Knowledge is power
We want you to feel confident making choices about your own fertility. Whether you’re considering egg freezing for the first time or have donated eggs before, we believe there’s always something new to learn.
Do I Need to Stop Taking My Antidepressant to Freeze My Eggs?
If you’re on any medications for your mental health and you’re considering freezing or donating your eggs, you may be wondering if you’ll need to stop your antidepressant during the process. This is a common question and we’ll be answering it in today’s article so read on to find out.
The number of people choosing to freeze their eggs has been rising steadily for the past several years. At the same time, antidepressant use in the US has also been on the rise, especially during and after the peak of the COVID-19 pandemic. It goes without saying that given both these trends, many of the people who are freezing their eggs are also people who struggle with mental health conditions. If you’re on any medications for your mental health and you’re considering freezing or donating your eggs, you may be wondering if you’ll need to stop your antidepressant during the process. This is a common question and we’ll be answering it in today’s article so read on to find out.
What is egg freezing?
Before we dive into the world of antidepressants, let’s briefly talk about what egg freezing even is. In a nutshell, egg freezing (aka oocyte cryopreservation) is a way to collect some of your eggs and preserve them for future use. The process takes about 10-14 days and involves taking hormone medication to stimulate your ovaries to grow mature eggs. The eggs are collected during a 30-minute outpatient procedure called an egg retrieval and then frozen until you’re ready to use them.
Given how expensive egg freezing can get, you might be wondering why so many people are choosing to do it. There are many reasons but most of them go back to the same core issue: egg freezing is a way to keep your reproductive options open for later by preserving younger, healthier eggs for future use.
Research has shown that many people are delaying starting their families for reasons that can be personal, professional, financial, psychological, or all of the above. In our own survey of Cofertility users, we asked over 28,000 gen Z and millennial women about their family planning and goals. The majority of responders (73%) said that building their career or going back to school is the most important thing to them right now. This was followed by traveling (53%), finding a life partner (43%) and cultivating new hobbies (32.1%). Additionally, egg freezing has received more and more media attention over the last several years which has certainly helped to increase public awareness of this intervention as a way to keep future fertility options as open as possible.
The low-down on antidepressants
Antidepressants are a group of drugs used to treat depression. Selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors (SSRIs) and serotonin and norepinephrine reuptake inhibitors (SNRIs) are the 2 classes (or types) of antidepressants that are most often prescribed but atypical antidepressants are another, newer class that are also used in certain cases. Each class of antidepressant has a different mechanism for how it changes neurochemical levels in the brain to improve the symptoms of depression and other mood disorders. When used correctly, they can improve mood, increase energy levels, and enhance overall functioning. Antidepressants as well as other drugs like benzodiazepines have also been found to be effective as anti-anxiety medications, though only two SSRIs are specifically FDA-approved for anxiety disorders.
Use of both antidepressants and anti-anxiety medications has been rising for over a decade in the US. According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), 13.2% of adults aged 18 and over use antidepressant medications. Women, older adults, and non-Hispanic whites are the highest users.
Overall, during the decade between 2009 and 2018, antidepressant use increased to 14% from 11% and in all age groups, it was higher among women than it was in men.
Based on these stats, it’s fair to ask why women are more depressed than men. The answer is complicated but women aren’t necessarily more depressed than men. While there is some evidence that fluctuating hormones and more sensitivity to internalized triggers (like relationship drama) may contribute to higher rates of depression in women, there’s also the simple fact that women are more likely to actually go see a doctor to take care of their symptoms. As a result, they are more likely to report depressive symptoms, be diagnosed, and be prescribed appropriate medication.
Do antidepressants affect cycle outcomes?
Alright, let’s get into the reason you’re here: do antidepressants affect egg freezing or in vitro fertilization (IVF) cycle outcomes? The most commonly used antidepressant (SSRIs) and anti-anxiety medications (benzodiazepines) don’t have any clear, long-term impacts on egg quantity or quality, ovulation, or chances of conception (though SSRIs do have short-term effects on sperm).
Studies of people using IVF to conceive suggest no effect of SSRI use on hormone levels, number of eggs retrieved, number of eggs that develop into blastocysts, number of embryos rated as “high quality,” or number of embryos transferred. So overall, antidepressants do not appear to affect cycle outcomes.
Let’s dive deeper into this. Since we know SSRIs and other antidepressants often work by changing levels of neurochemicals in the brain like serotonin, there is also the question of whether or not these medications influence reproductive hormones. Unfortunately, there are fewer studies to look at when assessing this (because most studies are done on men in order to avoid the hormonal fluctuations seen in women–lame, we know) but one study did look at almost 1,000 people with ovaries. The study found no differences in menstrual cycle characteristics as a function of SSRI use and no significant differences in pregnancy rates. Other larger studies have had similar findings and showed no differences in chances of conception between people using or not using SSRIs or benzodiazepines.
One thing to note though: there is some evidence that SSRIs increase prolactin levels and very high prolactin levels can mess with your period and prevent you from ovulating. That being said, there are other studies that have not shown this link between SSRI use and prolactin levels and even the studies that do, haven’t shown that prolactin levels are elevated to a high enough level to affect ovulation.
In the context of natural fertility, there is one sneaky, easy-to-miss way that these meds could impact chances of conception — by lowering your sex drive. Having sex less often during your fertile window could definitely lower chances of conception (the general rec is to have sex every 1-2 days in that window). However, how much an antidepressant affects sexual function will be different from person to person and will depend on the specific medication being used.
The CDC and the American Society for Reproductive Medicine (ASRM) consider antidepressant use to be safe during fertility treatments. Other organizations like the American Psychological Association (APA) and the American College of Obstetricians & Gynecologists (ACOG) also recommend that people do not change their SSRI or benzodiazepine use once they’re pregnant unless instructed to by their provider.
Can you donate eggs if you’re on an SSRI?
This is a pretty common question for people considering donating their eggs. Current use of SSRIs or other antidepressants is considered a “relative exclusion criteria” by the ASRM. This means that it does not automatically disqualify someone from being an egg donor, however, it will be reviewed on a case by case basis by the fertility provider or clinic. Current use of antidepressants may be totally fine with one clinic, but not with another. Many providers feel that common antidepressants are overprescribed in the face of more situational challenges, like the pandemic or other big life changes. Some antidepressant use may also point to another medical condition that would disqualify someone.
Here’s a list of rejection criteria from the ASRM that would automatically make someone ineligible to donate:
- Having been institutionalized for a mental health disorder
- A positive family history of psychiatric disorders
- Two or more first-degree relatives with substance use disorders
- A history of emotional, sexual, or physical abuse without professional treatment
- Excessive stress
- Relationship instability
If you’re interested in what the psych screening for an egg donor entails, you can find more information about it here.
We’re here to help
There’s a lot to consider when it comes to egg donation–and the psychological aspect of the screening is only one part of a larger process to ensure we’re doing right by you and by the receiving parents. The Cofertility team is here to guide you through every single step. By donating your eggs, you’re doing something remarkable for a family in need. We know that everyone’s situation is different, so our job is to make the process feel equally remarkable for you. Whether you continue or discontinue antidepressants during your own process is going to be a decision you make after weighing the risks and benefits and talking to your fertility provider. Whatever you end up choosing for yourself, our team is here to support you through it.
Q&A with a Cofertility Split Member: “Helping Someone Who Wants to Be a Parent So Badly Is Truly Life Changing”
Cofertility is a human-first fertility ecosystem rewriting the egg freezing and egg donation experience. Our Split program allows women to freeze their eggs at no cost, when they donate half to a family that could not otherwise conceive. I had the privilege of sitting down with one of our Split members to delve into her personal journey—why she chose to freeze her eggs through our program, how she navigated the emotional toll, and the future she envisages for herself and her family.
Cofertility is a human-first fertility ecosystem rewriting the egg freezing and egg donation experience. Our Split program allows women to freeze their eggs at no cost, when they donate half to a family that could not otherwise conceive. We are obsessed with improving the family-building journey — today or in the future — and are in an endless pursuit to make these experiences more positive.
Today, I have the privilege of sitting down with one of our Split members to delve into her personal journey—why she chose to freeze her eggs through our program, how she navigated the emotional toll, and the future she envisages for herself and her family. By peeling back the layers, we seek to understand not just the practicalities but also the emotional and psychological nuances of this choice.
Why did you decide to freeze your eggs through Cofertility’s Split program? What were the factors that led to this decision?
I had considered donating my eggs a few times before I had heard of Cofertility, but it had never moved beyond it being an idea in my head because it never felt right. Most of the marketing I saw about egg donation focused on the monetary benefits, which I understood because it is an invasive procedure, but they never talked about where your eggs were going. It felt very impersonal and that I would have no control or say in where these eggs would go.
I had not considered it again until I heard about Cofertility on Instagram. When I first learned about the idea of helping a couple to conceive while also protecting your own fertility I thought it was genius and wondered why this wasn't an option already. My company does not have egg freezing benefits so egg freezing wasn't something I had been planning to do.
Cofertility's split option gave me an opportunity I hadn't even considered - egg donation that didn't feel as yucky and a chance to preserve my own fertility without a huge price tag. It really felt surreal that I would be able to freeze my eggs and not worry so much about a timeline to decide on kids.
What was the hardest part of the process?
Overall, I really felt that Cofertility made this process quite easy for me. Having a member advocate throughout the entire process was incredible, and not having that person switch or change made it really easy to build up the trust.
At the clinic I went to I saw various nurses and doctors, but my Cofertility member advocate stayed the same and that consistency was extremely impactful to my mental health throughout the process.
