female infertility
How to Talk to Your Partner About Freezing Your Eggs
So, you’ve already taken the first step and decided you want to pursue egg freezing, but now you’re asking yourself, “how do I tell people I’m freezing my eggs?”
So, you’ve already taken the first step and decided you want to pursue egg freezing, but now you’re asking yourself, “how do I tell people I’m freezing my eggs?”
We get it, deciding to freeze your eggs is a huge decision, and talking about it with the people in your life can feel even more overwhelming, especially your romantic partner. However, having an open and honest conversation is a great way to ensure that both of you are on the same page. Here are some tips on how to approach the conversation.
Educate yourself first
Before you try to explain the egg freezing process to your partner, it’s important to have a clear understanding of it all yourself. Your partner is definitely going to have a lot of questions about the process, so make sure to spend some time researching the process, success rates, and cost involved so that you’re prepared to answer their questions. This will also help you approach the conversation with confidence and show that you’re not taking this decision lightly.
Talk about what this means for your future
We know, talking about family-building with your partner can sometimes feel a little uncomfortable, especially if the relationship is still new. However, it’s important to make sure your partner understands what freezing your eggs means for your future family planning (and why you’re choosing to freeze eggs instead of embryos). Whether you know you want to have kids someday or you’re still not sure, freezing your eggs is a great way to give yourself and your partner options down the line. And with Cofertility’s Split program, you can do so without the financial strain, by freezing your eggs entirely for free when you give half to another family.
Freezing eggs vs. embryos
If you’re in a relationship with a biologically male partner, you may be wondering if you should freeze embryos instead of eggs. While it’s true that thawing success rates can be slightly higher for embryos than eggs (at a 95% survival rate vs 90% for eggs), the downside is that once an egg is fertilized with sperm, there’s no going back, so freezing eggs instead of embryos will give you more options down the line. We know, this might be a little bit of an awkward one to bring up with your partner, but it might come up at some point, so the best you can do is be prepared with the facts.
Prepare for their questions
If you think through the possible questions they could ask, you’ll feel more prepared and confident in answering them. This could include:
- Why are you freezing your eggs?
- What are the potential risks and side effects of egg freezing?
- What if you don’t need the eggs down the line?
- How long can you keep frozen eggs?
- How many eggs should you freeze to maximize your chances of a successful pregnancy?
- How many eggs do you think you’ll get? How many do you want?
- Are there any potential emotional or psychological effects of egg freezing?
Obviously you can’t predict every question that may be thrown your way. And if they ask a question that throws you off, you can just say “Great question, let me think about how to best answer that and get back to you”.
Revisit the conversation often
Something as important as your fertility and reproductive future should never be a one-and-done conversation, so keep this conversation an ongoing one. It’s likely that your perspectives will evolve over time, so it’s important to keep the conversation fresh so you can address any concerns as they come up. If at any time you or your partner have questions, our team at Cofertility is always here to help.
Summing it up
The decision to freeze your eggs is extremely personal and life-changing in a lot of ways, so it’s crucial that you feel supported in this decision. We know approaching the conversation can be scary at first, but by following the tips we just mentioned, you’ll be able to have an honest, empathetic, open conversation with your partner about your egg freezing journey and your future.
I'm a Psychologist: Here's How to Talk to Your Partner About Donating Your Eggs
One of the most important people to start the conversation about donating your eggs with is your partner. Having an open and honest conversation is a great way to ensure that both of you are on the same page and have a clear understanding of what donating your eggs means. Here are some tips on how to approach the conversation.
Considering egg donation is an extremely rewarding experience, and one that you may want to share with your family, friends and significant other. And because of the nature of the entire process — the lengthy application that asks about your family medical history, a psychological and medical evaluation, hormone injections and medical retrieval ( where you will need someone to accompany you after) — it is definitely not something you should do alone. And donating your eggs doesn't just impact you, it can very well impact your partner, your family and future children. So, if you’re thinking to yourself, “I am ready to donate my eggs to help out another family. Now how do I tell people I’m donating my eggs?” — we’re here for you.
One of the most important people to start this conversation with is your partner. Having an open and honest conversation is a great way to ensure that both of you are on the same page and have a clear understanding of what donating your eggs means. Here are some tips on how to approach the conversation.
Educate yourself first
Since you have already decided that egg donation is for you, you have most likely already done a lot of research. But, explaining it to someone else can be another story. Especially if they start asking about how it may impact them in the future. our partner might have questions about the egg retrieval procedure and the potential risks, they may also ask about what happens to your eggs after you donate them, and what happens when that egg becomes a human and wants to meet you. So make sure you spend some time doing the research for yourself. You can do that by talking to Cofertility, an IVF doctor or fertility psychologist. Ask a lot of questions. Do your homework. You want to become an expert so that you’re ready to field those important questions that will be asked.
Start with your partner
Once armed with all your egg donation knowledge, start the conversation with your partner. Having an open and honest conversation is a great way to ensure that both of you are on the same page and have a clear understanding of what donating your eggs means. Here are some tips on how to approach the conversation.
Talk about what this means for your future
Donating your eggs is a huge decision that can have an impact on your life far beyond your retrieval, so it’s important to have an open and honest discussion with your partner about what that might look like. For example, if you’re participating in Cofertility’s Split program (where you donate half of your retrieved eggs and keep half for yourself for for free for your own future use) and you and your partner think you may want to have children of your own in the future, it will be important for those children to know about your egg donation. After all, they’ll likely have at least one biological half-sibling out there that they may be curious about someday. Additionally, when you match with intended parents, both parties will agree on a desired disclosure status and outline what the relationship between you (the donor), the intended parents, and the donor-conceived child will look like. So it will be important for your partner to be in-the-know about the details
Prepare for their questions
If you think through the possible questions they could ask, you’ll feel more prepared and confident in answering them. This could include:
- Why are you donating your eggs?
- What are the potential risks and side effects of egg donation?
- What is the egg donation procedure like?
- Will donating your eggs impact our ability to have children of our own someday (hint: it won’t)
- What do you imagine our relationship with the recipient family will look like?
- Are there any potential emotional or psychological effects of egg donation?
- Do you think you’ll donate more than once?
Obviously you can’t predict every question that may be thrown your way. And if they ask a question that throws you off, you can just say “Great question, let me think about how to best answer that and get back to you”.
Revisit the conversation often
A decision as meaningful as donating your eggs should never be a one-and-done conversation, so keep this conversation an ongoing one. It’s likely that your perspectives will evolve over time, so it’s important to keep the conversation fresh so you can address any concerns as they come up. If at any time you or your partner have questions, our team at Cofertility is always here to help.
Summing it up
By donating your eggs, you’re truly making a life-changing impact on another family’s life, by giving them the opportunity to grow the family of their dreams. You should feel 100% confident in this decision before going into it, and having a supportive partner will make the egg donation process infinitely easier. Open and honest communication is key to any healthy relationship, and by involving your partner in this conversation early on, you’ll be setting yourself up for a successful donation experience that you can feel good about.