's reproductive years, characterized by the cessation of menstrual cycles for twelve consecutive months. This transition typically occurs between the ages of 45 and 55 but can happen earlier or later. Menopause signifies the depletion of ovarian follicles and a significant decline in estrogen and progesterone levels, hormones crucial for ovulation and pregnancy.
The question of fertility during or after menopause is complex. Naturally, menopause signifies the end of a woman's ability to conceive using her own eggs. However, this does not mean the end of her capacity to carry a pregnancy to term. The uterus, if healthy, can still support a pregnancy with the help of hormonal support, regardless of the woman's age or menopausal status.
Can you get pregnant with donor eggs after menopause?
Donor egg IVF is a common path for those who cannot conceive using their own eggs. This process involves using eggs donated by a younger woman (if you work with Cofertility to match with an egg donor, the donor donates half of the eggs retrieved and keeps the other half for her own future use), which are then fertilized with sperm (from a partner or a sperm donor) in a laboratory setting. The resulting embryos are transferred to the recipient's uterus.
For menopausal women, donor egg IVF offers a viable path to pregnancy. The critical factor is then the ability of the uterus to maintain a pregnancy. Before the procedure, the recipient undergoes hormonal treatment to prepare the uterus for implantation, mimicking the hormonal conditions of a natural pregnancy.
All pregnancies carry risks, and pregnancy over 45 is no exception. One small study followed 45 healthy mothers ages 50-63 who used donor eggs, and found that 35% experienced pregnancy-related hypertension (high blood pressure), 20% experienced gestational diabetes, and 78% had a cesarean section. It is important to undergo a consultation with your OBGYN or a high-risk specialist to ensure pregnancy is safe. For those who cannot safely or healthfully carry a pregnancy, surrogacy is also an option.
Read more in: What Matters More: The Age of My Egg Donor, or of Who is Carrying The Pregnancy?
It’s important to remember that your age when you (or your gestational carrier) get pregnant is not as important as the age of the eggs. That means your chances of success getting pregnant, no matter your age now, is better with younger eggs. But how do you get younger eggs? For some lucky women, they can use eggs they froze years ago. But for most of us, getting younger eggs means turning to egg donation.
Is there an age limit for IVF with donor eggs?
Technically, there is no age limit (legal or otherwise) in the United States for pursuing IVF with or without donor eggs. But ASRM discourages IVF for women older than 55, and some clinics set their own age limits for patients they will treat.
For women over 45 years old, ASRM advises:
- “Comprehensive” medical testing for cardiovascular and metabolic fitness to ensure the safety of the mother and baby during pregnancy
- Psychosocial evaluation to determine if support is in place to raise a child to adulthood
- Counseling patients on potential increased medical risks related to pregnancy
For families using donor eggs and a gestational carrier, ASRM would advise that the family undergo psychological evaluation to ensure the parents are equipped to raise the child at an older-than-average age.
Navigating the journey with Cofertility
At Cofertility, we've embraced a unique egg sharing model that empowers donors and helps families find the perfect egg donor match quickly and easily. We understand the multitude of questions and concerns that come with considering donor egg IVF, from the screening process for donors to the potential outcomes of the IVF cycle.
Our approach is rooted in compassion and understanding, acknowledging the emotional and financial investment involved in fertility treatments. That’s why we've designed the most parent-friendly Embryo Guarantee in the market, aiming to alleviate some of the financial stress and uncertainty that can accompany this journey. Our goal is to provide you with the care and support we would want for our own families, guiding you through every step of the process.
Addressing concerns and providing support
We know that considering donor eggs, especially during or after menopause, is a significant decision. Concerns about the donor's health and the success rate of the procedure are common. Our rigorous screening process ensures that all donors meet stringent health criteria. Additionally, advancements in reproductive technology have significantly improved the success rates of donor egg IVF, offering encouraging news for those who choose this path.
The decision to pursue pregnancy through donor eggs is deeply personal and involves careful consideration of many factors, including physical, emotional, and financial aspects. At Cofertility, we are here to provide information, support, and guidance, helping you navigate these considerations and make informed decisions about your fertility journey.
Summing it up
The question of whether a menopausal woman can get pregnant with donor eggs is met with a hopeful yes, thanks to the remarkable advancements in reproductive medicine. At Cofertility, we stand at the forefront of these innovations, committed to serving all families with a vision of inclusivity and support. Our unique egg sharing model and comprehensive care approach aim to set a new standard for excellence in the field, offering a beacon of hope for those dreaming of building their family. As we continue to push the boundaries of what's possible in fertility treatment, we promise to provide the support, care, and innovation needed to turn those dreams into reality.
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Seeking an Egg Donor? Here's How to Keep Stress at Bay
Making the decision to work with an egg donor to start your family is a major life decision that can cause a lot of stress. Here's a psychologist's perspective on how to keep stress at bay.
As someone who has been working as a Psychologist in the field of fertility for many years, egg donation is a common topic of conversation that I have with my clients. Many who come to see me are working with egg donors and they express the high level of stress they feel and want to learn how to manage all the emotional challenges involved in seeking and working with an egg donor.
Understanding the stress factors in egg donation
Making the decision to work with an egg donor to start your family is a major life decision. A major life decision that can cause a lot of stress. Stress due to uncertainty, financial costs, failure…. the list goes on.
Stress is your body’s response to something you perceive to be difficult. Your body responds to this by going into fight or flight. Meaning your body is ready to do what it needs to feel safe again. Everyone experiences stress differently. It may cause you to experience physical, emotional, or mental distress or pressure. But one thing is common, the feeling of overwhelm. It can just feel like too much. Some start to feel emotionally detached and even start to feel numb to the whole process. On the other end of the spectrum, some may become overly hyper-vigilant. Obsessively checking their emails from their clinic or wanting every single piece of information to ensure an informed decision. Stress can also show up as irritability, heart palpitations or shortness of breath, and even panic attacks.
All of this is normal. Your body and mind are doing what they think is right to protect you from harm. But there are ways you can cope with stress.
Setting realistic expectations
When potential intended parents tell me they are stressed out about working with an egg donor, inevitably we discover that they have very unrealistic expectations about timelines and outcomes. The thing is, even the best laid plans can go awry and this is especially true with third-party reproduction. Think about it, there are a minimum of 10 people involved with one egg donation cycle. The chance of all 10 being synced up at the same time doesn't always happen. Being realistic means being flexible and adaptable. Knowing that this journey is not a linear progression. There will be delays, cancellations, and obstacles. These things are given. Those rigid expectations need to be loosened up.
Emotional preparedness and support
Having a solid support network can help build resilience and help manage stress. One of the best ways to be prepared is to prepare your network of friends and family. Many keep this journey to themselves for a myriad of reasons and that is fair. At the same time knowing that you can lean on someone can alleviate some stress. Communicate what it is that you need from them and allow them to help.
Support groups that focus on egg donation can be a shining star, especially in times of darkness. You can find people that are going through similar things and can understand how you are feeling. These are great places to learn coping skills that have worked for others in your same situation.
Staying informed and making informed decisions
You cannot underestimate the power of information. Yet, this is also one area that also causes extreme stress. Yes, please understand the egg donation process thoroughly. But you do not need to understand it at the same level as your REI or embryologist. Take that burden off your shoulders and put trust into your team. Understand the basics, ask questions, read reputable journals if you wish, but once you have chosen your team, trust them and let them do their job.
Stress-reduction techniques
- Mediation and mindfulness. These are definitely two buzzwords we hear all the time in popular literature. But honestly, they aren’t for everyone and contrary to popular belief they don’t necessarily reduce stress. In fact, some research shows that they can increase stress. This is because you are so focused on your thoughts or physical sensations that your stress increases. If you find these tools to be beneficial then by all means go for it.
- Organize your time. If you know you only have 15 minutes to get to your appointment before you need to get back to work, then don’t schedule your appointment for that time. Don’t schedule appointments back-to-back either. Give yourself some breathing room. Many times parents are sitting in my therapy room, staring at the clock because they need to be at their doctor's appointment so they can’t focus on anything, only increasing their stress.
- Make a list. Write down all the things that you need to do. Organize them in order of importance.
- Set easy to reach goals. Setting smaller, more achievable goals can help us feel more satisfied and in control. For example instead of: go to the gym 5 days a week for 1 hour. Write: go to the gym on Monday at 3pm and ride the stationary bike for 20 minutes.
- Be honest. Things that seemed easy and no big deal before you started this journey can feel a lot more difficult. That is because they are more difficult. You have a lot on your mind and a lot going on. So, If you can’t go to that birthday dinner after your blood tests, then don’t go. If you take on too much during this time, you will feel even more stressed.
Summing it up
While you are seeking an egg donor just expect that you will feel stressed, overwhelmed, and tired. Now is the time for self-compassion, patience and self-care. Lean on your people, take a break and be kind to yourself.
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Your Donor Egg IVF Care Team
Here, we delineate the various members of your fertility care team and the services they offer, providing clarity on who you will be collaborating with during your journey with an egg donor.
When embarking on the journey of building a family with the help of an egg donor, there are a lot of people trained and ready to help you. Understanding who these individuals are, their functions, and the right time to engage them can be pivotal in your path to parenthood.
Here, we delineate the various members of your fertility care team and the services they offer, providing clarity on who you will be collaborating with during your journey with an egg donor.
Obstetrician-Gynecologist (OBGYN)
An OBGYN, specializing in women's reproductive health, provides essential insights into fertility and hormonal health. While not directly involved in the egg donation process, their advice is a critical step towards more specialized treatment.
Reproductive Endocrinologist (REI)
An REI, an OBGYN with additional training in reproductive endocrinology, is pivotal in your journey. They specialize in the hormonal and medical aspects of fertility, overseeing the egg donation process, including the screening and preparation of the donor eggs.