At the clinic I went to I saw various nurses and doctors, but my Cofertility member advocate stayed the same and that consistency was extremely impactful to my mental health throughout the process. Out of the entire process, I would say the number of appointments and the amount of time needed during the two-week hormone cycle was probably the hardest. Getting blood drawn multiple times a week, followed by doctors appointments, and all the waiting that comes with both does require time investment. I would try to make my appointments as early in the morning as possible to not interfere with my work, but giving yourself grace and flexibility for those two weeks is necessary. I am fortunate to have the flexibility at my job and work with a group of people that were extremely supportive of what I was going through, but if you are someone who is not used to the process it can feel like a lot of time out of your control.
Was there anything that you were nervous about, but ended up not being as bad as you thought?
I was most nervous about the shots going into it, but they ended up not being as bad as I had expected them to be. For the most part, the needles were much shorter and thinner than I expected and I was able to do all of the shots myself.
In fact, once I did my first one I felt a sense of pride and accomplishment for being able to do it. Cofertility had given me a goody bag when I started my cycle and the little ice pack was wonderful for any post-shot discomfort. I also tried to pair the shots with a treat for myself as a little reward... give myself a shot and have some chocolate, give myself a shot and watch a show I love, give myself a shot and do a little online shopping. This process was all new and different for my body so I tried to give myself grace and love throughout it!
Read about egg freezing shots in I'm Afraid of Needles; Can I Still Freeze My Eggs?
Did freezing your eggs affect your relationships or dating life in any way? How did you navigate these aspects during the process?
When thinking about the people I know who have gone through the egg freezing journey, they were all in different stages of their dating / relationship journey. Some were casually dating and not looking for anything serious, some had a new partner that they hoped would turn into something serious, and some were with a long-term partner but not ready to build their family further than that yet. I fall into that last category. When I decided to freeze my eggs with Cofertility, my husband and I had been together for 9 years and married for one. While we were very serious about each other, we weren't sure if or when we wanted kids, but we knew we didn't want them now. My husband was very supportive of the idea of freezing my eggs for our own future use, but I was curious how he would feel about me donating eggs to another family. When I brought it up to him he truly had less hesitation than I even had. His perspective from day one has been that it is my body and if I feel comfortable with the choice then he is here to support me. That position did not change throughout the process, and if anything he (similar to myself) felt more confident each day with the decision to "split" once we met the intended parents and got to know them more.
I feel very lucky to have had a supportive partner to go through this with and someone who trusted my choices 100%. I know this route is something that may take some partners time to digest and understand, but I think in the end the most important thing is that you, as the person freezing and donating your eggs, feel that this is right for you.
Read more in Want to Donate Your Eggs? Tips on Talking It Over with Your Partner
How did you manage the emotional and psychological aspects of freezing and donating your eggs?
Looking back, the opportunity to know the parents who I was donating the eggs to played a huge role in managing the donation emotionally and psychologically. When I first learned about Cofertility I wasn't sure if I would want to have a disclosed donation. I was worried about what that would mean and what that relationship would look like.
After learning more about egg donation, it was clear that there is no such thing as an anonymous donor due to the genetic testing that exists today. If I wanted to donate my eggs, I needed to be okay that the child(ren) that they created would be able to know who I am at some point in their life. This was something that I thought over for a while and researched how DCP (Donor Conceived People) felt about. I wanted to know that I was doing the right thing for the possible children that came from these eggs - my own and the intended parents'.
In the end I felt really good about my decision to have a disclosed donation. Knowing that both the intended parents and myself were on the same page on this built a foundation of care and immense respect for the other party.
In the end I felt really good about my decision to have a disclosed donation. Knowing that both the intended parents and myself were on the same page on this built a foundation of care and immense respect for the other party. I have always shared with them that I want to follow their lead on what feels right throughout the process and the years to come and they have been great communicators of what they want while respecting my choices as well. This relationship, along with the huge support from Cofertility, made the process really supportive of my mental health. I went into it wondering if the combination of doing something totally new, medications / hormones, and other life stress would be hard to handle, but I think the peace of mind that comes with preserving your fertility hugely outweighed any weight from those factors.
What are your plans for the future regarding your frozen eggs? How do you envision incorporating them into your family-building journey, if applicable?
Right now, my husband and I haven't decided when we will start to build our family. In a perfect and easy world, we would have no trouble conceiving and the eggs I have frozen wouldn't need to be used, but I have seen for so many people I love this is not always the case. Whether we use the eggs to conceive all of our future children, conceive naturally at first then need to use the eggs for later children, or not use the eggs at all, it gives me so much peace of mind to know that they are there and we took this step to preserve my fertility. It is not an insurance plan, but it feels good to know that Cofertility opened a door for me that otherwise I likely would not have opened on my own.
Lastly, what advice would you give to someone who is considering freezing and donating their eggs? Are there any important factors they should keep in mind?
The biggest advice I would have is to really understand if you want your egg freezing journey to be something that happens and you are done with it or if you are open to something that will be a little part of you for your life.
What I mean by this is that if you freeze your eggs without donating you go through the process, the injections, and the retrieval and then you are done unless you one day need to use those eggs. When you freeze your eggs and donate half you go through that same process, but in the future there may be a DCP that reaches out to you once they are 18 to try to make a connection, or intended parents that reach out when they need additional family medical history, or maybe you have a closer relationship with the intended parents and you get annual cards with updates of the DCP.
No matter the case, there is a possibility that your involvement with egg donation does not end entirely when the eggs are physically donated. This was something I really thought hard about and found a lot of peace with. The process that Cofertility leads you through with speaking to a fertility counselor both alone and with the intended parents helped with that as well.
On top of the counseling, having a clear contract and great legal support (Cofertility also helps with recommending representation) gave me peace of mind that I knew and agreed to all boundaries in the donation.
I truly think egg donation is such a meaningful thing to do, helping someone who wants to be a parent so badly conceive is truly life changing and I am so grateful to Cofertility for giving me the opportunity to help out an amazing couple and also preserve my own fertility in the process.
Read more:
Researchers Followed 921 Patients Who Froze Their Eggs; Here’s What They Found
In this article, we’ll explore the findings of one large study that looked at nearly 1,000 patients who froze their eggs and what happened with those eggs years down the line. There haven’t been a ton of studies and surveys that look into this but it’s important information to know as you consider your fertility options. While the process of egg freezing has improved significantly in recent decades, there’s still some concern about whether egg freezing is worth it and what outcomes to expect if someone does end up using their eggs.
In the last few years, egg freezing has become a more and more popular option for people who want to preserve their fertility and/or delay their family-building. While the process of egg freezing has improved significantly in recent decades, there’s still some concern about whether egg freezing is worth it (especially with its hefty price tag) and what outcomes to expect if someone does end up using their eggs. There haven’t been a ton of studies and surveys that look into this but it’s important information to know as you consider your fertility options. In this article, we’ll explore the findings of one large study that looked at nearly 1,000 patients who froze their eggs and what happened with those eggs years down the line.
The nuts and bolts
First off, let’s get the boring definitions out of the way. The first thing to know is what type of study this is, or how it was designed. In this case, a retrospective observational cohort study was performed. This means that researchers looked at a group of people who had been exposed to a particular treatment in the past (in this case, egg freezing) and then followed them over time to see what happened. Pretty simple, right? The main goal of this type of research is to understand more about the relationship between the treatment in question and the outcomes that the research team chooses to measure.
What they looked at
Now, let’s get into the specifics of what was being measured in this study. The primary goal here was to follow a cohort of patients who returned to use their frozen eggs and to see what their cycle outcomes were. So, researchers looked at the clinical experiences of 921 people who froze their eggs at a fertility center between 2006 and 2020. Anyone who froze their eggs for medical reasons was excluded. They gathered information about each patient’s background, the freezing and thawing of their eggs, and what happened when they tried to have a baby using those eggs.
The main outcome the researchers wanted to measure was the live birth rate (LBR), which is a number that tells you the chances of an actual baby being born. In addition to that, they also collected information about each patient’s clinical pregnancy rate (CPR) as well as their CPR and LBR per embryo transfer. CPR is the number that tells you the chances of a documented pregnancy. Once these results were collected, they were then separated based on whether the patients were younger or older than 38.
What they learned
Ok, now onto the good stuff: the results! There were several key questions that this study gave us some answers to. Let’s break them down.
- What percentage of people actually come back to use their frozen eggs? 68 of the 921 patients in this cohort (7.4%) returned to use their frozen eggs to create embryos for transfer. Interestingly, the patients who came back to use their frozen eggs were on average older (about 38 years old).
- What percentage of the people who used their frozen eggs got pregnant and had a baby (i.e., CPR and LBR)? Almost one-third of patients who came back (32.4%) successfully achieved a live birth from their frozen egg, with 39 years old (at the time of freezing) being the upper limit of success. No patient who froze eggs at the age of 40 or over had a successful live birth from those eggs.
- How does age at time of egg freezing and at time of transfer impact clinical outcomes? There was a trend towards lower CPR and LBR the older the person was at the time they froze their eggs–this makes sense given our understanding that fertility declines as we get older. Almost 40% of people who were less than 38 years old at the time of egg freezing had a live birth, compared to only 25% of patients who were 38 and over. While this difference wasn’t a statistically significant one, it’s still evidence that age matters.
- How did outcomes compare between people who tried having a baby using their frozen eggs and people who do in vitro fertilization (IVF) at the same age with non-frozen eggs? Even though the people who go through egg freezing may not have an infertility diagnosis at the time of the freezing, the rate of success for these patients is on par with IVF success rates for infertile patients in the same age group.
Strengths and weaknesses
As interesting as all of this data is, it’s always important to consider what strengths and limitations a study has. This study had some notable strengths. It provides us with real-world data on how well frozen eggs work. This is much more useful than the mostly theoretical data that’s been published before. In addition, the outcomes were described for each egg freezing cycle and as a total success rate for each patient. This total success rate is the most helpful when it comes to advising patients on their own chances of having a baby. The study also looked at 14 years of data from a single large hospital that does a lot of IVF in the area. With that long of a time span, we’re able to get a good idea of how patients have been doing in this region during that time.
