IVF

Roughly 20% of single-parent households are single fathers, a group that has grown substantially in the past few decades. This translates to over 2.2 million single-parent households being led by dads (unfortunately the census doesn't ask how many of those men are single dads by choice). Research shows that single fathers provide healthy and supportive environments for their children, and actually spend more time with their children than do fathers in any other family structure.

How to have a child as a single dad by choice

There are a few options for building your family as a single dad by choice. Adoption and foster care are available domestically, and some international countries allow single-parent adoption. A single man who wants to be genetically related to their child can pursue egg donation, coupled with a gestational carrier (often called a “surrogate”) who carries the pregnancy but does not have shared genetics with the child. Both of these options take time and money, but are well worth the effort.

As egg donation and surrogacy become more widely available, the number of single fathers by choice is increasing – and we are proud to serve this incredible group of intended parents! 

Considerations for anyone considering parenthood

There are two major considerations that any parent – single or coupled – must think about on their path to parenthood.

The first is the financial costs of having and raising a child. These costs vary widely depending on location and preferences. The Brookings Institution found that the cost to raise a child from birth is $310,605 per child (for a middle-class family with two children). Of course, if you live in a major city like San Francisco or New York City, expect that number to at least double. This also does not include the cost of college, an expense that continues to increase. 

The second consideration is support. Parenting, especially in the early days, is a full-time role. Think about your village, and what you need to fully support your future family. Do you live near family members who are willing to help? If you work, will the child attend daycare or will you hire a nanny? Think about the day-to-day and how you will juggle parenthood with everything else in your life. 

Advice from the daughter of a single dad

I was raised by a single father (albeit by divorce and not by choice). I had a happy upbringing, and am very close to my father to this day. One of my fondest memories is when we fixed up a vintage car together. My dad shared his life passions with me (namely cars) and I had plenty of family and friends to round out my exposure to other interests. The best part of our relationship had nothing to do with his status as a single dad. In fact, I don’t even think about him that way. He’s just my dad – a loving, supportive, dorky parent who helped shape me into the person I am today. 

Resources

• Men Having Babies is a non-profit dedicated to providing gay men with educational and financial support to achieve parenthood; we love their events and attend their annual conference!
• The National Council for Adoption has great resources for pursuing single parent adoption
• The Single Parents Alliance of America (SPAA) is comprised of information resources, programs and savings for single parents across the United States
• The Single Fathers By Choice Facebook group is an online support community of over 1,000 people who have decided to become parents on their own
• SoloParent.org is a site run by a single-dad to support solo parents of faith. They also offer online and in-person support groups
• Single Parent Advocate is a non-profit committed to educating, equipping and empowering single parents with resources, practical assistance, emotional encouragement and social networking to better their lives, and those of their children
• Parents Without Partners (PWP) is a non-profit providing single parents and their children with an opportunity for enhancing personal growth, self-confidence, and sensitivity towards others by offering an environment for support, friendship and the exchange of parenting techniques
• Fatherly is the leading digital media brand for dads
• Fatherhood.gov is a site for dads looking for tips, hints, and even deals for dads and kids
• Nathan Chan is the single dad and influencer behind the lifestyle blog Single Daddy By Choice

At Cofertility, we honor your choice to pursue egg donation and support many single fathers. Our donors aren’t doing it for the cash – they keep half the eggs retrieved for their own future use, and donate half to your family. 

As someone raised by a single father, I know first hand that single dads are more than capable of raising happy, healthy children. If we can help you build your family, please reach out!

Your doctor told you that donor eggs are your best option for starting (or growing) your family. Now, you may be curious to know what the success rates are. Donor egg success rates can look high, which can be confusing when you compare them to some of the other numbers at play.

We broke down some of the numbers you’re likely to come across when looking at the different types of success rates. We explained what they mean and where they come from.

What are donor egg success rates?

What are your chances of having a baby with donor eggs? Depending on your individual circumstances, the chances of having a baby using a donor egg may be significantly higher than the chances of having a baby with In Vitro Fertilization (IVF) using your own eggs.

IVF success rates are impacted by things like age, genetics, and other medical conditions that impact egg quality. Donor eggs may eliminate these factors. That doesn’t mean that IVF can’t be successful on its own (it can!); but, some people, especially those with low egg quality or quantity, will experience a higher rate of success if they undergo IVF with the aid of donor eggs.

Success rates at the beginning and end of the process

IVF is a multistep process, and each step along the way has its own specific success rate. It’s hard to account for all the variables that are possible with each donor and recipient; however, there are some consistencies. Please note: while these figures are well established, success is not guaranteed when it comes to donor eggs or IVF.

Frozen eggs retrieved from women under the age of 36 have a 95 percent survival rate after being thawed. This figure can present a huge relief for hopeful parents who are worried about the cost associated with obtaining eggs and fearful of the disappointment that could come along with not even getting past the first stage of the process. While those numbers are strong, they drop slightly to 85 percent when accounting for eggs that were retrieved from women over the age of 36.

And that’s not the only good news. Around 53 percent of all donor egg cycles will result in a little bundle (or in some cases, bundles) of joy that you’ve been dreaming of.

How are these numbers reported?

A division of the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) that tracks Assisted Reproductive Technology (ART) collects these statistics. ART covers all fertility treatments where eggs or embryos are used.

Most fertility clinics in the United States report their ART numbers to the CDC, which they then review and report. The CDC's most recent report was 2019’s Fertility Clinic Success Rates Report. This found that 2.1% of babies born in America each year are the result of ART. You can check out the Society For Assisted Reproductive Technology (SART)’s website; there, search for your clinic to find out how their numbers stack up.

Success rates at Cofertility

At Cofertility, the average number of mature eggs a family receives and fertilizes is 10. Some intended parents want to do two egg retrievals with the donor which is definitely possible. We also ask each of our donors whether they are open to a second cycle as part of the initial application — many report that they are!

You can see how many eggs are retrieved in the first cycle and go from there. If, for any reason, the eggs retrieved in that round do not lead to a live birth, our baby guarantee will kick in and we’ll re-match you at no additional Cofertility coordination fee.

In 2023, Cofertility was named one of the Best Egg Donor Programs by Egg Donor Connect. That’s because we’re shaking things up and doing things differently around here. Our unique model has landed us features in FastCompany, Fortune, Women’s Health, TechCrunch, Business Insider, and more.

We take our jobs seriously, and would be honored to work with you on this journey.

How using an egg donor increases your rate of success

There are several reasons why you might find yourself considering an egg donor as you plan your family.

Poor ovarian reserve or low egg quality

If your doctor told you that you have a low egg count (diminished ovarian reserve) or poor egg quality, using donor eggs may help increase your chances of having a baby with IVF. This is because egg donors are generally young with a high egg count and quality. A reproductive endocrinologist (REI) also screens and approves donors.

Age

A woman’s chance of success with IVF is highly correlated with her age. This means, using a donor egg from a younger woman could increase your chances of success. According to the Society For Assisted Reproductive Technology, the most important factor for success when doing IVF, is the age of the woman.

• Women under the age of 30 have the highest success rate, at around 50 percent per IVF cycle.
• Women over the age of 40 have success rates that range from five to 20 percent per IVF cycle.
• When the oocytes—which are the eggs that will eventually be fertilized and become embryos—are retrieved from an egg donor (under the age of 33), those success rates trend towards the higher end of the spectrum.

Genetic disorders

Some couples carry a genetic disorder that they do not want to pass down to their children. If you’ve been diagnosed with such a disorder, you can use a donor egg to avoid having a child with that condition.

Premature Ovarian Insufficiency

Some women have something called premature ovarian insufficiency (sometimes called primary ovarian insufficiency) which causes the ovaries to stop releasing eggs and producing estrogen. Doctors may diagnose this condition in women under the age of 40.

Surgical or cancer interventions

If you’ve received chemotherapy for cancer you may have a lower than expected egg supply for your age. If you have had your ovaries removed surgically, donor eggs may be the only way you’re able to proceed on your reproductive journey.

Get more information

Just by doing this research, you’re already on the right path towards starting (or growing) your family. To browse our platform of incredible egg donors, click here.

When you decide to build your family with donor eggs, you’re forced to contend with a lot of unknowns. You may be asking yourself questions like, “what if she doesn’t pass her screening,” or “what if the cycle doesn’t yield any healthy embryos?” 

These concerns are compounded by the fact that any fertility treatment comes with a hefty price tag. We know that IVF and egg donation are huge expenses for families because we’ve been there. While we can’t promise perfection, we have devised the most parent-friendly guarantee on the market. We hope this brings you peace of mind and shows you how committed we are to helping you build your family. 

Cofertility’s baby guarantee

While some agencies require you to pay extra to guarantee a set number of embryos, Cofertility’s baby guarantee is built into our one-time $7,000 coordination fee. We want to help you bring your baby home, and we’ll re-match you for free until that happens. 

What does this mean? If the donor doesn’t clear her screening… we’ll rematch you. If the cycle doesn’t lead to any blastocysts… we’ll rematch you. If none of the blastocysts turn into a pregnancy… we’ll rematch you. 

In short, if at any point along your egg donation journey, something comes up that prevents you from bringing your baby home, we’ll re-match you for free or we’ll offer you a full or partial refund if you do not move forward with another donor. 

The nitty gritty

When you find a potential match, you’ll put down a $500 deposit that places a five day hold on the match. During this time, we’ll help you share the donor’s information with your doctor for review. If your doctor gives you the green light to move forward, this will be credited towards our coordination fee. If, for any reason, your doctor does not approve the donor, this deposit can be refunded. 

Then when you decide to move forward, you’ll sign a formal agreement with Cofertility and pay for phase 1, which encompasses the Cofertility coordination fee. This fee comes with our baby guarantee. 