Nurse Coordinator
Acting as a central figure in patient care, the Nurse Coordinator ensures smooth coordination of patient education, scheduling, and medication management, vital for synchronizing the efforts of the entire fertility team.
Embryologist
The Embryologist, based at the fertility clinic, plays a crucial role. They are responsible for the fertilization and cultivation of embryos, using the donated eggs, and ensuring their optimal development.
Egg Donation Agency
For additional guidance and support, agencies like Cofertility streamline your journey. We assist in finding the right clinic, connecting with egg donors, and filling in gaps beyond what a standard fertility clinic offers.
Surrogacy Agency
A Surrogacy Agency is helpful for intended parents who need a gestational carrier in their journey. Agencies can help handle various aspects, including legal agreements, surrogate screening, and coordination of the pregnancy journey, ensuring a smooth and supportive surrogacy process.
Read: Which Should I Find First: An Egg Donor or a Surrogate?
Financial Counselor
Understanding and navigating the financial aspects of egg donation is a significant concern. Financial Counselors, who are generally employed by a fertility clinic, specialize in clarifying this area, helping you explore insurance and financing options.
Fertility Courier
The Fertility Courier, though often unseen, is entrusted with the critical task of safely transporting frozen embryos from the egg donor’s clinic to yours, playing a vital role in the logistical aspect of your journey.
Cryostorage Facility
A cryostorage facility serves as the vault for your frozen tissue. Specializing in the preservation of biological material, these facilities are where your eggs and embryos reside when not in use. We have a partnership with TMRW where we have negotiated discounted rates for our members.
Genetic Counselor
Being a carrier doesn't mean you have the condition, but it can still be concerning when your genetic testing reveals you have a genetic predispositions to certain conditions. Your genetic counselor helps you understand the implications of your carrier status. They can explain the risks, potential impacts on future children, and provide guidance on family planning.
Third-Party Reproductive (TPR) Care Coordinator
A clinic employee who works in the field of assisted reproductive technology (ART) and reproductive medicine. Their primary role is to facilitate and coordinate various aspects of third-party reproduction, which involves using donated eggs, sperm, or embryos, as well as gestational surrogacy.
If you work with Cofertility, there are even more people you will work with along the way.
Our Family by Co platform honors families and egg donors with a thoughtful, human-centered matching experience. Our unique model empowers women to take control of their own reproductive health while giving families the gift of a lifetime.
Member Advocate
At Cofertility, the Member Advocate serves as your personalized concierge, easing communication among all the parties above and ensuring a smooth journey from start to finish. A Member Advocate plays a crucial role in supporting you through the complex and highly regulated process of egg freezing and donation, helping you navigate the medical, emotional, and logistical aspects of preserving your fertility with compassion, evidence-based research and trustworthy guidance.
Fertility Psychologist
Emotional support is invaluable. A Fertility Psychologist on the team offers therapeutic support, addressing the psychological and emotional dimensions of your journey.
Third-Party Reproduction Lawyer
Upon matching with a donor, a Fertility Lawyer ensures all agreements adhere to legal standards. We can help you find a lawyer with expertise in this space, or you can find your own.
Each individual's journey is unique, and not everyone will need the same team or services. It's crucial to ask questions and advocate for your needs, as your path should be as unique as you are. The most important member of your fertility team is you.
Cofertility has a preferred network of partners nationwide, ready to assist in every aspect of your egg donation journey, from legal contracts to embryo storage. While this list might seem daunting, working with us ensures that most interactions are efficiently managed on your behalf.
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How Does Cofertility Screen Egg Donors?
If you decide to work with Cofertility to match with an egg donor, you’ll know the donor went through a rigorous process. Our team screens thousands of donors each year through a multi-step process to ensure each person is qualified and prepared to become an egg donor, going above and beyond FDA and ASRM-recommended screening guidelines. In this article, we share a little more about this process.
Thanks to scientific advances in the fertility industry, egg donation has increased tremendously over the past several decades. The option of working with an egg donor provides hope for those who otherwise would not be able to build a family.
If you decide to work with Cofertility to match with an egg donor, you’ll know the donor went through a rigorous process. Our team screens thousands of donors each year through a multi-step process to ensure each person is qualified and prepared to become an egg donor, going above and beyond FDA and ASRM-recommended screening guidelines.
In this article, I’ll share a little more about this process.
The importance of a thorough egg donor vetting process
To optimize safety and outcomes, donors go through a rigorous vetting process. This comprehensive donor screening occurs to ensure proper informed consent from the donor and to ensure there are no contraindications to donating. Because of potential long-term medical and psychological consequences to donating one’s DNA, the vetting process needs to be very thorough.
How are egg donors screened?
Application & medical screening
Donors apply to our program with an in-depth application that includes questions about their personal and family medical history, lifestyle, gynecological background, education and professional background, and other areas. This application can take over an hour to complete. Donors complete the family medical history with their own medical history in mind, as well as first and second degree relatives (parents, siblings, aunts, uncles and grandparents).
Our clinical operations team reviews each application closely to evaluate eligibility based on personal and family medical history. These eligibility guidelines come from the FDA and ASRM guidelines for egg donation, as well as from our team of medical advisors. Donors who are approved are healthy and do not have a history of heritable diseases. Many donors don’t get through this initial process, whether that be because their personal and/or family history makes them ineligible or because they do not have all of the information that is required.
Interview
Once the prospective egg donor has completed the initial application and has passed all the basic requirements, we meet with them personally. During this meeting, donors get a chance to ask questions and learn more about egg donation and the staff gets a chance to get to know the donor, understand her reasoning to donate and to make certain she fully understands short term and long term consequences related to their donation.
Meeting 1:1 with every donor to get at the core of who she is as a person— her values, her goals, her personality— allows us to provide you with the most thoughtful match possible.
AMH (ovarian reserve) test
An AMH test measures the amount of anti-mullerian hormone (AMH) in your blood. AMH is produced by the cells inside the follicles - tiny fluid-filled sacs in the ovary that contain and release eggs. AMH levels can tell us the number of eggs a woman has. This is also known as the ovarian reserve. It is important to have this number for egg donation because this test may tell us how well a woman might respond to injectable fertility drugs that will be used during the donation.
Physical medical exam
After a match and typically around day 3 of the donor’s menstrual cycle, a physical medical exam will be conducted. During this exam a pelvic ultrasound will assess the pelvic anatomy, including the ovaries. The antral follicle count will look at the number of egg-containing follicles developing in the ovaries. These results can tell even more information about the ovarian reserve.
Psychological screening
When cleared by the medical staff a psychological assessment will take place. This is a two to four-hour assessment that will address the moral, ethical, emotional, and social issues related to egg donation. The assessment also includes a standardized and empirically validated test designed to screen mental and behavioral disorders. This assessment looks to ascertain donor suitability for this elective process. To make certain that there are no psychological contraindications for egg donation and that the potential egg donor will be able to fulfill her responsibilities for the cycle, such as following medical protocols.
Genetic testing
Every donor also undergoes genetic testing. Genetic screening may include a genetic karyotype as well as screening for more common diseases, including Tay-Sachs disease, Canavan disease, sickle cell anemia, α-Thalassemia, β-Thalassemia, and cystic fibrosis. Depending on the donor’s ethnic background and family history, there may be more genetic screening.
Find an amazing egg donor at Cofertility
At Cofertility, our program is unique. After meeting with hundreds of intended parents, egg donors, and donor-conceived people, we decided on an egg donation model that we think best serves everyone involved: egg sharing.
Here’s how it works: our unique model empowers women to take control of their own reproductive health while giving you the gift of a lifetime. Our donors aren’t doing it for cash – they keep half the eggs retrieved for their own future use, and donate half to your family.
We aim to be the best egg-sharing program, providing an experience that honors, respects, and uplifts everyone involved. Here’s what sets us apart:
- Human-centered: We didn’t like the status quo in egg donation. So we’re doing things differently, starting with our human-centered matching platform.
- Donor empowerment: Our model empowers donors to preserve their own fertility, while lifting you up on your own journey. It’s a win-win.
- Diversity: We’re proud of the fact that the donors on our platform are as diverse as the intended parents seeking to match with them. We work with intended parents to understand their own cultural values — including regional nuances — in hopes of finding them the perfect match.
- Embryo Guarantee: We’re committed to helping your family grow, and proud to offer a generous Embryo Guarantee to every intended parent we work with.
- Lifetime support: Historically, other egg donation options have treated egg donor matching as a one-and-done experience. Beyond matching, beyond a pregnancy, beyond a birth…we believe in supporting the donor-conceived family for life. Our resources and education provide intended parents with the guidance they need to raise happy, healthy kids and celebrate their origin stories.
We are obsessed with improving the family-building journey — today or in the future — and are in an endless pursuit to make these experiences more positive. Create a free account to get started today!
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I’m a Fertility Psychologist— Here are Questions to Ask When Meeting Your Potential Egg Donor
You already know how difficult it can be to select the right egg donor match for your family. That is why once you have found a potential match, meeting her (either in person, over video, or on a call), can be a great way to finalize and feel confident about your decision. Below are some questions you can ask during your meeting to get to know your egg donor.
You already know how difficult it can be to select the right egg donor match for your family. That is why once you have found a potential match, meeting her (either in person, over video, or on a call), can be a great way to finalize and feel confident about your decision.
Since starting work in this field as a Fertility Psychologist in 2011, I have facilitated many egg donor match meetings. Sometimes the first few minutes are a little awkward and uncomfortable. That is completely normal. That is why having a facilitator can be great as they can help guide the conversation and keep it moving.
Below are some questions you can ask during your meeting to get to know your egg donor. When preparing for your meeting, it can be a good idea to write down your questions and also write down hers. These can be placed in your child’s book (if you are making one).
Also, remember, she will likely ask you questions as well. So think about what you want the egg donor to know about you and your family.