Now, onto the limitations. One big issue with this study is that of the 921 initial patients, there weren't many to analyze who actually returned to use their frozen eggs. It's not surprising, then, that no statistically significant differences could be found in the outcomes between the under 38 and over 38 age groups. What does this mean? Basically, these results should be taken with a grain of salt. A much larger study is the next step to confirm these findings, but that would likely take several more years given the low use of frozen eggs and the time it takes for someone to use their eggs after freezing them. Despite the small number of patients, this study is still one of the larger ones when it comes to reporting what happens once frozen eggs are thawed and used.
In a nutshell…
So what should you, as a potential egg freezer, take away from this? Here are the major points to remember:
- Based on the LBR of 32.4% that this study reports, egg freezing is a great fertility preservation option when done at younger ages (<38 years old).
- Age at time of egg freezing affects success more than age at the time of transfer. This was shown by the fact that no patient who froze eggs at age 40 or over had a live birth from those eggs.
- Using frozen eggs results in ongoing pregnancy or a live birth at a rate that’s on par with IVF patients of the same age.
- These results should all be taken with a grain of salt because of the small number of people who actually returned to use their frozen eggs. A much larger study needs to happen next to confirm these numbers.
At the end of the day, egg freezing provides people with more options so that they can have more control over their fertility options later down the line. It’s not a guarantee, though, and it should not be treated as such. There are so many factors that impact a person’s fertility and whether or not egg freezing is a good option for them. Family planning is going to look different for every person so you need to do what’s right for you. When you’re ready, talking to a fertility specialist can help you make up your mind.
In the meantime, Freeze by Co is here to help you every step of the way on that journey. Our Split program allows those who qualify to freeze their eggs for free! In a “Split” cycle, you donate half of the eggs retrieved to a family that’s trying to conceive and freeze the remaining half for yourself. Or, if you don’t want to donate, you can still participate in the Keep program, where you’re able to freeze your eggs and keep them all for yourself, on your timeline. In addition, you’ll have access to our online support community. This valuable resource lets you engage with other people freezing their eggs at the same time!
Whatever you end up choosing for yourself, our team is here to guide you through it and keep your options open.
What Does It Mean to Donate Your Eggs?
Egg donation is an incredible way for women to help others fulfill their dreams of parenthood — but you might be wondering, what does “egg donation” actually mean? The process involves several steps, and it’s important to have a rock-solid understanding of what’s involved before moving forward with donating your eggs.
Egg donation is an incredible way for women to help others fulfill their dreams of parenthood — but you might be wondering, what does “egg donation” actually mean? The process involves several steps, and it’s important to have a rock-solid understanding of what’s involved before moving forward with donating your eggs.
In this article, we’ll explore the intricacies of egg donation, why women choose to donate their eggs, dispel common myths about egg donation, and share more about how the Cofertility Split program is a unique approach to egg donation.
How egg donation works
Egg donation is a medical process in which a woman provides her eggs to assist another individual or couple in conceiving a child. This process can be a beacon of hope for those struggling with infertility, same-sex couples, or individuals who cannot use their eggs for various medical reasons, like cancer survivors.
The egg donation process, step-by-step
Screening and matching
As a first step, if you’re interested in donating your eggs, you can apply to Freeze by Co’s programs by answering a few quick questions about yourself. If you qualify, you’ll move on to the full application where you’ll provide some information about your family medical history, genetic background, and motivations for going through the process.
Once you’ve been accepted into Freeze by Co’s Split program — where you can freeze your eggs for free when you donate half of the eggs retrieved to another family who can’t conceive — you’ll immediately join our member community, where you can connect with others at the exact same point in the process, lean on each other, and learn from one another.
As you await your intended parent match, you’ll undergo some bloodwork at a local lab to get an idea of your potential ovarian reserve (or egg count) ahead of time. This helps give everyone the confidence that you’ll get enough eggs to share. Once you match with an intended parent, you’ll then undergo in-person medical and psych testing before moving on to legal contracts, your stimulation cycle, and retrieval.
Donating eggs is a big deal, and not to be taken lightly on either end — so these first screening steps are incredibly important!
Legal
Once you’ve entered into a match with intended parents and you’ve passed your initial physical screening, you will enter into a legal agreement with the intended parents. This document will lay out all specifics regarding your and the intended parents’ rights throughout the process. Specifically, it will note that by donating your eggs, you waive all rights to those eggs and are not considered the parent of any resulting embryos or children.
This contract also provides the opportunity to put into writing your preferences around disclosure and communication, and intended parents will do the same. Ultimately, this is a vital step throughout the process — and at Cofertility, we provide members of our Split program legal counsel to ensure they are represented fairly.
Stimulation and retrieval
Once you’ve been given the green light, you’ll begin your egg donation cycle. During your 10-14 day cycle, you’ll take injectable hormone medications daily to stimulate your ovaries to produce multiple egg-containing follicles. Frequent monitoring via quick blood tests and ultrasounds will ensure that your eggs are reaching peak maturity prior to retrieval. As the eggs mature, you may feel some bloating.
When the eggs reach maturity, a minor surgical procedure known as an egg retrieval is performed under sedation. A specialized needle is used to extract the eggs from your ovaries, and it’s a relatively quick procedure, and you’ll go home that day to get some rest. Your doctor will monitor you closely afterwards and check in after the procedure to ensure there are no complications.
Your half of the eggs will be frozen and safely stored for up to 10 years for free. The other half will go to the family you matched with.
Read more:
So, why would a woman donate her eggs?
There are many reasons why someone might donate her eggs, but the main rationale we tend to hear falls into a few main categories:
- Empathy and compassion: Many women choose to donate their eggs out of a desire to help others experience the joy of parenthood. They want to make a meaningful difference in someone's life and recognize the emotional struggles of those trying to bring children into the world, especially if they know someone first-hand who has faced family-building challenges.
- Ethical considerations: Many egg donors share a strong belief in reproductive autonomy, allowing individuals and couples to make choices about their family-building journey.
- Opportunity to freeze your eggs for free: Egg donation can also offer financial compensation to donors, though the exact amount varies by location and agency. Our Split program instead offers a unique approach, allowing women to freeze their eggs for free when they donate half the eggs retrieved to another family.
Facts and myths about egg donation
When it comes to egg donation, there’s a ton of misinformation out there — let’s dive into some of the big myths you may come across and dissect which ones are fact vs. fiction.
Can you still have kids after donating eggs?
Yes. Donating eggs does not affect a woman's ability to have children in the future. A stimulation and retrieval cycle involves such a small fraction of a woman’s total egg supply, which the body replenishes. That said, it's essential to consider your own family-building goals with a healthcare provider before becoming a donor — which is why we offer our Split program. Those participating in the program are able to preserve a bit of their own fertility while doing something amazing for another family.
Read more in Does Donating Eggs Affect Your Fertility?
Are donor eggs your baby?
Nope. Donor eggs are *not* babies. They are half of the genetic material used for the child of the intended parent(s), with the remaining genetic material coming from the sperm provider (the intended parent or a sperm donor). A donor's contribution is solely the eggs, not the full genetic makeup of the child. And, as mentioned above, as part of the process you’ll sign a legal agreement clarifying that you do not have rights to any embryos or children resulting from these eggs.
Will I experience psychological impact?
Yes — but in a good way! If screened and educated properly (this is a big “if”), anyone donating eggs should have full informed consent about the donation process and everything involved. All egg donors should undergo thorough psychological assessments and have access to counseling before, during, and after the process to ensure their emotional well being.
At Freeze by Co, our model removes cash compensation from the egg donation process (rather, enabling women in our Split program to freeze half of the eggs for their own future use for free). We’ve designed the program to provide Split members with the opportunity to not only preserve some of their own fertility future, but also help another family. This way, everyone involved can feel good about the journey.
Read more in Will I Regret Donating My Eggs?
Donating eggs through Cofertility's Split program
Cofertility's Split program is a unique approach to egg donation that distinguishes itself from traditional methods rooted in cash compensation and icky practices. Our program helps provide everyone — both the person freezing and donating their eggs and the intended parent(s) — with autonomy to grow their family, whether that’s today, or maybe some time in the future.
Members of our Split program get to keep half of the eggs retrieved, plus:
- Free storage of their own eggs in cryopreservation for up to 10 years
- Coverage of all medical costs for the egg donation process
- Connection to the Cofertility community for support all along the way and after too
- The ability to work with the intended parents to decide together what your relationship will look like
If giving your eggs to intended parents sounds like something you would like to do, you may be able to qualify for the free egg freezing process and have your donation process covered too.
Take our quiz to see if you qualify for our Split program today!
We believe that every donor deserves to have a positive and empowering experience, and we are committed to making that a reality. That’s why Cofertility was named one of the Best Egg Donor Programs by Egg Donor Connect.
Why You Deserve an Egg Freezing Registry (And What to Put On It!)
The gift registry has been a cultural institution for pivotal life moment. These wish lists give friends and family an easy way to provide support that you actually want. But what if we took this concept and applied it to another life milestone that is also super exciting? This brings us to the idea of an egg freezing registry.
The gift registry has been a cultural institution for pivotal life moments — from the gilded spoons and Ninja blenders of wedding registries to the cute little onesies of baby shower lists. These wish lists give friends and family an easy way to provide support that you actually want.
But what if we took this concept and applied it to another life milestone that is also super exciting? This brings us to the idea of an egg freezing registry. Yes, you heard that right. An egg freezing registry.
On Sex and the City, after celebrating countless weddings and babies, Carrie Bradshaw famously took matters into her own hands and created her own registry in honor of her marriage to herself. Her registry had just one item — a pair of Manolo Blahnik shoes. Our take? If Carrie can celebrate herself, you can, too. Especially when you’re doing something so incredible for your future as freezing your eggs.
