At Cofertility, our team makes all the difference in how we support our members. Each month, we'll introduce you to one of the dedicated people working behind the scenes to make your experience better.

This month, we’re sitting down with Xilo, one of our incredible Member Advocates! Before joining Cofertility, Xilo built a career in healthcare management and patient care at mission-driven healthcare startups, fueling her passion for creating more equitable healthcare experiences and advancing women’s health. With a Master of Public Health from NYU and a Bachelor of Science in Biomedical Sciences from Texas A&M University, she brings deep expertise and a commitment to reproductive healthcare access to her work. At Cofertility, Xilo finds purpose in guiding Split members through their egg-freezing journeys, offering support, compassion, and knowledge at every step of the process.

Let's get to know Xilo better:

Q: What drew you to working at Cofertility?

Since I can remember, I’ve known I wanted to take part in moving the needle in women’s health in ways that challenge the status quo. Learning about the high maternal mortality rate in the U.S. and how with the right resources, many such cases could have been prevented, drove my commitment to pursue a career where I could make a difference. When I discovered Cofertility, I was inspired by the mission to give young people the opportunity to freeze their eggs and empower them to choose parenthood on their own terms, and at a time that they can ensure they have the support and resources needed for a healthy, safe pregnancy. It felt like exactly the kind of innovative, impactful work that has the opportunity to make a real difference in the trajectory of a person’s life. 

Q: Can you walk us through what a typical day looks like for you?

My days start with either a trip to the gym or a slower morning having my coffee outside and throwing the ball for my three dogs. Once I log on, I start by checking in on Split members who are in cycle or have upcoming screening appointments. I then work through my inbox, create my task list, and spend the rest of the day tackling those items with meetings, ongoing communication with members, and broader experience improvement work sprinkled in. For lunch, I love cooking something quick or putting together a yummy sandwich. I usually make an after lunch pick-me-up - lately it’s been matcha with coconut water and salted vanilla cold foam. :) Towards the end of the day, I review what I’ve completed, create follow-up tasks for the next day, and respond to any final messages before logging off, staying available to Split Members in-cycle via text or call. In the evenings, I try to take a walk around my neighborhood, even if it’s a quick one and usually end the night with a couple of episodes of my show of the moment. 

Q: What's the most rewarding part of supporting members through their family-building process?

For me, the most rewarding part of supporting members is knowing the sense of relief we give them by helping them freeze their eggs early. I think about the exhale they get to take knowing they are not in a rush to have kids before they are ready. It means a lot to be a place of safety for them, somewhere they know is judgment-free to bring their questions or hesitations and talk through them. The conversations I get to have after members learn how many eggs have been frozen for them and hearing their excitement is one of my favorite parts of this job. 

Q: Is there a particular member story that has stuck with you?

One of the matches I worked with early on at Cofertility truly touched my heart. The split member is such a wonderful human, pursuing her PhD, and the intended parents are equally as lovely. From their match meeting to liaising communication between them where they would exchange letters and photos leading up to the retrieval, it was such a joy to watch their relationship grow. I helped to coordinate a lunch before the retrieval, which made the experience extra special for them. I’d often find myself beaming at the screen while working on anything related to their journey, and even now, writing this, I can’t help but smile. They’re such a beautiful example of how with shared expectations about communication and a genuine connection, a match can really flourish, all while benefiting the split member’s fertility preservation and allowing the intended parents a real chance at growing their family.

Q: How do you approach supporting members who might be feeling anxious or uncertain?

When a Split member is feeling anxious or uncertain, making sure they feel heard and that they know their feelings are valid goes a really long way. After that, it is a matter of getting their questions answered and making sure they have the resources they need to feel like they are making informed decisions. Sometimes that means jumping on a call to really understand what is on their mind, and other times they may want to be pointed towards articles or set up with a call to speak to one of our partner physicians. At the base of every solution is listening, and I value the trust members place in me to guide them through such an important and emotional part of their journey.

Q: What's one thing you wish more people knew about egg donation?

I wish more people understood what a beautiful and mutually supportive journey egg donation can be, and how rewarding it feels not only for intended parents but also for donors. I hear from so many Split members who share how much they love receiving updates about the intended parents they matched with. Even those who have chosen undisclosed donations express excitement about being able to help intended parents in such a tremendous and meaningful way.                                                                                                                                                

Q: If you could give one piece of advice to someone just starting their family-building process, what would it be?

Ask questions, and know that no question is too small or too simple. Advocate for yourself, especially if something is unclear, and seek out the information you need to feel confident in your decisions. Surround yourself with people who support your right to understand each step of the process. Be mentally prepared for unexpected hiccups along the way, and remember that patience can be one of your greatest strengths during this journey. 

Q: Outside of work, what do you enjoy doing?

I love trying new coffee shops, grilling dinner in the summer with my boyfriend, making a stewy pot of beans in the winter, and going for walks around San Antonio to pop in to new restaurants and small locally owned grocers with fun new items to try. I like to thrift, both clothes and home finds. I enjoy tackling small DIY projects in my 1920s home like adding a fun pop of paint or rethinking the layout in a room. I have ten nieces and nephews who range between babies and college students and I love spending time with each of them as often as I can. 

Q: How do you practice self-care while supporting members through emotional moments?

Finding balance in my day is probably the most impactful way I avoid feeling overwhelmed after a particularly emotional conversation. I make sure to build in slower moments, whether it’s working outside for a bit or or making an extra yummy lunch that day. It’s easy to carry the anxiety of wanting members to have the best, least stressful experience possible, but reminding myself that some things are out of my control helps me keep perspective. Exercise is also a big part of my self-care and that uninterrupted time to recharge and move my body allows me to show up fully for members.

Q: What's one of your proudest moments as a Member Advocate?

This is a tough question for me because I feel proud every day in my interactions with Split members and in being an advocate for them throughout this journey. I’m proud to log in each day knowing that the work Cofertility is doing is making a real difference in the lives of young women and intended parents, and that what I do directly impacts people in such a meaningful way. There’s no better feeling than waking up and knowing that you’re helping to create a higher standard of care for generations to come, one where people have choices, and where they’re truly advocated for and listened to regardless of who they are, what they look like, or who they choose to love.