10 questions to ask when meeting your potential egg donor
- When did you first learn about egg donation and why did you decide to donate?
Why are you donating to us? Understanding her reasons for wanting to donate can give you an inside look at her thought process, and understanding why she wants to donate to your family, can create a stronger bond and understanding between you. - Who will be your primary support person during the medical procedure? Make sure she has a support system during the process, and ask how you can help.
- Have you told your family? Not everyone wants to tell their family and friends, and that’s okay.
- If she has donated before, it is okay to ask her questions related to previous donations such as: What went well? What do you wish could have been different?
- What are your thoughts about the type of relationship you want to have with our family? Depending on your egg donation agreement, the relationship you have with the egg donor can be anywhere on the spectrum, from no involvement at all to attending birthday parties. There really is no right or wrong. It all just depends on what works best for you, your donor and your respective families. It is also important to keep in mind that like all relationships, this one too will evolve. Some end up drifting apart and others become closer over time. Again, there is no right or wrong here.
- Although questions about medical / family medical history are already in their profile, you can still use the time to ask them to clarify anything.
- Questions about education and career: what are you studying? What about that interests you? What are your career goals?
- What do you love to do when not working or going to school?
- Tell me about your typical day, how does it look?
- What are your expectations of us during this process? How can we help make this process as smooth as possible?
When asking questions, be respectful and kind, and if you feel she is getting uncomfortable, move on to the next question.
The emotional and relational dynamics of meeting your egg donor
It is normal to feel all sorts of emotions when meeting with a potential egg donor— from gratitude to being completely nervous. So be prepared to feel. Just remind yourself why you are doing this. Typically at the end of a meeting, most parents and egg donors are even more ready and excited to move forward.
Meeting your egg donor in-person or virtually is a great way to finalize your decision to use egg donation to grow your family. Bringing that profile to life helps to create a more personal connection with your donor.
Find an amazing egg donor at Cofertility
At Cofertility, our program is unique. After meeting with hundreds of intended parents, egg donors, and donor-conceived people, we decided on an egg donation model that we think best serves everyone involved: egg sharing.
Here’s how it works: our unique model empowers women to take control of their own reproductive health while giving you the gift of a lifetime. Our donors aren’t doing it for cash – they keep half the eggs retrieved for their own future use, and donate half to your family.
We aim to be the best egg-sharing program, providing an experience that honors, respects, and uplifts everyone involved. Here’s what sets us apart:
- Human-centered: We didn’t like the status quo in egg donation. So we’re doing things differently, starting with our human-centered matching platform.
- Donor empowerment: Our model empowers donors to preserve their own fertility, while lifting you up on your own journey. It’s a win-win.
- Diversity: We’re proud of the fact that the donors on our platform are as diverse as the intended parents seeking to match with them. We work with intended parents to understand their own cultural values — including regional nuances — in hopes of finding them the perfect match.
- Embryo Guarantee: We’re committed to helping your family grow, and proud to offer a generous Embryo Guarantee to every intended parent we work with.
- Lifetime support: Historically, other egg donation options have treated egg donor matching as a one-and-done experience. Beyond matching, beyond a pregnancy, beyond a birth…we believe in supporting the donor-conceived family for life. Our resources and education provide intended parents with the guidance they need to raise happy, healthy kids and celebrate their origin stories.
We are obsessed with improving the family-building journey — today or in the future — and are in an endless pursuit to make these experiences more positive. Create a free account to get started today!
Read more:

Preparing for Parenthood as a Gay Couple Using Donor Eggs: Tips from a Fertility Psychologist
If you are a single cis male or in a same-sex male relationship, you will need a gestational carrier to carry and deliver your baby along with donor eggs to create embryos. A fertility psychologist can work with you to discuss the implications of becoming parents, how to talk to your child about their conception and to others around you about your journey. They can also walk you through your feelings, fears, and educate you about the process of becoming parents through third party reproduction.
If you are a single cis male or in a same-sex male relationship, you will need a gestational carrier to carry and deliver your baby along with donor eggs to create embryos. A fertility psychologist can work with you to discuss the implications of becoming parents, how to talk to your child about their conception and to others around you about your journey. They can also walk you through your feelings, fears, and educate you about the process of becoming parents through third party reproduction.
The decision-making process
The decision-making process of using donor eggs as a gay couple is a little different than heterosexual couples needing to use donor eggs. One is deciding who will provide the sperm. If both are planning on being biologically related, then you need to decide whose sperm will be used first. You both have to agree upon a donor, a carrier and who will be called what (e.g. I will be dad and you will be papa)
Read more in Gay Men Having Babies: Four Genetic Options with Donor Eggs
Emotional and psychological considerations
The emotional and psychological considerations involved in using donor eggs as a gay couple include who will provide the sperm or should you have twins? What if it works for one partner but not the other? What if the cycle does not work the first time? How many times will you try? How and when to tell your child about their conception story? Then there is the worry about the donor, such as how much, if any, contact you will have with her now and in the future. What if the donor or your child wants a deeper relationship, does the donor have any rights over your baby?
This process can be stressful and it can create pressure on your relationship as well. Especially because it can be costly and it can be time consuming. And sometimes a gestational carrier backs out or a donor you want is not available. It is vital for you to always communicate, openly, honestly and thoroughly.
The impact on the child not having a mother
At some point, your child will start asking questions about not having a mother and about how they were conceived. This is natural especially once the child starts school and sees that some children have mothers. You and your partner should discuss how and when you will tell your child about their donor. You may also want to speak with family and friends about what terminology you would like them to use as well (for example, how will the donor be referred?)
Two dads, no mom, and the kids are all right
A report, published by the American Academy of Pediatrics states that three decades of research concur that kids of gay parents are doing just fine. “Many studies have demonstrated that children’s well-being is affected much more by their relationships with their parents, their parents’ sense of competence and security, and the presence of social and economic support for the family than by the gender or the sexual orientation of their parents,”
Legal considerations
All intended parents should have an egg donor contract. The contract should state that the egg donor is waiving her parental rights and that all children born from her donated eggs will be the intended parents’ children. The egg donor contract can also spell out payments, and terms of any potential future relationship between the donor and your child. For example, having an option for allowing future contact with the donor once the child reaches a certain age. If you work with Cofertility to match with an egg donor, we will help you with this part.
You should also understand the laws where you live regarding same sex parents, egg donation and surrogacy. For example, some countries will recognize both of you as legal parents of the child, while other countries might not. Some states in the U.S. do not allow single men or gay couples to become parents - meaning you may have to look outside of where you live.
Read more in Navigating the Legal Landscape: A Guide to Egg Donation & Surrogacy Laws for Gay Dads
Navigating the medical process
Typically gay men need more education and counseling about the female reproductive system than heterosexual couples undergoing donor egg IVF. So you will need to brush up on female anatomy and biology so you have a better understanding of the entire process. When selecting a fertility clinic, you want to make sure that it is LGBTQ+ friendly and understands the unique needs of gay fathers.
Next will be selecting your donor. Before you start searching for your donor, decide on some basic characteristics that you would like to have in your donor. This may include things like physical appearance, education level, athletic or musical ability. Perhaps someone of a certain culture or religion is of importance. Remember, you will never find anyone that meets your requirements 100%. So have your list and then divide it into your must have and nice to haves.
Once your donor has completed all the necessary screening and legal contracts, the egg donor will receive hormone medications to stimulate her ovaries to produce multiple eggs. A fertility doctor will retrieve the donor’s eggs once they are mature. These eggs, or oocytes, can then be fertilized using your sperm and transferred to your carrier or frozen (as embryos) for future use.
If you are wanting each partner to have a biologically related child, will want to either split the eggs that are retrieved so you both get half or you may want to do more than once cycle to ensure each partner has enough eggs to create enough viable embryos.
For same-sex male couples, to have a biological baby was once just a dream, now it is a reality. Medical science is giving people the chance to find their happiness by having a family of their own. It can be a long, stressful process but know that Cofertility will be by your side, giving you the support you need while navigating this new path to parenthood.
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Single vs. Double Embryo Transfer: A Comprehensive Guide
You may be wondering if you should transfer one (single embryo transfer, or SET) or two (double embryo transfer, or DET) embryos, to increase your chances of a happy, healthy baby. This article will dissect the complexities of this decision-making process, taking into consideration both personal choices, and also help answer this question to intended parents using donor eggs.
The embryo transfer is an exciting and pivotal time in the in vitro fertilization (IVF) process. It’s when the embryo is transferred to the uterus of the intended mother or a gestational carrier, in hopes that it snuggles in for nine months and becomes the child you’ve always dreamt of.
You may be wondering if you should transfer one (single embryo transfer, or SET) or two (double embryo transfer, or DET) embryos, to increase your chances of a happy, healthy baby.
This article will dissect the complexities of this decision-making process, taking into consideration both personal choices, and also help answer this question to intended parents using donor eggs.
First off, what is an embryo transfer?
Understanding what an embryo transfer entails is important to appreciating the decision-making process between single or double embryo transfer.
After an egg, or eggs, are fertilized with sperm, an embryo develops in a controlled laboratory environment for a few days under the careful watch of a trained embryologist. If and when the embryo reaches a particular developmental stage (ie. blastocyst stage), it is suitable for transfer.
Now, at this point, some families opt to do PGT testing, which looks to see if the embryo contains the correct amount of chromosomes. Embryos with the right number of chromosomes — 46 — are considered “euploid,” and those with extra chromosomes or chromosome deletions are considered “aneuploid.” PGT is a way to screen for genetic disorders in embryos created through IVF before they are transferred to the uterus. Read more about PGT testing.
All embryos are then “graded” by the embryologist to evaluate their quality and chances of developmental success into a healthy pregnancy. Based on this assessment, your fertility doctor will recommend the order and number of embryos to be transferred. This is the stage where the choice between a single embryo transfer or a double embryo transfer is usually made.