Why you deserve an egg freezing registry
You may be wondering, particularly in a society that still wrestles with norms surrounding reproductive choices, as to whether you “deserve” to have a registry for something as personal and medical as egg freezing. The answer is a resounding YES, and here’s why.
Normalizing reproductive autonomy
Creating a registry for egg freezing can help normalize the conversation around reproductive autonomy and shatter persisting taboos. Women have long been subject to societal pressures about when and how they should have children. The ability to crowdfund one’s egg freezing process (or at least get some goodies covered) is a bold statement of agency, positioning the egg freezer not as a subject of societal expectations but as an architect of her own life.
Creating a registry for egg freezing can help normalize the conversation around reproductive autonomy and shatter persisting taboos.
Solidifying social support
The explicit act of creating a registry — and having loved ones contribute to it — serves as a profound endorsement of your choices. The communal act of contributing to a registry can offer emotional sustenance and make sure you know that your community is invested in your well-being, present and future.
Lessening the financial load
Financial obstacles should not dictate reproductive choices. Just as registries for weddings or baby showers are widely accepted tools for “getting someone started” with the essentials, an egg freezing registry is a legitimate way to help offset some of the costs.
A reimagined social contract
Finally, having an egg freezing registry reinforces a modernized social contract. At its core, a registry is an agreement among a community that signifies its collective investment in a significant life event. Weddings are not just about the couple, and baby showers are not just about the parents; they are about a larger circle of family and friends who will interact with that couple or child and want to support and celebrate them. Similarly, an egg freezing registry proclaims that a woman's reproductive choices are worth communal support, thus redefining the very ethos of what our social contracts can include.
So, do you deserve to have an egg freezing registry? Absolutely. In doing so, you're not only giving yourself the gift of choice but also expanding the societal dialogue around what choice can and should look like.
What should I add to my egg freezing registry?
One of the most exciting possibilities of an egg freezing registry is the potential to ask for specific add-ons that could aid in your egg freezing journey. Here are some ideas:
- Nutritional supplements: Omega-3s, prenatal vitamins, and other supplements to prepare your body for your cycle.
- Heating pad: Useful for post-procedure comfort and relief from cramps.
- Fuzzy socks: These make the often-cold clinic rooms and stirrup-bound procedures markedly more comfortable.
- Chocolates/other treats: Emotional well-being is part and parcel of the egg freezing journey; indulgent treats can serve as small but potent morale boosters.
- Wellness packages: Sessions for acupuncture or fertility yoga, aimed at enhancing both emotional and physical well-being.
- Books and journals: Literature on reproductive health, fertility journeys, or self-reflective journals.
- Travel vouchers: For those who choose clinics far from home, these can cover transportation or even lodging costs.
- Food delivery/meal prep: Gift cards to services like Doordash, Uber Eats, HelloFresh, Goldbelly, can help keep you well fed during the egg freezing period.
- Bath bombs: For pre- or post-procedure relaxation, because a soothing bath can be a sanctuary in stressful times.
- Other relaxation aids: Consider adding aromatherapy oils, scented candles, or a premium-quality eye mask for deep relaxation.
You’ll want to diversify the options on your registry to make it easier for contributors to select gifts that align with their budget and your needs. These practical and comfort-focused gifts not only provide material relief but also serve as tokens of emotional support from your community.
Tips for hosting and sharing your egg freezing registry
So where could you host such a registry? Existing platforms could easily be adapted for this purpose. A few possibilities include:
- Amazon: Given its almost universal reach and diverse product range.
- Target: A favorite for baby shower registries, the leap to egg freezing isn't a big one.
- GoFundMe: Already a popular choice for medical crowdfunding, this platform could provide a natural fit if you just need cash.
- Meal Train: Makes it easy for friends and family to help feed you!
Spreading the word about your egg freezing registry
Creating the registry is the first half of the equation; sharing it with your network is the other, equally nuanced, half. The act of disseminating your egg freezing registry becomes not just an invitation for contributions but also an opening for dialogue, education, and emotional connection.
Much like sharing any significant life news, timing is pivotal. You may want to inform the closest people in your life individually before broadcasting it more broadly.
When you share your registry, include a personalized message explaining why you've chosen to freeze your eggs and how their support can be instrumental. This humanizes what might otherwise seem like a straightforward transaction, adding layers of meaning and context.
We recommend emphasizing that you appreciate any support or celebration and that there is zero pressure to contribute. There are multiple ways to show support, be it emotional or material. This may be especially helpful to include, as some recipients may be financially constrained or morally conflicted.
As your journey progresses, keeping your contributors updated adds an extra layer of engagement and acknowledgment. It’s an opportunity to show the impact of their support, which goes beyond monetary contributions and enters the realm of emotional sustenance.
Creating an egg freezing registry is more than a logistical step; it’s an emotional and sociocultural undertaking that can serve various roles: a litmus test for societal progress, a platform for dialogue, and an arena for collective emotional investment. Navigate it with the same sensitivity and thoughtfulness you applied when deciding to freeze your eggs in the first place, and you can open up spaces not just for communal contributions but for meaningful human connections as well.
Freeze your eggs with Cofertility
We’d love the opportunity to support you on your egg freezing journey.
Through our Split program, qualified freezers can freeze their eggs for free when donating half of the eggs retrieved to a family who can’t otherwise conceive.
Through our Keep program — where you keep 100% of eggs retrieved for your own future use — we offer exclusive discounts on expenses, such as frozen egg storage. Keep members also still gain free access to our Freeze by Co Community, a safe space for those engaging in the egg freezing process (or gearing up for it) to connect and lean on each other.
By making egg freezing easier and more accessible, our programs further strengthen the American Society of Reproductive Medicine (ASRM)’s Committee opinion that egg freezing can help promote social justice and strengthen gender equality.
How Rachel Liverman Crane Overcame Medical Anxiety to Freeze Her Eggs
Rachel Liverman Crane is the Founder & CEO of the East Coast skincare facial concept Glow Bar. She's also taken a bold step in her personal life by freezing her eggs — a journey made even more remarkable by overcoming medical anxiety, a common fear that affects many people facing medical procedures.
Rachel Liverman Crane is the Founder & CEO of the East Coast skincare facial concept Glow Bar. Yet, her dynamic life doesn't end with her professional achievements; she's also taken a bold step in her personal life by freezing her eggs — a journey made even more remarkable by overcoming medical anxiety, a common fear that affects many people facing medical procedures.
Medical anxiety is more than a fleeting concern; it's a genuine fear that can hinder individuals from pursuing necessary or elective medical treatments. In Rachel's case, it was a hurdle she had to conquer on her path to securing future family planning options.
Her journey reflects a blend of determination, pragmatism, and an unwavering belief in one's self, sending a strong message to others about the power of informed choices and the beauty of self-confidence. By bravely facing her fears, Rachel serves as an inspiration to others who may be on the fence about egg freezing. Whether it's expanding a skincare brand or planning for a future family, she navigates life with grace, wisdom, and a touch of humor, embodying the future's endless possibilities.
In a candid interview with us, Rachel shares this journey, opening up about her experience with egg freezing and how she overcame the anxiety that often accompanies medical decisions.
Deciding to freeze
At the age of 35, while single and deeply focused on growing her business, Rachel made the decision to freeze her eggs. Recognizing that she wouldn't be having children in the immediate future, she saw this as a way to retain her focus on her career without the looming pressure of biological timing. "I figured I would freeze my eggs so my focus could remain on my career and not have the pressure of having kids feel so strong."
The process resulted in a "lucky dozen" of 12 eggs, with nine being frozen. Her AMH was 1.81, and she candidly shares her experience, describing herself as an "open book."
Embracing the process even with medical anxiety
When asked what she was most nervous about, Rachel replied, “The shots, the blood draws every morning, the anesthesia, the IV, the recovery — I worried about it all!”
“But in the end”, she says, “it was so simple and my doctor and his team took such great care of me the entire way.”
Having seen friends go through it, she knew what to expect, although the physical discomfort and bloating after retrieval did surprise her. “The thing that surprised me the most was how bloated and uncomfortable that would feel after the retrieval process.”
What stands out, however, is the empowerment and strength she felt after going through this elective procedure, particularly given her medical anxiety. "I was really proud of myself for doing something that scared me for my future self!"
Rachel, we’re proud of you too!
Facing the hard parts head-on
The journey wasn't without its challenges. The financial burden was a difficult aspect for her. As a startup founder, making such a significant investment had a real impact. Still, the sacrifice was worth it, even if it meant missing events like close friends' weddings abroad. "I don't have any regrets," she asserts.
Read more about paying for egg freezing:
Choosing Dr. Joshua Stewart at Dr. Joshua Stewart at Cornell for the procedure, she feels the decision has had a profoundly positive effect on her professional life. It allowed her to prioritize her career, team, and business without sacrificing personal aspirations.
Looking back and looking ahead
Looking back, the only thing she might have done differently is to take supplements or seek acupuncture to support her eggs. Yet, she considers the freezing of her eggs as part of her journey, jokingly referring to them as her "insurance plan" and the possibility of thawing these "cuties" to make babies if and when needed.
Rachel says that her relationships and dating life remained unaffected. Freezing her eggs just became "another part of me," not altering her approach to dating or personal relationships.
Advice for others
Her advice for others considering this path is wise and considerate. She urges people to talk to others who have undergone the process, ask questions, advocate for themselves, and not to push themselves if it doesn't feel right.
"Don't feel pressure to do this if it doesn't feel right for you. It's a serious and expensive procedure, so make sure that this is something that you really care about and feel is right for you and where you are today.” We couldn’t agree more!
Can I Freeze My Eggs if I Have HPV?