The guarantee is further outlined in your contract, but covers the following: 

• The donor does not pass her initial screening, whether due to her AMH being too low, failing a genetic screen or psychological evaluation, or just generally not passing your doctor’s donor criteria  
• The egg retrieval fails or is canceled, which includes your doctor canceling the round, no mature eggs retrieved, or even you backing out
• No pregnancy is achieved, all the way from the eggs failing to fertilize through to no embryos transferring or no pregnancies making it to a live birth

If you’re using a gestational carrier, this guarantee will also extend to her as applicable (e.g., the embryo transfer).

Importantly, any medical or cycle-related fees paid or scheduled for payment (e.g., the donor’s genetic screening, donor’s travel to clinic) are not refundable. 

Why we don’t guarantee a number of eggs

Cofertility’s model allows women to freeze their eggs for free when they donate half of the eggs retrieved to your family. You don’t pay any cash compensation, but you also only receive a portion of the eggs retrieved in that cycle. 

Some guarantee programs are based on a specific number of eggs retrieved or embryos created. Ultimately, the number of eggs that you’ll need depends on you and your family-planning goals. For some, one cycle may yield enough eggs to grow the family of your dreams. Others may be interested in completing a second cycle, either with the same or a different donor. 

Because of this, we wanted to rightsize our guarantee to fit all family-building plans. In other words, we don’t think it’s right for you to pay extra to guarantee four embryos if you only want to have one child. 

At Cofertility, the average number of mature eggs a family receives and fertilizes is 12. Some intended parents want to do two egg retrievals with the donor which is definitely possible. We also ask each of our donors whether they are open to a second cycle as part of the initial application — many report that they are!

Summing up our commitment to you

Building your family through donor eggs should be a beautiful experience, but that doesn’t mean that it will come without stressors. While we can’t control every outcome, we’ve worked hard to ensure that our guarantee protects you through every twist and turn. If you have any questions about our pricing or guarantee, please don’t hesitate to reach out.

IVF with donor eggs has a much higher success rate than IVF with a patients' own eggs. However, it’s still not 100%. In this article, we will go over the reasons for using donor eggs, how long it takes to use donor eggs, the chances of it working, and why donor egg cycles sometimes fail.

Reasons for egg donation

According to the CDC, a substantial 12% of all IVF cycles in the U.S., over 16,000 a year, involve eggs retrieved from a donor. And donor-egg IVF has the highest success rate of any fertility treatment. 

There are myriad reasons families turn to donor eggs to build their family. For heterosexual couples, the reason is usually due to poor egg quality or quantity, recurrent miscarriages, genetic mutations, or repeated IVF failure.

Read more in Seven Reasons Families Use Donor Eggs

How long does it take to get pregnant with donor eggs?

For someone who has spent a lot of time, effort, and money on failed IVF, you may be eager to move forward with donor eggs and have a baby ASAP. The good news is that the chances of success with donor eggs has more to do with the age of the donor than the age of the mother (or gestational carrier). 

The time to match with a donor can be just days (we have hundreds of pre-qualified donors ready to match with your family). After that, a donor cycle with fresh eggs can take 60-90 days from match to completion of the cycle. Frozen eggs can be quicker, but it usually means you can’t meet the donor beforehand.  

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As you can see from the SART data above, the chances of getting pregnant per cycle is much higher with donor eggs and the gap increases with age of the patient. 

Read Dr. Meera Shah’s article Donor Egg Success Rates: a Breakdown.

How many donor eggs do I need?

One 2015 study of 647 frozen donor eggs found that:

• 97.1% survived thawing
• 85.3% of the eggs fertilized
• 59.1% made it to blastocyst
• 84.2% of blastocysts were euploid (genetically normal)

So three donor eggs would yield a little over one genetically normal embryo on average while nine donor eggs would be expected to yield three to four euploid embryos on average. Keep in mind that this will vary depending on a lot of factors other than the egg, including the quality of the sperm and the quality of the clinic.

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Another study found the average number of eggs retrieved from donors aged 25-29 was 18 eggs, and for ages 30-35 was 16 eggs. 

At Cofertility, the average number of mature eggs a family receives and fertilizes is 10. Some intended parents want to do two egg retrievals with the donor which is definitely possible. We also ask each of our donors whether they are open to a second cycle as part of the initial application — many report that they are!

You can see how many eggs are retrieved in the first cycle and go from there. If, for any reason, the eggs retrieved in that round do not lead to a live birth, our baby guarantee will kick in and we’ll re-match you at no additional Cofertility coordination fee.

Does donor egg IVF work for the first time?

IVF cycles using donor eggs certainly have a higher success rate than using a patient’s own eggs, especially for patients who have had failed cycles or recurrent miscarriages. So while for many families, donor eggs work the first time, for others it does not work on the first try. 

Why do donor egg cycles fail?

It can be very frustrating when a donor egg cycle fails, either due to fertilization, implantation failure, chemical pregnancy, or miscarriage. And unfortunately, most of the time, it’s hard to know exactly why. 

We know that sperm plays a huge role in fertilization and embryo quality, but there’s so much we still don’t know about sperm. Even sperm that passes sperm quality and fragmentation tests with flying colors can be the cause of poor fertilization or even miscarriage.

There could also be implantation failure or miscarriage due to uterine lining issues, endometrial receptivity, or immunological factors. We still don't completely understand implantation, and unfortunately many patients never find out why they miscarried a genetically normal embryo.

Failure could also be due to the quality of the clinic you are working with. We know that IVF success rates vary from clinic to clinic. You can find the success rates of your clinic on the CDC’s SART website – however, keep in mind that some clinics have better success rates because they turn away patients with low chance of success, and other clinics have worse success rates because they work with anyone.

And sometimes, a donor egg cycle can fail simply due to bad luck. Even with improved chances of success with a transfer of a euploid embryo from donor eggs, pregnancy is not a 100% guarantee. 

Cofertility’s Baby Guarantee

When you decide to build your family with donor eggs, you’re forced to contend with a lot of unknowns. You may be asking yourself questions like, “what if she doesn’t pass her screening,” or “what if the cycle doesn’t yield any healthy embryos?” 

These concerns are compounded by the fact that any fertility treatment comes with a hefty price tag. We know that IVF and egg donation are huge expenses for families because we’ve been there. While we can’t promise perfection, we have devised the most parent-friendly guarantee on the market. We hope this brings you peace of mind and shows you how committed we are to helping you build your family. 

Read more about our Baby Guarantee.

Egg sharing programs exist worldwide to help make fertility care more accessible. Egg sharing generally describes when a donor undergoes an egg retrieval, and the resulting eggs are split between the donor and the intended parent(s). The family receiving the donor eggs pays for the egg retrieval and all associated expenses. 

In Cofertility’s Split program, donors can freeze their eggs for free when they donate half of the retrieved eggs to a family who can’t otherwise conceive. Families pursuing egg donation to build their family can match with an egg donor on our Family by Co platform.

Egg sharing programs provide an opportunity for egg donors to contribute to the fertility journey of others while also receiving a benefit for their own future family planning. In this guide, we will explore the concept of egg sharing and all the relevant information you need to know. 

What is egg donation sharing?

Egg donation sharing is a process when an egg donor agrees to donate half of her retrieved eggs to another couple or individual undergoing IVF. In traditional egg donation, the donor's eggs are exclusively given to the intended parents. However, in egg sharing, the donor has the opportunity to use some of the eggs retrieved for her own future family planning.

Egg sharing IVF

Egg sharing IVF is similar to traditional IVF in that the retrieved eggs are fertilized in a lab with the partner's or donor sperm, and then transferred to the intended mother's uterus. In egg sharing IVF, the donor's half of the retrieved eggs will be used for the intended parents, and the other half will be reserved for the donor's own use. Sometimes donors keep their eggs frozen for years, and other times they have them immediately fertilized and turned into embryos.

Egg sharing pros and cons

Pro: more affordable

One of the biggest advantages of egg sharing is that it allows for more affordable access to IVF for intended parents. Additionally, egg sharing can be a good option for egg donors who want to help others and also want to have the option to use some of their eggs for their own family planning in the future. 

Pro: less icky

Our unique model empowers women to take control of their own reproductive health while giving you the gift of a lifetime. Our donors aren’t doing it for cash – they keep half the eggs retrieved for their own future use, and donate half to your family.

Why is cash compensation problematic? A 2021 Harvard study found that 62% of donor-conceived adults felt the exchange of money for donor gametes was wrong, and 41% were troubled by the fact that money was exchanged around their conception. By allowing our donors to freeze their eggs as part of the process, our unique model honors everyone involved.

Pro: better for everyone involved

Our model empowers donors to preserve their own fertility, while lifting you up on your own journey. It’s a win-win.

Con: there are still risks

Egg freezing is considered a safe procedure. In a single egg freezing cycle, the risk of a serious adverse event is under 2.5%. Severe OHSS accounts for the majority of complications, occuring in 0.1-2% of cycles. The risk of other acute complications, including pelvic infection, intraperitoneal hemorrhage, or ovarian torsion, is small (<0.5%).

That being said, many women do experience minor side effects – like bloating, constipation, nausea – from the medications and egg retrieval. 

Egg sharing criteria

Our team screens donors through a rigorous, multi-step process to ensure each person is qualified and prepared to become an egg donor, going above and beyond FDA and ASRM-recommended screening guidelines. Before donors can be listed on our platform, we review their personal and family medical history and collect information on their lifestyle and behavioral habits. Most importantly, we meet 1:1 with every donor to get at the core of who she is as a person — her values, her goals, her personality. This allows us to provide you with the most thoughtful match possible.

Once you move forward with a match, the donor will undergo a physical examination, psychological evaluation, and full genetic screen. Your doctor will review these results and give us the green light to move forward. We will also ensure that donors are screened for background and education checks. 

What are the costs of egg sharing? 

The cost of egg sharing can vary depending on the fertility clinic and the specific program. However, in general, the cost of egg sharing is less than traditional egg donation, as there is no cash compensation to the donor. 

A journey with Cofertility will cost around $26,500.