Finally, the selected embryo(s) is transferred to the uterus via a thin catheter, typically under ultrasound guidance. If the embryo implants in the uterine lining, it may lead to pregnancy.
Embryo transfers and the history of IVF
When IVF was in its infancy, following the birth of the first IVF baby, Louise Brown, in 1978, the process was distinctly different from what it is today. In the early days, IVF involved the transfer of fresh embryos, without the technological advancements available now. This is because we didn’t have the technology to freeze and preserve embryos for genetic testing or future transfer.
At the time, this approach was taken to increase the likelihood of pregnancy, compensating for the uncertainties around embryo viability. However, this practice led to a higher incidence of multiple pregnancies (pregnancies of twins, triplets, or more), with associated health risks for both mothers and children.
With the development of cryopreservation techniques, it became possible to freeze embryos for later use, allowing for more flexibility and planning in the transfer process. This technology also enabled better timing for embryo transfer, and gave patients a break between the egg retrieval and embryo transfer.
Simultaneously, genetic testing of embryos significantly increased the success rates of IVF, even with the transfer of a single embryo.
Guided by these advancements, the American Society for Reproductive Medicine (ASRM) now recommends elective single embryo transfer (eSET) in most cases, especially for women under the age of 35 with a favorable prognosis. This shift towards eSET reflects a growing emphasis on minimizing the risks associated with multiple pregnancies without compromising success rates.
So how many embryos should I transfer?
The decision regarding the number of embryos to transfer should weight the potential success rate against the risks associated with multiple pregnancies. Factors such as age, the quality of the embryos, previous IVF attempts, and individual patient preferences play an important role in this decision.
Let’s go through the pros and cons of each option:
Elective single embryo transfer (eSET)
Pros:
- Reduced risk of multiple births: eSET almost eliminates the chance of a multiple pregnancy (twins, triplets, etc.), thus reducing the associated health risks for both the mother and the babies.
Cons:
- Possibly lower success rates: Some studies have shown that eSET may yield a slightly lower live birth rate compared to double embryo transfer.
Double embryo transfer (DET)
Pros:
- Potentially higher success rates: By transferring two embryos, DET may improve the chances of pregnancy, especially when there are concerns about embryo quality.
- Chance to have twins: If you always wanted twins, transferring two embryos gives you a better chance of that dream.
Cons:
- Riskier pregnancy and birth: DET significantly increases the risk of twins or higher-order multiples, leading to more complicated pregnancies and a higher chance of preterm births and low birth weight.
It’s important to discuss this with your fertility doctor and get their input. Because ASRM usually recommends a single embryo be transferred, in most cases fertility doctors will recommend just that.
How many donor egg embryos should I transfer?
When donor eggs are utilized, a couple other factors need to be considered. Donor eggs are from younger women who have gone through extensive medical screening, and thus, embryo quality tends to be higher. Because of this, it increases the chances of success, even if the mother is older, or if she experienced failed IVF in the past. In donor egg cases, eSET is generally preferred to minimize the risk of multiple pregnancies while maintaining a satisfactory success rate.
Summing it up
If you are wondering if eSET or DET is right for you, talk to your fertility doctor. They can help talk you through the pros and cons, and help select an approach that best fits your needs.
For those using donor eggs, the generally higher quality might lean the decision towards eSET, while personal preferences and specific medical situations might suggest otherwise. By carefully considering the nuanced pros and cons, you can make a well-informed choice in your pursuit of parenthood. We wish you all the best!
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First-Time vs Repeat Egg Donors: Which One Should I Pick?
Exploring the differences between first time and repeat egg donors
Intended parents are often asking me if they should choose a first-time or proven egg donor. While it may initially seem like a major consideration, in reality, it often plays a relatively minor role in the overall process. In this article, I hope to clarify this question and guide you towards more consequential aspects in your decision-making process.
Understanding egg donation
Egg donation involves a woman donating her eggs to help another family conceive via in-vitro fertilization (IVF). These donated eggs are fertilized in a laboratory, and the resulting embryos are then transferred into the recipient's uterus or a gestational carrier. Most donors are first-time donors who have never donated before, but some are proven donors who have previously donated eggs which have resulted in successful pregnancies.
First-time vs. repeat egg donors
A first-time donor has no history of successful pregnancies, however this does not mean that she is not a wonderful donor. Even though it may provide some pause that the donor has not donated before, the number of eggs likely to be retrieved in a donation cycle can be predicted based on markers like anti-Mullerian hormone (AMH) levels and antral follicle count (AFC). These metrics provide solid indicators of ovarian reserve and, consequently, the potential success of an egg retrieval procedure.
On the other hand, proven donors have a track record of successful pregnancies through their donated eggs, which can offer some reassurance to intended parents going through egg donation. It’s another data point to give you confidence. However, a proven donor's history of successful pregnancies doesn't guarantee future success. Plus, a donor who has donated more than once means that your future child is more likely to have biological half-siblings.
What matters most: family fit
As shared above, reliable estimates for the quantity of eggs that are likely to be retrieved during a donation cycle can be made based on biomarkers such as AMH and AMC. These critical measures serve as robust predictors of ovarian reserve and, therefore, help project the likely outcome of the egg retrieval process. A donor who has been medically cleared by a fertility doctor – whether she has donated before or not – has a good chance of a successful retrieval. In fact, donor egg IVF has better outcomes than other forms of ART.
Once an egg donor has been medically cleared, we think the "fit" of the donor with your family is arguably more critical. This fit might involve physical attributes, ethnicity, education, or other aspects that matter to you in relation to your future child. Donor profiles and interviews can provide valuable insights into these aspects, guiding your choice towards a donor who aligns with your vision for your family.
A downside of a “proven” donor: the biological half-sibling factor
A less commonly discussed aspect of using a proven donor is that your child may have biological half-siblings resulting from previous successful donations. While this fact doesn't influence the potential success of your IVF process, it's an important ethical and emotional consideration for many potential parents. For some, this potential genetic connection to other families might be concerning or undesirable.
However, simply because a first time donor has not donated eggs before, it does not mean she will not potentially donate to other families in the future. This would also lead to biological half-siblings for your children. This is not something to be nervous or hesitant about though as it can be a beautiful thing. It has been seen that children born from the same donor sometimes seek each other out, and find family in the USA or around the world, and have stories to share between each other of being a donor conceived child. A very unique bond can be established between donor conceived children.
It's important to note that the possibility of having numerous genetic half-siblings doesn't inherently detract from the unique bond and relationship you will develop with your child. Yet, it's a factor to be aware of and something to consider based on your personal values and vision for your future family.
How many times can an egg donor donate?
There is a limit to how many times a woman can donate eggs, primarily based on ethical and safety guidelines. In the United States, for example, the American Society for Reproductive Medicine (ASRM) recommends that donors should not donate eggs more than six times during their lifetime. This guideline aims to minimize potential health risks for the donor and limit the number of offspring born from any one donor's eggs (although to be clear, even if a donor donates six times through an egg bank, those eggs could be distributed to far more than six families). At Cofertility, we follow these guidelines and actually find that most of our donors don’t plan on donating to more than one or two families because they are not doing it for cash compensation.
Summing it up
Remember that while the choice of an egg donor is significant, it is just one aspect of the broader journey to parenthood. Other aspects, like ensuring the health of the mother or gestational carrier, preparing for the emotional and financial commitment of parenthood, and creating a nurturing environment for your child, are critical contributors to your child’s life.
While the decision between a first-time and proven egg donor can seem overwhelming, remember that this is just one factor among many in your fertility journey. Reliable fertility markers, such as AMH and AFC, offer significant predictors of egg retrieval success. Furthermore, the alignment of a donor with your vision of your future family is of paramount importance.
Each family's journey is unique, and there is no 'one size fits all' answer. Being patient with the process, staying informed, and leaning on the support of medical and mental health professionals can guide you towards the decisions that feel right for you and your family.
How Cofertility is different
We started this company with the vision of serving all families, regardless of what brought them here. We promise to provide you with the care we would want for our families. With our commitment to transparency, inclusivity, and innovation, we are striving to be the best in the industry.
Our unique egg sharing model empowers donors and enables families to find the perfect egg donor match quickly and easily, setting a new standard for excellence in our field. Whether you are just becoming educated on egg donation or are ready to move forward, we want to help you achieve your goals and build the family of your dreams.
Create a free account to get started today!
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Understanding the Language of Egg Donation Disclosure: Anonymous, Known, Disclosed, Open ID
At Cofertility, we pride ourselves on guiding our members through the journey of egg donation, ensuring a supportive, transparent, and ethical process for all parties involved. One aspect of this process involves helping our members understand the various terms used within the realm of egg donation, and pros and cons of each type of disclosure status.
At Cofertility, we pride ourselves on guiding our members through the journey of egg donation, ensuring a supportive, transparent, and ethical process for all parties involved. One aspect of this process involves helping our members understand the various terms used within the realm of egg donation, and pros and cons of each type of disclosure status.
Each relationship is unique and depends on both the desires of the donor and family, as well as what’s best for any future donor conceived children.
This guide is meant to aid you in making informed decisions that align with your personal beliefs, comfort level, and the best interest of any potential donor conceived children.
Let’s dive into the terms:
- Anonymous egg donor: an outdated term used to describe someone whose identity is not shared with the family. In today’s age of social media and genetic testing, we think “anonymous” is a misnomer.
- Non-anonymous egg donor: an outdated term used to describe when an egg donor and intended parents have each other’s contact information.
- Known egg donor: usually used to describe an egg donor who knows the intended parents, like a family member or friend.
- Unknown egg donor: an egg donor that does not know the intended parents, and vice versa.
- Disclosed donation: the intended parents and egg donor exchange contact information and communicate directly. This does not mean they have an ongoing relationship, just that they have the names of one another.
- Undisclosed donation: the intended parents and egg donor do not exchange contact information.