While it’s true that some STIs can lead to infertility, there’s no need to freak out in the case of HPV. HPV on its own shouldn’t affect your ability to conceive. However, because HPV is often asymptomatic, it’s also one of the least treated STIs. Most of the time, that isn’t a big deal. But depending on the type of HPV someone has, there can be an increased risk of developing cancer or precancerous cells on the cervix, which do require treatment. The treatments to remove these abnormal cervical cells can, in turn, affect fertility—this is when discussing fertility if you have HPV becomes really important so let’s talk about it.
The human papillomavirus (HPV) is the most common sexually transmitted infection (STI) in the United States. In fact, according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), HPV is so common that “nearly all sexually active men and women get the virus at some point in their lives.” With at least 150 types of HPVs that we know of, it’s no wonder that 79 million Americans have at least one type. But fear not!
While it’s true that some STIs can lead to infertility, there’s no need to freak out in the case of HPV. HPV on its own shouldn’t affect your ability to conceive. However, because HPV is often asymptomatic (meaning there aren’t any obvious signs or symptoms), it’s also one of the least treated STIs. Most of the time, that isn’t a big deal. But depending on the type of HPV someone has, there can be an increased risk of developing cancer or precancerous cells on the cervix, which do require treatment. The treatments to remove these abnormal cervical cells can, in turn, affect fertility—this is when discussing fertility if you have HPV becomes really important so let’s talk about it.
What is HPV and what causes it?
We’re gonna back up for a second here and explain the basics of HPV. HPV is actually an umbrella term for a group of over 200 related viral infections that affect the outer skin layers of the genitals, mouth, hands and feet. So, while transmission can happen without sexual intercourse, the vast majority of HPV infections are the result of unprotected sex.
In these cases, you can get HPV by having vaginal, anal, or oral sex with someone who has the virus but it’s most commonly spread during vaginal or anal sex. It also spreads through close skin-to-skin touching during sex. A person with HPV can pass the infection to someone even when they have no signs or symptoms.
Because of this, if you’re sexually active at all, you can get HPV—even if you’ve had sex with only one person. You can also develop symptoms years after having sex with someone who has the infection. This is why doctors usually can’t tell you when you might have gotten it.
Types of HPV and treatments
Of the many types of HPV, only some are of actual concern and could therefore affect fertility, either due to the virus itself or the treatments used to manage it. Low-risk HPVs mostly cause no disease and typically go away on their own within 2-3 years. However, a few low-risk HPV types can cause warts on or around the genitals, anus, mouth, or throat. High-risk HPVs can cause several types of cancer. There are about 14 high-risk HPV types including HPV 16, 18, 31, 33, 35, 39, 45, 51, 52, 56, 58, 59, 66, and 68. Two of these, HPV16 and HPV18, are responsible for most HPV-related cancers.
As mentioned earlier, most HPV infections don’t cause cancer. Your immune system is usually able to control HPV infections so they don’t progress to cancer. However, high-risk HPV infections are more likely to persist and can eventually cause cervical cancer. In these cases, the immune system is not able to control the HPV infection and as the high-risk HPV infection lingers for many years, it can lead to abnormal cell changes that, if untreated, may worsen over time and become cancer.
If your doctor decides that they need to remove abnormal cells, they’ll use one of the following treatments:
- cryotherapy, or freezing and eliminating the abnormal tissue
- a cone biopsy (conization) to remove part of the cervix
- a loop electrosurgical excision procedure (LEEP), which involves removing cells with a wire loop that has an electrical charge
We’ll talk more about how these procedures can affect your fertility later on.
How does HPV impact fertility?
While most HPV infections clear up on their own (and rarely make themselves known through noticeable symptoms), the infections that persist can have a negative impact on fertility for all genders—either due to the infection itself or the treatments used.
Fertility risks associated with HPV include:
- Damage to the cervix via HPV itself or the treatment used to remove affected tissue from the cervix
- Decreased ovarian reserve
- Damage to sperm or parts of the male reproductive system
HPV and cervical function
First and foremost, HPV can damage the cervix directly over time if left untreated. This is why it’s so important to get those annual exams and routine pap smears with HPV testing! Most of the time, testing is the only way to know for certain whether a person has HPV or not. Once HPV has persisted for a long time or is getting more severe, it’s time to remove abnormal cells with one of the procedures mentioned earlier–cryotherapy, cone biopsy, or a LEEP. These procedures can most notably affect your ability to reach full term in a future pregnancy but this depends on several factors including how large and deep the area to be treated is.
In all cases, cell removal can change your body’s cervical mucus production. The procedures may also cause stenosis, or a narrowing of the opening of the cervix. This can slow down sperm and make it harder for an egg to get fertilized. Cones and LEEPs can also cause the cervix to weaken. While this won’t cause infertility or difficulty getting pregnant, it can lead to cervical insufficiency, which can cause your cervix to painlessly open and thin before your pregnancy has made it to term, and lead to a preterm delivery.
HPV and ovarian reserve
There have been several interesting studies about HPV and ovarian function but overall the literature is a bit of a mixed bag. Overall, research has suggested that HPV infection may be associated with a higher rate of spontaneous loss or underdevelopment when undergoing IVF. One study that compared HPV positive and HPV negative people found that a decreased ovarian reserve was more common in the HPV positive over the HPV negative group. Another study looked at HPV positive and HPV negative people undergoing IVF and their response to stimulation. No significant difference was seen in the responsiveness to controlled ovarian stimulation in terms of the number and maturity of retrieved eggs or in terms of fertilization rates. Finally, a recent study published this year showed no effect on live birth rates when comparing people with and without HPV.
HPV and its effects on male partners
Several studies have shown a link between HPV and decreased fertility for male partners. In particular, sperm containing HPV has been shown to negatively contribute to both male and couple infertility. One study done in 2011 found that men who had HPV were more likely to have an impairment of certain sperm parameters, like motility. This was confirmed in another study done in 2015. On top of that, if sperm containing HPV fertilizes an egg, there may be an increased risk of early miscarriage.
Can I freeze my eggs if I have HPV?
The good news with all of this is that an HPV diagnosis alone should not affect your ability to get pregnant or to freeze your eggs. Most fertility specialists will require an up to date pap smear and HPV test as part of their evaluation and you’ll usually be allowed to continue with the freezing process as long as the HPV is low-risk, since those cases are expected to clear on their own.
If you do have a high-risk HPV, you’ll need to discuss those results with both your OB/GYN and your fertility doctor to figure out what next step is right for you. Depending on the specific HPV strain, if there are any lesions and how advanced they are, your doctor will recommend continuing with egg freezing or delaying until after treatment.
If there are precancerous cells in the cervix, minor treatment through cryosurgery or LEEP will be necessary and this is almost always recommended before trying to get pregnant or undergoing any other fertility treatments, including egg freezing or IVF. For the most part, these procedures don’t affect reproductive potential though and most people go on to have healthy pregnancies once they’ve recovered.
Risks and benefits of egg freezing with HPV
The main risk of freezing with HPV is the concern for a lower yield and the quality of eggs retrieved. As mentioned before, some studies have shown that HPV does have an effect on ovarian reserve but others have shown little to no differences in IVF outcomes. There are also so many additional factors that affect a person’s fertility. Your provider is going to be the best person to tell you whether your case warrants clearing the HPV before moving ahead with egg freezing. The benefit of egg freezing with HPV is that you’re taking a proactive step to preserve your future fertility. Whether your HPV is low- or high-risk, whether you require treatment or not, you’ll know you’ve safeguarded your options.
Can I donate eggs if I have HPV?
The donor egg screening process will vary somewhat from clinic to clinic but here at Cofertility, our goal is to be as clear as possible about what this involves. All potential donors will be assessed in terms of their age, AMH levels, medical and family history, psychological and physical health. Making sure your pap smear and HPV testing are up to date is included in this process.
HPV won’t automatically disqualify you from becoming an egg donor since it’s not transmittable through your eggs. However, as mentioned before, this will depend on which HPV type, whether it’s low or high-risk, and whether there are any precancerous or cancerous lesions found during the screening process. For a full list of disqualifications for egg donation through Cofertility, click here.
Conclusion
The takeaway from all of this at the end of the day is that preventive care is king! Protecting yourself from HPV by getting vaccinated and making sure to get your pap smears on time can not only decrease your cervical cancer risk (which is a pretty good reason all on its own) but it can also lower your risk for preventable pregnancy or fertility concerns down the road.
While there’s still more research to be done on the effects of HPV on fertility in all genders, it can safely be said that discussing HPV and fertility with your healthcare providers should be at the top of your list. This is especially true if you have HPV and end up requiring more invasive management—your providers can help you make a plan about your fertility future before any treatments begin.
Egg freezing and HPV can be confusing individually so you’re not alone when it comes to questions and concerns around both topics and how they affect each other. Freeze by Co is here to help you every step of the way. With our Split program, people between 21 to 33 years old have the chance to freeze their eggs for free! After a “Split” cycle, you would donate half of the eggs retrieved to a family that’s trying to conceive and freeze the remaining half for yourself.
If you’re over 34 or not interested in donating half the eggs retrieved, you can still participate in the Keep program up to age 40. You would be able to freeze your eggs and keep them all for yourself, on your timeline while having access to an additional valuable resource in our support community. Our private, online community allows you to engage with other people freezing their eggs at the exact same time!
Regardless of which path you choose, our Freeze by Co team and medical experts will be there to guide you through the process as we work to keep your family-building options on the table.
Want to Donate Your Eggs? Tips on Talking It Over with Your Partner
If your partner is unfamiliar with the egg donation process, they may have numerous questions and concerns. Some of the most common questions revolve around the medical risks involved, potential contact with the intended parents (IPs), and the timeline of the whole process. Here's a guide to help you address these concerns.