This includes:

• Match deposit: $500
• Cofertility’s Coordination Fee: $6,500
• Administrative fees: ~$5,500 
• Medical expenses associated with the donor’s screening and retrieval: can vary by clinic but are typically around $14,000

For a more detailed breakdown, view our pricing page.

While cycle administrative fees are non-refundable, our one-time Cofertility Coordination Fee comes with a baby guarantee. This means that if anything happens that prevents you from a live birth, we’ll re-match you at no additional Cofertility fee until you bring your baby home. 

What the data says about egg sharing

There is limited data on the success rates of egg sharing compared to traditional egg donation. However, some studies have suggested that egg sharing may result in higher success rates because the donor's eggs are being used in her own treatment cycle, meaning she may be more invested in the outcome. 

This study of 276 egg-sharing cycles concluded that egg sharing “provides a good opportunity for recipients and egg-sharing donors to achieve a live birth”. Specifically, the study found that by sharing (donating) their eggs with another family, the egg sharers did not reduce their chances of pregnancy and live birth.

“Those patients participating in an egg-sharing programme are providing a valuable resource of donor eggs,” the authors noted, “while not compromising their own treatment outcome or putting themselves at any additional risk of complications”.

At Cofertility, the average number of mature eggs a family receives and fertilizes is 10. Some intended parents want to do two egg retrievals with the donor which is definitely possible. We also ask each of our donors whether they are open to a second cycle as part of the initial application — many report that they are!

You can see how many eggs are retrieved in the first cycle and go from there. If, for any reason, the eggs retrieved in that round do not lead to a live birth, our baby guarantee will kick in and we’ll re-match you at no additional Cofertility coordination fee.

Will I regret egg sharing?

Egg donors

While some egg donors report feeling a sense of pride and fulfillment from helping others build their families, others may experience feelings of regret or sadness. We have found that people who donate their eggs as part of an egg sharing program are less likely to feel regret. 

In fact, egg share donors usually feel that egg sharing was a win-win solution for donors and recipients alike. One study found egg share donors are happy with their decision, and 83.3% would donate again. Only 2.1% regretted their decision to participate.

Donor egg recipients

Ask anyone who has had a child, born with or without some type of assistance, and they will all tell you the same thing: parenting is the greatest - yet hardest - thing they have ever done. It doesn’t matter how the child came into their lives, the role and relationship of parent and child is the same. 

When working with parents who had donor conceived children, we have found their only real regret was they wished they had done this sooner. They wished they had let go of their preconceived notions that a baby who looks like them or who shares their genes is the only way to be a parent. That bringing a child into their lives using alternative methods means the child won’t see them as their real parent, or that they will not bond. 

Egg sharing programs near me

We work with families and egg donors around the world! Cofertility is unique in that we are clinic-agnostic, as long as the clinic reports outcomes to SART and has a CAP certified lab. Some clinics have specific requirements related to working with outside donors and have policies in place for how they handle those cases. If you already have a clinic in mind, reach out to our team and we can send a list of questions that we recommend you ask them before getting started. 

Best egg sharing program

We aim to be the best egg-sharing program, providing an experience that honors, respects, and uplifts everyone involved. Here’s what sets us apart:

• Human-centered. We didn’t like the status quo in egg donation. So we’re doing things differently, starting with our human-centered matching platform.
• Donor empowerment. Our model empowers donors to preserve their own fertility, while lifting you up on your own journey. It’s a win-win.
• Diversity: We’re proud of the fact that the donors on our platform are as diverse as the intended parents seeking to match with them. We work with intended parents to understand their own cultural values — including regional nuances — in hopes of finding them the perfect match.
• Baby guarantee. We truly want to help you bring your baby home, and we will re-match you for free until that happens.
• Lifetime support: Historically, other egg donation options have treated egg donor matching as a one-and-done experience. Beyond matching, beyond a pregnancy, beyond a birth…we believe in supporting the donor-conceived family for life. Our resources and education provide intended parents with the guidance they need to raise happy, healthy kids and celebrate their origin stories.

We are obsessed with improving the family-building journey — today or in the future — and are in an endless pursuit to make these experiences more positive. Create a free account to get started today!

The world of fertility treatments is a rapidly-evolving landscape, teeming with options, intricacies, and promises of renewed hope for LGBTQ+ families as well as those struggling to conceive. Among these treatments, donor egg in vitro fertilization (IVF) has become an increasingly common path, with a substantial 12% of all IVF cycles in the U.S., over 16,000 a year, involving eggs retrieved from a donor.

But does donor egg IVF increase the chances of conceiving twins? In this guide, I’ll dive into the essentials of donor egg IVF, its odds for success, the chances for twins, and the potential risks associated with multiples.

What is donor egg IVF?

IVF with donor eggs is a medical procedure where eggs are collected from a donor, fertilized in a laboratory with the intended father's or a donor's sperm, and the resulting embryo is then implanted in the uterus of the intended mother or a gestational carrier. 

This process may be an option for women with diminished ovarian reserve, repeated IVF failure, infertility due to recurrent miscarriage, or those who carry genetic disorders that they do not want to pass on to their children. It is also an option for LGBTQ+ families and single males. 

Donor egg IVF typically involves several steps: the selection of an egg donor, extraction and fertilization of the donor eggs, and transfer of the embryo(s). To learn more about the process, check out this article. 

What are the odds of getting pregnant with donor eggs?

Success rates for donor egg IVF are often more promising compared to traditional IVF. At Cofertility, the average number of mature eggs a family receives and fertilizes is 10. Some intended parents want to do two egg retrievals with the donor which is definitely possible. We also ask each of our donors whether they are open to a second cycle as part of the initial application — many report that they are!

Around 53 percent of all donor egg cycles will result in at least one live birth. This percentage varies depending on the egg donor, recipient body mass index, stage of embryo at transfer, the number of oocytes retrieved, and the quality of the clinic.

At every age, the chances of birth with donor eggs is better, but those who benefit the most from donor eggs are women over 35 and those with low ovarian reserve. In fact, about one-quarter of women over 40 who succeeded with IVF did so through the use of donor eggs. 

The chart was made using the SART Patient Predictor for an average woman (5’4”, 150 lbs) with diminished ovarian reserve. As you can see, the chances of live birth after one donor egg cycle is 54% for recipients under 40, and only goes down slightly after this.

The advantage is primarily due to the utilization of eggs from younger donors, typically between the ages of 21 and 34.

It’s important to remember that your age when you get pregnant is not as important as the age of the eggs with which you get pregnant. The success of egg donation depends on many factors, but is not considered to be related to the age of the recipient.

Chances of twins with donor eggs

One question we get a lot is the likelihood of conceiving twins with donor egg IVF. 

According to the CDC, in 2021 live births from donor egg IVF had a slightly higher chance of twins compared to IVF with a patient’s own eggs.

• General population: 3.2%
• IVF with patient’s own eggs: 5.2%
• Donor egg IVF: 6.0%
• Donor embryo IVF: 7.4%

But as you can see from the data above, IVF (regardless of whose eggs are used) is associated with higher chances of twins. 

How does that work? First, the chances of an embryo splitting and becoming monozygotic twins (aka identical twins) is 2.25 times higher with IVF than with unassisted conception. 

But twins after IVF are usually due to a patient having more than one embryo transferred to the uterus, making them dizygotic twins. When IVF was just starting out, there was no genetic testing and fertility doctors would transfer multiple embryos at one time. This led to a multiples rate of over 20% for those who underwent IVF. Nowadays, as technology has advanced, single embryo transfers are the norm, and the incidence of twins has gone down drastically. 

Can I transfer two donor egg embryos?

The transfer of two embryos is an option in some fertility clinics, and it often increases the chances of pregnancy. However, it's important to consider the associated risks, benefits, and guidelines.

The American Society for Reproductive Medicine (ASRM) recommends that clinicians and patients carefully discuss the number of embryos to be transferred, considering factors like maternal age, embryo quality, and the patient's individual medical situation. In some cases, transferring two embryos may be a viable option, while in others, a single embryo transfer may be the preferred route to minimize the risk of multiples,

Risk of pregnancy with multiples

While the prospect of twins may be appealing to some, there are increased risks associated with multiple pregnancies. Twin pregnancies are associated with higher rates of preterm birth, low birth weight, and maternal complications such as gestational diabetes and preeclampsia.

• Preterm birth, defined as delivery before 37 weeks of gestation, occurs more frequently in multiple pregnancies. Preterm infants may face an array of health challenges, including respiratory distress syndrome, infections, and long-term developmental issues. These risks underscore the importance of careful monitoring during pregnancy and specialized neonatal care following birth.
• Low birth weight, often linked to preterm birth, is a common occurrence in twin pregnancies. Infants born with low birth weight are at increased risk for health problems both immediately after birth and later in life. Challenges may include difficulties with feeding and temperature regulation, as well as potential long-term developmental delays.
• Other complications from twin pregnancies due to added stress on the mother's body can lead to an increased risk of gestational diabetes and preeclampsia, a condition characterized by high blood pressure and damage to organs such as the liver and kidneys. Other potential complications may include an increased likelihood of cesarean section (C-section), excessive bleeding during childbirth, and higher rates of postpartum depression.

You should understand these risks and engage in thoughtful, well-informed planning and decision-making with your fertility doctor if you are considering the transfer of multiple embryos in donor egg IVF.

The bottom line

Donor egg IVF represents a beacon of hope for many aspiring parents. With its relatively high success rate, more and more families are turning to donor eggs to build their family.

However, the decision to pursue this treatment—and whether to transfer one or two embryos—requires careful consideration of the odds, potential risks, and individual medical circumstances. Consulting with fertility doctors, understanding the available scientific data, and considering personal preferences and ethical considerations will equip you to make informed choices on your journey towards parenthood. We wish you all the best!

Learn about egg sharing

At Cofertility, our program is unique. After meeting with hundreds of intended parents, egg donors, and donor-conceived people, we decided on an egg donation model that we think best serves everyone involved: egg sharing.