- Open ID: the intended parents and egg donor do not exchange contact information, but the egg donor agrees to have her identity disclosed to the child born from her donation once the child reaches a certain age, typically at 18 years.
- Identity-release: another term for open ID.
The problem with “anonymous” egg donation
Traditionally, egg donations were often declared "anonymous," meaning the identities of the egg donor and the intended parents were kept secret from each other. However, in today's world, where genetic testing is widely accessible, we believe no donation can be truly anonymous. We caution against believing anyone who tells you otherwise!
Read more about why we don’t believe in anonymous egg donation.
Known and unknown egg donation
A known donor is someone that you have some level of connection with - be it a friend, a family member, or an acquaintance. In the early days of donor egg IVF, working with a known donor wasn’t the norm because it was thought that having a relationship with the donor could create confusion between the parties. But now, with more education and research being done on this type of donation, more people are turning to family and friends to help with building a family.
Yet most egg donation cycles are with "unknown" egg donors, where there is no previous relationship. You can have an “unknown” egg donor that you get to know, or they can remain undisclosed.
Disclosed and undisclosed egg donation
Disclosed and undisclosed are the terms we prefer to use at Cofertility to describe the two types of disclosure agreements possible.
In a disclosed donation with Cofertility, you and the donor will exchange contact information and can communicate directly. We highly encourage this model as it promotes transparency and aligns with feedback from the donor-conceived community.
In an undisclosed donation, you do not exchange contact information and only communicate via Cofertility. Although we recommend disclosed donations, we respect the individual's choice for undisclosed donation after understanding the potential implications for the donor-conceived child.
Regardless of your donation disclosure status being disclosed or undisclosed, you may choose to meet the donor during the matching period without exchanging contact information.
The scope and degree of communication in a disclosed donation (both during and post-match) is what both parties make of it and can be outlined in your legal agreement. Communication can range from sharing an annual holiday card to direct, regular communication between the donor and your donor-conceived child.
Your disclosure status does not necessarily dictate the relationship with the donor. For instance, you may opt for a disclosed donation, where you share contact information, but decide against maintaining regular communication.
Open ID egg donation
For those who choose an undisclosed donation, open ID (sometimes called identity release) is an alternative. This model allows for the donor's identity to be disclosed to the child resulting from the donation once the child reaches a certain age, typically 18 years.
This arrangement respects the potential desire of the donor conceived child to know more about their genetic background and potentially connect with the donor. The open ID agreement is often structured based on the comfort and consent of all parties involved and takes into consideration the best interest of the donor conceived person.
Read more about Open ID
Exploring real-life scenarios: understanding the fluidity of relationships in egg donation
Every single relationship is different, and ultimately up to the intended parents and egg donor to decide. To illustrate how the various terms and models of egg donation work in practical scenarios, let’s explore three real-life examples:
Scenario 1: Unknown, undisclosed donor with Open ID agreement
In this scenario, a family chooses to work with an unknown, undisclosed donor they find through Cofertility. This means that the family and the donor do not exchange contact information, and all communication is handled through Cofertility. This ensures a certain level of privacy and confidentiality while still allowing the exchange of crucial information.
However, the family decides to opt for an Open ID agreement. This arrangement acknowledges the potential curiosity of the donor-conceived child about their genetic roots. Once the child reaches age 18, they will be granted the opportunity to learn about the donor’s identity and, if mutually agreed upon, potentially establish a connection.
Scenario 2: Known, disclosed donor
In the second scenario, a family chooses to work with a known, disclosed donor who happens to be a relative – in this case, a sister. This situation represents one of the highest levels of openness in egg donation, with full knowledge and likely frequent contact between the donor and the intended parents.
In such a model, there's often an ongoing relationship between the donor and the child. The child grows up knowing about their genetic heritage, understanding that their aunt was the generous person who made their existence possible.
Scenario 3: Unknown, disclosed donor
In our third example, a family works with an unknown, disclosed donor. Here, while the donor's identity is initially unknown, the family and the donor exchange contact information via Cofertility and choose to maintain a certain level of contact.
In this case, the family sends the donor a card every year, marking the child's birthday or a holiday, for instance. The donor is not a major part of the family’s day-to-day life, but there's a small bridge of connection that keeps her updated and maintains a cordial relationship. This scenario underlines the flexibility within the disclosed donation model, wherein the extent and nature of communication can be customized to each party's comfort level.
These examples illustrate that egg donation relationships can vary immensely and can be tailored to meet the unique needs, comfort levels, and preferences of all parties involved. At Cofertility, we are committed to facilitating such arrangements that respect and honor the donors, the intended parents, and the donor-conceived children
The power of choice: respecting cultural preferences & unique circumstances
While we advocate for disclosed or open ID donations, and the benefits of being open with children about their donor-conceived origins, we respect the cultural needs and unique circumstances of those who prefer undisclosed donations. At Cofertility, we strive to connect intended parents with research and experts, aiding in informed decision-making, and respecting cultural considerations.
Understanding these terms and the principles behind them can make your journey through egg donation smoother and more transparent. At Cofertility, we are here to guide you, ensuring a process that honors all parties involved, including the donor, the intended parents, and most importantly, the donor conceived children.
Find an amazing egg donor at Cofertility
At Cofertility, our program is unique. After meeting with hundreds of intended parents, egg donors, and donor-conceived people, we decided on an egg donation model that we think best serves everyone involved: egg sharing.
Here’s how it works: our unique model empowers women to take control of their own reproductive health while giving you the gift of a lifetime. Our donors aren’t doing it for cash – they keep half the eggs retrieved for their own future use, and donate half to your family.
We aim to be the best egg sharing program, providing an experience that honors, respects, and uplifts everyone involved. Here’s what sets us apart:
- Embryo Guarantee: We’re committed to helping your family grow, and proud to offer our Embryo Guarantee to every intended parent we work with.
- Donor empowerment: Our model empowers donors to preserve their own fertility, while lifting you up on your own journey. It’s a win-win.
- Diversity: We’re proud about the fact that the donors on our platform are as diverse as the intended parents seeking to match with them. We work with intended parents to understand their own cultural values — including regional nuances — in hopes of finding them the perfect match.
- Human-centered: We didn’t like the status quo in egg donation. So we’re doing things differently, starting with our human-centered matching platform.
- Lifetime support: Historically, other egg donation options have treated egg donor matching as a one-and-done experience. Beyond matching, beyond a pregnancy, beyond a birth…we believe in supporting the donor-conceived family for life. Our resources and education provide intended parents with the guidance they need to raise happy, healthy kids and celebrate their origin stories.
We are obsessed with improving the family-building journey — today or in the future — and are in an endless pursuit to make these experiences more positive. Create a free account to get started today!
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Does AMH Matter When Choosing an Egg Donor?
There are many factors to consider when making decisions about your family's future. One question that often arises in this context is: "Does AMH matter when choosing an egg donor?" This article aims to shed light on AMH, detailing the role of AMH in fertility and its relevance in the egg donor selection process.
Navigating the world of third party reproduction as intended parents can be overwhelming. There are many factors to consider when making decisions about your family's future. One question that often arises in this context is: "Does AMH matter when choosing an egg donor?" This article aims to shed light on AMH, detailing the role of AMH in fertility and its relevance in the egg donor selection process.
Understanding AMH
Anti-Mullerian Hormone, known as AMH, is an essential biomarker for assessing ovarian reserve, which is the quantity of eggs that are currently available in the ovaries for fertilization.
AMH levels naturally decline with age, but remain fairly stable throughout the menstrual cycle. AMH is used to give a snapshot of ovarian reserve at any point in time. Higher AMH levels are generally indicative of a larger ovarian reserve, while lower levels suggest a diminished ovarian reserve.
AMH and egg donation
When choosing an egg donor, intended parents often wonder how much they should pay attention to the donor's AMH levels. To answer succinctly: Yes, AMH does matter when choosing an egg donor, but it is only one piece of the larger puzzle.
A donor's AMH level provides valuable information about how she might respond to the fertility medications used during the egg retrieval process. Generally, donors with above-average AMH levels are likely to produce a larger number of eggs during a single retrieval cycle. This could potentially result in a greater number of embryos available for transfer and freezing.
Because AMH is a good predictor of ovarian response, a fertility doctor will use the egg donor’s AMH levels (amongst other biomarkers) to determine the drugs and dosages during the procedure.
AMH measurements vary across clinics, so it’s best to use the reference range provided by the lab. In general, you can interpret their AMH level this way:
- Above 1.0 ng/ml (nanograms per deciliter): Normal
- Below 1.0 ng/ml: Showing weakness in the ovarian reserve
- Below 0.5 ng/ml: Showing severe weakness in the ovarian reserve
A very high level of AMH could be a sign of polycystic ovary syndrome (PCOS), which may require specific fertility treatment and/or medications.
While AMH is a good measure of egg quantity, it does not directly reflect egg quality. Other factors, such as the donor's age, overall health, lifestyle, and genetic screening results, also play vital roles in determining egg quality and should be considered in the selection process.
The bigger picture: beyond AMH
While AMH levels serve as an important marker in the donor selection process, it's critical to note that a successful pregnancy depends on many more factors. Donors should have a minimum AMH of 2.0 ng/ml – beyond that, you should look at the egg donor’s qualifications holistically.
A donor's medical history, genetic screening results, antral follicle count, lifestyle, and physical health should all be considered alongside AMH levels. This comprehensive evaluation aids in the selection of a donor who is likely to provide high-quality eggs that can lead to a successful pregnancy.
Furthermore, the health of the intended mother (or gestational carrier) plays a very important role in the success of the embryo transfer and subsequent pregnancy. Her overall health, uterine environment, and the expertise of the fertility clinic are all crucial pieces in the journey towards a successful pregnancy.