Donating your eggs is an extraordinarily generous act. As an egg donor, you have the potential to help a family struggling with infertility or a same-sex couple realize their dreams of parenthood. But the decision to donate eggs is not one to be taken lightly, and it's natural to want the support and understanding of your family as you embark on this journey.
If your partner is unfamiliar with the egg donation process, they may have numerous questions and concerns. Some of the most common questions revolve around the medical risks involved, potential contact with the intended parents (IPs), and the timeline of the whole process. Here's a guide to help you address these concerns.
Should I tell my partner/boyfriend/spouse I want to donate my eggs?
While it is absolutely within your right to keep this information private, there are considerations that might sway you toward opening up about it.
First, it may be hard to hide. The egg donation process involves medical appointments, injections, and potentially some down time after the egg retrieval. It could become difficult to keep these aspects concealed, especially if you and your partner share many aspects of daily life. From a practical standpoint, hiding the process may add unnecessary stress or complications.
Second, you might want their support. Sharing the decision with your partner can foster open communication and enable emotional support throughout the process. It provides an opportunity for your partner to understand your motivations and to be part of the experience, even if only as a listener or a helping hand.
Your partner's reaction to this decision might also provide valuable insights into the relationship's dynamics. If the response is dismissive, excessively critical, or unsupportive, it may be a red flag that prompts further reflection on compatibility and shared values. Conversely, a supportive partner's response can strengthen the relationship, building deeper trust and empathy.
While there is no right answer, one thing is for certain, your decision to donate is yours and yours alone, and so is your decision to tell them… or not. This means you are the one who can best make this decision.
Read more in: Should I Tell People I'm Donating My Eggs?
Common questions partners may have
What is the medical risk?
Egg freezing is considered a safe procedure. In a single egg freezing cycle, the risk of a serious adverse event is under 2.5%. Severe OHSS accounts for the majority of complications, occurring in 0.1-2% of cycles. The risk of other acute complications, including pelvic infection, intraperitoneal hemorrhage, or ovarian torsion, is small (<0.5%). That being said, many women do experience minor side effects – like bloating, constipation, nausea – from the medications and egg retrieval. Side effects are typically mild and short-lived.
Egg donation requires a series of hormone injections to stimulate the ovaries into producing multiple eggs during a single cycle. You can assure your partner that these medications are prescribed under the careful supervision of a fertility doctor.
The egg retrieval process itself is a minor surgical procedure done under sedation, so you won't feel anything during the procedure. Post-procedure discomfort is typically minimal and can be managed with over-the-counter pain relievers.
You can remind your partner that all steps of this process are carefully monitored by experienced, board-certified fertility doctors who prioritize your health and safety above all.
Will you be freezing eggs or embryos and why?
If you’re in a relationship with a biologically male partner, they may be wondering if you are going to freeze embryos or eggs.
While it’s true that thawing success rates can be slightly higher for embryos than eggs (at a 95% survival rate vs 90% for eggs), the downside is that once an egg is fertilized with sperm, there’s no going back, so freezing eggs instead of embryos will give you more options down the line.
We know, this might be a little bit of an awkward one to bring up with your partner, but it might come up at some point, so the best you can do is be prepared with the facts.
Read more in:
Will egg donation impact your ability to have kids in the future?
Egg donation, which is the same medical procedure as egg freezing, won’t lower your egg reserve and it won’t affect your chances of getting pregnant naturally when you’re ready to do so.
In fact, participating in our Split program – where you freeze your eggs for free when donating half to another family – can actually increase your chances of having a baby down the line because you are preserving younger eggs.
Who are the parents that need donor eggs?
Many types of families need egg donors to grow their family, including people facing infertility, LGBTQ+ couples, cancer survivors, women with age-related fertility decline, and more.
Sharing more about the family you are matched with can help humanize the experience.
What will your relationship be like with the intended parents?
The level of contact with the intended parents is highly dependent on the agreement you reach beforehand. Some arrangements are undisclosed, with no information exchanged between you and the IPs. Other arrangements are disclosed, allowing varying degrees of communication and contact, such as the exchange of letters or even face-to-face meetings.
Your choice about the type of relationship you wish to have with the IPs is up to you, and you should assure your partner that you will make the choice that feels right.
Does this mean our future kids will have siblings out there?
Technically speaking, children born from your donated eggs would share a genetic link with you, as well as with any of your existing biological relatives. However, neither you nor your partner would have any legal or parental ties to these children.
A sentiment eloquently expressed by one of our egg donors to her boyfriend captures this nuance: “I view egg donation as an act of helping others realize their family dreams. The children born from my eggs will belong to their own families, not ours. While the connection may be biological, it isn't familial."
What are the legal implications?
Understanding the legal rights and obligations associated with egg donation is important. You can let your partner know that before the egg donation process begins, you will sign a legal contract that outlines the rights and obligations of all parties involved. This includes an agreement to relinquish all parental rights to any children born from the donated eggs.
How does Cofertility work?
Cofertility’s Split program offers women a chance to both freeze their own eggs and donate half the eggs to a family who cannot conceive otherwise. Every expense associated with the egg freezing procedure — medications, supplements, travel if necessary, insurance, and 10 years of storage — are completely free of charge.
Cofertility assigns a Member Advocate to each donor to support her throughout the entire journey. They’ll be there every step of the way as appointments get scheduled and plans for the cycle are made. No question is too small for Cofertility’s Member Advocate team. Plus, Split members have support of our entire community of others going through the same process.
How much time will it take?
The timeline can vary depending on several factors, including your menstrual cycle and the matching process with intended parents. The process begins with an application, followed by a screening process, which can take several weeks.
Once approved and matched with the IPs, you'll start the ovarian stimulation process, which takes about two weeks. This involves daily hormone injections to stimulate the ovaries. The egg retrieval procedure is scheduled once the eggs are mature, typically after 10-14 days of stimulation. Following the retrieval, you will have a brief recovery period, usually a day or two, to allow any minor discomfort or side effects to dissipate. You will know immediately how many eggs were retrieved and frozen for your own future use.
In total, from match to retrieval, the process can take anywhere from two to four months.
Will you get enough eggs to use in the future?
Being part of Cofertility’s program means you passed rigorous medical screening, including AMH and antral follicle count, and that our medical team and the doctor performing the egg retrieval believe you are a good candidate for egg sharing. This doesn’t guarantee that you will get a lot of eggs, but it is pretty predictable.
Furthermore, a UK study of egg sharing amongst IVF patients found that participating in an egg sharing program did not compromise the chance of achieving a pregnancy or live birth for the egg sharer or the recipient.
Summing it up
Your partner’s concerns and questions about your decision to become an egg donor are understandable. They want to ensure your safety and wellbeing, and these are valid concerns.
As you discuss the process, remind them of your reasons for making this choice and assure them of your commitment to understanding and minimizing the risks involved. Encourage them to accompany you to a medical consultation if possible, to provide them an opportunity to hear information directly from professionals, and to ask any questions they may have.
Your act of egg donation could bring immense joy to a family longing for a child. It's a beautiful decision, and having your partner’s understanding and support will undoubtedly make the journey even sweeter.
Read more:
Decoding the Lexicon of Egg Donation: A Guide for Egg Donors on the Continuum of Disclosure
Understand the various terms used within the realm of egg donation, and pros and cons of each type of disclosure status.
At Cofertility, we pride ourselves on guiding our members through the journey of egg donation, ensuring a supportive, transparent, and ethical process for all parties involved. One aspect of this process involves helping our members understand the various terms used within the realm of egg donation, and pros and cons of each type of disclosure status.
Each relationship is unique and depends on both the desires of you and family, as well as what’s best for any future donor conceived children.
This guide is meant to aid you in making informed decisions that align with your personal beliefs, comfort level, and the best interest of any potential donor conceived children.
Let’s dive into the terms:
- Anonymous egg donor: an outdated term used to describe someone whose identity is not shared with the family. In today’s age of social media and genetic testing, we think “anonymous” is a misnomer.
- Non-anonymous egg donor: an outdated term used to describe when an egg donor and intended parents have each other’s contact information.
- Known egg donor: usually used to describe an egg donor who knows the intended parents, like a family member or friend.
- Unknown egg donor: an egg donor that does not know the intended parents, and vice versa.
- Disclosed donation: the intended parents and egg donor exchange contact information and communicate directly. This does not mean they have an ongoing relationship, just that they have the names of one another.
- Undisclosed donation: the intended parents and egg donor do not exchange contact information.
- Open ID: the intended parents and egg donor do not exchange contact information, but the egg donor agrees to have her identity disclosed to the child born from her donation once the child reaches a certain age, typically at 18 years.
- Identity-release: another term for open ID.
The fallacy of the "anonymous" egg donor
Back in the day, egg donations were often declared "anonymous," meaning the identities of the egg donor and the intended parents were kept secret from each other. However, the concept of total anonymity seems antiquated in an era of advanced genetic testing and omnipresent social media. So, if someone promises you complete anonymity, treat that claim with skepticism.
Read more about why we don’t believe in anonymous egg donation.
Disclosed and undisclosed egg donation
Disclosed and undisclosed are the terms we prefer to use at Cofertility to describe the two types of disclosure agreements possible.
In a disclosed donation with Cofertility, you and the family will exchange contact information and can communicate directly. We highly encourage this model as it promotes transparency and aligns with feedback from donor-conceived community.
In an undisclosed donation, you do not exchange contact information and only communicate via Cofertility. Although we recommend disclosed donations, we respect the individual's choice for undisclosed donation after understanding the potential implications for donor-conceived child.
Regardless of your donation disclosure status being disclosed or undisclosed, you may choose to meet the family during the matching period without exchanging contact information.
The scope and degree of communication in a disclosed donation (both during and post-match) is what both parties make of it and can be outlined in your legal agreement. Communication can range from sharing an annual holiday card to direct, regular communication between you and the family.