Here’s how it works: our unique model empowers women to take control of their own reproductive health while giving you the gift of a lifetime. Our donors aren’t doing it for cash – they keep half the eggs retrieved for their own future use, and donate half to your family.

We aim to be the best egg sharing program, providing an experience that honors, respects, and uplifts everyone involved. Here’s what sets us apart:

• Human-centered. We didn’t like the status quo in egg donation. So we’re doing things differently, starting with our human-centered matching platform.
• Donor empowerment. Our model empowers donors to preserve their own fertility, while lifting you up on your own journey. It’s a win-win.
• Diversity: We’re proud about the fact that the donors on our platform are as diverse as the intended parents seeking to match with them. We work with intended parents to understand their own cultural values — including regional nuances — in hopes of finding them the perfect match.
• Baby guarantee. We truly want to help you bring your baby home, and we will re-match you for free until that happens.
• Lifetime support: Historically, other egg donation options have treated egg donor matching as a one-and-done experience. Beyond matching, beyond a pregnancy, beyond a birth…we believe in supporting the donor-conceived family for life. Our resources and education provide intended parents with the guidance they need to raise happy, healthy kids and celebrate their origin stories.

We are obsessed with improving the family-building journey — today or in the future — and are in an endless pursuit to make these experiences more positive. Create a free account to get started today!

Every National Infertility Awareness Week, we like to reflect upon the true meaning of “infertility awareness”. All year, we take every chance we get to increase awareness of infertility in an effort to provide proactive fertility education and de-stigmatize all paths to parenthood.

This is important because infertility can feel incredibly isolating due to lack of openness and understanding from the general public. While infertility does not discriminate, it often catches its victims off guard. Due to a lack of awareness (or just a lack of acceptance), we’re taught from an early age that getting pregnant is easy. In reality, this isn’t the case for everyone — one in four American couples struggle to conceive — and the additional stigmatization of infertility just kicks those suffering from it while they’re down. 

We’re here to change that. Myself and my co-founders all experienced challenging journeys to build our families, and we know, first-hand, that words matter. So this National Infertility Awareness Week, we’re proposing a vocabulary overhaul when it comes to outdated and straight-up offensive fertility terminology. 

Here are several fertility terms we commonly hear — in doctor’s offices, news articles, and more — that we think need to be replaced:

Fertility

• “Insurance policy” → optionality: when a woman decides to freeze her eggs, she's giving herself optionality should she experience fertility challenges down the line. While Cofertility’s mission with Freeze by Co is to enable more proactive, empowering egg freezing, we are always transparent about the fact that egg freezing is never an insurance policy.
• Poor sperm quality → sperm-related challenges: when a man experiences low sperm count or motility, or irregular morphology that may result in an unsuccessful fertilization or pregnancy. The same can apply to “poor egg quality,” and we support a similar change to reference egg-related challenges.
• Inhospitable uterus → uterine challenges: when uterine conditions, like endometriosis, cause difficulty getting or staying pregnant.
• Poor ovarian reserve → diminished ovarian reserve: when a woman’s egg count is lower than average for her age.
  

Egg donation and surrogacy

• Donor mother/parent → egg donor: the woman who donated her eggs to fertilize an embryo resulting in a child is an egg donor. The intended parents are that child’s parents, full stop.
• Surrogate mother → gestational carrier: Similar to “donor mother,” a gestational carrier, while doing an amazing thing (carrying the pregnancy of a transferred embryo using another woman’s egg) is not that child’s mother. Gestational carriers are incredible, but should not be confused with a child’s actual parents. 
• Anonymous egg donation → non-identified egg donation: we believe anonymous egg donation is a thing of the past — not only can it have negative effects upon donor-conceived children, it’s also unrealistic with the rise of consumer genetic testing. The American Society for Reproductive Medicine (ASRM) recently recommended this lexicon replacement as well. At Cofertility, we discuss the concept of disclosure at length with all donors and intended parents. You can read more about our stance on “anonymous” egg donation here.
• Buying eggs → matching with an egg donor: No one involved in this process should feel like eggs are being bought or sold (that goes for the egg donor, the intended parents, and the donor-conceived person). Rather, working with an egg donor is a beautiful way of growing a family and should feel the opposite of transactional. 
• “Using” an egg donor → working with/matching with an egg donor: An egg donor should feel like a perfect fit with your family and someone who should be respected, not “used”. Our unique model — where women can freeze their eggs for free when they donate half of the eggs retrieved to another family — honors everyone involved. Learn more here! 
  

Pregnancy loss

• Spontaneous abortion → pregnancy loss: Honestly, this term is beyond cruel given what it describes — losing a pregnancy prior to 20 weeks.
• Implantation failure → unsuccessful transfer: When an IVF embryo transfer doesn’t result in a success, that doesn’t mean it — or your body — was a failure. 
• Chemical pregnancy → early pregnancy loss: Calling a pregnancy “chemical” discredits what it actually is — a pregnancy. And losing it should be categorized as such. 

Let’s hold ourselves accountable

During National Infertility Awareness Week, consider this our rally cry for evolved terminology around the #ttc process. We’ll plan to hold ourselves accountable, but beyond talking the talk, we aim to walk the walk. 

Our goal is to make the actual family-building process more positive and accessible for anyone pursuing third party reproduction. With Family by Co, all egg donors give half of their eggs retrieved to intended parents and freeze the other half for themselves for free to preserve some of their own fertility for the future. This way, they’re able to give a life-changing gift, but also consider their own ambitions and lifestyle choices. We feel this is significantly more ethical than other donation options out there, and our intended parents love the transparent nature of our platform. 

Let’s challenge each other to evolve the surrounding verbiage. Because the family-building process should feel as good as possible, in spite of challenges along the way.

‍Cofertility is a human-first fertility ecosystem rewriting the egg freezing and egg donation experience. Our Family by Co platform serves as a more transparent, ethical egg donor matching platform. We are obsessed with improving the family-building journey — today or in the future — and are in an endless pursuit to make these experiences more positive. Create a free account today!

In vitro fertilization (IVF) using donor eggs has become an increasingly popular option for couples struggling with infertility as well as LGBTQ+ families. One question that often arises is whether it is possible to choose the gender (sex) of the baby when doing donor egg IVF. In this article, we will explore the answer to this question.

First off, let’s understand gender vs. sex

Gender and sex are two distinct concepts that are often used interchangeably, but they refer to different aspects of a person's identity. 

Sex refers to the biological and physiological characteristics that define a person as male, female, or intersex. This includes chromosomes, hormones, and reproductive organs. In most cases, a person's sex is determined at birth based on their physical anatomy. 

Gender, on the other hand, refers to the socially constructed roles, behaviors, and expectations that are associated with being male, female, or non-binary. Gender is often expressed through a person's appearance, clothing, interests, and personality traits. It is a complex and multifaceted aspect of identity that can vary widely between cultures and over time. 

It's important to note that gender and sex are not always aligned, and it's possible for a person's gender identity to differ from their biological sex. While “gender selection” is the term traditional used, it’s actually “sex selection” of the embryo. 

What is gender selection and how does it work?

To answer this question, it’s important to understand the IVF process. During IVF, eggs are extracted from a woman's ovaries and fertilized with sperm in a laboratory. Once fertilized, the resulting embryos are monitored for development before being transferred to the uterus of the intended mother or a gestational carrier. In donor egg IVF, the eggs used for fertilization come from a donor, rather than the intended mother.

Gender selection with IVF is a process in which a family finds out the sex of the embryos before the embryo is transferred. This is typically done using preimplantation genetic testing (PGT), a procedure in which a small number of cells are taken from the embryos during their development in the laboratory, and their DNA is analyzed to determine their sex.

There are various reasons why someone may want to use gender selection through IVF. One common reason is “family balancing”, where a parent may want to have a child of a particular gender to balance out the gender distribution in their family. For example, a couple with three daughters may want to try for a son.

Another reason is related to genetic disorders that are linked to a specific gender. Some genetic disorders, such as hemophilia, are more common in males, and parents who are carriers of the gene may want to select a female embryo to reduce the risk of passing on the disorder to their child.

Can I select my baby’s gender when doing donor egg IVF?

When it comes to choosing the gender of the baby in IVF, it is possible to do so through PGT. As stated above, PGT is a procedure in which a small number of cells are taken from the embryos during their development in the laboratory, and their DNA is analyzed to determine their sex. The embryos of the desired sex can then be selected for transfer.

However, it's important to note that PGT is not 100% accurate. The technology used to analyze the embryos is highly sophisticated, but it is not perfect. There is still a small margin of error (<1%) that can result in the wrong gender being selected for transfer.

Some fertility clinics have guidelines around gender selection, and will only transfer the best quality embryo based on morphology. Furthermore, PGT testing for sex selection can add time and cost to your journey.  

Is gender selection ethical?

Gender selection for non-medical reasons raises some ethical concerns, and some countries even have laws that prohibit it for non-medical reasons.

Some argue that gender selection perpetuates gender stereotypes and reinforces the idea that one gender is preferred over another.  Other critics argue that allowing gender selection could lead to a slippery slope of other forms of selective breeding, such as selecting for traits like intelligence or athleticism. Furthermore, gender selection is expensive and may only be available to those with the financial means to access it, creating a divide between those who can afford it and those who cannot. Overall, the ethical considerations of gender selection are complex and depend on individual circumstances. 

Conclusion

There are various reasons a family may want to choose a baby’s gender while undergoing donor egg IVF. From medical reasons to family balancing, it’s important to talk to your doctor if gender selection is important to you. Remember, gender selection of embryos is not always accurate, and there is a small margin of error that can result in the wrong sex being selected. Ultimately, the most important goal of any fertility treatment should be the health and well-being of the baby and the family.

Using donor eggs can be a life-changing experience for couples struggling with infertility. For many, it is the best way to achieve a successful pregnancy and start a family. However, using donor eggs can sometimes be an overwhelming process, and there are many things that you may not be aware of until you start the process. In this article, I will lay out some things that you should know about using donor eggs.