Egg donors at Cofertility
At Cofertility, we take an integrated approach to egg donor selection. We understand that while AMH is a valuable marker of ovarian reserve (which is why all our donors have an AMH over 2 ng/ml), but it's not the only factor that matters. That's why we conduct a comprehensive evaluation of all potential donors, examining medical history, conducting thorough genetic screening, psychological screening, and assessing overall health and lifestyle. We also meet with each donor 1:1 to get to know them personally.
We aim to provide our intended parents with the most complete picture possible, ensuring that you have all the necessary information to make an informed and confident decision. Our team of fertility experts is here to guide you through this complex process and assist you every step of the way in your journey towards parenthood.
Summing it up
In the quest for the perfect egg donor, AMH plays an important role, but it should not be the sole deciding factor. A successful pregnancy depends on a multitude of factors, each playing their part in the intricate dance of assisted reproduction.
At Cofertility, we strive to provide the best possible support for intended parents and ensure that your journey towards parenthood is as smooth as possible.
About us
At Cofertility, our program is unique. After meeting with hundreds of intended parents, egg donors, and donor-conceived people, we decided on an egg donation model that we think best serves everyone involved: egg sharing.
Here’s how it works: our unique model empowers women to take control of their own reproductive health while giving you the gift of a lifetime. Our donors aren’t doing it for cash – they keep half the eggs retrieved for their own future use, and donate half to your family.
We aim to be the best egg sharing program, providing an experience that honors, respects, and uplifts everyone involved. Here’s what sets us apart:
- Donor empowerment. Our model empowers donors to preserve their own fertility, while lifting you up on your own journey. It’s a win-win.
- Diversity: We’re proud about the fact that the donors on our platform are as diverse as the intended parents seeking to match with them. We work with intended parents to understand their own cultural values — including regional nuances — in hopes of finding them the perfect match.
- Human-centered. We didn’t like the status quo in egg donation. So we’re doing things differently, starting with our human-centered matching platform.
- Lifetime support: Historically, other egg donation options have treated egg donor matching as a one-and-done experience. Beyond matching, beyond a pregnancy, beyond a birth…we believe in supporting the donor-conceived family for life. Our resources and education provide intended parents with the guidance they need to raise happy, healthy kids and celebrate their origin stories.
Additionally, every Cofertility intended parent is backed by our comprehensive Embryo Guarantee. For detailed pricing, visit our pricing page.
We are obsessed with improving the family-building journey — today or in the future — and are in an endless pursuit to make these experiences more positive. Create a free account to get started today!
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How to Talk to Your Doctor About Working with Cofertility
In general, Cofertility can work with any US-based fertility clinic that reports their results to SART (Society for Assisted Reproductive Technology) and works with a certified lab. Or, if you’re outside of the US, the donor can undergo her retrieval at one of our partner clinics, and have them shipped to your clinic worldwide.
Maybe you’ve already found your Cofertility egg donor. Or, you know you want to work with us and are in search of the perfect match. This is an exciting time in your family building journey, and you probably feel a broad mix of emotions. Whether you’re eager, relieved, or even a little bit nervous for what happens next(!), now it’s time to get through some logistics related to the fertility clinic.
In general, Cofertility can work with any US-based fertility clinic that reports their results to SART (Society for Assisted Reproductive Technology) and works with a certified lab. Or, if you’re outside of the US, the donor can undergo her retrieval at one of our partner clinics, and have them shipped to your clinic worldwide.
If you have not yet selected a clinic, we’re happy to suggest one from our network of preferred providers. If you’re already working with a clinic and want to stay with them, we support you continuing to work with your existing care team.
We recommend that intended parents focus first and foremost on finding your perfect match. Then we can work together to determine the path forward with your clinic. But, to ensure that you feel prepared for all that’s to come, we’ve compiled a list of a few core questions that are important to ask any clinic you’re considering. Let’s jump in.
“Are you open to overseeing a cycle with a Cofertility egg donor who meets all FDA and ASRM guidelines?”
As it turns out, a small number of clinics have exclusive relationships with specific agencies or egg banks and limit their patients to working with donors from those organizations. Most, however, are open to giving their patients more options and allowing them to work with any agency, provided the donors meet all necessary guidelines and criteria.
If you’re working with a Cofertility egg donor, the donor’s screening, medication, and retrieval protocols will all follow the clinic’s standard processes. From the clinic’s perspective, the only difference between working with a Cofertility donor or another fresh agency donor is that the yield of mature eggs will be split into two lots on the day of the retrieval. One half will be fertilized for your use and the other half will be vitrified for the donor’s future use.
If you’re working with a clinic that we haven’t done a cycle with before, we’ll set up time with their third party team to walk them through our program and answer any of their questions related to clinic operations, finances, and the like.
Depending on your family-building goals, you may opt to do two cycles with the donor. If this is something you’re thinking about or something that your physician recommends, rest assured that many of our donors are excited about the opportunity to do two cycles and we can work with any clinic to make this happen.
“Can you provide any clinic-specific criteria my egg donor needs to meet?”
Occasionally, fertility clinics will have their own additional criteria (above and beyond what the FDA or ASRM outlines) based on their preferences and/or your own unique circumstances. Some examples of this may include the donor’s:
- Family medical history
- Specific genetic testing results
- BMI
- AMH
- Mental health criteria
- Lifestyle habits
- Age
You can let your doctor know that all of our donors are pre-qualified by our clinical operations team with support from our medical advisors (who are REIs). Donors must be under 34, have a minimum AMH of 2.0, and meet all FDA and ASRM guidelines.
“Are you open to the egg donor completing any part of the process outside of your clinic?”
Cofertility’s Split program is nationwide, meaning that you may match with a donor who is not based in the same city as you. All of our donors have discussed this possibility with our team and most have confirmed that they are open to travel. If your perfect match is unable to travel, we can always find a way to work with a clinic local to her.
Occasionally, an egg donor may need or request to complete some of her appointments at a fertility clinic near her home. For context, travel can be harder for those donors whose work or school schedules do not support remote work or lots of time off (for instance, if she is a medical resident or a teacher).
Once we know where your match is located, we will work with her and the clinic to ensure we follow their standard processes. However, it can be helpful to understand whether — and for how long — your clinic requires donors to be in-person so you can plan and budget accordingly.
For the donor’s initial set of screening appointments, clinics travel policies can vary. Some fertility clinics would rather have the donor come in person for screening so they can ensure the testing and overall process meets clinic-specific standards or to streamline logistics. On the flipside, some clinics are open to the donor completing this screening locally and then reviewing screening reports from other clinics. In those cases, the clinic will likely want to verify that the clinic where she does her screening has quality outcomes and solid protocols in place.
When it comes time for the cycle, many clinics are open to having the egg donor complete her initial two to three ultrasound and bloodwork monitoring appointments at a clinic near her. It is more unusual for a clinic to require the donor to be on-site throughout the entire cycle. If she does do the initial appointments at home, she’ll likely need to travel for the last few days of the cycle so she can do her retrieval at your clinic.
If your clinic’s donor retrieval policies lean more rigid (i.e., they’re going to want the donor there for most of the cycle), we recommend considering the following options upfront:
- Work with an egg donor who will travel: Travel preferences are one of the main topics of discussion when we connect with each of the women on our egg donor matching platform. While this information is not on her profile, please reach out to our team at support@cofertility.com if you’re interested in a particular donor and we can let you know where she’s based and whether she’s open to travel.
- Work with a donor who is semi-local: Our egg donors span the entire country, with more and more women added to our platform every week. Working with an egg donor who lives within driving distance of your clinic (e.g. she’s in NYC and you’re in Philadelphia) may mean fewer logistical challenges with your clinic.
- Work with a clinic near the donor: If your perfect donor match happens to be someone who cannot travel, one way to circumvent this challenge is to actually work with a clinic that’s local to her. We are happy to make a recommendation and ensure that you feel comfortable with your physician and whole care team. In this case, your donor will do all of her screening and monitoring at that clinic. For the retrieval, you can either ship frozen sperm or travel to the clinic to provide a fresh sperm cycle. Then, you can choose to either do the transfer at that clinic or ship those frozen embryos back to your clinic for transfer. Before going this route, we recommend confirming that your clinic will accept embryos made at another clinic/lab (many will provide the clinic with documentation about their lab protocols). Another benefit of this approach is that you don’t have to cover the costs associated with her travel.
Summing it up
When considering working with Family by Co, it is crucial to be armed with the right questions to ensure that you have a comprehensive understanding of the process and make informed decisions about your family building journey. By asking the right questions, you can gain valuable insights into your clinic’s policies, procedures, and success rates, allowing you to make an informed choice about partnering with a fertility clinic that collaborates with our egg donor program. If you’d like to talk to a member of our team about how our program, click here to book a 1:1 call
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Five Essential Conversations for Couples Considering Donor Eggs on Their Path to Parenthood
Embarking on the journey of parenthood is a significant decision for any couple. For those exploring the option of donor eggs to fulfill their dreams of starting or growing a family, a range of emotions, hopes, and uncertainties also come into play. Before taking this path, it is important for couples to engage in open and honest conversations that address important aspects of the process.
Embarking on the journey of parenthood is a significant decision for any couple. For those exploring the option of donor eggs to fulfill their dreams of starting or growing a family, a range of emotions, hopes, and uncertainties also come into play. Before taking this path, it is important for couples to engage in open and honest conversations that address important aspects of the process.
In this article, we’ll share five essential topics that couples should discuss when considering donor eggs, enabling you to navigate the decision-making process with greater understanding and unity.
Emotions and expectations
The decision to use donor eggs can evoke a myriad of emotions, including excitement, relief, and even grief. Couples must recognize and explore these feelings together, ensuring that both partners have a safe space to express their thoughts and concerns.
Discussing expectations about the conception experience, genetic connections, and the child's future can help align perspectives and foster a supportive foundation as you move forward.
