Adoption vs Egg Donation: How Do I Choose?

The path to parenthood can take many roads. There is no single “right way” to become a parent, so you may be debating which path is the right one for you. Two options include egg donation or adoption. 

If you’re asking yourself “should I adopt or find a donor?” then this article is for you. Here, we’ll explore the pros and cons of egg donation, adoption, and embryo donation to help you make the best decision for your family.

What Is egg donation?

The first child born from egg donation was reported in Australia in 1983 and the first American child born from egg donation was in February 1984. Before this medical intervention, for most, adoption was the only path to parenthood. Egg donation opened the door for more people to become parents. 

Egg donation is ideal for those who:

• Have experienced infertility
• Have high risks of passing on genetic disorders to their offspring
• Have diminished ovarian reserve or early menopause.
• Have had multiple unsuccessful IVF cycles
• Are single 
• Are in a same-sex relationship

Pros of using donor eggs

✅ High success rates – donor egg IVF offers higher pregnancy success rates than using one’s own eggs.
✅ Biological connection – the child may share a genetic link with one parent.
✅ Experience pregnancy – if you plan to carry the pregnancy, you can still go through pregnancy, childbirth, and nursing.
✅ Biological siblings – if you already have children, donor eggs can allow for genetic siblings.

Cons of using donor eggs

❌ Emotional considerations – Some may grieve the loss of a genetic link to the mother.
❌ Finding the right donor – The process of selecting an egg donor can take time.
❌ Financial costs – though with our Family by Co platform, we’ve removed cash compensation for donors from the equation. Instead, our donors freeze their eggs entirely for free when giving half of the eggs retrieved to your family.
❌ No guarantees – While donor eggs have higher success rates, there’s no guarantee an embryo will be created or result in pregnancy.

What is adoption?

Adoption is the legal process through which a person assumes the parenting responsibilities for someone else's biological child. The concept of adoption exists across cultures and countries and may be traced all the way back to 6th century AD Roman Law. During this time, if the family patriarch did not have a male heir, an heir could be adopted. This was important for the Romans because by adopting one another’s sons, the nobility ensured the wealth would stay within a few families. 

In the United States, the first modern adoption legislation, the Adoption of Children Act, was passed in Massachusetts in 1851. This act required judges to determine that adoptive parents had “sufficient ability to bring up the child” and that “it is fit and proper that such adoption should take effect.” 

Today there are different types of adoption, including:

• Domestic adoption – Adopting a child within your own country.
• International adoption – Adopting a child from another country.
• Open or semi-open adoption – The birth parent may have ongoing contact with the child.

Pros of adoption

✅ Providing a loving home – Adoption gives a child a stable and supportive family.

✅ Proven success – Studies have shown that adoptive children are less likely to abuse drugs or alcohol and more likely to graduate from high school and go on to college than those who remain in foster care. They are also more likely to have successful careers and strong relationships.

✅ Peace of mind for birth parents – Birth parents often feel reassured that their child is in a loving, caring home.

Cons of adoption

❌ Time-consuming process – Adoption can take 9–12 months or longer.
❌ Cost – Domestic infant adoptions can range from $40,000 to $70,000+.
❌ Birth parent rights – In some cases, birth parents may change their minds during pregnancy or up to 30 days after adoption.
❌ Ongoing birth parent involvement – Since most adoptions are open, there is a chance that the birth parent may want to be a part of the child’s life, and that may be difficult for some adopting parents.
❌ Not always inclusive – Different states have different laws on who can become an adoptive parent based on age, sexual orientation and even religious affiliation.

What is embryo donation?

Embryo donation is an option for individuals and couples who have not been successful with traditional infertility treatments. In this process, frozen embryos donated by others are transferred to the recipient’s uterus, offering an alternative to egg and sperm donation.

Pros of embryo donation

✅ Shorter wait times – Embryos are already created and available.
✅ Lower costs – Typically less expensive than egg donation and adoption.
✅ Experience pregnancy – You can still carry the pregnancy, give birth, and nurse your baby.

Cons of embryo donation

❌ Limited genetic history – Embryo donation is technically an adoption. You may not have access to the full medical history of the embryo’s biological parents.
❌ Matching delays – Although embryos are readily available, it can still take time to find the right match.
❌ No guarantee of success – As with any fertility treatment, pregnancy is not guaranteed.

Which one is right for me?

The decision to use medical intervention to conceive a child or to go through an adoption agency to start a family is an extremely personal one. As you can see above, all paths come with their own set of unique challenges. 

The best thing you can do is become educated in all your options. Get second and third expert opinions. Seek out legal counsel and ask questions.

When considering your options, think about:

• Genetic connection – If having a biological child is important to you, egg donation or embryo donation may be the right path.
• Pregnancy experience – If you want to carry a pregnancy, egg donation or embryo donation allows for that experience.
• Time and cost – Adoption can take longer and cost significantly more, while egg donation and embryo donation have higher success rates.
• Ethical and emotional considerations – Both processes come with their own set of emotional challenges, so it’s essential to be well-informed.

No matter what path you choose, you are not alone. Many families have navigated this journey before you—and each one has found the path that was meant for them.