If you’ve done IVF before, you know the drill

IVF can be broken down into three phases: 

1. The retrieval phase, where the eggs are matured and extracted
2. The embryo phase, where eggs are fertilized and monitored in the lab
3. And the transfer phase, where an embryo is transferred to the uterus of the intended mother or gestational carrier

With donor eggs, the egg donor undergoes the retrieval and then her job is done. The eggs are then fertilized with the sperm of the intended father (or a sperm donor) and grown for three to seven days under the careful eye of a trained embryologist. At this point, some families opt to do genetic testing. Once the embryo is ready, the intended mother, or a gestational carrier, takes over to carry the pregnancy to term.

Unless your doctor has determined that it is impossible or dangerous for you to safely carry a pregnancy, you can absolutely undergo IVF and get pregnant with donor eggs. 

Choosing an egg donor is a huge decision

Finding an egg donor can be a challenging and time-consuming process, and rightfully so! You want to ensure that you find the right match that you feel good about. When choosing a donor, it's essential to consider factors such as physical traits, medical history, and personality. At Cofertility, we have hundreds of pre-qualified donors ready to be matched. You can create a free account to begin your search. 

Medical screening of the donor will help increase your chances of success

Donors are screened for various genetic and infectious diseases before they can donate their eggs. This screening process is designed to ensure that the donor is healthy and that there is minimal risk of passing on any genetic or infectious diseases to the recipient or the baby. Additionally, their ovarian reserve is tested to help ensure that they are likely to produce enough mature eggs. The screening definitely adds time to the process, but is intended to help increase your chances of success.  

You’ll need a lawyer who specializes in third-party reproduction

There are state-specific legal considerations to be aware of when using donor eggs. It's essential to have an iron-clad legal agreement in place that outlines the terms of the donation and the rights and responsibilities of all parties involved. No clinic will accept a patient and egg donor without this contract in place. If you work with Cofertility, we will help ensure you and your donor have expert lawyers drafting this contract.

Donor eggs can increase your chances of success

Around 53 percent of all donor egg cycles will result in at least one live birth. This percentage varies depending on the egg donor, recipient body mass index, stage of embryo at transfer, the number of oocytes retrieved, and the quality of the clinic.

At every age, the chances of birth with donor eggs is better, but those who benefit the most from donor eggs are women over 35 and those with low ovarian reserve. In fact, about one-quarter of women over 40 who succeeded with IVF did so through the use of donor eggs. 

The chart was made using the SART Patient Predictor for an average woman (5’4”, 150 lbs) with diminished ovarian reserve. As you can see, the chances of live birth after one donor egg cycle is 54% for recipients under 40, and only goes down slightly after this.

At Cofertility, the average number of mature eggs a family receives and fertilizes is 10. Some intended parents want to do two egg retrievals with the donor which is definitely possible. We also ask each of our donors whether they are open to a second cycle as part of the initial application — many report that they are!

You can see how many eggs are retrieved in the first cycle and go from there. If, for any reason, the eggs retrieved in that round do not lead to a live birth, our baby guarantee will kick in and we’ll re-match you at no additional Cofertility coordination fee.

It might get emotional

Using donor eggs can be an emotional journey for intended parents. It can create feelings of loss, sadness, anger, and possibly even shame. You may feel a deep sense of grief over not having a genetically linked child. Give yourself space to express your feelings and time to process this loss. Avoidance and distraction can only be helpful for so long. Allow yourself to sit with your feelings. Give yourself permission to move forward at your own pace.

Remember, DNA is a small part of who we are. All human beings are 99.9 percent identical in their genetic makeup and nurture plays an enormous role in who we become and who we bond with.

It will be expensive

IVF alone is expensive, and then there’s donor eggs. The total cost can end up being tens of thousands of dollars, depending on the clinic, the egg donor, and if your insurance or employer covers any of it. 

Know this: our donors aren’t doing it for the money. At Cofertility, our donors freeze their eggs for free in exchange for donating half of the eggs to your family. This saves families tens of thousands of dollars on donor compensation. 

You won’t regret it

Ask anyone who has had a child, born with or without some type of assistance, and they will all tell you the same thing: parenting is the greatest - yet hardest - thing they have ever done. It doesn’t matter how the child came into their lives, the role and relationship of parent and child is the same. 

When working with parents who had donor conceived children, their only real regret was they wished they had done this sooner. They wished they had let go of their preconceived notions that a baby who looks like them or who shares their genes is the only way to be a parent. That bringing a child into their lives using alternative methods means the child won’t see them as their real parent, or that they will not bond.  Read more in Will I Regret Using Donor Eggs?

In summary

Using donor eggs can be an excellent option for couples struggling with infertility. It's important to be aware of the various factors involved, including finding a donor, medical screening, legal considerations, success rates, emotional impact, cost, and talking to your child. With the right support and information, using donor eggs can be a positive and fulfilling experience, leading to the creation of a loving and happy family.

If you're in your 40s or 50s and looking to grow your family, you may be considering IVF with donor eggs. In fact, according to the CDC, a substantial 12% of all IVF cycles in the U.S. involve eggs retrieved from a donor. Donor-egg IVF has the highest success rate of any fertility treatment. But is there an age limit for intended parents pursuing this path? Let's take a look:

Parent age and egg donor IVF

Age is one of the biggest factors in the ability to get pregnant. And even with IVF, the chances of success with our own eggs declines as we reach our 40s. The great part about IVF is that you can find out if an embryo is genetically normal (and thus less likely to miscarry) before you attempt a transfer. This can save time and heartache. 

Data from the Society for Assisted Reproductive Technology (SART) shows the following chances of a live singleton birth using your own eggs via IVF:

• 38.3% for women 35-37
• 25.1% for women age 38-40
• 12.7% for women age 41-42
• 4.1% for women over 42

It’s important to remember that your age when you (or your gestational carrier) get pregnant is not as important as the age of the eggs. That means your chances of success getting pregnant, no matter your age now, is better with younger eggs. But how do you get younger eggs? For some lucky women, they can use eggs they froze years ago. But for most of us, getting younger eggs means turning to egg donation. 

My age vs. my donor’s age: which is more important?

Studies show that your chances of success using donor eggs does not diminish in your 40s. So while getting pregnant with your own eggs may be unlikely, using donor eggs can greatly increase your chances of a successful and healthy baby well into your 40s and even 50s.  

Many women in their 40s and 50s can carry a pregnancy when using donor eggs, although some need to use a gestational carrier for a variety of reasons. 

Is there an age limit for IVF with donor eggs?

Technically, there is no age limit (legal or otherwise) in the United States for pursuing IVF with or without donor eggs.  But ASRM discourages IVF for women older than 55, and some clinics set their own age limits for patients they will treat. 

For women over 45 years old, ASRM advises:

• “Comprehensive” medical testing for cardiovascular and metabolic fitness to ensure the safety of the mother and baby during pregnancy 
• Psychosocial evaluation to determine if support is in place to raise a child to adulthood
• Counseling patients on potential increased medical risks related to pregnancy

For families using donor eggs and a surrogate, ASRM would advise that the family undergo psychological evaluation to ensure the parents are equipped to raise the child at an older-than-average age. 

Supporting mothers of all ages

There is no age limit for men having children and there is no maximum age for US domestic adoption – so why would we put an age restriction on mothers via egg donation? Generally, these restrictions are for her own health during pregnancy. 

All pregnancies have risks, and pregnancy after 50 is no exception. One small study followed 45 healthy mothers ages 50-63 who used donor eggs, and found that 35% experienced pregnancy-related hypertension (high blood pressure), 20% experienced gestational diabetes, and 78% had a cesarean section. These numbers are higher than the general population. 

But what if a gestational carrier (surrogate) carries the donor egg pregnancy? Then the argument turns to the ability to parent. 

ASRM lays out some compelling arguments in favor of donor egg IVF for women over 45:

• Older people (grandparents) raise children all the time in our society, and successfully at that. So there’s no reason to think older parents wouldn’t have the physical and psychological stamina for raising children.
• Older men often have children, and there is no set age limit for males in IVF. So why create limits for women?
• Our society respects the rights of individuals to make reproductive choices regardless of age or life expectancy. For example, we don’t ban someone with a terminal illness from becoming a parent. So why stop someone else because of their age?

Benefits of having children later

Becoming a parent at an older age certainly has pros and cons, and is different for everyone. But here are some benefits to having children in your 40s and 50s:

• Financial security: older parents tend to have more financial freedom and savings, making the financial commitment of parenting less daunting.
• Emotional maturity: Older parents feel more ready and mature. In a study of older parents, 72% of mothers and 57% of fathers expressed that the emotional maturity associated with age provided a clear advantage to having children later in life.
• Smoother parenting: One study found that older maternal age was associated with fewer behavioral, social and emotional difficulties
• More life experiences: People who start families later in life have had more opportunity to check things off their bucket list – travel, work accomplishments, hobbies – and may not feel like parenting is as much a compromise in their lives. Plus, they have more to teach their littles! 

Summing it up

There is no formal age limit for pursuing donor egg IVF, although ASRM discourages it for women over 55 and fertility clinics may set their own age limit. Anyone over 45 is recommended to undergo comprehensive medical testing, counseling, and a psychosocial evaluation. There are pros and cons to becoming a parent at any age, and these should be carefully considered when making the decision. 

FAQ

What is “advanced maternal age” (over 35) “advanced reproductive age” (over 45)

Advanced maternal age is a not-so-great term used by the medical community to describe a potential pregnancy for women over 35. Advanced reproductive age refers to women over 45.  Interestingly, there is no similar term for males trying to conceive at any age. 

Am I too old to become a parent?

This is a question only you can answer. How is your health? Do you have a support system that could help raise the child if anything were to happen to you? Are you financially ready? These are questions any parent, at any age, should ask before building a family. 