Values and beliefs
Exploring the values and beliefs that underpin your desire to become parents through donor eggs is crucial. Considerations may include cultural and religious aspects, attitudes towards genetic connections, and how you envision sharing your family's unique story with your child. By engaging in these conversations, you can better understand one another's viewpoints, allowing each other to approach the process with a shared sense of purpose and integrity.
Choosing a donor
Selecting an egg donor is an important decision. Discuss the desired traits and characteristics you would like the donor to possess, such as physical attributes, educational background, or personal interests. Reflect on the importance of disclosed and undisclosed donation, and what level of current or future contact you are comfortable with. By having open and respectful conversations, you can navigate this selection process together, ensuring that both partners feel heard and valued.
Read more in What Does An Egg Donor Profile Look Like?
Financial considerations
Pursuing donor eggs involves financial commitments, including the cost of the procedure, medications, and potential additional expenses. Candidly discussing your financial situation, exploring available resources, and creating a comprehensive budget will help you make informed decisions about the financial aspects of this journey. Consider the long-term financial implications, such as future educational expenses or any potential needs that may arise as your family grows. By addressing these topics proactively, you can minimize stress and make choices that align with your financial goals.
Emotional support and building a support network
The process of using donor eggs can be emotionally demanding for some. You’ll want to establish a robust support network to lean on during this transformative experience. Discuss your needs for emotional support, whether through friends, family, support groups, or professional counseling. Consider how you can lean on each other and provide comfort during moments of doubt or emotional vulnerability. Nurturing a strong support system will help you navigate the challenges together and ensure a healthy and stable foundation for your growing family.
We’re here for you
As you embark on the path to parenthood using donor eggs, open and honest communication should become the cornerstone of your journey. Engaging in these essential conversations about emotions, expectations, values, donor selection, financial considerations, and emotional support allows you to navigate the decision-making process with greater understanding and unity. By fostering a shared sense of purpose and addressing potential challenges proactively, couples can embark on this transformative experience together, embracing the joy of building a family through the gift of donor eggs.
We started Cofertility with the vision of serving all families, regardless of what brought them here. And we promise to provide you with the care we would want for our families. With our commitment to transparency, inclusivity, and innovation, we are striving to be the best in the industry.
Our unique egg sharing model empowers donors and enables families to find the perfect egg donor match quickly and easily, setting a new standard for excellence in our field. Whether you are just getting educated on egg donation or ready to move forward, we want to help you achieve your goals and build the family of your dreams.
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How Do I Know If I Need Donor Eggs?
Whether you are someone who is struggling with infertility or other reproductive issues, or you’re a single male or gay male couple who hopes to have biological children, you may be considering donor eggs as an option for your family-building goals. While this can be a challenging time, it's important to know that there are options available to help you achieve your dreams of starting a family.
Whether you are someone who is struggling with infertility or other reproductive issues, or you’re a single male or gay male couple who hopes to have biological children, you may be considering donor eggs as an option for your family-building goals. While this can be a challenging time, it's important to know that there are options available to help you achieve your dreams of starting a family.
But first, you may be asking yourself “how do I know if I need donor eggs?” While there are a number of reasons one may turn to egg donation for their family-building, in this article we will discuss some of the most common scenarios.
I’m struggling with infertility
Infertility affects about 1 in 8 couples worldwide, and sometimes it can be due to the quality of the eggs. As we age, our eggs decrease in quantity and quality, making it more challenging to conceive. If you have been trying to conceive for a year or more without success, and your doctor has confirmed that there may be an egg quality or quantity issue, then donor eggs may be an option for you.
I’m a single or gay dad
While heterosexual couples or women often find out later in life that they need to pursue egg donation, gay or single men are typically in a different situation, in that they have always known they would need donor eggs in order to have a biological child.
While not all people will find this to be a priority to them, working with an egg donor and a surrogate allows gay and single men the opportunity to have a genetic link to their child, which is one reason you may consider egg donation over adoption to grow your family.
I'm over 40
If you are over 40 and struggling with infertility, using donor eggs may provide you with a better chance of success. Donor eggs are generally from qualified egg donors who are between the ages of 23-34, which can increase the chances of successful fertilization, pregnancy, and delivery. If you are over 40 and have been trying to conceive without success, you may consider using donor eggs to achieve your dream of parenthood.
I’ve been diagnosed with Premature ovarian failure (POF)
Premature ovarian failure (POF) is a condition in which the ovaries stop functioning before the age of 40. Those with POF have reduced or no ovarian function, making it difficult or impossible to conceive with your own eggs. If you have POF, you may be a candidate for using donor eggs, as your own eggs may not be viable for conception. Donor eggs can provide you with a higher chance of a successful pregnancy and delivery.
I had chemotherapy and/or radiation
Cancer treatments such as chemotherapy and radiation can damage the ovaries and reduce or eliminate the chances of conceiving with your own eggs. If you have had cancer treatment and your fertility has been affected, you may consider using donor eggs to achieve pregnancy. Donor eggs provide a higher chance of success compared to using your own eggs after cancer treatment.
I've had repeated IVF failure with my own eggs
Those who have experienced repeated IVF failure with their own eggs, even if they are still relatively young, may be a candidate for donor egg IVF. This can be due to poor egg quality or other factors. If you've tried multiple rounds of IVF without success, using donor eggs can dramatically increase your chances of bringing your baby home.
I have low ovarian reserve
Depending on your age, those with a low ovarian reserve may not produce enough viable eggs to achieve a successful pregnancy. If you’re in this boat, donor eggs can help make up for your diminishing egg quantity.
I have a genetic disorder
If you or your partner carries a genetic disorder that could be passed on to your child, using donor eggs may be an option to reduce the risk of passing on the disorder. Many genetic disorders are caused by mutations in a person's DNA, and some of these mutations can be passed down to their children. If you have been diagnosed with a genetic disorder that could be passed on to your child, using donor eggs from a donor without the genetic mutation can significantly reduce the risk of your child inheriting the disorder.
I’ve had recurrent pregnancy losses
If you have experienced recurrent pregnancy losses, using donor eggs may be an option to increase your chances of a successful pregnancy and delivery. Recurrent pregnancy loss is typically defined as the loss of two or more pregnancies, and it can be caused by a variety of factors such as genetic abnormalities, hormonal imbalances, or anatomical issues. Using donor eggs may increase the likelihood of successful fertilization and implantation, which may reduce the risk of pregnancy loss.
Cofertility can help
At Cofertility, we are striving to give you the best egg donation experience possible. We believe matching with an egg donor should be a positive experience. It sounds obvious, right? But the largely unregulated egg donation market has led to some sketchy practices. We want to bring ethics and transparency to an industry where most agencies don’t even have an "About Us" page.
If you're looking for an egg donor — for any of the reasons listed above — you may already feel like the odds are stacked against you. The last thing you need is to feel like you’re “shopping” for a human who plays a critical role in your family-building journey. And we’ll never make it feel that way.
We are honored that you are considering us as part of your family-building journey. Create a free account today to begin meeting our donors. And please reach out if we can be of any assistance!
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Egg Donation for Single Moms by Choice: An Empowering Option for Parenthood
This article explores the process of egg donation, its benefits, ethical considerations, and the emotional journey of single mothers who choose this path. By shedding light on this topic, we aim to provide a comprehensive understanding of egg donation for single moms and its potential impact on their lives.
The concept of single motherhood has evolved significantly over the years, with increasing numbers of women opting to start families without a partner. According to Single Moms by Choice (SMC), over half of all people pursuing sperm donation are single mothers. Furthermore, 78% of them are between the ages of 36-45.
While this decision can be influenced by various personal circumstances, some single women face infertility challenges, necessitating alternative methods to fulfill their dreams of becoming mothers. Egg donation has emerged as an option, providing hope and possibilities for single moms who wish to experience pregnancy and the joys and rewards of raising a child.
This article explores the process of egg donation, its benefits, ethical considerations, and the emotional journey of single mothers who choose this path. By shedding light on this topic, we aim to provide a comprehensive understanding of egg donation for single moms and its potential impact on their lives.
How egg donation works
Egg donation involves a collaborative process that encompasses donor selection, egg retrieval, fertilization, embryo transfer, and pregnancy. It begins with the careful selection and screening of an egg donor, ensuring compatibility with your preferences and medical requirements. Once the donor has been approved by your fertility doctor, we help facilitate all the rest (legal, financial, insurance, and cycle planning).
The egg donor then undergoes ovarian stimulation to produce multiple mature eggs, which are then retrieved through a minimally invasive procedure. These eggs are then fertilized with donor sperm in a laboratory setting. Finally, one or more viable embryos are transferred to the uterus of the mother (or a gestational carrier), who prepares her body for pregnancy through hormone treatments.
Success rates of donor eggs
The success rates of egg donation for single moms depend on several factors, including the quality and quantity of eggs retrieved, the expertise of the fertility clinic, and the general health of the intended mother. Pre-qualified egg donors typically yield higher success rates due to the higher quality and quantity of their eggs. The experience and proficiency of the fertility clinic in handling the process also significantly influences the outcome. And finally, your health and pregnancy history can impact chances of implantation and live birth.
The good news is that the chances of success with donor eggs has more to do with the age of the donor than the age of the mother (or gestational carrier). As you can see from the chart below, the chances of getting pregnant per cycle is much higher with donor eggs than your own eggs, and the gap only increases with your age.

Read Dr. Meera Shah’s article Donor Egg Success Rates: a Breakdown.
For those who match with a donor in our fresh egg donation program, the average number of mature eggs a family receives and fertilizes is 12. The number of eggs retrieved varies by patient and cycle, but can be predicted by a donor’s age, AMH, and antral follicle count, all of which will be known to you after the donor’s initial screening. Qualified candidates have an ample ovarian reserve for both their own needs and sharing. Egg share donors also often work closely with a fertility doctor to determine, based on their own medical history, the optimal number of eggs needed for their own future family-building goals. Should it make sense for the donor, they may choose to pursue a second egg-sharing cycle to maximize the chances of success for everyone.