Your disclosure status does not necessarily dictate the relationship with the family or child. For instance, you may opt for a disclosed donation, where you share contact information, but decide against maintaining regular communication.
Undisclosed egg donation with Open ID
For those who choose an undisclosed donation, open ID (sometimes called identity release) is an option. This model allows any child resulting from the donation to receive your contact information once they reach a certain age, typically 18 years.
This option safeguards the child’s right to learn about their genetic history, should they wish to. The open ID agreement is often structured based on the comfort and consent of all parties involved and takes into consideration the best interest of the donor conceived child.
Disclosed egg donation arrangement has varying degrees of interaction
Here are a couple of questions you might consider asking yourself in defining your preferences for a disclosed donation:
- How do I feel about the possibility of the intended parent’s future child reaching out to me when they turn 18 or another age?
- Do I envision myself forming a lasting connection with the intended parents and their child, or am I more comfortable with a limited interaction?
- Am I open to receiving or sharing updates, and if so, what frequency feels right to me?
- What boundaries or personal limits do I want to establish regarding communication and relationship with the intended parents vs. their child?
- Can I envision scenarios where my level of involvement might change over time?
You don’t have to have all of the answers. It is only natural that your needs and preferences will evolve with time. To help you gauge your current preferences, consider the following scenarios illustrating a disclosed donation at various degrees of engagement.
Lower engagement scenarios:
- Medical updates only: You are comfortable with exchanging contact information but agree with the intended parents not to send or receive any social updates. The intended parents can reach out directly with any medical/health questions, and you agree to inform the family of any new medical information that arises.
- Occasional updates: You and the intended parents agree to exchange occasional updates through email, letters, or text. An example of this is receiving an annual holiday card. This approach maintains a sense of connection without imposing an ongoing commitment.
Moderate engagement scenarios:
- Virtual check-ins: You and the intended parents opt for occasional video calls, perhaps once or twice a year. This allows for more personal interaction and a chance to see the child's growth, fostering a stronger bond while keeping the relationship primarily digital.
- Scheduled visits: You and the intended parents might agree to an in-person visit, perhaps once every few years, providing an opportunity for face-to-face interaction.
Higher engagement scenarios are rare, and generally occur between donors and families with a pre-existing relationship. That being said, in some cases, if you (and the parents) want more involvement, it is possible.
The power of choice: respecting cultural preferences & unique circumstances
While we advocate for disclosed or undisclosed open ID donations, we respect the cultural needs and unique circumstances of those who prefer undisclosed donations. At Cofertility, we strive to connect egg donors with research and experts, aiding in informed decision-making, and respecting cultural considerations.
Understanding these terms and the principles behind them can make your journey through egg donation smoother and more transparent. We are here to support and guide you, ensuring a process that honors all parties involved.
Learn more about becoming an egg donor:
How to Talk to Your Family About Donating Your Eggs
If your family is unfamiliar with the egg donation process, they may have numerous questions and concerns. Some of the most common questions revolve around the medical risks involved, potential contact with the intended parents (IPs), and the timeline of the whole process. Here's a guide to help you address these concerns.
Donating your eggs is an extraordinarily generous act. As an egg donor, you have the potential to help a family struggling with infertility or a same-sex couple realize their dreams of parenthood. But the decision to donate eggs is not one to be taken lightly, and it's natural to want the support and understanding of your family as you embark on this journey.
If your family is unfamiliar with the egg donation process, they may have numerous questions and concerns. Some of the most common questions revolve around the medical risks involved, potential contact with the intended parents (IPs), and the timeline of the whole process. Here's a guide to help you address these concerns.
Should I tell my family I’m an egg donor?
While there is no right answer, one thing is for certain, your decision to donate is yours and yours alone, and so is your decision to tell them… or not. This means you are the one who can best make this decision.
So when thinking through this decision, it is helpful to think about the relationships you have and what you feel comfortable telling those close to you. How supportive will they be about your decision? Do you feel afraid they might criticize you or not understand why you would want to do this, or try and talk you out of it? What is your fear or concern about telling, and how do you think this information will impact your relationships?
Read more in Should I Tell People I'm Donating My Eggs?
Common questions family members may have
What is the medical risk?
Egg freezing is considered a safe procedure. In a single egg freezing cycle, the risk of a serious adverse event is under 2.5%. Severe OHSS accounts for the majority of complications, occuring in 0.1-2% of cycles. The risk of other acute complications, including pelvic infection, intraperitoneal hemorrhage, or ovarian torsion, is small (<0.5%). That being said, many women do experience minor side effects – like bloating, constipation, nausea – from the medications and egg retrieval. Side effects are typically mild and short-lived.
Egg donation requires a series of hormone injections to stimulate the ovaries into producing multiple eggs during a single cycle. You can assure your family that these medications are prescribed under the careful supervision of a fertility doctor.
The egg retrieval process itself is a minor surgical procedure done under sedation, so you won't feel anything during the procedure. Post-procedure discomfort is typically minimal and can be managed with over-the-counter pain relievers.
You can remind your family that all steps of this process are carefully monitored by experienced fertility doctors who prioritize your health and safety above all.
Will egg donation impact your ability to have kids in the future?
Egg donation, which is the same medical procedure as egg freezing, won’t lower your egg reserve and it won’t affect your chances of getting pregnant naturally when you’re ready to do so. In fact, participating in our Split program – where you freeze your eggs for free when donating half to another family – can actually increase your chances of having a baby down the line because you are preserving younger eggs.
Who are the parents that need donor eggs?
Many types of families need egg donors to grow their family, including people facing infertility, LGBTQ+ couples, cancer survivors, women with age-related fertility decline, and more.
Sharing more about the family you are matched with can help humanize the experience.
What will your relationship be like with the intended parents?
The level of contact with the intended parents is highly dependent on the agreement you reach beforehand. Some arrangements are undisclosed, with no information exchanged between you and the IPs. Other arrangements are disclosed, allowing varying degrees of communication and contact, such as the exchange of letters or even face-to-face meetings.
Your choice about the type of relationship you wish to have with the IPs is up to you, and you should assure your family that you will make the choice that feels right.
What are the legal implications?
Understanding the legal rights and obligations associated with egg donation is important. You can let your family know that before the egg donation process begins, you will sign a legal contract that outlines the rights and obligations of all parties involved. This includes an agreement to relinquish all parental rights to any children born from the donated eggs.
All donors are given independent legal representation – at no expense – to explain the contract and ensure all your interests are protected.
How does Cofertility work?
Cofertility’s Split program offers women a chance to both freeze their own eggs and donate half the eggs to a family who cannot conceive otherwise. Every expense associated with the egg freezing procedure — medications, supplements, travel if necessary, insurance, and 10 years of storage — are completely free of charge.
Cofertility assigns a Member Advocate to each donor to support her throughout the entire journey. They’ll be there every step of the way as appointments get scheduled and plans for the cycle are made. No question is too small for Cofertility’s Member Advocate team. Plus, Split members have support of our entire community of others going through the same process.
How many babies are born via egg donation each year?
The exact number of babies born via egg donation each year can be difficult to determine due to variations in reporting standards worldwide. However, according to data from the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), about 12% of all in vitro fertilization (IVF) procedures in the United States involve the use of donor eggs. This suggests that thousands of babies are born each year thanks to egg donation.
How much time will it take?
Egg donation isn't a quick process, but the timeline can vary depending on several factors, including your menstrual cycle and the matching process with intended parents. The process begins with an application, followed by a screening process, which can take several weeks.
Once approved and matched with the IPs, you'll start the ovarian stimulation process, which takes about two weeks. This involves daily hormone injections to stimulate the ovaries. The egg retrieval procedure is scheduled once the eggs are mature, typically after 10-14 days of stimulation. Following the retrieval, you will have a brief recovery period, usually a day or two, to allow any minor discomfort or side effects to dissipate. You will know immediately how many eggs were retrieved and frozen for your own future use.
In total, from match to recovery, the process can take anywhere from two to four months.
Final thoughts
Your family's concerns and questions about your decision to become an egg donor are understandable. They want to ensure your safety and wellbeing, and these are valid concerns.
As you discuss the process, remind them of your reasons for making this choice and assure them of your commitment to understanding and minimizing the risks involved. Encourage them to accompany you to a medical consultation if possible, to provide them an opportunity to hear information directly from professionals, and to ask any questions they may have.
Your act of egg donation could bring immense joy to a couple longing for a child. It's a profound decision, and having your family's understanding and support will undoubtedly make the journey smoother.
Weight Gain During Egg Freezing: Fact or Fiction?
Through a comprehensive exploration of the egg freezing process, hormonal shifts, medications, and lifestyle aspects, we’re here to set the record straight about weight gain and egg freezing.
One of the most commonly asked questions we hear from people considering freezing their eggs is if they’ll gain weight during the process. Hey, we get it — it’s a fair question, and while there have been tons of advancements in the egg freezing process, there’s still lots of misinformation out there about it all. Through a comprehensive exploration of the egg freezing process, hormonal shifts, medications, and lifestyle aspects, we’re here to set the record straight about weight gain and egg freezing.
A closer look at the egg freezing process
Before we jump into potential weight implications of the egg freezing process, it’s essential to understand what that process actually entails. Egg freezing revolves around controlled ovarian stimulation, which basically means taking daily hormonal medications for about 10-12 days to stimulate your ovaries to produce more eggs than usual in a single cycle. Right before you ovulate, when those eggs are at peak maturity, a reproductive endocrinologist will retrieve those eggs while you’re under anesthesia.
In egg freezing, mature eggs are collected, frozen, and stored for your own potential future use, whereas in egg donation, the retrieved eggs are contributed to assist those who need help from an egg donor to grow their family — including gay dads, those with infertility, cancer survivors, and more. Whether you’re freezing your eggs, donating them, or both via our Split program (where you freeze for free when donating half), the stimulation process may cause concerns about potential weight changes due to hormonal shifts and medications. If this is you, you’re in the right place, and we’ll explain it all.
Dispelling weight-related myths: the what and the why
While scientific studies about this subject are limited, most fertility doctors say that, while some weight gain can be a side effect during the egg freezing process, it is unlikely for noticeable weight gain to persist beyond the retrieval cycle. It’s possible to experience slight weight fluctuations during the retrieval cycle, but these changes are typically attributed to factors like temporary fluid retention and abdominal bloating rather than significant fat accumulation.
Not everyone experiences weight change during the egg freezing process (you could actually lose weight if you’re stressed about the experience for one reason or another and don’t have an appetite), but for those who do, it is not usually substantial or enduring.
Egg freezing medications
Some of the medications involved in your egg freezing protocol can also play a role in minor weight changes. The controlled ovarian stimulation process involves the administration of hormonal medications, primarily follicle-stimulating hormone (FSH), and luteinizing hormone (LH). These medications are crucial for encouraging your ovaries to develop more mature eggs during that cycle. But because these medications can influence appetite and metabolism regulation, this could lead to small weight fluctuations.
Once you stop taking these medications, any fluctuations resulting from temporary fluid retention will likely dissipate, and these effects are generally transient.
Lifestyle factors and their impact
Beyond medications, lifestyle factors also play a role in potential weight fluctuations during an egg freezing cycle. But regardless of your weight, we want you to feel your best throughout your egg freezing cycle.
Nourishing your wellbeing
Egg freezing or not, a well-balanced diet rich in nutrients supports your body's overall functioning. Incorporating whole foods, lean proteins, whole grains, fruits, and vegetables fosters a sense of wellbeing and provides energy throughout the egg freezing process. But in addition to helping you feel good, eating a balanced diet may have a positive impact upon your egg freezing cycle itself. And certain foods rich in specific nutrients may actually impact your egg quality.
For more on what to eat if you’re freezing your eggs, click here.
Rest and stress management
Ensuring adequate rest is vital during the egg freezing journey. Your egg freezing medications may influence your energy levels, underscoring the importance of listening to your body's cues. Stress can also influence weight fluctuations (in either direction), making stress management an essential aspect of wellbeing during the egg freezing process.
Prioritizing rest allows your body to recover, and if you’re trying to maintain a stable weight, it can help support that. Our recommendation? Block off some time, load up on shows to watch, plan some cozy nights, and take egg freezing as an excuse to just chill (if you can). Your egg freezing cycle might also be the perfect time to finally download that meditation app you’ve been planning to try.
Egg freezing and BMI
While we’re on the subject of weight gain and egg freezing, you may be wondering if your weight itself plays a role in predicting your cycle outcomes. There’s a lot of conflicting research out there about this, but when it comes to egg donation in particular, fertility clinics often do have BMI limitations in place. For egg freezing, you may be subject to similar BMI requirements as set out by clinic partners, but it is typically more flexible than if you are donating eggs to another family.
The more you know
To sum it up — yes, sometimes people gain a little weight during the egg freezing process (and other times they lose a little weight). But it’s usually not a noticeable change given how the egg freezing cycle lasts under two weeks. If you have specific concerns related to weight gain during egg freezing, we encourage you to consult with your fertility doctor who can provide personalized guidance based on your weight and health history.
As you think through your options, we encourage you to explore our quiz to see which of our accessible egg freezing programs you may qualify for.
With our Split program, members who qualify based on clinic criteria can freeze their eggs entirely for free when they donate half to a family that can’t otherwise conceive.
Through our Keep program, members self-fund their egg freezing journey and keep the entire egg yield for themselves, with discounts and support from our team every step of the way.
With both programs, members also get exclusive access to our members-only community, where they can connect with others going through the egg freezing and donation processes at the same time and lean on each other for support and encouragement.
To see which programs you qualify for and start your journey today, click the link below to take our free, two-minute quiz.
How to Support Your Partner Through the Cofertility Split Program
If you are part of Cofertility’s Split Program, or even donating your eggs elsewhere, this is a helpful guide to share with your partner.
If you are part of Cofertility’s Split Program, or even donating your eggs elsewhere, this is a helpful guide to share with your partner.
At Cofertility, we are on a mission to support individuals and families across different phases of the fertility journey. Our work transcends the boundaries of traditional fertility care, forging connections that breathe life into the dreams of thousands of families, both today and the future.
Through our unique Split Program, we've had the privilege of working with many egg freezers and donors, and know the experience varies widely. We've witnessed joy, apprehension, hope, and triumph, and we've come to recognize that the process of egg sharing is multifaceted and profound. Our journey with these remarkable individuals has not only exposed us to the wide spectrum of emotions and decisions, but has also underscored the indispensable role of a robust support system throughout the journey.
Becoming an egg donor presents a multitude of emotional, physical, and ethical considerations. How, then, can friends, family, or significant others support a Split member during this journey?
In the following guide, we hope to share the insights we've gathered, offering a pathway for those seeking to support a loved one through this journey.
Understand the process
It’s helpful for you to understand the logistical and medical process your partner or loved one is going through. Here are a few guides to get up to speed:
- What's the Egg Retrieval Process Like?
- Everything You Need To Know About Egg Freezing Medication
- The Ultimate Guide to the Split Program
- Disclosed vs. Undisclosed Egg Donation: How Should I Choose?
- What are the Side Effects and Risks of Egg Freezing?
Offer assistance
The Split members' journey with egg freezing will require numerous medical appointments for ultrasounds and bloodwork. Your presence at these appointments can provide a reassuring sense of companionship.
But the most important task is being their reliable ride home from the egg retrieval procedure (in fact, it’s required that they do not drive after this procedure). This might be a clinic near home or you may be asked to travel with your partner to a clinic near the intended parents (if this is the case, travel expenses for both of you will be covered).
Once they get home, ensuring they have the things they need to be comfortable—whether it's a favorite blanket, soothing tea, or just your comforting presence—can make a significant difference in their experience. These thoughtful actions underscore the human connection at the heart of this medical process, turning what could be a solitary journey into a shared experience of empathy and care.
Egg freezing is considered a safe procedure, and complications are rare. But you should know the red flags. If you notice any of the symptoms below, report them to the healthcare provider asap:
- Temperature above 101 F
- Severe abdominal pain or swelling
- Severe nausea or vomiting that doesn’t go away
- Heavy vaginal bleeding (soaking through a pad in an hour; some light bleeding is normal)
- Difficulty urinating, or painful urination
- Fainting or dizziness
Help with the shots
The first step in the egg freezing process is to stimulate the ovaries to produce multiple eggs to be retrieved. This is done with the use of fertility medication, administered in the form of injectable hormones over 10-12 days.
Helping your loved one with these required injections is huge. This is not a task for everyone, and it's completely understandable if it falls outside your comfort zone. If you do have the capacity and willingness to assist with administering the shots, your help would undoubtedly be appreciated.
However, even if you prefer not to take a hands-on role, your presence while they give themselves the shot can still make a meaningful difference.
Simply keeping them company, offering words of encouragement, or offering a little treat (chocolate?) or surprise after each shot can transform an intimidating necessity into a shared moment of support and connection.
Respect the decision
Friends, family, and partners should respect the donor's autonomy in this deeply personal decision. Recognize that this choice belongs solely to the person making it, and it may reflect a multitude of considerations, both practical and emotional.
Respecting this decision requires acknowledging your partner's autonomy and avoiding any attempts to influence or question her choice. Supporting her means listening without judgment, asking thoughtful questions to understand her perspective, and reassuring her of your support.
Research shows that egg donors are generally happy with their decision and the vast majority do not regret it (in one study of an egg sharing program, only 2.1% regretted their decision to participate). And anecdotally speaking, donors we work with at Cofertility are grateful for the opportunity to donate their eggs and keep half of the eggs retrieved for their own future use, for free.
Concerns and curiosity are natural, but they must be handled with delicacy and empathy. Being there for her doesn't mean agreeing with her on every point but rather offering a safe space where she can express her feelings and thoughts freely.
Empirical studies on autonomy and healthcare decisions reinforce the importance of respecting individual choices, particularly those concerning one's body and reproductive rights. In the context of egg donation, this principle becomes paramount, reflecting the ethical, emotional, and personal dimensions of the choice at hand.
Celebrate the achievement
Egg freezing and donation can be an expression of personal values, a decision that encapsulates a woman's beliefs, or simply an achievement that deserves acknowledgment and celebration.
Celebrating this achievement can take many forms, from simple words of congratulations and admiration to more elaborate expressions of support. It might mean throwing a small celebration, writing a heartfelt letter, or finding another personal way to convey pride and gratitude.
Celebration does not necessarily mean a public declaration but rather an authentic and personal acknowledgment of the strength, courage, and compassion embodied in the decision itself. The act of recognizing and honoring this choice can create a shared moment of joy and connection, strengthening the bonds between the donor and those closest to her.
In summary
Through our work with hundreds of donors, we've learned that the path is never solitary, nor should it be. The role of friends, family, partners, and significant others in this process cannot be overstated.
From understanding the technical aspects of the process to being a comforting presence during medical appointments, offering assistance with injections, respecting personal choices, and celebrating the decision, the support system surrounding a donor becomes an integral part of the experience. These connections not only ease the logistical and emotional challenges but transform the process into a shared journey that's imbued with empathy, respect, and love.
Our commitment to supporting individuals and families remains unwavering. By fostering a robust network of support and sharing our insights, we hope to make the journey not only more approachable but also more meaningful. The dreams of creating and nurturing life are collective ones, and we at Cofertility are honored to be part of these intimate and extraordinary stories.