What is donor egg IVF?

Donor egg IVF is an IVF cycle that uses a young, medically-cleared woman's eggs, which are then fertilized and implanted into the uterus of the intended mother or gestational carrier. 

How can I find an egg donor?

Our Family by Co platform serves as a more transparent, ethical egg donor matching platform. Create a free account today to get started!

Breastfeeding is a way of providing nourishment to newborns and infants. It has been widely recognized as the best form of nutrition for infants and has many benefits for both the mother and the baby. However, breastfeeding is not always easy and it's not for everyone. 

And if you are pursuing donor eggs to grow your family, you may be wondering if you will be able to breastfeed if the child is not genetically related to you. In this blog post, we will answer all your questions. Let’s dive in!

First off, what are the benefits of breastfeeding? 

There are loads of benefits to breastfeeding, including:

• Nutritional benefits: Breastmilk is the perfect food for infants as it contains all the necessary nutrients in the right proportions, including proteins, carbohydrates, fats, vitamins and minerals. Additionally, breastmilk changes to adapt to the baby's needs as they grow and develop.
• Health benefits: Breastfeeding can reduce the risk of certain illnesses and conditions in both the mother and the baby. For the baby, it can reduce the risk of infections, allergies, asthma, and obesity. For the mother, it can reduce the risk of breast and ovarian cancer, osteoporosis and postpartum depression.
• Bonding: Breastfeeding can create a special bond between the mother and the baby as it involves physical and emotional contact. Additionally, the release of the hormone oxytocin during breastfeeding can promote feelings of calm and well-being in both the mother and the baby.
• Convenience: Breastfeeding can be convenient as it does not require any preparation, bottles, or clean-up and it's always available and at the right temperature!

But – let’s not act like it’s easy. What are the challenges of breastfeeding?

Breastfeeding can be a wonderful experience for both the mother and the baby, but it can also be really hard, or even impossible. Here are a few common challenges that mothers may face when breastfeeding:

• Physical challenges: Breastfeeding can be physically challenging, especially in the first few weeks. Some mothers may experience sore nipples, engorgement, and mastitis. Additionally, some mothers may have difficulty producing enough milk or have a medical condition that makes breastfeeding difficult.
• Time-consuming: Breastfeeding can be time-consuming, especially for mothers who are working or have other responsibilities. It can be difficult to schedule feedings around other activities and it can be challenging to pump and store milk when away from the baby.
• Social and emotional challenges: Breastfeeding can be difficult in social situations and some mothers may feel self-conscious breastfeeding in public. Additionally, some mothers may experience emotional challenges such as postpartum depression or feelings of isolation.
• Limited flexibility: Breastfeeding can limit a mother's flexibility as it requires the baby to be close by and available for feedings. This can make it difficult to travel or have a night out without the baby.

So can I breastfeed a donor-conceived baby if they are not genetically related to me?

Yes – in general, most mothers are able to breastfeed their donor-conceived child. But, it depends on the individual case and the methods used to achieve the pregnancy. 

If you carry the pregnancy, your body will work the same way it would if you got pregnant any other way. Lactation is a biological, hormonal response that occurs during and after pregnancy. Whether your baby was conceived from your own eggs or donor eggs, your body will trigger specific hormones to initiate milk production. So if breastfeeding is easy or hard for you – know that it would be that way regardless of the genetics of the baby. 

Can I breastfeed if I use a surrogate?

Yes – it is possible for some women who did not get pregnant to breastfeed their child; but it’s  not easy. This process is known as induced lactation, a process in which a woman can stimulate milk production through a combination of techniques such as hormone therapy, breast pumping, and/or breast massage.

The process of induced lactation can take several weeks or months, and you’ll need to work closely with a lactation consultant to ensure the process is done safely and effectively. The amount and quality of milk production can vary greatly and in some cases, it might not be enough to fully sustain an infant, therefore the use of formula may be necessary (and that’s OK!).

Induced lactation is not an easy process and it may require a lot of time, effort, and dedication. You should also consider the emotional and psychological aspects of this process, as it may bring up feelings of sadness, disappointment, or loss, especially if the woman has a history of infertility or has gone through a difficult pregnancy.

Will breastfeeding pass on my DNA?

If you breastfeed a donor-conceived child, they will not receive your DNA through the breastmilk. DNA is the genetic material that is responsible for the inherited traits and characteristics of an individual. It is present in every cell of the body and is passed onto offspring through the egg and sperm cells. Breastmilk is produced by the mammary glands and contains a mix of different nutrients, antibodies, and hormones that are beneficial for the growth and development of a baby, but it does not contain DNA.

The benefits of breastfeeding your donor-conceived child

In addition to providing an important source of nutrition and immune support for your baby, breastfeeding can play a significant role in the bonding and attachment between a mother and her donor-conceived child. The act of breastfeeding can release hormones like oxytocin in both the mother and the child, which can help to promote feelings of love, calm and bonding. 

One study of mothers who breastfeed their children found that they exhibit more maternal sensitivity. Maternal sensitivity was defined as the synchronous timing of a mother’s responsiveness to her child, her emotional tone, her flexibility in her behavior and her ability to read her child’s cues. However, the effect sizes were small, so don’t stress out if breastfeeding isn’t possible.

Summing it up

If you have a baby through donor eggs, and you carry the pregnancy, you can breastfeed just as you would otherwise. Even if you use a gestational carrier (surrogate), breastfeeding is still possible, although more difficult, through induced lactation. This is a process in which you stimulate milk production through a combination of techniques such as hormone therapy, breast pumping, and/or breast massage. There are a lot of pros and cons to breastfeeding, and it’s best to work with your provider to determine what’s best for your family. We are wishing you all the best on your journey!

When it comes to starting or expanding a family, many couples and individuals may turn to assisted reproductive technologies (ART) such as in vitro fertilization (IVF) to help them achieve their goal. One aspect of IVF that many patients are offered– whether using their own eggs or donor eggs – is preimplantation genetic testing (PGT). But is it necessary to do PGT testing with embryos made from donor eggs? Let’s dive in and find out. 

What is PGT?

PGT is short for PGT-A, or “Preimplantation Genetic Testing for Aneuploidies,” and you may also hear it referred to as PGS (“Preimplantation Genetic Screening”) or PGD (“Preimplantation Genetic Diagnosis”) which are various forms of testing embryos. 

PGT testing looks at an embryo to see if it contains the correct amount of chromosomes. Embryos with the right number of chromosomes — 46 — are considered “euploid,” and those with extra chromosomes or chromosome deletions are considered “aneuploid.” PGT is a way to screen for genetic disorders in embryos created through IVF before they are transferred to the uterus. 

PGT testing and age

Here’s an annoying fact: the percentage of embryos that are euploid decreases as we get older. So not only do we have fewer eggs as we age, but the chances that any one egg turns into a healthy baby decreases too.

One study of over 15,000 embryos found that the lowest risk for embryonic aneuploidy was between ages 26 and 30, and that older age groups had the lowest chance of a genetically normal embryo. 

As you can see, chromosomal abnormalities of embryos are normally due to the age of the egg (or rather, the age of the mother or egg donor at the time the egg is retrieved). Since donors are under the age of 33 and healthy, embryos made with donor eggs have a good chance of being genetically normal. So, is it still worth PGT testing donor egg embryos? That leads us to the next section…  

The upside of PGT testing donor eggs

There are definitely some benefits to testing donor eggs:

• Gender selection. PGT testing allows for gender selection. Most clinics allow you to know each embryo’s gender, which can be helpful for families that have a preference.
• Rule out sperm issues. PGT testing of embryos made from donor eggs may also be suggested for couples with male infertility, especially if the sperm has shown chromosome translocations or abnormalities.
• Pick the healthiest embryos. PGT can detect genetic disorders such as cystic fibrosis, Tay-Sachs disease, and sickle cell anemia, allowing for the selection of embryos that do not carry these disorders.

The downside to PGT testing

However, a lot of fertility doctors will say it’s okay to pass on genetic testing with embryos made from donor eggs. Here’s why:

• It’s expensive.The cost of PGT can vary depending on the type of testing done and the clinic you're working with, but it can be thousands of dollars. 
• Added time. It can take some testing companies weeks to give you the results. Time goes so slowly during IVF, and adding additional time can be a major downer. 
• False positives or negatives. PGT can be prone to false positives or negatives, meaning an embryo that is genetically normal could be labeled as abnormal, or vice versa. 
• There’s a small risk to the embryo. The biopsy process, which removes cells from each embryo to be sent for testing, has a chance of damaging the embryo. Also because the embryo must be frozen in order to do PGT testing, there’s risk in having to be thawed and unthawed. 

But the biggest downside is that PGT might not even improve the chances of pregnancy for those using donor eggs! Remember that chart you saw above? If embryos are made from donor eggs, where the donor is under 35… the chances of each embryo being euploid is pretty high. 

Let’s look at the data. A 2020 study looked at 1,291 donor-egg cycles across 47 IVF clinics– 262 cycles with PGT testing and 1,029 without. Live birth rates occurred:

• 53.8% of donor-egg cycles with PGT testing 
• 55.8% of donor-egg cycles with without PGT testing

Yes, you read that right. The donor-egg cycles that skipped PGT actually had higher live birth rates than those who paid to have the embryos PGT tested. The researchers concluded that PGT testing in donor egg-recipient cycles does not improve the chance for live birth, nor does it decrease the risk for miscarriage. But it does increase cost and time for the patient. 

Summing it up

PGT can be a useful tool for patients who are at risk for passing on a genetic disorder or have a family history of a particular condition, however it may not be that useful for those using healthy donor eggs. The financial cost, time, false positives or negatives, and risks to the embryo are all important factors to consider. This is definitely a question and conversation you want to have with your doctor who can help you make the best decision. Good luck!

Cofertility is a human-first fertility ecosystem rewriting the egg freezing and egg donation experience. Our Family by Co platform serves as a more transparent, ethical egg donor matching platform. We are obsessed with improving the family-building journey — today or in the future — and are in an endless pursuit to make these experiences more positive. 

If you are considering using an egg donor to start a family, you may be wondering if there will be a physical resemblance between you and your child. While it is true that the genetic makeup of a child will come from the egg donor and the father (or sperm donor), there are a few factors to consider when thinking about how closely the child may resemble the intended parent. Let’s dive in.

Will my donor-egg child look like me?

The answer is maybe. There is always a chance – whether genetic, adopted, or born through donor eggs – that a child won’t look like you. There’s also a chance that they will! I know plenty of genetically related children that look nothing like their mother or siblings. But I also know a lot of donor-egg children that look *exactly* like their mothers. In fact, I had no idea one of my closest friends used donor eggs to conceive her children until she confided in me when I began my donor egg journey.

Many families choose to match with a donor with similar physical features, especially for unique features like red hair, blue eyes, or being really tall. But keep in mind – picking a donor that looks like you in no way guarantees the child will look like you or the donor! 

What your child will derive from you

While I haven’t seen any research on donor-conceived children and how often they look like their family, we can look to some established research in the adoption space (although it’s not a perfect parallel, since with adoption the child is not genetically related to either parent and with donor eggs the child is often related to the father). 

One famous study of 7,230 parent-child pairs (504 adoptive) looked to see whether there were any physical similarities between parents and children. They found significant similarities in the stature and weight of the adoptees and their parents. This is no surprise, as we know there are non-genetic sources of human dimensional variability. Think about it this way – you may have an innate musical talent, but how musical you end up being depends a lot on nurture and what you are exposed to growing up. The same goes for certain features, like weight.  

“Looking” like someone is often just as much facial expressions and mannerisms as it is facial features. We can look to adoption research to understand attunement, which is how children can soak up their parent’s facial expressions in response to certain events. We know that children pick up physical cues, facial expressions, emotional response, and speech patterns from their parents. So even if you are not genetically related to your child, they may just roll their eyes or giggle the way you do. 

The genetics of donor eggs

When using donor eggs to conceive a child, the egg will be fertilized with sperm, either from the intended father or a sperm donor. The resulting embryo will contain the genetic material from both the egg donor and the intended father (or sperm donor), and will be genetically different from you. However, the child may have physical characteristics that resemble you, your partner, or the donor.

The egg donor's genetic makeup will contribute to the child's genetic makeup. For example, certain physical characteristics such as eye and hair color, skin tone, and facial structure. The egg donor's genetic makeup may also determine the child's risk for certain inherited diseases or genetic disorders. While egg donors do undergo screening for many genetic conditions, it's impossible to screen for every possible genetic disorder. 

All that being said – genetics are complex and many physical characteristics are determined by a combination of genetic and environmental factors. 

Will my baby have my DNA if I use a donor egg?

If you use a donor egg to conceive a child, the child will not have your DNA. The egg used to make embryos will come from a separate individual, the egg donor, and will contain her genetic material. The child will be genetically related to the egg donor, and will share a portion of the same DNA as the egg donor, and will not have any of your DNA (unless, of course, that egg donor is a relative of yours).

However, the child will be related to you in a legal and social sense as you will be the parent raising the child. You will have a legal relationship with the child as the parent, and you will have a social relationship with the child as the caregiver and nurturer.

Additionally, if you are able to carry the pregnancy, that will play a huge role. While the egg donor contributes 50% of the DNA to the genetic makeup of the child, research discussed in a 2014 Frontiers in Cell and Developmental Biology article shows that it is actually the birth mother who determines which of these genes get turned on or off. Things like maternal diet, stress during pregnancy and smoking can all make a difference in what genes get expressed.

Is an egg donor considered the biological mother?

An egg donor is considered the biological mother in the sense that she is the one who provides the egg that is fertilized and used to create an embryo. However, the egg donor is not the mother in the traditional sense, as she does not carry the pregnancy or raise the child.  The intended mother (or a gestational carrier) carries the pregnancy and gives birth to the child and raises and shapes the child’s entire life.

An egg donor has no legal rights or responsibilities to the child, and her role is limited to providing the egg for the conception process. It’s important to have the right legal agreement in place with an egg donor. If you work with Cofertility, we will make sure the legal part runs smoothly. 

What about epigenetics? 

Epigenetics refers to the study of changes in the expression of genes that do not involve changes to the underlying DNA sequence. These changes can be caused by a variety of factors, including environmental influences and lifestyle choices.

One factor that can play a role in the epigenetics of a child conceived through egg donation is the mother (or gestational carrier) carrying the pregnancy. The environment and lifestyle choices during pregnancy can affect the epigenetics of the developing fetus. For example, your diet, exposure to toxins, and stress levels can all have an impact on the epigenetics of the fetus.

Additionally, your own health and genetics can also influence the epigenetics of the growing baby. For example, certain genetic variations may affect your ability to detoxify certain chemicals, which can then affect the epigenetics of the fetus.Your own environment and lifestyle choices during pregnancy, as well as your own health and genetics, can all have an impact on the epigenetics of your egg-donor baby. 

Will my donor egg baby feel like mine?

A lot of moms using donor eggs to start a family wonder whether or not the child will feel like "theirs". And the answer is absolutely.  Every parent-child relationship is unique and what may be true for one family may not be for another. For some intended parents, the bond with their child may be immediate and strong, while for others, it may take time to develop. It's important to be open to the possibility that the bond may develop differently than expected, and to give yourself and your child the time and space to grow together.

Consider the role of parenting in forming a parent-child bond. The act of parenting, including bonding through nurturing, feeding, and raising a child, can create a strong emotional connection between a parent and child, regardless of genetics. The same goes for any potential siblings, cousins, aunts, uncles, and grandparents your child may have. 

When I think about the people I am closest to in this world – my step mom, my step sister, my adopted brother, my husband – none of them share my genetics. But they have shaped my life, and we have formed bonds far stronger than I have with many of my genetic relatives. Can you think about people in your life like this to help your mind transcend the idea that bonds are only capable through genetics? I have found this to be a helpful exercise.

Summing it up

It's important to understand that physical traits are determined by a combination of genetic and environmental factors. While the egg donor's genetic makeup will contribute to the child's physical characteristics, other factors such as the child's environment and upbringing can also play a role. 

Remember that inheritance is complex and that other factors such as environment and the characteristics of the egg donor can also play a role. But if physical resemblance is a concern, you may want to consider selecting an egg donor with similar physical characteristics.

We can help! Cofertility is a human-first fertility ecosystem rewriting the egg freezing and egg donation experience. Our Family by Co platform serves as a more transparent, ethical egg donor matching platform. We are obsessed with improving the family-building journey — today or in the future — and are in an endless pursuit to make these experiences more positive. Create a free account today! 

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If you are considering using an egg donor to start a family, or have already done so, you may find it helpful to learn more about the donor egg parenting process by reading books on the topic. Reading books on egg donation can help you to understand the process of having and raising a donor conceived child. It can also help you to gain insight into the experiences of others who have gone through the process, which may be helpful as you navigate your own decision-making process.

Below is a list of some of our favorite books on egg donation – both for those considering using donor eggs, as well as those raising donor conceived children. We also share some of our favorite children’s books on the topics. Happy reading!

Best books for parents considering using donor eggs

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"Having Your Baby Through Egg Donation" by Ellen Sarasohn Glazer & Evelina Weidman Sterling

The book: Having Your Baby Through Egg Donation (Second Edition) is an authoritative guide to negotiating the complex and emotive issues that arise for those considering whether or not to pursue egg donation. It presents information clearly and with compassion, exploring the practical, financial, logistical, social and ethical questions that commonly arise. 

The authors: Ellen Sarasohn Glazer is a clinical social worker specializing in infertility, adoption, third party reproduction, pregnancy loss and parenting after infertility. The long awaited arrivals of daughters Elizabeth and Mollie inspired Ellen's work in the field of reproductive medicine. Evelina Weidman Sterling works as a public health educator and researcher specializing in reproductive and women's health issues. 

Why we love it: This book spells it all out – including the ethical and emotional aspects of egg donation. After reading it, you will be in a far better position to decide if this family building option is right for you and, if so, to proceed as a more empowered parent. 

"Donor Family Matters" by Wendy Kramer

The book: Donor Family Matters: My Story of Raising a Profoundly Gifted Donor-Conceived Child, Redefining Family, and Building the Donor Sibling Registry is the story of Wendy's journey as the mother of a donor conceived profoundly gifted child, Ryan, whose relentless curiosity—under the tenacious guidance and support of his mother— led to his reunion against all odds not only with his biological father, Donor 1058, but also with 19 of his donor conceived half-siblings scattered across the continent.

The author: Wendy is the Co-Founder, Chair, and Executive Director of the Donor Sibling Registry. She has co-authored many published papers on donor-conception, has reviewed abstracts for ASRM and has also been a peer reviewer for the journals Human Reproduction, Reproductive BioMedicine Online, Frontiers in Global Women's Health, and the Journal of Comparative Effectiveness Research. She was Associate Producer on the Style Network's 2011 Emmy-nominated show Sperm Donor and on MTV News & Docs 2013 docu-series Generation Cryo. Wendy and her son Ryan have appeared on 60 Minutes, Oprah, Good Morning America, and many other news shows and publications.

Why we love it: This memoir provides a raw and honest account of raising a donor-conceived child as a single mother, and helping her son be the first donor-conceived person to find his biological father (donor) via a commercial DNA test, in 2005. 

Best books for parents raising donor-conceived children

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"Let’s Talk about Egg Donation" by Marna Gatlin

The book: Let’s Talk about Egg Donation: Real Stories from Real People tells true stories of families who are parenting via egg and embryo donation. Their stories are woven throughout the book to craft an informative, easy-to-read narrative that focuses on positive language choices.

The author: Marna Gatlin is the founder and Executive Director of Parents via Egg Donation (PVED), a non-profit organization created to provide an informational and supportive environment where parents and parents-to-be can learn and share information about all facets of the egg donation process.
Why we love it: This is the first book written by parents through egg donation that gives you age-appropriate scripts for how to take the scary out of talking to your kids about the special way in which they were conceived.

"Three Makes Baby" by Jana M. Rupnow LPC

The book: Three Makes Baby: How to Parent Your Donor-Conceived Child offers education and awareness so parents can guide their donor conceived children through various stages of development with age-appropriate conversations.

The author: Jana M. Rupnow, LPC is an internationally recognized fertility mental health expert and author. She received a bachelor of science from Texas A&M University and a master of arts, in professional counseling from Amber University. Jana has a master's degree in professional counseling and has practiced as a licensed professional counselor since 2010. Jana has helped thousands of people facing the psychological and social challenges of infertility as well as those preparing for third-party family building and adoption. She also knows what it's like to experience infertility. She and her husband had male-factor, secondary infertility and adopted their daughter from China. 

Why we love it: This book is often recommended by fertility doctors and fertility mental health professionals – and there’s a reason why. The author uses research and best practices to lay out solid advice for parents of donor-conceived children.

Best children’s books about egg donation

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"From the Start" by Stephanie Levich

The book: From the Start: A Book About Love and Making Families is an inclusive and heartfelt love letter to adopted children and children born through the help of fertility treatments such as IVF, sperm and egg donation, or surrogacy. The book focuses on hope and gratitude to highlight the special roles fertility doctors, donors, surrogates, and adoption play in helping hopeful parents start or grow their families. 

The authors: Alana Weiss and Stephanie Levich have been best friends since they were teenagers and are both mothers as a result of IVF. They have always been open about their fertility challenges and feel deeply grateful for their children and the extraordinary way they were conceived. Additionally, Stephanie is the founder of Family Match Consulting, an internationally renowned fertility consulting firm based in Los Angeles that specializes in egg/ sperm donation and surrogacy. She is also an adoptee.

Why we love it: The ways that we build our families are more dynamic than ever – this book highlights how special each of those paths can be. 

"Happy Together" by Julie Marie

The book: Happy Together, an egg donation story uses clear language and cheerful illustrations to join Mommy and Daddy bear on the journey to fulfill their greatest wish of becoming parents. With help from a doctor, an egg from a special lady called a donor and Daddy’s seed, a baby grew in Mommy’s tummy and was welcomed with great joy.

The author: As a mother through egg donation, author Julie Marie found various paths to parenthood were underrepresented in children's literature. Julie wrote Happy Together to help parents share their special family building story with their child.

Why we love it: This tender book is a favorite amongst donor-egg parents, and it’s no surprise. The story is simple enough for even young kids to understand, yet it explains the process of donor eggs well. 

"A tiny itsy bitsy gift of life" by Carmen Martínez Jover

The book: A tiny itsy bitsy gift of life, an egg donor story is a touching story of how a happy couple of rabbits have their own baby by means of egg donation. Using rabbits in this story enables children to easily understand their conception in a simple and loving way. It is through storytelling that parents can explain and help children understand these infertility treatments.

The author: Carmen Martínez Jover was born in Walton-on Thames, Surrey, England and now  lives in Mexico City. Her years of infertility prompted her to paint the roller coaster of emotions through an autobiography. As an adoptive mother she believes that storytelling can help parents share their children’s conception story and wrote this story for children conceived through egg donation.

Why we love it: We know it’s important to talk to donor-conceived children early and often about their conception story, and this book is a great way to do that. Using rabbits in this story enables children to easily understand their conception in a simple and loving way. 

"You Were Meant For Me" by Sheri Sturniolo

The book: You Were Meant For Me: Mom*Dad*Donor shows how the love and generosity of others can grow into the most wonderful gift. This book is a kid-friendly look into the unique ways that some families are grown and the journey of love that brings them together.

The author: Sheri Sturniolo is a Pediatric Registered Nurse and mother to a son and daughter—both born through the awesome gift of donors. Through her personal journey and experiences, Sheri hopes to offer a valuable tool to families searching for ways to make sense of their unique creation story. Sheri lives with her husband, son and daughter (both conceived through embryo adoption) in the San Diego area.

Why we love it: Using symbolism and sweet rhyming lyrics, You Were Meant For Me introduces the complicated topic of being born from sperm, egg or embryo donation, to a young child. By giving children the “pieces of the puzzle,” this book sparks their imagination and stimulates them to ask questions.

"Wish" by Matthew Cordell

The book: Wish is about an elephant couple that embarks on a life together, with thoughts of children far away—at first. But as the desire for a child grows, so do unexpected challenges. And it's only after thwarted plans and bitter disappointment that their deepest wish miraculously comes true.

The author: Matthew Cordell is the acclaimed author and illustrator of the 2018 Caldecott winner Wolf in the Snow. He is also the author and illustrator of Trouble Gum and the illustrator of If the S in Moose Comes Loose, Toot Toot Zoom!, Mighty Casey, Righty and Lefty, and Toby and the Snowflakes, which was written by his wife.

Why we love it: Although this book does not specifically discuss egg donation, it beautifully illustrates the angst of waiting for a child, the fear that it may not happen, and the joy when the wish finally comes true. It will make any parent who struggled with infertility tear up!

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Cofertility is a human-first fertility ecosystem rewriting the egg freezing and egg donation experience. Our Family by Co platform serves as a more transparent, ethical egg donor matching platform. We are obsessed with improving the family-building journey — today or in the future — and are in an endless pursuit to make these experiences more positive. 

‍Create a free account today!

When conducting your initial research on egg donation you were most likely focused on the short-term process like how to find the right match for your family. But now you might specifically want to know more about the long-term experiences of parents and children in families created using egg donation once the baby arrives. 

As a fertility psychologist, I often get asked what it feels like to have a baby born via egg donation, and if the baby will feel like their child or if they will be able to bond. In this guide, we’ll go over several studies that illustrate the parent-child relationship in families created using egg donation, and hopefully give you peace of mind!

Infant days: bonding with your donor-conceived child

No matter how your child is conceived, the answers to these questions are not black and white. Because just like any other pregnancy, some parents immediately feel a parental connection, even while their child is in-utero. And for some it may take months post-delivery. And even once the baby arrives, it can be very normal to feel uncertain about having a baby using someone else’s DNA. But these feelings tend to dissipate. A recent study conducted in 2020 found that women who were pregnant via egg donation had concerns about whether the child would feel like their own, but by the end of the first year, they felt secure and confident as the child’s mother. 

Early childhood: relationship satisfaction 

In terms of parental psychological health, studies have established that egg donation parents are psychologically well-adjusted in terms of their levels of depression, anxiety, parenting stress, and relationship quality with their partner. They also reported lower levels of parenting stress compared with IVF and sperm donation parents when children were ages three to eight years old.  And, egg donation mothers reported greater relationship satisfaction than IVF and sperm donation mothers. Similarly, fathers' depression scores did not differ between family types, but egg donation fathers reported lower levels of anxiety than comparison groups. At age 12, no differences were found between family types in mothers' levels of depression, anxiety, or relationship satisfaction. So basically, parental psychological health is not much impacted by how their baby was born. 

Another study also found no differences between egg donation, sperm donation, and natural conception mothers or fathers in levels of parenting stress, depression, anxiety, or relationship satisfaction when children were one year of age. At ages two and three, no differences were found between family types for mothers or fathers on any of the psychological health measures. When children were age 10, egg donation mothers did not differ in their scores for maternal distress compared with sperm donation or natural conception mothers.

A US-based study of 31 egg donation families with a child aged six months to five years found that when assessing family interactions, the sample scored lower than norms on conflict scores, and higher than norms on cohesion scores. Meaning, parents whose child was born via egg donation had better perceptions of interpersonal relationships within the family than a normative sample.

Parents whose child was born via egg donation had better perceptions of interpersonal relationships within the family than a normative sample.

Another study found that egg donation mothers expressed greater enjoyment in motherhood and greater warmth toward their infant than natural conception mothers, and greater pleasure in proximity to the infant. Greater emotional involvement with the baby was also found among gamete donation parents compared with natural conception parents.

How do children feel about being donor-conceived? 

What about the emerging research on donor conceived children’s perspectives of the quality of their relationships with their parents and their own psychological well-being? The European Study of Assisted Reproduction found children conceived through egg donation to be well-adjusted in terms of their socioemotional development at ages both three to eight years of age and at age 12. 

Relationship quality collected using a semistructured interview designed to obtain children's perspectives on family relationships indicated that children in egg donation, sperm donation, and natural conception families viewed their parents similarly in terms of their affection, harshness, and anger. No differences were found between groups at either age in children's interview ratings of maternal or paternal warmth and affection, availability, or amount of interests/activities shared with parents. Unlike in natural conception families, egg donation children did not report a decline in shared activities with their mothers and fathers between the two timepoints. And in another study, when children were asked about whether they would change anything about their family, the vast majority said that they would keep their family the same as it is, suggesting contentment with their current situation.

When [donor-conceived] children were asked about whether they would change anything about their family, the vast majority said that they would keep their family the same as it is, suggesting contentment with their current situation

Longitudinal research shows that children born via egg donation do not differ in their psychological adjustment from children born through other forms of assisted reproduction or through natural conception. At all timepoints egg donation, children were similar to comparison groups of behavioral and socioemotional adjustment and in adolescence they showed similar scores for self-esteem and positive psychological functioning. 

Overall, studies that have looked at the long-term outcomes regarding family well being and the quality of relationship between parent and child indicates that families conceived via egg donation function well in terms of child adjustment, parental psychological health, and parent-child relationship quality. Some researchers conclude that this may be because those  who continue to have fertility treatments despite failures may have strong coping skills and thus may not be as affected by everyday parenting issues. With regard to the quality of parent-child relationships, researchers have consistently found a high quality of parenting relationship  between parent and child across studies.