Starting your surrogacy journey is an amazing step in building your family. While incredibly rewarding, the process often involves numerous professionals, each playing an important role in ensuring a smooth and successful experience. Understanding who these key players are and how they work together can make the journey feel less daunting and more empowering.
This article outlines your surrogacy dream team and how you, as the intended parent, can help to build alignment amongst everyone involved to get to your goal—bringing home a baby—as smoothly as possible.
Your surrogacy dream team and their roles
To build alignment among your surrogacy team, it is important to understand each team member and the unique perspective they bring to the table. Here’s an overview of each team member and how they’ll support you in your surrogacy journey*.
Intended parent(s): The hopeful parent(s) – you and, if applicable, your partner
Gestational carrier: The individual carrying the pregnancy
Reproductive endocrinologist: An OB-GYN with additional training in reproductive endocrinology who will review your surrogate’s medical records, to determine whether she is a suitable candidate for surrogacy, and create the medication protocol to optimize the chances of a successful frozen embryo transfer.
Third-party reproductive team/nurse: Many fertility clinics have a dedicated professional overseeing third-party journeys due to their complexity. This person coordinates key details, including the surrogate’s medical evaluation, lab orders for remote monitoring, and medication logistics.
Outside monitoring clinic: If your surrogate is not local, she will visit this clinic for bloodwork and ultrasounds leading up to and following the embryo transfer.
Mental health professional: A psychologist or social worker who provides surrogacy consultations for intended parents, evaluates the surrogate and her partner (if applicable), and facilitates joint sessions.
Family formation attorney: A lawyer specializing in family formation and third-party reproduction who drafts your legal contract and files parentage documentation per state-specific laws.
Health insurance specialist: An insurance agent specializing in third-party reproduction who reviews your surrogate’s policy and identifies surrogacy-friendly coverage options. They can also assist in securing life insurance for the surrogate.
Escrow: The entity that manages funds used to compensate your surrogate and pay any related expenses.
Surrogacy agency and/or surrogacy consultant: Agencies match intended parents with surrogates and coordinate the journey. Consultants (like Surrogacy Simplified) can help identify an agency that fits your needs and provide expert oversight. Consultants also support independent journeys, offering case management while reducing costs.
*Please note that your degree of involvement with some of the professionals listed will vary based on whether you are working with an agency, consultant, or on an independent surrogacy journey.
Building alignment amongst your team
With so many professionals and individuals supporting you toward your goal of parenthood, it’s important to build clear communication, shared expectations, and strong relationships among them. A well-aligned team can reduce stress, minimize delays, and help you navigate the complexities of surrogacy with confidence. Here are some strategies to ensure team alignment and create a more efficient, supportive journey.
1. Overcommunicate
Consistent communication prevents misunderstandings and ensures all details are shared among team members. Copy all relevant parties on emails (pro tip: remind everyone to hit “reply all”). By keeping the information in writing you can provide a record of each step in the process.
2. Share timeline goals
Being transparent about your timeline goals helps professionals assess their ability to meet your expectations. Many intended parents want to move as quickly as possible (and we get it, this journey may be years in the making once you get to the point of matching with a surrogate). If you have a time-specific goal in mind it is important to share these openly with your team. For example, if your surrogate’s cycle begins in three weeks, let your attorney know and ask them to confirm whether they can finalize the legal contract in time.
3. Show appreciation and celebrate milestones
There are going to be stressful periods throughout the surrogacy journey. Taking moments to show appreciation for your support team can go a long way and can help to build your surrogacy team’s morale. Sharing updates along the way with everyone you’re working with not only helps keep everyone in the loop but strengthens the working relationship.
4. Maintain flexibility
While communication and planning are critical, unexpected challenges can arise. Adopting a flexible mindset can help you navigate any unforeseen changes as part of the journey and allow you to continue forward.
5. Manage stress
A surrogacy journey is emotionally and financially demanding. Prioritizing self-care—whether through exercise, meditation, support groups, or time with loved ones—can help you stay grounded and focused on the goal of bringing home your baby. At Surrogacy Simplified, we’ve created a community for intended parents to connect with others on the surrogacy journey, find a sense of belonging, and access a comprehensive resource library on third-party reproduction.
A few closing thoughts
Surrogacy is an incredible process with many ups and downs. There are many team members involved to make sure that you, your surrogate, and your future baby are set up for success – mentally, physically, and legally. While the process may feel overwhelming at times, breaking it into small steps can make it feel much more manageable. Most importantly, don’t feel as though you as the intended parent need to be the expert on every step of the process – building a team that you can trust and rely on is key. Your support team will be there to help guide you through the process every step of the way!
Surrogacy Simplified provides expert guidance and personalized support to Intended Parents navigating both independent and agency-led surrogacy journeys. Owned by a former Intended Mother, they understand firsthand the complexities of surrogacy and ensure you feel supported at every phase of your surrogacy journey. They provide comprehensive case management of independent journeys, allowing Intended Parents to experience all the same support and guidance as an agency, in a more financially accessible way. They offer bespoke concierge services for agency-led journeys, supporting Intended Parents as they select their surrogacy agency that best matches their needs and provide oversight of the journey. They also have a private community exclusively for Intended Parents where they attend monthly support group meetings and have a safe space to share experiences and ask questions.