Matching with a donor in our frozen program can provide the opportunity to move forward with your family-building plans faster, as frozen eggs can be fertilized or shipped to your clinic immediately. Donors undergoing frozen cycles complete equally rigorous ovarian reserve testing. While the total number of frozen eggs available will vary based on the donor’s retrieval outcomes, every frozen match is guaranteed to have a minimum of at least 6 frozen eggs.
To learn more about these programs and the differences between them, click here.
Maternal bricolage
In a Wellesley study exploring the experiences of single mothers by choice who opted for egg donation, an interesting phenomenon emerged: the concept of maternal bricolage. Maternal bricolage refers to the process of choosing and combining the "right materials" (sperm and egg) to create a child who would resemble and connect with the mother and her extended family.
“Like bricoleurs, they do not create the pieces. Instead, their artistry resides in the selection and arrangement of the pieces in a particular order or geometry. Making the claim to being a creator, inventor, originator, or inspiration and to having shaped the genetic makeup of the embryo was for these women essential to crafting a compelling and socially legitimate claim to motherhood.”
The women interviewed in the study faced difficult choices during the early stages of conception, hoping to create a child who would not feel physically out of place and would share similar interests and traits.
For instance, Jamie, a single mother who gave birth to her son at the age of 43, emphasized the importance of her child not feeling like an outsider. Jamie wanted to ensure her child would not feel physically different from her or their extended family. She recognized the influence of interests and talents, questioning the nature versus nurture debate. By selecting a donor who shared similarities with her, Jamie hoped to provide her child with a sense of familiarity and reduce the potential feeling of being an outsider.
This concept of maternal bricolage highlights the thoughtful and intentional decision-making process of single mothers by choice using egg donation. By actively seeking out donors who possess physical characteristics, personality traits, or talents that align with their own or their family's attributes, they aim to create a sense of belonging and connection for their child, shaping their perception of self-identity and reducing potential challenges associated with being donor-conceived.
The Wellesley study sheds light on the depth of consideration and care that single mothers invest in the conception process. It reveals their commitment to not only providing a loving and nurturing environment but also striving to create a strong physical and emotional resemblance between themselves and their children. It emphasizes the profound desire to create a family structure that mirrors their own identities and fosters a deep connection between mother and child.
Benefits of egg donation for single moms
Advanced maternal age, medical conditions affecting fertility, or the absence of a male partner can make it difficult to conceive naturally. Egg donation offers an opportunity to bypass these obstacles and fulfill the desire for motherhood. And for many women, egg donation gives the opportunity to still carry the pregnancy and breastfeed.
Making the decision to pursue egg donation as an intended single mother can be complex. We recommend all intended parents pursuing donor eggs seek emotional support, whether that’s counseling or support groups. You are not alone. Connecting with other single mothers by choice who have experienced similar journeys can help you better navigate the process and foster emotional readiness.
In that Wellesley study referenced above, participants had this to say about their journeys:
“I do believe I had a huge role to help the fetus grow and determine what kind of child it would ultimately be because of epigenetics. There were three of us involved—two donors and me—and I believe my input was still significant.” - Jamie
“Wow this egg donor thing doesn’t matter, it just doesn’t matter. She’s my child, she’s 100 percent my child. I carried her. I’ve breastfed her, birthed her. This is not to say that I don’t think about the egg donor but this child is mine.” - Gail
“What’s so crazy about this process is that my daughter would have never existed without me, being as I am the one to connect these two genetic materials.” - Yasmin
Find an amazing egg donor at Cofertility
At Cofertility, our program is unique. After meeting with hundreds of intended parents, egg donors, and donor-conceived people, we decided on an egg donation model that we think best serves everyone involved: egg sharing.
Here’s how it works: our unique model empowers women to take control of their own reproductive health while giving you the gift of a lifetime. Our donors aren’t doing it for cash – they keep half the eggs retrieved for their own future use, and donate half to your family.
We aim to be the best egg sharing program, providing an experience that honors, respects, and uplifts everyone involved. Here’s what sets us apart:
- Donor empowerment. Our model empowers donors to preserve their own fertility while lifting you up on your own journey. It’s a win-win.
- Diversity: We’re proud of the fact that the donors on our platform are as diverse as the intended parents seeking to match with them. We work with intended parents to understand their own cultural values — including regional nuances — in hopes of finding them the perfect match.
- Human-centered. We didn’t like the status quo in egg donation. So we’re doing things differently, starting with our human-centered matching platform.
- Lifetime support: Historically, other egg donation options have treated egg donor matching as a one-and-done experience. Beyond matching, beyond a pregnancy, beyond a birth…we believe in supporting the donor-conceived family for life. Our resources and education provide intended parents with the guidance they need to raise happy, healthy kids and celebrate their origin stories.
Additionally, every Cofertility intended parent is backed by our comprehensive Embryo Guarantee. For detailed pricing, visit our pricing page.
We are obsessed with improving the family-building journey — today or in the future — and are in an endless pursuit to make these experiences more positive. Create a free account to get started today!
Read more:
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Gay Men Having Babies: Four Genetic Options with Donor Eggs
For gay dads who wish to have a genetically connected child, choosing whose sperm to use is an important decision. It involves considerations of genetics, personal preferences, legal, and ethical aspects. In this article, we will delve into various ways gay dads can navigate this decision and explore four options we’ve seen for family building through egg donation.
For gay dads who wish to have a genetically connected child, choosing whose sperm to use is an important decision. It involves considerations of genetics, personal preferences, legal, and ethical aspects. In this article, we will delve into various ways gay dads can navigate this decision and explore four options we’ve seen for family building through egg donation.
Option 1: One egg donor, half the eggs are fertilized by each partner
In this option, a single egg donor is selected, and the eggs retrieved from the donor are split between both partners for fertilization. Each partner's sperm is used to fertilize an equal number of eggs.
At that point, you could simply pick the highest quality embryo to transfer, regardless of who is the genetic father (or not find out the genetic linkage at all). Or, if you want to have more than one child, you could pick one embryo from each dad. In this option, if you have more than one child, those siblings would be genetically related to each other.
Option 2: Different egg donor for each partner
In this option, two egg donors are chosen—one who resembles each partner physically or in certain desired traits. Then, the other partner’s sperm fertilizes the eggs. Each partner's chosen egg donor provides the eggs for fertilization, allowing for a potential resemblance between the child and both partners.
We often see this strategy in bi-racial relationships. For example, if one partner is Black and the other is Korean, they could find two egg donors, one Black and one Korean. The Black dad would fertilize the eggs of the Korean egg donor, and vice versa. In this method, the children have the same ethnicity (in this example, that would be half Black and half Korean).
This option offers the potential for the child to share physical or desired traits with both partners, and each partner has a direct genetic link to a child through their respective egg donor. However, any siblings would not be genetically related to each other.
Option 3: Family member serves as egg donor
This option involves using a family member, such as the sister or cousin of one partner, as the egg donor. The eggs retrieved from the family member are fertilized with the sperm from the other partner, creating a familial genetic connection between the child and both partners.
This option maintains a strong genetic link to each partner's family, potentially providing a sense of connection and belonging. However, introducing family members into the reproductive process could add emotional and familial complexities that need to be carefully considered.
Option 4: “Trade-sies” with a same-sex female couple for egg and sperm sharing
In this option, which one parent told us they called “trade-sies”, a same-sex male couple can collaborate with a same-sex female couple who are also interested in starting a family through IVF.
One of the female partners from the lesbian couple can donate eggs, while one of the male partners from the gay couple can donate sperm. The two families would divide the resulting embryos. For the gay dads, the embryos would be transferred to a gestational carrier.
This option allows both the gay dads and the lesbian couple to share in the journey of starting a family, creating a unique and supportive bond. This arrangement can foster long-lasting connections between the families involved, creating a broader support network for the child(ren).
Partnering with another couple involves intricate legal arrangements, such as co-parenting agreements, to establish parental rights and responsibilities. As with any co-parenting arrangement, there is a possibility of differences or conflicts arising in the future, which may require ongoing communication and cooperation to navigate successfully.
Find an egg donor through Cofertility
Our Family by Co platform honors families and egg donors with a thoughtful, human-centered egg donor matching experience. Our unique egg sharing model empowers egg donors to take control of their own reproductive health while giving families the gift of a lifetime. Instead of cash compensation, our donors get to keep half of the eggs retrieved.
Why Cofertility:
- Egg donors you won’t find anywhere else: Our unique model removes cash compensation from the equation — and as a result, the incredible women on our platform are all ambitious, educated, kind, and eager to help other families while investing in their own reproductive future.
- Diversity: We’re proud about the fact that the donors on our platform are as diverse as the intended parents seeking to match with them. We work with intended parents to understand their own cultural values — including regional nuances — in hopes of finding them the perfect match.
- Community: Our Family by Co Community (coming soon!) will be a safe space for intended parents of all kinds to connect, support each other, and gain access to exclusive member resources, experts, and events.
- Lifetime support: Historically, other egg donation options have treated egg donor matching as a one-and-done experience. Beyond matching, beyond a pregnancy, beyond a birth…we believe in supporting the donor-conceived family for life. Our resources and education provide intended parents with the guidance they need to raise happy, healthy kids and celebrate their origin stories.
We started this company with the vision of serving all families, regardless of what brought them here. And we promise to provide you with the care we would want for our families. With our commitment to transparency, inclusivity, and innovation, we are striving to be the best in the industry.
Our Split model empowers donors and enables families to find the egg donor perfect match quickly and easily, setting a new standard for excellence in our field. Whether you are just getting educated on egg donation or ready to move forward, we want to help you achieve your goals and build the family of your dreams.
Learn more: